Howdy there, I'm the guy who's ganna be helping you along your wild and unpredictable adventure. Well, everything thas basically the opposite of that really. But I'll be showing you the way, so...
First off- You need not to worry about a bio actually until you are out of Basic Training (BT), although, good initiative I suppose. Now, in order to understand what I'm talking about, I'd like you to go to academy.imperial-navy.com where you can find the academy website. Click on the picture and your in. You'll see a bunch of tabs, put your cursor of the one that says exams and you'll see a bunch of links pop out to the side. Now, your still in BT, but, Flight School (FS) is where'll you'll be going very, very shortly. So, click on the BT link and there you'll find several things to look at, such as the Roster, the Comnet (which you've obviously found, thata boy...), the bank where you can change your password and such... Well, the main point is to become aware of your surroundings and to know where to go if your told to do something. Now then, after you've read through that breif bit, and complied with all it ask, you need to fill out the form at the bottom and send it in. This is your VEBAT which basically tells Sk8 and myself your ready for FS.
SO, since this is kind of like a open the door manuver, I'll just jump right into FS. What is it? Quite simply its us supplying you with the tools you need to keep up with everyone else in the VEN. Remember that when you are writing on a story, this is RPG, and you are only one person... However, you must interact with others, so let me further indulge you.
You started your bio, excellent. This happens to be the main step of FS and like I said, it shows good inititive, so good job jumpin into it. However, theres work to be done my freind, and it goes beyond the simple corrections of grammer and form. Now, as I said before, your are RPG'ing, which means you'll be playing with other people. So, we need to help those people include you, or they get this kind of fear like they'll say something that's not true, which maybe they should for consistency's sake.
Now, you gave a reason kind of for why you joined. Nice. However, you've failed to describe your character completely. What does he look like? Is he fat? Is he muscular? Then once you've got down basic description we urge you to go even deeper with that description. Do they have any really distinguisable marks, such as scars, tatoos or peircings? Really, this is for description and the ability to include you in the story. OR maybe just for the satisfaction of being able to describe you in motion, so that way, people can really become familier with you.
I realize this is getting wordy, so I'll just grit down this last part. You need a personal description. Really, this is even more important than your physical description, it allows others to create conversation with you, do things for you, do things with you ... Whatever. We need to know if your a happy person or a sad person. What really ticks you off? What makes you happy? In short, what makes you tick? So, take this opportunity to really create your character and let others know who it is. We want to know who is being talked about before a name is mentioned. So, try to go the extra mile and make your person recognizable, maybe memorable.
As for you history, bud that's really kind of nonexistant. You say no homeworld, then where did you live? I don't wanna bare so much on you, but people need to understand you and your actions. Where did you get that chance to fly? Who were your parents? What were they like maybe? Obviously the Emperor didn't speak to you personally, so why did you join? Freinds could work the emperor's ways I suppose. Peer Pressure? Really, I'm just lookin for good insight to your character.
Once you've completed this, post it back here and I'll give it a last critiquing. Then its off to the last step and we'll have you in a squadron like... Hotdogs exploding after being nuked for over three minutes? Anyways, welcome to the Navy. The best to you.
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*Flash Was Here...*
CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]