um..im not good at this stuff so dont blame me if its horrible but i did my best so tell me if anythings wrong so i can fix it thanx

Name: unknown known only as Zar Mulix
Birth Place: Coruscant
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Age:23
About 6'0 200lbs

Zar Mulix was basically a loner who liked to avoid problems. Parents unknown taken in by random family and joined the Imperial Army as a stormtrooper. Proficient in arms he felt he was never appreciated and felt the empire was wrong after being forced to kill one of his relatives on a mission to destroy a rebel base. Upon a trip to Correlia, he took all of his things and hid on the planet. He was searched for for a short time, but eventually the empire didnt care and abandoned the search. Zar Mulix met many thugs and gangsters and joined them hoping to make money to support himself. He became both a bodyguard and bounty hunter, but not a very good one. But he saved up money and bought an old used jedi starfighter (the old model with the tiefighter-like cockpit) that was about to be thrown out. Zar Mulix searched the galaxy for someplace to settle.About 4 years later He eventually found the temple being set up by Luke Skywalker who was searching for new pupils. Zar Mulix decided to try it out but thought it was too hard and pointless. Now that he didn't find anyone he knew he felt lonely and lost. He met up with some remnant troops and decided his original choice was the way to go. He became a stormtrooper again but also made visits to Correlia to take bountys. Making money from the bountys he bought himself etter weapons and armor, and enhanced his starfighter with new wapons and parts. He did this all in preperation to start a new life where he would not be disturbed.

Good story, and yes, remove the "Luke Skywalker and the Temple" bit of the story. Not anyone can just "become a Jedi". Only those who are Force-sensitive. In order to become Force-sensitive in this club, you must be "discovered" by one of the members of the Dark Jedi Order's Dark Council.

Fix up the grammar and repost the bio. After I have another look at it (and approve it), I'll send you off to an active-duty squad.

Good job thus far.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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heres my revised bio hope its better


Name: unknown known only as Zar Mulix
Birth Place: Coruscant
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Age:23
About 6'0 200lbs

Zar Mulix was basically a loner who liked to avoid problems. Parents were unknown but he was found by and taken in by a family and joined the Imperial Army as a stormtrooper. Proficient in arms, he felt he was never appreciated. He rose ranks rapidly but didn't feel satisfied with his job. He didn't like feeling bossed around by the empire. He was okay with taking orders, but felt he needed some more freedom. He heard about many people looking for bounty hunters and he considered it. He was pushed over the edge when he was forced to kill a relative during a raid on his base. Upon a trip to Corellia, he took all of his things and hid on the planet. He was searched for, but eventually the empire didnt care and abandoned the search. Zar Mulix met many thugs and gangsters and joined them hoping to make money to support himself. He became both a bodyguard and bounty hunter, but not a very good one. He stored his armor hoping to never use it again, and instead wore some light armor underneath some robes he used to own, giving him a mysterious menacing look. Some even mistook him for a jedi. Zar Mulix avoided conflict as much as he could but was sometimes faced with dangrous situations. At one point his right forearm was slashed open by a vibroaxe. He still has that scar. Angered by his wound he decided to stop taking many of the jobs and thus made less money. But still, he managed to save up money and bought an old used jedi starfighter (the old model with the tiefighter-like cockpit) that was about to be thrown out. Zar Mulix searched the galaxy for someplace to settle. Through this time period he started training alone and raising his skills. He learned how to use a vibroaxe and he became more demanding of himself and his skills. He now ran into battles he sometimes encountered instead of running. He met up with some remnant troops and decided his original choice was the way to go. He became a stormtrooper again but also made visits to Corellia to take bountys. Making money from the bountys he bought himself better weapons and armor, and enhanced his starfighter with new wapons and parts. Zar Mulix did this hoping to start a new life and to be free and an independent person, not relying on others for jobs, missions, and money.

Yeah, because TIE stands for something and im the only person that knows it. 
 
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-=Lancer Squad=-
TRP/PFC Vint/2SQD/2PLT/1COM/1RGT/1BAT/VEA/VE/Tadath

hey vint tie is twin ion engine
 
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Fear Leads to Anger, Anger Leads to Hate, Hate Leads to, SUCKING IT !!
(a quote from Ratty of X-Play)
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Petty Officer 1st Class EarthJedi01 / E-Mail Me at [email protected]
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FM/PO1_Earthjedi01/Kaph-Flight2/PhoenixWing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=) (=*SA*=)
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G-Rep/G-Rep Earthjedi01/G-Rep: 5/Gaming Division/VE/VET
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Wm/Rep Earthjedi01/WM:2/Webmasters/VET/VE

Good. You'll be placed in a squad shortly.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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