hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 1
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
greetings to the navy
|
|
November 6, 2006
11:47:45 PM
|
|
Hello!
i am hipno650 and i am writing in response to the email i have received regarding posting to tell people who i am.
i am hipno650 and i like to play empire at war and the recently released expansion pack. i am also a computer enthusiast and i co run a small computer business that specializes in high performance gaming computers. and lastly i am a star wars freak! and am most interested in the space combat and fleets of the star wars universe. i have made up my on ships and fleets before.
thank you for allowing me to join the empire! |
Cyleaf Aehait
ComNet Cadet
[VE-NAVY] Chief Petty Officer
Post Number: 207
Total Posts: 349
Joined: Apr 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
5:42:30 PM
|
|
Greetings Hipno, I'm Cyleaf Aehait Operator Lvl 2 for the Vast Empire Naval Academy also called the VENA. My job here is to point you in the right direction to start your training and help you with any questions. I am excited that you chose the Navy, there are many opportunities to progress and grow in the Empire and as a writer.
I have here a couple of addresses that will help you out with starting a promising career.
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Naval_Academy: Is where you can find information about the academy, there are links to the staff, officer's manual and the Pilot Handbook
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29: Is where you learn to create your personality or avatar and how to write with a squad. Chapter 1 has a link Character Development, this will help you create that bio which will be your first task. Place your bio here and all your other hard work you do before becoming a squadron member.
I know this might be a lot of information fast but I have faith that me and the rest of the staff can help you work through it. You can e-mail me at [email protected] or in the message center here. If you have mirc you can also find me in #VENA and #Kaph-Squadron, so pop in and send me a message
Best of luck Hipno and I truly look forward to working with you.
-Cyleaf Aehait
IJust to reiterate all you gotta do now is post a bio in this thread and someone will move you on to the next task.
-----------------------
EFM/CPO/Cyleaf Aehait/Kaph 2-6/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)(=*SA*=)[BWC]
AKA:
TRP/PFC Preditor/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath
[This message has been edited by
Cyleaf Aehait
(edited November 7, 2006
5:42:49 PM)]
|
Trevor Evenson
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer
Post Number: 390
Total Posts: 860
Joined: Aug 2005
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
5:48:25 PM
|
|
hey, I know this guy.... -----------------------
FL/MCPO/Trevor Evenson/Nazgul 9(3-1)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)[VC:B][SWC][LSM]
The VEN`s #1 writer as of ESC `06 |
hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 2
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
5:50:03 PM
|
|
Thank you very much for the warm welcome!!!! I will think of my bio and post back latter. |
hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 3
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
7:45:15 PM
|
|
Here is my boi any input is greatly appreciated.
Name: Hipno650
Race: Mon-Cal
Age: 21
Eyes: Blue and big
Form: large and muscular
Home world: Mon-Cal
Height: 6,5
Weight: 230lbs
Personal features: Scar above left eye, one hand slightly larger than other
Personality: calm and laid back
More about hipno: He is a very good swimmer and excellent mechanic and proficient fighter pilot. He feels at home with an ally and will do whatever it takes to finish the mission.
Hipno was kidnapped along with his mother and brother by a unknown bounty at the age of seven. In the process he resisted and was slashed in the face with the bounty hunters vibroblade; a scar that pains him to this day. He was sold to the hutts and split up form his family (mother killed in front of him and brother forced into the black sun military). The hutts after 3 years of personal slave work sent him the spice mines on kessel on which he stayed for 10 years until making a daring escape along with three friends (a trandosian and two wookies). However there was a conflict as the wookies were in favor of joining the rebellion were as hipno and the trandosian split of to join the empire war machine.
Hipno still waits for the day he can get revenge on the bounty hunter that kidnapped and the hutts that enslaved him however he has devoted his life to the empire but will some day get revenge.
Thanks |
Preditor
ComNet n00b
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 18
Total Posts: 29
Joined: Oct 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
9:11:18 PM
|
|
Ok it's a great start, but I see a couple of things that might make it alot better.
1> Some more depth into his history, it's somewhat vague, what did he do for the hutts in thos three years? He was kidnapped at age 7 so everything that happened after would mold our Mon Calamari friend into who he was today. What happened during those 10 years in the mines? give anything you might feel significant. So basically add a little more to your characters history, it makes the job of someone writting about your character a little easier if they know where he came from and how he got there.
2> What made your character favor the Empire instead of following the Wookies path?
3> You have a personality of calm and laid back, but do you have any flaws? Flaws can make an interesting crutch to write about.
Hope you don't take this wrong, I am just trying to give some constructive critisim. It's an excellent start and I am glad to see the effort.  Keep up the good work.
-----------------------
TRP/PFC Preditor/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath
AKA:
EFM/CPO/Cyleaf Aehait/Kaph 2-6/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)(=*SA*=)[BWC] |
Cyleaf Aehait
ComNet Cadet
[VE-NAVY] Chief Petty Officer
Post Number: 211
Total Posts: 349
Joined: Apr 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
9:12:23 PM
|
|
Crap forgot to switch back, incase you didn't know Preditor is Cyleaf. -----------------------
EFM/CPO/Cyleaf Aehait/Kaph 2-6/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)(=*SA*=)[BWC]
AKA:
TRP/PFC Preditor/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath |
hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 4
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 7, 2006
9:28:44 PM
|
|
thanks for the support i will revise my bio and post back. |
hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 5
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 9, 2006
8:11:41 PM
|
|
updated bio
Name: Hipno650
Race: Mon-Cal
Age: 21
Eyes: Blue and big
Form: large and muscular
Home world: Mon-Cal
Height: 6,5
Weight: 230lbs
Personal features: Scar above left eye, one hand slightly larger than other
Personality: calm and laid back, cool under preasure
Flaws: tends to overthink, also uses bold run and gun tactics
More about hipno: He is a very good swimmer and excellent mechanic and proficient fighter pilot. He feels at home with an ally and will do whatever it takes to finish the mission.
Hipno was kidnapped along with his mother and brother by a unknown bounty at the age of seven. In the process he resisted and was slashed in the face with the bounty hunters vibroblade; a scar that pains him to this day. He was sold to the hutts and split up form his family (mother killed in front of him and brother forced into the black sun military). The hutts after 3 years of personal slave work sent him the spice mines on kessel on which he stayed for 10 years until making a daring escape along with three friends (a trandosian and two wookies). During the escape hipno and his friends slipped abroad and captured the ship in orbit. But there was a problem.....a big one the rebels and the imperials were engaged in a skirmish (1VSD and a carack cruiser taking on a light mon-cal friget and 4 x-wing squads) the vsd and rebals blew past him without a second thought however the carack cruiser had other plans and hipno was forced to put his piloting skills to the test. He successfully used a barrel role to deek out the carack and jumped to hyperspace! However there was a conflict as the wookies were in favor of joining the rebellion were as hipno and the trandosian split of to join the empire war machine.
In those ten years on kessel hipno made may friends and many enemies. One of his friends, a tydarian named kanto taught hipno all he knew about mechanics like how to hot wire droids and make a weapon out of nothing. One of his wookie friends also taught him the basics of hand to hand combat. Another friend a human taught him the basics of piloting but he was unable to gain practical experience.
Hipno still waits for the day he can get revenge on the bounty hunter that kidnapped and the hutts that enslaved him however he has devoted his life to the empire but will some day get revenge. |
Jaden
ComNet Veteran
[VE-NAVY] Chief Warrant Officer
[VE-VEEC] Gaming Division Head
Post Number: 1126
Total Posts: 1963
Joined: Dec 2004
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 9, 2006
8:13:54 PM
|
|
You can do some later revisions, but it passes for now. Move on to Chapter 2 of your pilot procedure.
Job Well done, we haven't had a mon cal for quite a while. -----------------------
Jaden Khaar
NazgulSquadron
Naval Academy Executive Officer
-----------------------------------------------------------
SXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Nazgul 1-2 (Nazgul 2)/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)[GWC]
-----------------------------------------------------------
TXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Venom 1-2 (Venom 2)/Phoenix Wing/Platform Saratoga/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)[GWC] |
hipno650
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 6
Total Posts: 6
Joined: Nov 2006
Status: Offline
|
RE: greetings to the navy
|
|
November 9, 2006
8:17:03 PM
|
|
thanks man i am on to step 2. |
|
