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Topic: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
Dreshversier
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Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 5:36:57 PM
Basics
Name: Dresh Versier
Nicknames: N/A
Callsign: Dreshversier
Age: 27
Species: Human
Homeworld: Corellia
Physical
Height: 6'
Weight: 155
Hair: Medium length, Blonde
Eyes: Dark Green
Build: Slim
Parents
Jamerl Versier
Anala Versier
Personality
Headstrong and often rash, Dresh doesn't always think his plans through preferring to live in the moment. Dresh isn't always able to get along with everyone, but anyone with patience may come to understand his sometimes chaotic behavior and lack of logic. Dresh is usualy a timid fellow when it comes to anything that has to do with his past, his family, or friends. Its not very easy for him to make friends now, as hes careful not to attach himself too much to anyone else. However, he does enjoy conversation when he takes his emotional sheilds down long enough to talk to anyone.
History
Born into a poor family, Dresh spent his childhood into young adulthood in the slummier parts of Corellia. His parents were neglectfull and did nothing more than provide him with minimum clothing, food, and a home. This left Dresh to learn many things on his own, and he often got into trouble looking for entertainment. During his later teen years, he began experementing with Glimmerstim. The euphoria was overwhelmingly addictive and Dresh was soon hooked, reduced to crime to finance his new addiction. On one occation, at age 20, he was suffering from withdrawl and needed money to get his fix. The first helpless victem he stumbled upon was an elderly woman named Nataline Deral. Dresh attempted to mug her at blaster-point, but the situation got out of hand and it quickly turned to murder. He was apprehended by the authorities and sentanced to 7 years of prison, where he was rehabilitated. During his time in prison, Dresh shared a cell with a man named Coren Laslik. Dresh and Coren gradually became good friends, one of the only true friends Dresh had in his lifetime. They shared stories of their past to pass time by, and Coren spoke highly of his father, who served in the Imperial Navy. Coren told stories about what he'd do after he got out, about how he'd join the Navy to make ammends for his crime, about how he'd make his father proud. Coren never shared why he had been locked up, but neither did Dresh, the memories pained them greatly, and neither wanted to bring them up around the other. Sadly, however, Coren never got the chance to get out and join the Navy, he died of a heart attack one night, and it struck a blow deep inside Dresh. One year later, Dresh was declaired to be cured of his addiction, and his sentance was up, he was set free. Now, with a fresh start on life, Dresh seeks a purpose and to make amends for his crimes, that now haunt him. Dresh decided to join the Imperial Navy, in honor of his best friend and to be a part of a worthy cause.
[This message has been edited by
Dreshversier
(edited June 6, 2007 8:33:08 PM)]
etan evnstar
ComNet Cadet
[VE-NAVY] Leading Crewman
Post Number: 292
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 6:58:43 PM
Hey Dresh, Welcome to the VEN. I'm not really anybody important. In fact, I'm just a step or two above you. But, it was someone a step or two above me that was the first to reply to my Bios. And we have become com padres since then.
Good start. Not to be mean, but I hope not all of that is a personal reflection on you. I mean, I was in the military and knew some good guys who screwed up badly when they were younger and took the military as an easy way to improve their lives. It's a common story, even here, so no offense is mean't, if that's the facts. Your story was concise, and to the point. I think you will do fine here in the VEN.
Shazam is our Naval training officer and sometimes he gets rather busy, but he'll be the one to critique you. Now like I said, I'm nobody really, but he will tell you either how to make your story better or what to do next. So sit tight, as I was told not so long ago. Maybe look around at what some of the rest of us are doing, to give you examples. And, I look forward to seeing you in the VEN.
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Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES
FM/LCR/Etan Evnstar/Kaph/Flight 3/Atrus/off/VEN/VE/Aviation cetificate
[This message has been edited by
etan evnstar
(edited May 13, 2007 7:03:25 PM)]
Casca
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 2nd Class
Post Number: 72
Total Posts: 240
Joined: Mar 2007
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 7:05:08 PM
Hi, Dresh. I'm Casca(also known as Raigen) the local ship designer, mediocre idea man, and pilot. Don't let Basic Training discourage you. Many pilots breeze right through it. Hope to see you in the squadrons soon. Welcome to the vastest of empires, young Versier.
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FM/PO2 Casca "Black Curse" Phennir/Nazgul Squadron 2-7/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF OFF/VEN/VE(=*A*=)[VC:B][BWC]
SDJ-75-13
TheStrangler
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 7:32:51 PM
I laughed at your concern, etan (not to scorn you, of course). Dresh? Dresh is too much a straight-and-narrow kid for drug addiction.
And I don't think we need to be introduced, Dresh. Welcome to the Navy. (I seriously think we need a Propaganda division)
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FM/SCRW Enzadi Malko/Kaph 2/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE(=*A*=)[SoA]
Lymph-(v.) To walk with a lisp
etan evnstar
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 8:38:11 PM
So as you can see, we are all friends here. Ray is really being modest about himself. Plus, I keep forgetting he's not Ray anymore. He's come from the Army into the Navy and is Casca now. And do you two know each other, but the Strangler, which sounds much more worse than he really is, has helped me put my bios on the VEWiki.
And, don't take my english"much more worse" as an example, please...
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Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES
FM/LCR/Etan Evnstar/Kaph/Flight 3/Atrus/off/VEN/VE/Aviation cetificate
[This message has been edited by
etan evnstar
(edited May 13, 2007 8:39:05 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
etan evnstar
(edited May 13, 2007 8:44:09 PM)]
Dreshversier
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 8:38:59 PM
Indeed, Etan, you can rest easy, this is not a reflection of myself. its simply a new concept I want to play out. I thank you all for the welcome.
And yes, we know each other
[This message has been edited by
Dreshversier
(edited May 13, 2007 8:39:42 PM)]
etan evnstar
ComNet Cadet
[VE-NAVY] Leading Crewman
Post Number: 297
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Joined: Oct 2006
Status: Offline
RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 13, 2007 8:52:29 PM
Did the Strangler recruit you to this site? Because if so I think he deserves recruiting points and that it should be noted to Shazam who is pushing for a recruiting drive before the summer begins. Just a thought...
-----------------------
Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES
FM/LCR/Etan Evnstar/Kaph/Flight 3/Atrus/off/VEN/VE/Aviation cetificate
Dreshversier
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 14, 2007 4:43:41 AM
Yes, Strangler was my recruiter
Kanderin Draken
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[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 14, 2007 10:11:31 AM
Welcome Dresh, always glad to see a new face, whatever side its on. Your unlikely to see a lot of me, but meh, welcome Anyway.
EDIT: Why im here, Something up with the Navy side right now? Been waiting two days for a training officer to get in touch with Skar...
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Lance Corporal Kanderin Draken
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Wraith Squad Motto: When staring in the face of death we see our reflection
TRP/LCPL Kanderin/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/VEA/VE/
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron, FF X
[This message has been edited by
Kanderin Draken
(edited May 14, 2007 10:12:34 AM)]
Shazam
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 14, 2007 5:25:59 PM
Welcome indeed, Dresh. As Etan said, I'm the residing Training Officer (TO) and I'll be helping you through our system known as Basic Training (BT). Very basically, all that is required of this course if for you to create a bio, read some materials, finish a short assignment and take what we call the
Aviator's Exam
. Seeings how you have a bio up- we'll start with that.
First off I'll say that your story isn't as common as I think Etan made it sound- this is actually among the first I've seen of these. It, in real life, might be common, but here it's not something I recall dealing with a whole lot. What I'd like to point out is that your character has little real connection with the Empire, so, despite his best intentions, joining the Imperial Navy would seem somewhat out of place. I might suggest putting, since your character's parents were of little influence, that either your friends had joined the Navy or the men of the prison that you were in somehow gave rise to the idea that the Imperial Navy was a good place. Perhaps he had a favorite guard who sympathized with him, or maybe he was extremely harsh- but either way your character was changed. As for the rest of the bio- you've done alright. When we point to 'personality traits' or 'behavior' we really like things that people could use. Yes, you've provided us with the idea that your character may have contracted some kind of neurosis while in the slammer, but otherwise- we know nothing about his behavior. Is he quick to get into a conversation? Nice, mean, stringent? Tell us a little more, basically.
And that's all that I think I wanna pick apart there- the rest is for your to discover as you write. I thought I'd provide the link to 'Flight School' (FS), which is the section of BT you're currently in, so that you could view the chapters I'm running you through. The biography you've just produced pertains to the first of three chapters there- "Character Creation." If you'll take a look at it, perhaps it can give you even greater insight as to what your bio can provide to your fellow members. Give me a ring when you're ready to have me look at this again, at which point I'll probably move you onto the next chapter. I'm happy to see such support from our fellow members- hopefully you'll be able to stick around to help them in the ESC; keep on keepin on.
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29
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*Flash Was Here...*
WC|TO/CMD Shazam/Phoenix 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=MA=) (=*FOCE*=) [CBV*] [LoM] [LSM] [MC2] [VC:S] [SV*] [DSM] {Platinum Writing Medal}
Phoenix Wing Commander and Training Officer
[This message has been edited by
Shazam
(edited May 14, 2007 5:31:14 PM)]
etan evnstar
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Leading Crewman
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RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 15, 2007 8:03:06 PM
Yeah, like he said. Shazam, of course. I wanted to tell you to lengthen you story a little and expound on your character, but couldn't because that is what our Naval Training officer is for.
And he gave you some good ideas. If you need more, message me, I'll be glad to help.
-----------------------
Grammer, mechanics, punctuation, spelling, diction, effectiveness in the science, and larger elements are the facts at hand. The Harbrace College Handbook edited by JOHN C. HODGES
FM/LCR/Etan Evnstar/Kaph/Flight 3/Atrus/off/VEN/VE/Aviation cetificate
Casca
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[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 2nd Class
Post Number: 85
Total Posts: 240
Joined: Mar 2007
Status: Offline
RE: Dresh Versier, Ready for Training.
May 15, 2007 8:41:56 PM
Don't forget to use those start up credits to buy urinal cakes. I stopped by the academy bathrooms, and they started to smell a bit
funky
.
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FM/PO2 Casca "Black Curse" Phennir/Nazgul Squadron 2-7/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF OFF/VEN/VE(=*A*=)[VC:B][BWC]
SDJ-75-13
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