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Topic:  Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
Cosmic
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Cosmic
 
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  Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 5:20:34 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Physical Appearance

Native Language: Basic
Hair Color: Silver/Very Light Gray
Eye Color: Ruby Red
Skin Color: White (with a slight tan)
Height: 6'
Weight: 150 lbs
Age: 25
Full Name: Cleric Vor'soth
Physical Build: Well-built/Well-formed (Muscular)
Homeworld: Aefao


Talents/Skills

1)    Greatly excelled in the martial arts (especially in  unarmed combat)
  1A) Has trained in dozens of different styles throughout the years, but has the most experience in T'Dayrah'Yu (Tah-Day-Rah-You), an art that focuses on one-to-two-hit death strikes (an art found only on Aefao)
  1B) Is especially keen with pole arms - halberds in particular
2)    Understands (but cannot speak) Huttese


Background History

I was only eleven when they came, but I remember it as if it had happened yesterday. We couldn't see them, but their Imperial Star Destroyer two's (ISD II) were looming over our heads. They had not yet deployed their ground forces, and my people were already wishing for death. I watched them fall from the sky... the dozens of troop transports swiftly descended upon us, and we couldn't do a damn thing about it; we were too ill-prepared and an infant in comparison to their technology. Our sticks and farming equipment were no match for E-11 Blaster Rifles, and they quickly overran our small village.

My nose was pressed up against the clear glass of the window I was staring out of from inside our house. I felt a small hand tug at my thin tunic and I looked down - it was six-year-old Vyrn, and tears had swelled up in her tiny cute eyes. I knelt down and pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her small form.

"What's going to happen to us?" she asked through sobs.

I stepped back and brushed her long blonde bangs away from her face, "It's going to be ok, Vyrnie," I whispered. "No one is going to hurt you or take you away."

She wiped her eyes with a closed fist as she looked up at me, "You promise?"

I smiled and gave her a hug, "I promise, Vynie... I promise."

She gave me a toothy grin and ran back to her friends that were huddled in a corner. I slowly rose to my feet and looked out the window again.

Dammit!

A squad of Stormtroopers were making their way to our house. I quickly grabbed a nearby broomstick and fled out the front door. The squad stopped fifteen feet away from our house, and all I heard was laughter. I didn't care - I wasn't about to let them ravage through our home and take away my closest friends.

"Back off!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I ran up to them and held my broomstick firmly in my hands. They created a circle around me and continued their laughter.

"I know why you're here." I said.

Their laughter slowly came to a stop and the squad leader took a few steps forward, his arms crossed over his breastplate, "Yeah? Then why we here kid?"

"You want our T'Dayrah'Yu art."

The squad leader chuckled and nodded slightly to the rest of his squad, "Smart kid, but what's a broomstick going to do about it?"

"I'll show you..."

I hurled my broomstick at him and leapt into the air. The broomstick was just enough of a distraction to prevent him from paying attention to me, and I executed a L'Dari (Leh-Dahr-Ree) strike to his throat. He fell to his knees and I was pinned down by two Stormtroopers. The squad leader slumped to the ground after a few seconds and didn't move a muscle. One of the Stormtroopers had medical training and quickly knelt down beside him, removed his helmet, and checked his pulse.

"He's... He's dead." He looked over at me and motioned to someplace behind us. "Take him back to the transport."

One of the Stormtroopers that had me pinned hoisted me over his left shoulder and began walking back towards their transport. I looked up and watched my house slowly grow smaller... then I saw Vyrnie... she had her nose pressed up against the window - she was crying.

At least she was safe.

---------------------------------

Seven years later, I found myself wearing that same white armor that was worn when those invaders overran my homeworld. I was a Private, but that was enough to allow me access into the archives to see what had happened on Aefao. Apparently, the Empire knew of the powerful art of T'Dayrah'Yu, and wanted to train its most elite soldiers with this art of war. The various squads that were dropped onto Aefao soil were sent to capture the T'Dayrah'Yu masters. Little did they know, Aefao only had three masters, and two of the three were actually captured. Like true T'Dayrah'Yu warriors, they did not spill their secrets of their art during the interrogations, and they were eventually killed. The Empire knew that if they couldn't have the death-strikes, no one would. Everyone on the planet was spared - the Imperials only wanted the masters, so I figured Vyrn had survived and was now living a fruitful and happy life.

Over the past seven years, I began changing. Through all of those hours in the interrogation rooms, the torture droids, and the constant mockery from the crew, I began to learn how to "ignore" them - I was able to drown out their laughter. The torture and interrogations were still physically excruciating, but I knew that it wouldn't be long before they just gave up... I could feel myself changing into a different person... a very different person, and it scared me. Eventually, I realized that if armies of rebels couldn't defeat an Empire, how could a single person even hope to cause dent? "It's better to wield the sword than have your head decapitated from it" became my reason for joining them.

The mockery didn't stop even after I joined their ranks. I continued to ignore them and go about my business. Over time, the laughter stopped and I was finally at peace in that respect. I was angry at myself for had becoming a different - more sinister - individual. The thought that I had betrayed my friends by joining the same force that had struck fear into their hearts never stopped eating at me - perhaps it never will. There is only one comfort that I draw from, and that is the fact that little Vyrn was still alive.

I never wanted to return to Aefao for fear that Vyrnie would see me and not recognize me anymore. The eleven-year old boy she knew was taken away that day, seven years ago, and as far as she knew, I was dead.

I love her too much to let her see what I have become.

-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited July 11, 2005 5:50:24 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited November 4, 2006 8:33:50 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited November 4, 2006 8:36:53 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited November 4, 2006 8:40:44 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited November 4, 2006 8:42:46 PM)]
Hellra
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 5:47:17 PM    View the profile of Hellra 
Wow...
I love your bio, its really deep, did you develop it over the years you were here?.
nevermind, still wow.
 
-----------------------
Lance Corporal Hellra
-=Lancer Squad=- -=EL=- -=Blue Technical=-
EL/LCPL Hellra/2SQD/1PLT/1CMP/1REG/1BAT/Tadath/VEA[LoR][ES2C]
Cosmic
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Cosmic
 
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 5:53:39 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Umm... Started making it last night actually. I just got the final "inspiriation" today, and finished it.

Also, let me point out one thing: The bio I created was written in a style called first-person. This style is actually a lot harder than it looks, so I do not suggest writing it it. I suggest writing in the third-person (ie: Cosmic walked over to a nearby window and slid his fingers down the cold glass).

For writing purposes (squad stories, etc.), write in the third person. I wrote in the first-person because it is a challenge. I proof-read this bio about 6-7 times (read it 5-6 times out loud). It takes a lot of work and fine detail in order to write in first-person.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
Darr-Rann
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 5:58:02 PM    View the profile of Darr-Rann 
Good job on the Biography. I plan to have mine done soon after im back from leave (and I mean my good bio, not the little one I have right now.(
 
-----------------------
-=Lancer Squad=-
TRP/:LCPL Darr-Rann/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath [LoR]

LANCE CORPRAL
www.Darr-Rann.cjb.net
The Vast Empire Medic. (As far as I know, Im the only one)
DJ234
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 6:01:34 PM    View the profile of DJ234 
Its really good Cos it has an in-depth discription of your characters life i give it an A++
 
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Die now and get a free T-shirt

----------------------
FL/PO2 DJ234/Nazgul 9/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=SA=) [VC:B]
Gaming Reporter/G-Rep DJ234/G-Reporter: 3/Gaming Division/VE/VET
zar mulix
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 8:42:18 PM    View the profile of zar mulix 
I give it more than that, really incredible bio really...im speechless
 
-----------------------
Private First Class Zar Mulix
TRP/PFC Zar Mulix/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE [LoR]


"When the big man jumps, the world shakes in terror"- Zar Mulix
"Experience does not exist, nor does it have value, for it is just a word used to describe our past errors."
Cosmic
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 11, 2005 9:23:09 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Thanks guys.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
Jack Nebulax
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 12, 2005 5:52:28 AM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ x1,000,000,000,000 etc.

I'm going to revise my bio a little bit soon, but there is no way it could reach the greatness of Cosmic's.
 
-----------------------
Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

------------------------------------------------------------
Senior Chief Petty Officer and Reporter Jack Nebulax (*Formerly and No-Longer a ComNet Spammer*), Imperial Navy and VE Today Staff, Vast Empire.
XO/FL/SCPO Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 5 (2-1)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:S]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
------------------------------------------------------------
Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Hunter Emnis
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 12, 2005 6:37:18 AM    View the profile of Hunter Emnis 
WOW.... That is really great.... That would be a model bio, that was some inspiration.. I got to go do mine now.
 
-----------------------
HUnter EMnis

"Combine self-hate with pride,
a leader with a follower,
seriousness with immaturity,
smartness with idiocy,
merciful with relentlessness,
a friend with an enemy.
Combine two opposites,
and in the middle,
Yillis
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 12, 2005 9:42:26 AM    View the profile of Yillis 
so cosmic how much is T'Dayrah'Yu class
 
-----------------------
Lance Corporal Yillis
-=Lancer Squad=- -=ASL=- -=Moonbeam=-
ASL/LCPL Yillis/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath [LoR] [WM]

zhannik
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 12:39:43 AM    View the profile of zhannik 
Sweet biography, Cosmic.  I like it.
 
-----------------------
-Alexi "Zhannik" Schoultz
Stormtrooper, Imperial Army,
Loved By Yillis,
Wit, Superior Intellect, and follower of Cosmic
Raiders Rule!
TRP/PFC zhannik/3SQD/2PLT/1COM/1BAT/1REG/TAD/VEA(LoR)
Angel
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 1:21:21 PM    View the profile of Angel 
meh, its alright.

There are a lot better ones.
 
-----------------------
Senior Sergeant Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi
=[Arrogant Elitist]=
AS-2/ASL/SSG Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi/Iron Horse Squad/WildCard/Phoenix/Dragon/ Osiris/Army/VE [LoR] [RoM] [BC] [CDS] [WM] [GRoM] {BoA}
------------------------
The Angel of Death
CM/DJK Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi/Eagle 1-1/Sith/VEDJ/VE/Lopen [VP:1]
------------------------
He who sheds man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God..
Jack Nebulax
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 1:26:39 PM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
Maybe you think so, Angel, but Cosmic's rocks. Who do you think has a better bio than him? And don't say you.
 
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Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

------------------------------------------------------------
Senior Chief Petty Officer and Reporter Jack Nebulax (*Formerly and No-Longer a ComNet Spammer*), Imperial Navy and VE Today Staff, Vast Empire.
XO/FL/SCPO Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 5 (2-1)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:S]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
------------------------------------------------------------
Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Angel
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 1:44:00 PM    View the profile of Angel 
/me ppfts

You have such an educated and experienced opinion...idiot.

Raziel's is one of. if not the, best I've read. And not the one I have posted. My full length biography, which I need to get back to working on, kicks ass.
 
-----------------------
Senior Sergeant Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi
=[Arrogant Elitist]=
AS-2/ASL/SSG Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi/Iron Horse Squad/WildCard/Phoenix/Dragon/ Osiris/Army/VE [LoR] [RoM] [BC] [CDS] [WM] [GRoM] {BoA}
------------------------
The Angel of Death
CM/DJK Jikkyo "Angel" Nimiichi/Eagle 1-1/Sith/VEDJ/VE/Lopen [VP:1]
------------------------
He who sheds man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God..
Cosmic
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 4:47:37 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Well, yeah, my bio is going to be looked down upon as being a second-rate bio because it's only 2 1/2 pages. Raziel's your your bio's are over 10. They're more detailed. I'm using this as an example.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
Japheth
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
July 13, 2005 5:15:52 PM    View the profile of Japheth 
I think for reference purposes 2-3 pages is adequate. It is my opinion that the primary function of a bio is to serve as a primary reference for other people to be writing about your character. To that end it should be relativly brief and contain a lot of easy-to-access information that is relevent. 10+ page bios are very detailed and contain a fantastic amount of info about the character, but should probably still be summerized somewhere in order to provide the above mentioned easy access of info.
 
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Admiral Japheth Cappadocious, Krath Templar
Naval Commander in Chief, Captain of the mSSD Atrus
Headmaster of the Dark Jedi Order Academy
-----------------------
NCC/ADM Japheth Cappadocious/NHC-1/Alpha 1/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=MA=)(=SCPA=)(=FCO=)[BRC][LSM][MC:1][KC:OC][IGC][MoH]
HM/KT Japheth Cappadocious/DC-3/Krath Order/Elite Griffen Sect/VEDJ/VE/[SoY][EoP]
jessevb
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
February 22, 2006 3:57:05 PM    View the profile of jessevb 
yo cosmic that bio kiks ass n u r cool keep up the good work
Anakan Skyrunner
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
March 8, 2006 11:16:05 PM    View the profile of Anakan Skyrunner 
[edit: If you don't like it, write something better to show him up. If those words are too big, "Put up or shut up."]
[This message has been edited by Talon (edited March 9, 2006 12:00:27 AM)]
Leon
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
April 16, 2006 4:19:08 PM    View the profile of Leon 
Man i think its good its so good that it just inspired me to start creating my bio now!!!
Gunnay
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
April 18, 2006 1:31:19 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
Nice Cosmic, I like your style, I haven't written anything in just first person since... well, a long time.
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
Cosmic
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  RE: Cosmic's Bio - Used also as an example
April 18, 2006 4:15:44 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Thanks. I don't like writing in 1st person, though. It's too hard to write in in our storylines (my opinion), and it takes a lot of skill to pull off successfully.
 
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
-----------------------
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