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ComNet > Imperial Navy > Archived Naval Academy > Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
 
 
 
Author
Topic:  Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
Jimmy Zacktura
ComNet n00b
 
Jimmy Zacktura
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  4
Total Posts:  4
Joined:  Oct 2006
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  Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
October 21, 2006 4:50:53 AM    View the profile of Jimmy Zacktura 
Full Name: Jimmy 'Bandit' Zacktura

Current Assignments: Basic Training [BT]

hair color/style: Brown with hints or red which is spiked up.

eye color: My eyes are a green colour which changes with my mood and the certain mission or tasks i am doing. ex. Anger - Red, Happy - Blue

skin color/shade: I was originally born white but have gradually turned darker in my life.

height: 6'2
weight: n/a
race: Human

Physical: At a early age he had needed to be strong to lift or carry injured people/objects which over the years have put a huge amount of muscle on his arms, leg, chest and stomach. He has always been a good at hand-on-hand combat but after joining the Imperial Navy [IN] has had no time to show this talent, he has never used a blaster in his life as his mentor had a bad feeling of his abilty with this sort of weapon. When he is in a fight he reminds himself of when he saw his mother dieing and never seeing his father and blames that on the person he is attacking which makes him a harder target to hurt or even hit. With his flying you could call him a Bandit where his nickname comes from.

Scars: He has been lucky to only recive one scar with the work he has done troughout his life, which has removed some hair from his eyebrow which is in the shape of a shot of lightning.

Posture: his posture changes from time to time with what plantet he is on. if he was on his home planet of Dantoonie then he would walk with his back up straight and very tall if he was on Tatoonie which his mum died above he would walk around attacking everything he saw.

Intelligence: Knows everything about anything thats useful.

Pet Peaves: Being Ignored, Being with a person he has not chosen to be with.

History: Jimmy was brought up by his mother as his father who was in the [IN] he was brought up on Dantoonie and his father died on the planet Tatoonie which is his hated planet. Altrough he was mainly in a Ship most of his early years he was a in top of all his classes and knows anything about everything thats useful. when his mother died in the ship of his fathers navy vessel, which angered Jimmy even more untill he was 18 he was brought up by his uncle Zebby Zilone which was a very powerful man which had feelings with the force and tryed to connect jimmy with them. After years of practive Jimmy was gaining Force Points but stopped when his uncle Zebby Died when Mercenies had came to kill them both. On that day of destruction Jimmy fought away about 8 mercenies without a scratch on his body.

After joining the people which did the thing he knew he got into a bad group which meant he was brought up to take orders and ready to serve. He got caught trying to rob some jedi archieves from an abandoned temple on Dantooni. He was faced with imprisionment and knowing his so called friends would not help him he took matters into his own hands. while in a force barried jail cell how could he get out but with all his intelligents and power he eventually got trough the force barrier with only a scar on his eyebrow. He was then caught by the fedaral police and was going to be executed right there where he was stood but with his quick wites, courage and strengh he got away from the fedaral police to join the one thing that would get him out of this mess without dieing. He Joined the Imperial Navy, to which this day he has yet to actually get into an active squad beut we will see what happens laster in the years.

To Be Continued.........







 
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Jimmy Zacktura
Cyleaf Aehait
ComNet Initiate
 
Cyleaf Aehait
 
[VE-NAVY] Chief Petty Officer
 
Post Number:  173
Total Posts:  349
Joined:  Apr 2006
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  RE: Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
October 21, 2006 2:19:46 PM    View the profile of Cyleaf Aehait 
Hi Jimmy,
  My name's Cyleaf Aehait and I'm an operator in the Vast Empire Naval Academy. It's my job to help point new recruits in the right direction.

I see you've worked on your bio and broken it up into sections, that's great! But I do see one problem, see here you can't have any connection with the force. There is the Dark Jedi Order but it's an elite group here that you must apply for after 4-6 months of service. If that's a goal for you cool, it's mine too but that's the only major thing I see. Shazam or Jaden will better critique it.

If you need to contact me you can message me here and I'll help you out anyway I can.

Best of Luck  Cyleaf Aehait
 
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EFM/CPO/Cyleaf Aehait/Kaph 2-6/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)(=*SA*=)[BWC]
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
 
Shazam
 
[VE-NAVY] Commander
[VE-VEEC] Chief Reporter
 
Post Number:  2677
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  RE: Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
October 24, 2006 6:11:55 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
I see you've begun your bio- excellent.  Cyleaf is correct though and I have a few additional comments before we move on.

First off, let's talk story- Your father was a part of the Imperial Navy, or IN as you call it.  However, you must understand that the Vast Empire Navy (VEN) is not the same as the Imperial Navy underneath the old Emperor.  The VE is actually a faction, a splinter group of the original Empire; each faction tries to claim they are truly Imperial or are following in the Emperor's footsteps but they just want to rule the galaxy  

Why's that important?  The original Empire, under Palpatine, commanded his forces without any respect toward his men, primarilly the troops at the frontlines.  Thus, pilots and troopers were often assigned codes or IDs, thus they had no real name, completely forgetting thier identity and, instead, swearing their allegience to the Empire.  Our group, on the other hand, just believes that they can run the galaxy a lot better than anyone else and we feel it our responsibility to do so- the idea is that the Imperial form of rule is best, though not necessarilly done in the same way the Emperor did it ( if that makes any sense, lol.)  Anywho, that changed our doctrine, meaning that pilots were allowed to keep thier names and act like human beings, even having outside lives rather than utter loyalty to the Empire where there was no mention of dreams or aspirations.  Here there are ethics, the men and women are respected, though the VE hasn't dropped its roots- we still know how to cause some damage and our means of revenge are rather horrifying... 

Futhermore- our current timeline is set about five years after return of the Jedi- or maybe it was four.  Either way, the Emperor is dead, Dantooine is controlled by the NR (New Republic, or formally the Rebels), the the galaxy remains in civil war.  Now though, not only is it Imperials vs NR, but its Imperials vs Imperials and then even furter- Imperials and NR vs Pirates or any other tyrannical force.  Just thought you should know that before we moved on to how that effects your story...  :>

Now then- your father was a part of the old Empire presumebly and your family was under the protection of one of those groups.  Now then, presuming you were under the custody of your mother when she was killed, in an attack against one of the cities perhaps, the only other guardian was your uncle.  We haven't established ages yet, though I think we could safely place this one at about 12 years old or so,  I'm bettin your character would be pretty traumatized- maybe that's why the training started.  Your uncle though: where did he learn all of this mastery?  Was he even that great?  Perhaps he was only able to teach you at a partial level and you led the way for yourself.

In this training, btw, there can be no mention of the force- that's one of our rules throughout the VE: force powers and whatnot are simply out of the question until you've been accepted into the DJO.  Why?  It makes things too easy and there tends to be a lot less conflict or interesting back-up storyline when the force gets involved because you could just say that you sent out those little tendrils of the force to knock out another fighter's engine- which is rather ridiculous, lol.  Either way- we just can't be having that right now.

Also, you claim that your character 'knows all that is important'- he can't possibly know everything so this might very well express his view of the galaxy.  What would you say your character thinks is important?  Perhaps he's not overlly book smart but he thinks certain things are important like loyalty, family or respect- revenge?  Revenge is a bit hackneyed, yes, but I'm sure you could come up with something to express a particularly sympathetic value.  Of course, you could make him achedemically aesthetic, but you'd still have to distinguish what's important.

Furthermore- why would mercenaries be after you?  From who?  To achieve what?  I'm just stating that it's a bit random and unless you get some concrete facts behind that- there's not much use for it.  If you want to work with it, maybe these could be a group of people who have a grudge against your uncle- maybe he wasn't such a good guy?  Or perhaps you've been hiding or attempting to escape something?  Either way- you need a reason for that death and I'm sure that your character couldnt' take eight mercenies, no matter what group, unless they were signicantly disabled by some other factor.  Does that make sense?  And what age should we figure that at?

Finally- what brings your character to join the VEN?  Perhaps he thought so highly of the Imperial Navy, but he didn't appreciate the Emperor and decided that the VEN was the best way to go.  Maybe that's where his talents and his belief of 'what's important' reflects best?  We need to know why though- and does your character have any experience flying?  Why the Navy and not the Army?  Why fight at all?

I'm so specific on a bio because it really sets the path for the rest of your VEN career, though it can be altered or ammended at any time.  Either way- after you've completed this you'll be moving on to Chapter 2- once that's complete we're going to move you right into a squadron: the need is dire for recruits and it looks like you can handle it.  Chapter 2 will fill you in on tactics, equipment and a little more history- then you're off.  So lets get through this and get any questions answered by posting them here- Jaden will be okaying your bio if I don't: so please don't be bashful, lol.

That's all I've got right this second- excellent to see you have some initiative.  Rock On!
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

SC/CMD Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
Jaden
ComNet Veteran
 
Jaden
 
[VE-NAVY] Chief Warrant Officer
[VE-VEEC] Gaming Division Head
 
Post Number:  1104
Total Posts:  1963
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Status:  Offline
  RE: Basic Training [BT] my BIO ! (draft)
October 28, 2006 10:02:45 AM    View the profile of Jaden 
You have permission to move onto Chapter 2, Pilot procedure.  From your completion you will be moved straight into a squadron, and from there, you will start taking exams and what not.

See you around, keep it up.
 
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Jaden Khaar
NazgulSquadron
Naval Academy Executive Officer
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SXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Nazgul 1-2 (Nazgul 2)/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)
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TXO/CWO Jaden Khaar/Venom 1-2 (Venom 2)/Phoenix Wing/Platform Saratoga/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) (*=TE=*) [VC:S][LSM][SV][CBV](x2)
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