TUCKER
ComNet n00b
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 2
Total Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2005
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bio
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July 11, 2005
11:32:27 PM
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My Character:
Name: Tucker Ruel
Eye Color: gray
Hair Color: blonde
Age: 21
Physical Features: Usually towers over everyone he meets and has deep, penatrating eyes.
History: Born in a large forest on the planet of Fujitsubo. Raised by his grandfather after his parents were killed in a fire. Raised to be a leader and a fighter spent most of his time eather in front of a book or training.
[This message has been edited by
TUCKER
(edited July 11, 2005
11:41:54 PM)]
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Hellra
ComNet Member
[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
[VE-VEEC] Gaming Reporter
Post Number: 321
Total Posts: 3141
Joined: May 2005
Status: Offline
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RE: bio
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July 12, 2005
12:01:06 AM
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Way to short, did you read the bio cosmic created? If not, i suggest you do that. Its at the top of all the topics.... also tell us more your personailty.
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Lance Corporal Hellra
-=Lancer Squad=- -=EL=- -=Blue Technical=-
EL/LCPL Hellra/2SQD/1PLT/1CMP/1REG/1BAT/Tadath/VEA[LoR][ES2C]
[This message has been edited by
Aeos
(edited July 12, 2005
6:03:55 AM)]
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Jack Nebulax
ComNet Disciple
[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
Post Number: 2191
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RE: bio
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July 12, 2005
5:37:42 AM
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Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
Post Number: 3532
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Joined: Sep 2000
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RE: bio
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July 12, 2005
10:25:47 AM
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Your story has potential, but you need to expand on that potential. Look at a few things here: Tell us more about Fujitsubo, it's obviously a new planet, so I'd like to learn a little more about it (what's the climate like there? it's inhabitants? How do they live?). You were raised by your grandfather after your parents died in a fire - elaborate more on that. You were raised to become a leader and fighter - that has an interesting background. Give more detail on that. Alongside all of this, make sure you either add your character's personality in the post or in a seperate paragraph.
Potential is good though. -----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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zar mulix
ComNet Cadet
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RE: bio
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July 12, 2005
6:00:42 PM
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hmmmm... adn you might want to add a real life experience or something to show more of your character and how the character's past will reflect on reactions in certain situations -----------------------
Private First Class Zar Mulix
TRP/PFC Zar Mulix/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE [LoR]
"When the big man jumps, the world shakes in terror"- Zar Mulix
"Experience does not exist, nor does it have value, for it is just a word used to describe our past errors."
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TUCKER
ComNet n00b
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
Post Number: 3
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Joined: Jul 2005
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RE: bio
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July 13, 2005
12:25:22 AM
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thanks for the help im one of the worst writers in the world so every thing helps |
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Disciple
[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
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RE: bio
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July 13, 2005
6:12:34 AM
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Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
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RE: bio
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July 13, 2005
11:00:06 AM
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Then you'll actually benefit from this club then. 
A lot of people here, including myself, have become better writers (learning the English grammar/syntax, etc.). Because we are continuously writing, we get constant practice and constructive criticism.
It helps. -----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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