The Grevious reference is alright, I suppose. It is better to just leave out the involvement of "famous characters" while writing stories, though, unless you have an indepth knowledge of their standing in our current timeline.

The only thing I'm really looking at is your age. You say your character is 25, but then you also mention trying to hunt down Jedi during the Jedi Purge.

Order 66 - Clone Wars -> Jedi were Purged

Our current timeline: Some years into the Thrawn Era (Approximately 10-15 years after the events of Return of the Jedi).

Taking the above into consideration, this would place your character's age at about... 60 years old, give or take a few years. Consider this: Obi Wan Kenobi was about 30 years old during Episode II (Clone Wars), and about 60 years old in RotJ. If your character was, say, "hunting Jedi" at the age of 25, then your character (in our current timeline) would probably be in his late 70s or early-to-mid 80s.

I don't think you want your character that old. If you really have your heart set on mentioning your family's involvement during the Clone Wars, I would suggest not having you in it. Keep your grand father there. Unless your father decided to procreate when he was 50 years old or so, you would be very old in our current timeline.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

Ok, I overlooked this, and you mentioned 20 years in carbonite. Your character would still be in his mid-forties to early fifties.

What I find that a lot of people do is that they don't take our timeline into consideration. They know of events and what has transpired in the movies, but the fact is that there is a considerably large gap in time between the events of Episode III and where we are now.

-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

Is my bio ok now?
 
-----------------------
"We're all dying. Promise yourselves you'll be the last to go."
Commander Salvo

I am techically 40, as I was born in 32BBY(before the battle of Yavin), was 8 when the battle of Geonosis broke, out and became a bounty hunter in 14 BBY. Are there any plot holes?
 
-----------------------
"We're all dying. Promise yourselves you'll be the last to go."
Commander Salvo

If you want to be a 40-year old Private, that's up to you and it's fine. You'll probably find it a little strange though, but whatever floats your boat. I'm a Major General, and my character is 25 years old. I'm a little older now, but I haven't made any new biography to reflect this.

Darin, I need you to create a character biograpy of 2-3 paragraphs. In this biography, I need you to state your character's history (talk about his/her past, what life he led, his parents, etc.) This biography's main purpose is to establish your character in the Vast Empire, and a means for the rest of us to get to know who your character is. (Personality, traits, etc.) I'll have an email sent to you by tomorrow for more information.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

physically though can I be 25?
 
-----------------------
"We're all dying. Promise yourselves you'll be the last to go."
Commander Salvo

ATTENTION! DRILL SQUAD AWOL CHECK!

Everyone excluding the following individuals will be evaluated for termination:

Private Rannik
Private Darin Saine
Private Garra

Private Jag Fel, I know I've seen you post recently, but the fact that you are still in Drill Squad isn't good news for you. The reason you are still in this squad is because you have not completed a final draft of your biography and posted the new/final draft in your biography topic. You must do this in order to progress in the Corps.

Now, on to the exciting part: for those who do not respond to this AWOL check by next Friday will be removed from Drill Squad.

If you have questions about your assigned task (character biography), post your questions here or on your biography topic.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

Ah, ok, well anything school/real-life related is reasonable excuse.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

As of this moment, nothing really in terms of time conflicts. I was merely posing the question to you of whether or not you really want a 40-year old character, but that's your decision. We have some people that are older and some that are younger, so you're just one of the extremes.

You'll be placed in a squad. Check your email for your new assignment.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------

Native Language: Basic
Hair Color: Deep sapphire, Almost black
Eye Color: Grey, yellow lining
Skin Color: Snow White from years without the sun on flesh
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 172 lbs
Age: 21
Full Name: Galant Tales Rendar
Physical Build: Muscular, with a softish look when un-flexed
Home world: Unknown


Talents/Skills

1)    Extreme skills in wilderness survival (can identify plants, make maps, primitive shelters, and fire building)
2)    Has a higher endurance then most other, can finish a hundred meter sprint in under 15.7 seconds


Background History

A red grass feild, a warm wind from the south, a glaring autumn sun. And beside Galant, was her, his beautiful girlfriend Missy. Her golden hair hung loosely around her shoulders and her deep blue eyes seemed to sear their way into his very soul. She laughed, and Galant laughed with her at seemingly nothing, nothing, nothing...

They were seated in the great eastern red plains, almost a kilometre from the small village that was their home, home, home. If he looked back, he could even see the guards patrolling the 15 meter high walls and the huge durasteel gate that was still wide open, but he didn't want to look back, he wanted to look at her and the beauty all around them in the nature of the planet. He wanted the moment to last for at least a second longer, He sat in silence, with her beside him, and then decided to start talking. He wanted to ask her how long they had known each other, even though he knew the answer, "Forever" she would say cheerfully, and he would laugh with her again and then, he would make eye contact, reach in to his pocket, and pull it out. A small golden ring, he wanted to as her to marry him, he wanted to start a family, a farm, and live happily until he died and left the farm to his children. It would be the perfect life. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

But just as he opened his mouth to start, the warning siren in the village went off, calling everyone outside in. Galant looked up and saw huge fireballs cry across the sky. But it was no longer [i]his[/i] sky. It was now a mass of bubbling grey cloud and fire. Fire that was raining down. He grabbed missy's hand and they ran together. She was too slow and the gates were starting to close so he picked her up and ran with all his might. They made it just in time, time, time...

The gate opened up to them and they ran inside to the town square where hundreds of screaming terrified people were crying and milling about like ants at a kicked ant hill. But the square was made to hold only 25-50 people so it was stuffed, stuffed beyond its limits. Missy cried out but Galant hel her close to his body as they walked deeper into the crowed to where the Village mayor was standing with two soldiers, calling out to the peope to calm down. Another sound was suddenly added to the din of noise, it was weapons fire. The deep blasting noise made by the village defence squad and then an explosion hit a wall sending a spray of rock and bodies into the crowd. Every single man, woman and child in the square suddenly pushed away from the explosion, everyone except for the poor few that were crushed to death by falling feet upon their un protected heads. The pushing was hard to fight against So Galant had to gently place missy on her feet. He grabbed her hand and shouted for her to stay with him. He pushed with the crowd away from the gapping hole in the wall and then felt Missy's hand leave his. He yelled for Her but did not hear from her again in that noise and fray of peoples bodies.

From the dark sky, he saw an Imperial drop ship enter orbit and come towards the mayhem in the square. It let loose two missiles outside the walls and then let the engine give out enough for the ship to hover just over the crowd. The ships back loading ramp opened up and four StormTroopers starting pulling people into the transport, saving their lives! saving, saving, saving...

He felt his feet leave the ground as two Troopers lifted him not the ship and the he stood there. Looking over the crowd, thinking. "Bless the Empire and her incredible army"

-----------------------------------------------------

That was his memory of that day, the day his life went straight to hell. He joined the imperial army and right wasy was sent to a barracks where they had a very strange training program. The imperial commander just stuffed each recruit into a tube that was then hooked up to their bodies. It rrelaxed then tensed their muscles, it fed them, and it ran simulations of battles from as far back as the battle of Hoth. Sometimes, they would stay in the ubes for up too a month, other times, only an hour. and each time just as painful and stranuous on his mind. But the memory of Missy kept him going. The emory of that feild. that day. he wanted it all back and the only way to do that was to... Actually. He didn't know. He didnt know how he was even in the army. He had no idea of how long he was there or when the last time he ate was. All that was for curtain was that his brain hurt like a nasty little bug was in-side there. Eating wasay at everything he was and replacing all he knew with Imperial love and memor---*Bizat*

"I loved the empire. Ever since they saved me from that day of fire on my home planet. Those troopers standing over me was just what I wanted. I always wanted. Farming was always my fathers thing. I hate farming. I hated my life on that planet. It was hell after all, wasn't it?"

The tube opened and the commander was standing there. Galant made eye contact and then fell out of his tube to the floor, completely wipped out by everything in the tube. But he loved the tube...or did he hate the tube...Other troopers love the tube. the commander tells me I love the tube. I love the tube...Yes..love the tube. It keeps my mind set on my goal of imperialism for the galaxy. He will die for the cause. He will die for it...

Galant Rendar Blacked out.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The communications were abuzz at the loss of four..or was it two troopers in the forest, "We've lost scouts in the wilderness, Im sending more out to look for them, or evidence of what happened to them." Said his squad captain. Galant just nodded as he looked around the deeply forested area to his left, right and front. However, at his back was  a metal structure that had to survive at all costs. Had to survive. Galant was told to stand his post and not let anything get past or escape. He heard whistling and turned to his left to see a middle aged male standing there unarmed.

"You there, Freeze!" Galant called out as he rushed forward with his blaster rifle primed and ready. The man leaped to the side and Galant followed around the corner of the facility to find an entire squad of rebels. All aiming at him, "Damn." Was all Galant said as the young man came forward and took his blaster rifle, side-arm, and everything in his battle belt. They then stripped him of his armour and two of the rebels took Galant out into the wilderness. They left him there in the forest to think and to die without anything but a short vibroknife and four ration packs.

Only a few minutes later, at a distance, he heard blaster fire and the yells of his comrades. He started to dash back to the facility but by the time He had reached it. There was nothing but a scorched hunk of steel that used to be the base, and over one hundred scorched or speared bodies of his comrades. Only 13 of them survived the battle at Endor.

He was taken to see the quarter master on his assigned star destroyer and was put on trial where they decided Galant should spend the next few years back at the tubes for re-programming for the abandonment of his post and not fighting with the other troopers. Re-programming?

-------------------------------------------

Its been years since Galant has seen the light of day, its been years since he was even able to think for himself, its been years and now he was being sent out again. Sent out do do the bidding of the Empire. But what he once knew was no longer alive. The Emprie as he knew it was dead. All that was left was a few clans of imperial warlords and admirals. It was just a stroke of luck that the re-programming tubes were on a planet owned by the people he served now. But as long as the flag the used was imperial. He would serve them to his death. To his bloody well Death.

(and so begins the stroy of Galant Rendar, Just another StormTrooper for the Empire.)


Alright, how was that for a starter?
 
-----------------------
New Recruit Rendar, Reporting for Assigned Duty

Thanks alot ^^

I'll go through and get rid of any errors that I can find()When I get excited about something, I often start making small mistakes from typing too fast..))
 
-----------------------
New Recruit Rendar, Reporting for Assigned Duty

Yes, sir, thank-you, sir.
 
-----------------------
New Recruit Rendar, Reporting for Assigned Duty

Name: Jagged Fel
Callsign: Jag Fel
Hair color: Brown (cut short)
Eye color: Brown
Height: 1.89m
Weight: 190lbs
Age: 20
Sex: male

By growing up in the higher levels of coruscant he always had the best. He never much cared about the rebel scum and there fight for 'freedom'. Money was not an option for his family. He and his brother would never have to work. But one day his brother dedcided to join the Imperial navy and hos whole world was shattered. His brother died during the fight for coruscant. Ever since then he always cared who won what fight. He thought he could do anything with his money.... even kill some high ranking rebel leaders. This is his story....


He used his money to buy power. He hired every mercenary he could get his hands on and assembled a private army. In all there were twenty and he was the leader. By hacking in to the systems of senators and the like he disabled there security systems and executed as amny of them as he could. But one night the bothans managed to find out his target.

"The second wave is coming. Lets hit the target and go!" Shouted one of the mercenaries in the middle of the first wave of coruscanti security forces.

Jag had already taken a shot to his arm but he still shouted "You hold em off! I'll take him out!" Jag blasted open the door to the apartment and found it empty! He was so frustrated he just started shooting at the wall and he found a secret entrance!

He whispered to himself, "I've got you now." He ran through the tunnel and he could here the sound of a ships engines warming up. He snuck aboard and waited until they were in hyperspave.

He ran into the cockpit pulled out his vibroblade and slit his throat. He thought to himself "I can never go back." He then started thinking about his brother and remembered that he signed up for the navy on the planet that was now controled by one of the splinter groups of the empire. He set course and dedcided that he wouldnt follow in his brothers footsteps. He would put his skills too good use in the stormtrooper corps...



He doesnt like being told exactly how to go into a fight because thats what his brother woulf of done. Ever since the ambush on coruscant he would kill without hesitation. Even his best friend...




-----------------------
"The fate of the free world is in the hands of a bunch of hustlers and thieves" XXX2

"Ive got a lot of demon in me" ANGEL

92% of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

Callsign: Riqimo

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Species: Human

Height: 4'8"

Weight: 175 Pounds

Hair Color: Auburn

Eye Color: Green

Spoken Languages: Bocce, Bothan, Galactic Basic, Huttese, Jawaese, Mandalorian, Old Corellian, Pau'an, Shyriiwook, Tusken, and Ubese

Understood Languages: Ithorian , Kubazi, and Lekku

Planet Of Birth: Nar Shaddaa


History

Born on Nar Shaddaa (destroyed 18 ABY) to a smuggler couple, Riqimo has spent much of his life traveling the galaxy learning many languages.  On his 15th birthday, he left his parents for his own smuggling ship, called the Goden Davk.  Riqimo spent much of his time customizing this ship and specialized in smuggling droids and ship parts.

Due to his specialization in droids, much of his time was spent on Tatoonine where Jawaese and Bocce was picked up by him, as well as Tusken which was learnt through an unusual encounter.  A young tusken had wandered out alone and was attacked by a wraid.  Riqimo killed the wraid and a Holy Warrior of the nearby Tusken enclave forced Riqimo to the chief.  Because of his actions, Riqimo was welcomed as an honorary tusken, where he was taught, slowly but surely, the Tusken language.

Later, he was hired on Ando Prime of as a translator for pod races when his ship was damaged beyond repair.  A few days after receiving his first paycheck, Riqimo smuggled himself onto a transport to the Empire's recruiting post.

There seems to be an opening in Wraith which I would like