Linda_Irris
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
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*Sigh*
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July 17, 2005
9:56:44 PM
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Ok... I feel that what I'm about to say will be a disappointment for some... but I think it's really necessary. I am actually a male irl. I know everyone knows me as a female online, and I really hate that that is so... but it's true. I just have an easier time playing a female, and over the years RPs and such have merely reinforced the entire idea. I hate lying to people, and I feel that you guys don't need to be lied to. I hate myself IRL, I hate alot of things about the world, and I felt that somehow, playing a female character sorta would make things fade away.
And in a sense things did... I'd had alot of bad experiances playing a male... and it was the whole thing about being a male IRL and being a male IRP that blurred things so bad that at one time I really did fall for a girl IRP. It was so sad when I learned that she was really married. And I slipped so far into female characters that at one point I just let myself go. I was male IRL and female IRP.
I use female characters to create a chasm between my two personalities. Some things get past it, but the majority of my life stays put. I don't have to worry about falling in love with people because our characters get too close because I realize they're in love with a female, not with you. And it's been the lack of a girlfriend over the years that just helped fuel this to the point that it is today.
I'm sorry if I may have lied to some of ya'll, but my friend helped me realize that people act differant on the internet, and I'm gonna do something very drastic and actually be myself. I'm not going to start playing males all of a sudden, but I'm going to start becoming my true self. What you see is what you'll get if you were to meet me on the street tomorrow. I want to thank my friend Chui for this, and I envy you guys in the Army who get him. He's a good guy, and he can certainly take a punch.
I'm done ranting and raving, because I have work tomorrow. Goodnight. -----------------------
It's not a question of wether I think you're life is worth something, it's wether I think your life is worth the cost of recharging my blaster pack after I get done shooting you.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because when you're not looking I'll pick up your blaster and shoot you with it. But only if I don't like you! |
Cosmic
ComNet Sage
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
Post Number: 3577
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 17, 2005
10:03:23 PM
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Hmm. Interesting. Thanks for the let-know. Guess you had to bring it out sometime or another - better sooner here than later.
I hope the VE can help build some confidence - even though we are just a game. -----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
----------------------- |
Linda_Irris
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 25
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 17, 2005
10:05:40 PM
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Atleast you guys are supportive. I know some places where guys playing girls would get cast out forever. I think I prefer the VE over anything I've come upon so far, and that's speaking from nearly 4 years of experiance in one RP or another. |
Cosmic
ComNet Sage
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
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[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 17, 2005
10:18:29 PM
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If you want, now that we know this, just make a new start. A new character: Male. No worries or problems. You're an awesome writer and a decent individual. I don't see any reason why people would look down upon you. -----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
----------------------- |
Jen Knight
ComNet Initiate
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 17, 2005
10:21:29 PM
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I guess I could say I wasn't expecting this at all, but I am very glad you are being true to yourself. Thank you for trusting us and letting us know. -----------------------
Jen Knight
As Darkness falls, Night unfolds ebon wings to wrap the world in its dark embrace...
Vast Empire Navy
FM/PO2 Jen Knight/Nazgul 12 (3-4)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE(=*A*=)[VC:B] |
Fury
ComNet Overlord
[VE-ARMY] Surface Marshal
[VE-VEHC] Surface Marshal*
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
1:21:04 AM
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In the end, it's call "role-playing" and you get to pick what role you present yourself as.
I mean, you're being genuine to yourself, moreso than the occasional 13-year old trying to pass themselves off as a more worldy and knowledgeable 18-year old. Or choose your own example.
As for self-loathing, we've all had at least a slight bout of it. The important thing is to realize that today isn't the end of the world and where you are now is not the place you will end up.
Things change, people change, lives change.
Take a moment to look at the bigger picture. I don't do the group therapy thing well and if that's what you are looking for, other members are better geared for that. But having spent a few moments in my life totally out of options, at the bottom of the bottle, one round left and no way out, etc. I can tell you there's always another day.
Don't sweat your online persona not being "genuine." The only face we see is the one you show us; we may never have been the wiser. -----------------------
PRF/SM Fury/VEA/TADATH/VE [MoH][SCPx2][PoC][SotE:HC][SotE:VEA][MSM][IOC]
Prefect - Stormtrooper Corps
Administrator - Imperial Center |
Talon
ComNet Overlord
[VE-ARMY] Surface Marshal
[VE-DJO] Dark Jeedai Master
[VE-VEHC] Surface Marshal
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
1:36:15 AM
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Thanks for the honesty. I'm a little touchy on this subject, so I'm going to bite my tongue.
Oh, and welcome to the VE. I'm still working on catching up from my leave time, so this is the first post I've seen of you. -----------------------
OO/SM Sierra "Talon" Taurus/HC-3/VEHC/VE[BC][IOC][LoC][SoS][BM][CDS][MSM][MoH]
GM-SL/DJM "Nightblades"/DC-1/Elite Griffen Sect/VSD-II Griffen/VEDJ/VE[IOC][OQD][WoS 2nd Class][EoP][SoY][SCx2]
-----------------------
SCAP/COM Vincent "Claw" Taurus/ISD Nemesis/Offensive Fleet/VEN/VE[=*A*=][=*SA*=][LoM][IOC][IC2]
CEO Vincent "Claw" Taurus/ECHC-1/Endoven/Dome 8473/VEEC/VE
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Verastinian Republic - Minster of Antiquities (Fossil Technology) |
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Disciple
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
5:47:32 AM
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zar mulix
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 322
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
8:55:53 AM
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Yeah its good that you let peopole know if that sounds right in any way. Not only are you being hoinest and true to others but to yourself as well. It also relieves any stress there might be yet you may not notice it. But there's nothing wrong with what you did so this isnt really a "confession" ornaything, and to act like another somehow sometimes lets you let go of maybe another side of you that you have suppressed or repressed or whatevers the word and allow you to actually be you, or the side of you that you want to truly be. For example when Im here everyone says im being an idiot and a fool or whatever, because i let that out here which I cant do in real life or I would fail completely.
But letting go of the little kid side of me allows me to be more peaceful as I can alternate between being serious or not and it doesnt "slip out" randomly, and i can be serious if I have to be, just most of the time I choose not to be. Now I forgot what I was talking about but anyway maybe its the same for you. Im not sure. Didnt really get to know you that well
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Private First Class Zar Mulix
TRP/PFC Zar Mulix/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE [LoR]
"When the big man jumps, the world shakes in terror"- Zar Mulix
"Experience does not exist, nor does it have value, for it is just a word used to describe our past errors."
[This message has been edited by
zar mulix
(edited July 18, 2005
8:57:41 AM)]
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Giovanni Bryden
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Corporal
Post Number: 379
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
12:28:05 AM
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Right on. As long as you put it out there for others to know. -----------------------
*DarkDragoons*
*Corporal Giovanni A. Bryden*
TRP/CPL Giovanni Bryden/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE/[LoR]
Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.
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Hellra
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
[VE-VEEC] Gaming Reporter
Post Number: 383
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
1:20:44 PM
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Like Cosmic said, you are an awesome writer, and why would it hurt that yu are playing with an female char?
Hehe, I am the anoying kinda kid on the block but everyone still loves me in RL.
I decided to portray Hellra exatcly as i am. Even some of my bio has a link to my RL, butvery indirect. I turned everything to symbolic meanings. Linda, i don't have a problem with it, and well respect is a big thing, and that is what VE haves.
I have these quotes i used to have in my sig:
Sometimes your the pigeon, sometimes your the statue....
Rather be the table cloth than the dishrag...
Everyone makes mistakes, acknowledge them, learn from them but dont drown in them...
I can sum up everything i have learned about life....s@#t happens...
There is a fine line between everything, before one decides on a matter, make sure you can see that line....
The lie is but moment, the truth is forever...
When i could see it, i couldn't stop it, when i could have stopped it, i didn't see it.....
Money is the root of all evil, but it makes the misery so much more comfortable... -----------------------
Lance Corporal Hellra
-=Lancer Squad=- -=EL=- -=Blue Technical=-
EL/LCPL Hellra/2SQD/1PLT/1CMP/1REG/1BAT/Tadath/VEA[LoR][ES2C] |
Kuroishi
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Sergeant First Class
Post Number: 827
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Joined: Apr 2001
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
1:28:31 PM
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I have my schism.
Mine is not gender based though.
IRL I am a fine upstanding citizen who has a job that challenges thier sanity. IRP I am one of the most psychoticly depraved people you'll ever meet.
It's actually been most illuminating of a dualistic nature.
Sometimes a little fantasy and the help of some good people can be far more helpfull then any psychologist. -----------------------
Kuroishi Wraith VEA
Daishi Raptor VEN
Assistant Writer Why Project Copyright Infringment
Ich bin hessliche amerikaner.
Nehmen mir zu dein frauen von vernunftig preis tugendhafte.
"And the sound of many heads hitting many solid objects was heard throughout the land." me
Avatar by scientist computer graphics subdivision of Clan Wombat.
"It's not what I'm on it's what I'm NOT on."-far as I know me
"Now equiped with Swiss Army Lightsaber!"
5/13/2005-My journey to the Darkside is complete |
vint
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
4:43:00 PM
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This reminds me of Megatokyo... -----------------------
Go here or die. It's updated every day. |
Talon
ComNet Overlord
[VE-ARMY] Surface Marshal
[VE-DJO] Dark Jeedai Master
[VE-VEHC] Surface Marshal
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
4:53:16 PM
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/me sicks Dom on Vint for saying that. -----------------------
OO/SM Sierra "Talon" Taurus/HC-3/VEHC/VE[BC][IOC][LoC][SoS][BM][CDS][MSM][MoH]
GM-SL/DJM "Nightblades"/DC-1/Elite Griffen Sect/VSD-II Griffen/VEDJ/VE[IOC][OQD][WoS 2nd Class][EoP][SoY][SCx2]
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SCAP/COM Vincent "Claw" Taurus/ISD Nemesis/Offensive Fleet/VEN/VE[=*A*=][=*SA*=][LoM][IOC][IC2]
CEO Vincent "Claw" Taurus/ECHC-1/Endoven/Dome 8473/VEEC/VE
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Verastinian Republic - Minster of Antiquities (Fossil Technology) |
Chui
ComNet n00b
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
9:16:18 PM
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Wow. All this because of my good natured ribbing  Holy crap! Since when do I have three eyes?
I am just going to freak right out now... -----------------------
[LoR] |
Linda_Irris
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 37
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 18, 2005
9:28:10 PM
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you're crazy Chui. That's all I have to say  -----------------------
FM/CRW Linda_Irris/Sting6 (2-2)/Wing2/ISD-II Devastator/Offensive/VEN/VE |
zar mulix
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 334
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 19, 2005
9:49:25 PM
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yeah i agree  Trust me this does not in any way mea that you are stupid. There just no other sign poiting upwards -----------------------
Private First Class Zar Mulix
TRP/PFC Zar Mulix/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE [LoR]
"When the big man jumps, the world shakes in terror"- Zar Mulix
"Experience does not exist, nor does it have value, for it is just a word used to describe our past errors."
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Carnanum Ree
ComNet n00b
The Vast Empire [NAVY]
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RE: *Sigh*
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July 31, 2005
10:14:23 AM
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If you were a CS player you'd probably make a lot of guys look really really stupid with that 
I myself use female characters in games like PSO online (NGC) simply because either their (different) stats or because the males just look like sh*t. I dont see whats wrong with that,how about all the female characters in games like Tekken and Dead- Or Alive,imagine someone playing DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball,if you play that does it make you strange cos you play a female character when your male? Dont think so.
Being yourself is the best thing,and considering you CANT be someone else it doesnt matter if you use a female character online. People should appreciate that. (BTW im mormon/christian) -----------------------
"Dont Run From Darkness,Dont Hide From Light,Hope And Despair Will Always Be In Sight"
"Hi! Im a signature virus,copy me into your signature to help me spread!"
 Private Carnanum Ree,Empiral Navy
Email: [email protected] (Email2,Email3)
 MSN: [email protected]: Carnanum
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Rahhu
ComNet n00b
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RE: *Sigh*
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August 10, 2005
2:01:23 PM
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I know plenty of guys who RP as girls and MMORPGs and what not. They are normal people too and I have no problem with it at all. I have 3 fem chars on SWG, only 1 on FFXI but I still play fem chars too. So if you want to play as a female do it. And I must say you do RP well as a female.
 hehe i luv Pez |
Slick
ComNet Initiate
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 182
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RE: *Sigh*
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August 10, 2005
2:47:23 PM
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Live as you will, and role-play the same. Do what you wish. I don't have a problem with it, and it seems many others don't. It's your personality that tells who you are... not the gender you are/play. -----------------------
TRP/PFC Slick/4SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/1RGT/Tadath/VEA[LoR]
"Even the best soldiers will fall if they stand alone."
"If you question your actions in war... you know that you are still sane." |
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