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Topic:  Bio for dredj
dredj
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dredj
 
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  Bio for dredj
April 14, 2006 1:12:47 PM    View the profile of dredj 
Name: Blake Hymel        Callsign: dredj              Race:  Human                  Height: 6'0                    Skin Color: Tan              Eye Color: Brown          Place of Birth: Taris
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 14, 2006 3:43:33 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
READ THIS MESSAGE PLEASE:


On behalf of Lieutenant Commander Shazam, the Training Officer (I am his Adjutant and will help you as well):

"Howdy- I'm the training officer and thus: your trainer.  I suppose the first thing I should do is welcome you to the VEN.  Once you are through training you'll be put into a squadron and put into active duty- for now, you'll have to do about a weeks worth of training.  If that sounds okay to you- keep reading.

The first thing you need to do is get a bio up for your character.  Since you are a part of the VEN, your character must be a pilot by default- who they are, why they are the way they are and all their history and such is totally up to you.  For a run through of what we need to see in that bio, go to the link below and find chapter 1 entitled "Character Developement."

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29

Once you are done with your bio, simply post it here and I'll critique it real quick; once both you and I are satisfied, you'll be on to the next task.  There are three chapters in all and one final exam, all of which are not that tough and can be done pretty easilly if you just take your time on the VE for one day on each.  That means you'd be done in four-five days.

Remember to keep absolutely everythin in training in this post- any questions, comments or concerns, just write it here unless of course you don't want it to become public to everyone else.  In that case, you may simply message me by use of 'the message center' as you can see in the upper-left hand corner of your page. 

If you do not post your things here or do not message me about it- chances are, it will never be seen.  So please, I stress this, post them here.  Thankyou- the best to you.

Welcome to the VEN."

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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
[This message has been edited by Gunnay (edited April 14, 2006 3:44:28 PM)]
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 14, 2006 9:50:09 PM    View the profile of dredj 
Bio: Name: Blake Hymel       
Callsign: dredj             
Race:  Human                 
Height: 6'0                   
Skin Color: Tan           
Eye Color: Brown         
Place of Birth: Taris


Physical Features: Athleitc body, physically strong and metally strong. Has brown hair swept to the side that has a feathed to it. He has a scar going vertically down his right eye.


History: Dredj was born on Taris, which soon came under the controlo of the imperial fleet, he immediatley enlisted because of the power he saw the empire wield against it's foes. He was raised by a wealthy family, and loved using his power to help himslef and things he was loyal to get what they want. He enjoyed the thought of joining the empire so when the time arose he did.

He is currently in-training and will soon graduate and become a full fledged member of the Imperial Navy.
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 14, 2006 11:26:45 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
Your bio is very vague.  Take a look at a couple others on this part of the ComNet and see what they did.  Mine or Shiric's would make good examples of solid biographies.  There are a bunch of good ones here, I just can't think of any off the top of my head.  The bios go more in depth and give people a better understanding of his or her character.
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
Shazam
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Shazam
 
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 15, 2006 3:40:30 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Well, lets look at it this way- say you are someone trying to make their character interact with Dredge using the bio you've provided.  How well do you think they'd do?

Our point is this- in order to write cohesively, you need to allow people information so they can write accurately but still explore both your character and theirs.  So- what's that mean?

Sheer power made your character interested in the Navy?  Would you say that he is obsessed with power?  Does it blind him?  Or maybe he has some kind of hero disfunction where he feels he needs to prove something?  Does this all ballance out the fact he's putting his life at risk?  Does he really beleive in the empire or is this just a way to get to the top?  Those are just questions to make you think about your character and his intentions.  For a moment, pretend you are your Dredge and think to yourself- is this complete or does it just seem kind of jumbled?

Also- how does your character act?  Is he happy, sad?  Receptive or exclusive?  Does he get angry easy and does he have a temper registered to particular offenses like slupring or just being incompetant in general?  The emotional part of the bio is absolutely necessary and so is a History.  The history part I think is a little vague because you just didn't really say anything besides he was from Taris (which I wasn't sure still existed or not) and that he was obsessed with power.  Why?  Who werer his parents?  Did they bring him up under the influence of imperial rule or what?  I think all of these questions can be answered with a good history, or atleast for the most part lead you to the right course. 

With all that in mind, let me know if you have any questions, comments or concerns.  I am here to help.

Make sure that you post all of your training in this post now- I don't want to be switching in between two all the time.  Stay here.  If you post outside of it, I may never see your work- thanks for takin the time to listen.  Rock On.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
dredj
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dredj
 
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 15, 2006 5:13:28 PM    View the profile of dredj 
Bio: Name: Blake Hymel       
Callsign: dredj             
Race:  Human                 
Height: 6'0                   
Skin Color: Tan           
Eye Color: Brown         
Place of Birth: Taris


Physical Features: Athleitc body, physically strong and metally strong. Has brown hair swept to the side that has a feathed to it. He has a scar going vertically down his right eye. He has a cheery disposition and never gives, even if the situation looks hopeless. Man people see him as  a role model that they would like to be like. Many know him for his knowledgeable and defined comments on multiple subjects.

History: Dredj was born on Taris, which soon came under the controlo of the imperial fleet, he immediatley enlisted because of the power he saw the empire wield against it's foes. He was raised by a wealthy family, and loved using his power to help himslef and things he was loyal to get what they want. He enjoyed the thought of joining the empire so when the time arose he did. He is currently in-training and will soon graduate and become a full fledged member of the Imperial Navy. He hopes to show everyone that he is a strong soldier and can stand alone, but at the same time will need the help of his fellow pilots and soliders to help him in situations he cannot handle.

Dredj has a tendency to sometimes get too involved in the moment and in what he is doing and will lose thougfht of what is going on around him. This is his fatal flaw that will one day drive him to his grave, but for the time being he is dedicated and loyal to the Imperial Navy. He awaits further orders from HQ, before he makes his next move. He is willing to serve, to live and to die for the imperial navy's cause.


 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 15, 2006 6:50:37 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
Okay, I don't think you are quite understanding what we are talking about.  What you have told us in your bio is:
-Your character is cheery
-He wanted to be part of the Empire because of power
-Sometimes gets too "into the moment"
-He is dedicated and loyal

It will be very hard to work with your character if that is all people know about you.  It takes time (in this case, words) to show what your character is about.  The more you can write about him, the better idea we can get of him.  There are also a few grammatical errors, but let's stick to substance right now.

Shazam is more of an expert on this so you should wait until he replies before trying again unless he feels this is adequate.
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
Shazam
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 17, 2006 12:16:24 AM    View the profile of Shazam 
He is correct- in order for people to know how to write about your character they need to see a little more.  For instance- it is power that would drive you to risk your life for the empire?  We're talkin about someone's life here!  "I get a little respect, so why not?"  If that is why- you might consider your character arrogent.  If that is the case- say it.  That's all we're trying to get across- I can hold you back, but I'd prefer not to.  What I think you're doing is trying to make your character into a super hero but give him one flaw so that it doesn't look that way- don't be afraid to make them more complex.  You have plenty of time to understand your character and your ideas as you write later on.  Let us know when you've made another edit and if you have any further questions, comments or concerns.  Thanks.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 20, 2006 11:01:50 AM    View the profile of dredj 
Bio: Name: Blake Hymel       
Callsign: Dredj             
Race:  Human                 
Height: 6'0                   
Skin Color: Tan           
Eye Color: Brown         
Place of Birth: Taris


Physical Features: Athleitc body, physically strong and mentally strong. Has brown hair swept to the side that has a feathed to it. He has a scar going vertically down his right eye. He has a cheery disposition, even if the scene looks grim he can bring a sense of hope and life to things. Even if the situation looks hopeless he will contemplate with others what they think of the situation and help formulate a plan to get them out of a bad situation. Many people see him as a good person, but also has a dark side that only shows when he is under stressful situations. Many know him for his knowledgeable and defined comments on multiple subjects and his indomitable will on the battle field. He knows that no soldier can win a war by himself, so he has to rely on the strength of his comrades. He can sometime cower in fear if the enemy numbers become too great. He has never yet encountered a force that big, and never wishes to.

History: Dredj was born on Taris, which soon came under the control of the imperial fleet, he immediately enlisted because of the power he saw the empire wield against its foes. He was raised by a wealthy family, and loved using his power to help himself and things he was loyal to get what they want. He enjoyed the thought of joining the empire so when the time arose he did. He is currently in-training and will soon graduate and become a full fledged member of the Imperial Navy. He hopes to show everyone that he is a strong soldier and can stand alone, but at the same time will need the help of his fellow pilots and soldiers to help him in situations he cannot handle. He has a strong lust for power which gets him into trouble a lot, because he will venture off by himself to get it, even though it is against orders. He knows he is no hero, but is willing to do anything for power. He hates to be the last person to do something. He is always willing do impress his superiors, but his head strong personality and ignorance will get the best of him.

Dredj has a tendency to sometimes get too involved in the moment and in what he is doing and will lose thought of what is going on around him. This is his fatal flaw that will one day drive him to his grave, but for the time being he is dedicated and loyal to the Imperial Navy. He awaits further orders from HQ, before he makes his next move. He is willing to serve, to live and to die for the imperial navy's cause. He is very optimistic and sometimes very ambitious. He has trouble controlling himself sometimes, but is getting better at it.

is this better?
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Zharyn
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 20, 2006 11:25:47 AM    View the profile of Zharyn 
Much better, I'd just check for grammar and spelling and that stuff, and maybe make the history part a little more "in-depth" if you will.  Keep up the good work.
 
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~Zharyn~
Shazam
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 22, 2006 2:30:05 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Yup- lookin good; you can move on to the next chapter if you'd like- it's pretty self-explanatory, but if you have any questions or problems, you let me know, man.  Thanks for being so patient- I'm kind of having to run through these, but hopefully I'm getting the job done- thanks.  Rock On.  (Remember to post those here )

-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
[This message has been edited by Shazam (edited April 22, 2006 2:43:44 PM)]
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 22, 2006 3:26:07 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
Yeah, that is a lot better, good job!
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 23, 2006 10:49:24 PM    View the profile of dredj 
sorry if this sounds dumb, but what do I do next
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 24, 2006 10:59:14 AM    View the profile of Gunnay 
Go on to the next Chapter in the Flight School thing, I believe it's Chapter 2.  Your assignment is to explain two maneuvers that you can do, ie Barrell Roll, Immelman, High Speed Yo Yo etc
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
Shazam
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 24, 2006 5:23:13 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Yep- that chapter can be found under the Flight School page at the beginning of the thread- I'd get it but I'm flyin right now

Make sure you post it here- we'll critique it quick and get you through to the final sorte.  Rock On.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 8:48:40 AM    View the profile of dredj 
i am sorry i still don't understand
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 12:07:50 AM    View the profile of Gunnay 
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Pilot_Procedure

The last paragraph of the page contains the assignment.  It has a big, bold heading that says "Assignment".
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 3:40:23 PM    View the profile of dredj 
Defensive Maneuver

The Barrel Roll: This maneuver is used to throw off an attack and or reverse a situation. The aircraft makes a sharp pull upward and forces the attacker to come around so that the defending plane can perform a spiral to avoid any shots fired at him and next closes in behind his attack while he is still in the process of completing the turn. This maneuver is very chancy sometimes the attacker won't fall for the trick and slow his pitch down and pull back and prepare for another attack or turn the other direction and continue his pursuit. When used for defensive purposes the pilot will use this maneuver to force his attacker to overshoot him and pass him up. Either way this aerial stunt is a fairly decent maneuver and can put you in a winning situation.

Offensive Maneuver

The High Speed Yo-Yo: This quick position changing maneuver can quickly turn the tide in a fight towards your favor. To perform this maneuver you must first pull up and make sure the attacking ship behind you breaks hard so that you can get him into a position that only you can reverse. After he breaks hard slow down and allow him to pass and then quickly speed up and catch him. This maneuver is perfect to shake and roast your opponent in a barrage of firepower that he can't get away from. For offensive purposes make him seem like you can't shake him and make him cocky and when he starts making careless mistakes reverse the situation and pound him.


how is that!
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 3:43:58 PM    View the profile of dredj 
Sorry it's the Low Speed Yo-Yo
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Shazam
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 4:57:45 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Alright- your top one looked alright but I want you to understand it a little more.  By spinning your craft, you bleed of speed and thus, altitude unless you choose to fight it.  How you get behind that craft is through a lot of energy bleeding while that guy behind you speeds up, thus overshooting you.  I think you get that, but I thought I'd redefine it for better understanding- hopefully it was better

As for your version of the low-yo-yo...  Dude, I couldn't decipher that at all, lol.  The point of a low-speed yo-yo is to decrease the distance between you in your target by diving into that person's turn, (while doing so you would pick up speed), then pulling up behind them.  It might increase your AoT (area off of tail, or the distance around the axial point in the center of the enemy craft), but atleast your close and probably in guns range.  Did you get any of that or should I go on?  Lemme know.

I wanna do this again though- I'm not quite satisfied.  That's not saying you did a bad job necessarilly, it just means you need to work on your own understanding and giving that description to others.  So- I'd like you to give me a breif on both the Immel-man and the Split-S and tell me how they are related.  I want you to take your time on explaining them and make sure they are gramattically correct and run together well.  Post them here when you are ready- thanks. 
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
Gunnay
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  RE: Bio for dredj
April 25, 2006 5:48:19 PM    View the profile of Gunnay 
I know what he was saying, but it wasn't quite correct
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)
Raigen
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  RE: Bio for dredj
June 23, 2006 9:27:43 PM    View the profile of Raigen 
I wasnt rquired to now flight maneuvers?
then again my character was a pilot for 5 years prior.
 
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Supreme White Knight of the Reply
-----------------------------------------------------------

FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
dredj
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  RE: Bio for dredj
November 12, 2006 12:03:24 AM    View the profile of dredj 
Hey! Sry i been away for a long time. So any way here is my report on the Immel-man and the Split-S aerial maneuvers.

Immel-man: This manuever is used to increase altitude and also to reverse your direction. Niether offensive nor defense the Immel-man is a fast paced aerial manuever. To perfor m this manuever, one is to Pitch the nose up and ascend. This not only gives your vehicle a boost of speed but can allow you to reverse your direction and double back for a secondary attack or a hasty retreat. This manuever is recommended for aircraft with low -thrust which allows them to turn easier and with less resistance. This manuever can get you really high really fast, so in case you need to get toward your captial ship in a hurry. This manuever can also be performed by Modern High thrust aircraft because hey are able to pitch faster and gain more speed.

The Split-S: This manuever can be used in-case that you want to disengage an opponent, make sure that you have alot of vertical airspace because to perform the S you will need to make a high speed pitch upward so that your craft doesn't crash.The split-S has the advantage of providing a quick burst of speed. Additionally, rolling while inverted adds alot more lift to the aircraft and gives a nice boost of speed by increasing the force of acceleration on the downward turn.Starting a split-S from low altitude, or maintaining too much speed during the dive, can prevent the aircraft from pulling out of the dive. This manuever is good to use when you want to retreat from overwhelming dogfight  because it allows you to go a different direction really fast and will throw an attacker.

These 2 manuevers are related because they can both get a quick boost of speed and a can give effective misdirection at a hostile aircraft. It will also get you were you would like to be in a short ammount of time.

So how is that for research.
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE
Jaden
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  RE: Bio for dredj
November 12, 2006 7:21:13 PM    View the profile of Jaden 
Alright, you've passed your Chapter 2.  We've excluded Chapter 3 for now, so I'm placing you in a squadron.  You've been assigned to Kaph Squadron.

You can find their topic under the Naval Main Board, Kaph Squadron topic.

Good luck, and keep up the good work.
 
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Jaden Khaar
NazgulSquadron
Naval Academy Executive Officer
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SXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Nazgul 1-2 (Nazgul 2)/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)[GWC]
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TXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Venom 1-2 (Venom 2)/Phoenix Wing/Platform Saratoga/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)[GWC]
dredj
ComNet n00b
 
dredj
 
[VE-NAVY] Leading Crewman
 
Post Number:  21
Total Posts:  64
Joined:  Apr 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio for dredj
November 12, 2006 7:36:57 PM    View the profile of dredj 
so i have to change my signature on my profile huh. What would i change it to.
 
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TRN/CRW dredj/Flight School/Naval Academy/Nebulon-B Frigate Perseverance/VENA/VEN/VE

Sometimes alittle push is all it takes, to turn the tide of battle.
ComNet > Imperial Navy > Archived Naval Academy > Bio for dredj  |  New Posts    
 

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