Raigen
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J0K3Z
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June 27, 2006
12:41:49 AM
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Just post your jokes here and raise some morale around here. Cmon guys get your funny bones ready!
Sergeant
"The boys at Army Intelligience just sent us this report!"
Private
"Army Intelligience......isn't that contradictory?"
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C/2lt Clary, 1st Element, Charlie Flight, Squadron One, LA932, AFJROTC Model Rocketry Officer
.......yup thats me
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Supreme White Knight of the Reply 
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FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
[This message has been edited by
Raigen
(edited June 30, 2006
9:51:49 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Raigen
(edited June 30, 2006
9:52:30 PM)]
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D'har Leth
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
12:06:39 AM
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Two blondes are walking through the woods and come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "These are deer tracks."
The second blonde says, "No, these are rabbit tracks."
So, they stand there and argue about it for 15 minutes
And then they get hit by the train.
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Private First Class D'har Leth
-=Wraith Squad=-
TRP/PFC D'har/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
(BUY MORE URINAL CAKES) |
Darr-Rann
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
1:50:21 PM
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*burns the 3 in the topic* -----------------------
Raiders
SL/SGT_Darr-Rann/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath [LoR][CoR]
|FL/CPO_Demonic/Kaph 5/PheonixWing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE| (=*A*=)(=*SA*=)
SERGEANT
CHIEF PETTY OFFICER
one of few - A vast Empire medic
Read Losses of Vandetta by me and Hellra
Flashmaker |
Giovanni Bryden
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
3:39:46 PM
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Heres a spicy one.
Whats the difference between Acne and a Catholic Priest?
Acne comes on a boys face After he turns 13. -----------------------
*DarkDragoons*
*Assistant Squad Leader Senior Sergeant Giovanni A. Bryden*
ASL/SSGT Giovanni Bryden/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE/[LoR][ES1C]
Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.
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Raigen
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
4:47:32 PM
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NEW RULE. NO PROFANITY IN THE J0K3S!
PLEASE DELETE YOUR POST GIOVANI!
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FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Cadet Second Lieutenant Clary
C/2lt Clary, Model Rocketry Officer, LA932 AFJROTC
[This message has been edited by
Raigen
(edited June 29, 2006
2:23:02 AM)]
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Sandwich Sam
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
4:58:02 PM
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Ok, I don't have a joke but I think this would go here anyhow.
The Hammurder -----------------------
DarkDragoons
FTL/SSGT Sandwich Sam/2SQD/1PLT/1CMP/1REG/1BAT/Tadath/VEA [LoR][BM][GS]
Sandwich Sam -- Giver of Life to the HDDs that have crossed over |
Raigen
ComNet Cadet
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
5:05:42 PM
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Good one Sam! -----------------------
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Cadet Second Lieutenant Clary
C/2lt Clary, Model Rocketry Officer, LA932 AFJROTC |
Angel
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[VE-DJO] Sith Guardian
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
5:12:26 PM
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A blonde gets pulled over by a police officer for speeding on the freeway. When the cop gets to the window, she asks for the blonde's ID. The blonde searches around her car, tearing through her purse, the glovebox, everything, until she finally asks, "what does my ID look like?"
The cop responds "well its a little rectangle and it has your face on it."
So the blonde continues digging through her purse until she finds a small makeup mirror. Pulling it out she sees her reflection and hands it to the cop and says, "Is this my ID?"
The cop, who is also blonde looks at the small rectangular mirror and says "Oh I'm sorry, you can go. I didn't know you were a cop."
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=[Retired]=
=[Former SL Raider]=
=[Former ASL Iron Horse]=
[LoR] [RoM] [BC] [CDS] [WM] [GRoM] [IH] {BoA}
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Sith Guardian
CM/SG Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi/Eagle 1-1/Sith/Dark Jedi Order/Vast Empire [VP:1]
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[This message has been edited by
Angel
(edited June 27, 2006
5:12:54 PM)]
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D'har Leth
ComNet Novice
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
5:24:59 PM
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A blonde is driving through Nebraska alongside a cornfield. In the middle of the cornfield, theres a blonde in a rowboat trying to row.
The blonde in the car leans out the window and shouts, "It's blondes like you that give us a bad name!"
The blonde in the boat didn't seem to hear her.
So the blonde in the car leaned out the window and shouted even louder, "If I could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!" -----------------------
Private First Class D'har Leth
-=Wraith Squad=-
TRP/PFC D'har/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
(BUY MORE URINAL CAKES) |
Raigen
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RE: J0K3S
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June 27, 2006
8:05:10 PM
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Raigen
"welcome to the vastest of empires nabric."
Jack Nebulax
"That's my line, Raigen. Welcome to the Vastest of Empires, pilot."
i thought it was funny -----------------------
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Cadet Second Lieutenant Clary
C/2lt Clary, Model Rocketry Officer, LA932 AFJROTC |
Raigen
ComNet Member
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RE: J0K3S
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June 29, 2006
2:22:12 AM
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i bought batteries but they werent included
i have a map of the world actual size
i bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier.....put em in the same room and let em fight it out
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FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Cadet Second Lieutenant Clary
C/2lt Clary, Model Rocketry Officer, LA932 AFJROTC
[This message has been edited by
Raigen
(edited June 29, 2006
7:37:40 PM)]
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Atrick25
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RE: J0K3S
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June 29, 2006
7:31:44 PM
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What's a mape?
 -----------------------
NazgulSquadron
FM/LCRW Atrick25/Nazgul-10/Phoenix Wing/[mSSD Atrus]/1VENF]/VEN/VE (=A=)
~Leading Crewman Atrick25~
Nerds stick together! (Until Football Players storm us, because then we run like the girly men we are!)
Why does Darth Vader want cookies? |
Rogueboy
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RE: J0K3S
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June 29, 2006
7:36:23 PM
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How can we tell jokes without swearing? it's almost impossible, the only other jokes I know that dont have swearwords are racist and feminist jokes and some people might get offended -----------------------
He will give them death, and they will love him for it -Gladiator
TRP/PFC_Rogueboy/1SQD/1PLT/COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR] |
Raigen
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RE: J0K3S
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June 29, 2006
7:38:42 PM
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well no religion jokes or race jokes! im catholic and gotpissed off at that priest one! -----------------------
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Jack is no longer King!
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
D'har Leth
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RE: J0K3S
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June 30, 2006
9:46:43 PM
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What about jokes that insult every Race, Religion, Group, and Subculture known to humanity?
EDIT: What about Emo people?
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Private First Class D'har Leth
-=Wraith Squad=-
TRP/PFC D'har/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
(BUY MORE URINAL CAKES)
[This message has been edited by
D'har Leth
(edited June 30, 2006
9:47:33 PM)]
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Raigen
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: J0K3S
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June 30, 2006
9:48:50 PM
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emo people....of course....always
to the first question. as long as it insults them equally at the same time -----------------------
Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
Eviscares
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 1, 2006
5:15:24 AM
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okay... you know, being active is great and the jokes thread was a fine idea. But you should think about rules first not invent 'em later. And be forceful in enforcing them. If you don't want jokes that insult minorities you can't tolerate blonde or emo jokes.
Just my 2 cents.
Eviscares -----------------------
Raiders
Iron Horse Squad forever in my heart!
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live I will kill you, if I die you are forgiven".
Such is the Rule of Honor. |
CJ
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 1, 2006
8:45:24 AM
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A guy wanted to prove blondes weren't dumb so he got together a crowd of blondes, red heads & brunets. He randomly picked out a blondie & asked her a question:
2 x 4 (blondie answers "5?")
Then the crowd said "Give her another chance!"
So he asked: 3 x 3 (blondie answers "7?")
Then the crowd said "Give her another chance!'
So he asked: 4 x 2 (blondie answers "8?"
Then the all blondes in the crowd said "Give her another chance!" |
Raigen
ComNet Member
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 1, 2006
10:00:30 AM
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people dont get offended if you make fun of blondes...im a blonde. and i dontr get offended, in fact. i had to take out ye old calculator to get that last joke.
emo people are just funny.
fact is. its not a hate crime to make fun of emo's and blondes.
NEW RULE: NO RACE JOKES OR RELIGION JOKES
and im tired of blonde jokes so if you submit a blonde joke you must also submit an equally funny joke about something else! -----------------------
Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
Sandwich Sam
ComNet Initiate
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 1, 2006
1:18:50 PM
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Here is my thoughts on the subject. Funny people can only be funny if they have to limitations put on them. Along with that, if someone gets offended by something you say then that is their problem and not yours. That is a plain and simple fact. It is a choice to be hurt by something that someone said. Honestly if you can't laugh at yourself then you really shouldn't be telling jokes. -----------------------
DarkDragoons
FTL/SSGT Sandwich Sam/2SQD/1PLT/1CMP/1REG/1BAT/Tadath/VEA [LoR][BM][GS]
Sandwich Sam -- Giver of Life to the HDDs that have crossed over |
Raigen
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 1, 2006
5:53:59 PM
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good point. but some people don't realize that. so for now. lets do non racist non religious jokes.
how bout fat jokes and redneck jokes
as a personal redneck im authorizing the all out insultation of my people go for it...but no blue collar comedy tour jokes be original -----------------------
Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
Sniping101
ComNet Disciple
[VE-ARMY] Gunnery Sergeant
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 2, 2006
5:00:29 AM
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wait! wait! I live in the woods and drive a 4x4! I'll be offended by any redneck jokes. Also, i dress in all black so I *must* be a goth, so those will offend me too.
Either be offended by nothing or everything, but don't start drawing lines, you'll never stop.
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{Comnet Hermit}
TRP/GSG Sniping101/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR][IH][BoA][CDS]
Sit vis vobiscum.
[This message has been edited by
Sniping101
(edited July 2, 2006
5:05:16 AM)]
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Raigen
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 2, 2006
1:11:48 PM
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no....you could be emo! and 4x4's stink unless you need to go offroad! -----------------------
Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
Rogueboy
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 2, 2006
10:16:04 PM
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I have a little Johnny joke,
Little Johnny was sitting in class and the teacher asked, "If you have three birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many birds do you have left?" Little Johnny raises his hand, the teacher picks him. "Zero because the other two flew away." The teacher tells Johnny. "No you would have two but I like the way you think."
Little Johnny was rather mad at the teachers response so he asks her a question. "Miss if you had two women eating ice cream one is licking the ice cream and the other one sucking which one is married?" The teacher thinks about it than says. "The one who is sucking." Little Johnny grins and says. "No the one wearing the ring but I like the way you think." -----------------------
He will give them death, and they will love him for it -Gladiator
TRP/PFC_Rogueboy/1SQD/1PLT/COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR] |
D'har Leth
ComNet Novice
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 2, 2006
10:36:57 PM
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(Here's a Warhammer 40k joke.)
Uncle Bob, the Space Marine
The Scholar Abbot in the Schola Progenium gave his fifth grade class an assignment: tell a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Corvius said, "My father was a farmer on Acheron VII and we had a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the coach when we hit a bump in the road and the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the Scholar Abbot.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Jorun. Tell us your story."
"MY family where farmers too. But we raised grox' for the meat market. We had a dozen grox.eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live grox. And the moral to this story is, don't count your grox before they're hatched."
"That's a fine story Jorun," he continued. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes sir, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle, Veteran Sargent Bob. Uncle Bob was a Space Marine in the 3rd War for Armageddon and his Thunderhawk got hit. He had to crash land in hostile ork territory and all he had was a bottle of fenrisian ale, a bolter and a chainsword. He drank the fenrisian ale on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy with the bolter until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with with the chainsword till the blade broke and then kill the last ten with his bare hands."
"Emperor's Throne," said the Scholar Abbot, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't piss off Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
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Private First Class D'har Leth
-=Wraith Squad=-
TRP/PFC D'har/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
(BUY MORE URINAL CAKES) |
Mandor
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 3, 2006
12:29:24 AM
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I like your joke D'Har, except i have a problem with it. You say he landed in the middle of 100 enemy. Then you say he killed 70 with the bolter, and 70 with the sword. That adds up to 140. Did he kill some twice? -----------------------
TRP/LCP Mandor/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR][BoA] |
Raigen
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 3, 2006
12:52:42 AM
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of course he brought them back to life then killed them again duh! -----------------------
Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
Raigen
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 3, 2006
1:41:49 AM
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im now paying 100 ICs for every good joke
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Raigen vs. Them
---5-----------2---
FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B) |
D'har Leth
ComNet Novice
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 3, 2006
2:02:32 AM
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It says he killed 70 with the bolter, twenty with the sword, and the last ten with his bare hands, which adds up to 100. -----------------------
Private First Class D'har Leth
-=Wraith Squad=-
TRP/PFC D'har/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
{Nothing is true, Everything is permitted} |
Rogueboy
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RE: J0K3Z
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July 3, 2006
8:27:11 AM
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There was a man who was having trouble with his marriage so they went to go see a marriage counselor who recommended that they get an animal, the man decided to get a parrot and went to a pet store. While there he was browsing the aisles and he saw a parrot with no legs and he said to himself. "How is he holding on?"
The parrot responded with. "My penis." "Oh your a talking parrot."
"Not only am I a talking parrot, I also watch sports and news and keep track of stuff." The parrot and the man got into a discussion about sports and before the man knew it an hour had passed. The parrot told the man that since he had no legs the owner would sell him very cheaply, and sure enough the man bought him.
two weeks pass and everyday when he comes home he would have a talk with the parrot about Bush's new screwup or the scores in sports. One day when the man arrived home the parrot shrieked. "Come here I have something important to tell you." The man rushed over confusion clearly etched on his face. "What happened?" "While you were at work the mailman came." The man was relieved. "Thats it?" The parrot shook his head. "No your wife and him started kissing, and than he went for her negligee." The man started freaking out and when he calmed down he asked. "And than what happened?" The Parrot responded. "I dont know, I got a hardon and fell off my perch." -----------------------
He will give them death, and they will love him for it -Gladiator
TRP/PFC_Rogueboy/1SQD/1PLT/COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR] |
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