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Topic:  Where be ye toes?
Linda_Irris
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  Where be ye toes?
July 15, 2005 10:15:57 AM    View the profile of Linda_Irris 
The great Intergalactic House of Pancakes was unusually busy, swarmed with young people who continued to arrive after waking up, clad in bathrobes and bunny slippers.  The bunny slippers were everywhere, as if there was one giant hoarde of evil spawning bunnies.

But enough about that, for now the scene cuts to Joe's "Don't Drink the Water" Tattooine Grill, where our host is located, passed out because of drinking some of the water.  There is a reason they say don't drink the water.  The grill was actually a metal grate welded down over the exhaust port of the old ion engine Lucky 7, which got a meteor stuck in the exhaust and caused the ship it was on to spin out of control and crash on Tattooine.  Here is where Joe brews his famous Sublight Tequila.

A common question asked to patrons of Joe's Grill is "Where be ye toes?" since many patrons often loose a toe or two playing Hydrospanner Revolution.  It's a fun game where drunk patrons pay Joe to let them try to avoid the spinning hydrospanner.  It's played in a large room with a hydrospanner spinning on a drive shaft.  For someone without foot protection or sense, they often loose toes to the dangerous and aptly named "Toe Killer".

And for the Imperial Cadets who are encouraged to keep all their toes, the upstairs cantina is a place to relax and enjoy oneself, with a secret rope leading to the Intergalactic House of Pancakes and a bunch of bunny slippers, just in case.  For visitors of Joe's Grill and the Intergalactic House of Pancakes, remember, it's only fun after you've lost a toe, or had to wear bunny slippers.  Don't forget to try the Wookie Waffles!
 
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It's not a question of wether I think you're life is worth something, it's wether I think your life is worth the cost of recharging my blaster pack after I get done shooting you.


Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because when you're not looking I'll pick up your blaster and shoot you with it. But only if I don't like you!
Cosmic
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 15, 2005 10:56:54 AM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Interesting. Guess it's a story you would expect to hear in a cantina. :P
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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zar mulix
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 15, 2005 12:11:51 AM    View the profile of zar mulix 
um....no comment...let's just leave it at that
 
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Private First Class Zar Mulix
TRP/PFC Zar Mulix/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE [LoR]


"When the big man jumps, the world shakes in terror"- Zar Mulix
"Experience does not exist, nor does it have value, for it is just a word used to describe our past errors."
Linda_Irris
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 15, 2005 8:47:29 PM    View the profile of Linda_Irris 
oh god... I can't believe I posted that... I was just sitting here, and in my mind I was just sorta thinking about stuff like that, and because I was half-asleep I didn't stop myself from typing, so I posted it without thinking.  I'm sorry to anyone who read it.
 
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It's not a question of wether I think you're life is worth something, it's wether I think your life is worth the cost of recharging my blaster pack after I get done shooting you.


Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because when you're not looking I'll pick up your blaster and shoot you with it. But only if I don't like you!
TK-112
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 15, 2005 8:51:19 PM    View the profile of TK-112 
wow
 
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Senior Sergeant David "TK-112"Bowman - Master Chef
-=Lancer Squad=- -=SL=- -=Sunray=-
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Gavyn Kanu
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 16, 2005 9:40:57 AM    View the profile of Gavyn Kanu 
lol!
i wish i could still write good when im half asleep.
 
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"A painless lesson, is one without any meaning. One who does not sacrifice anything, cannot achieive anything."

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Slick
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 16, 2005 11:05:33 AM    View the profile of Slick 
Well... it was different...
 
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TRP/PFC Slick/4SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA[LoR]

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Chui
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 17, 2005 10:42:11 PM    View the profile of Chui 
That's not as bad as the story you wrote at my house a couple of weeks ago.
Linda_Irris
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 18, 2005 9:29:39 PM    View the profile of Linda_Irris 
I told you Chui, that one wasn't my fault... well ok it was, but still... how often do I come up with super intelligent fish trying to take over the planet? huh?
 
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FM/CRW Linda_Irris/Sting6 (2-2)/Wing2/ISD-II Devastator/Offensive/VEN/VE
Kuroishi
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  RE: Where be ye toes?
July 19, 2005 11:35:57 AM    View the profile of Kuroishi 
Some of my best comedic writing happens when I really should be in bed.

May have to see if I can dig Varneck Inheritor Nergal again.  Me and Geist both wrote the best episodes of that after midnight.

No worries.  It was a good chuckle your story there.
 
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Kuroishi Wraith VEA
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