Greetings Ender, I just stoped by to offer some help and you're doing great.

Reorginize your bio into a form like this, it's the template we use in the navy.

Brief:Name; Age; Height; Weight; Eyes; Skin; Home world.

Physical Description-If you looked at your character how would someone see them? Do they have scars? Muscular? Hair styled in a certain way or bald? Be creative about how you appear.

Emotional Description: How would your character react to things around him? Is he a loner or the center of attention? What are some negative characteristics? are they rash? easily distracted? A good character has some real bad habbits or traits as well as good ones.

History: The meat and potatoes of how you became the person you were jsut describing. You have put up a bio and it's good, but the only thing is it concentrates on the now and how he joined. Maybe add some background, childhood or teen moments that maybe he got those traits that make him who he is? How he became good at Computer Engineering/Battlefield Strategy and Tactics/Piloting/Marksman (blaster rifle).

That would add much more insight to your character when others in your squadren write about your character in their posts.

Don't mean to chew your ear off, you are doing great man keep it up. Oh and when you add more to a bio just make a reply in this thread, you don't need to create new threads each time


Best of luck and Shazam or Jaden will critique and move you to the next task when they are ready.

 
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EFM/CPO/Cyleaf Aehait/Kaph 1-3/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE/(=*A*=)(=*SA*=)[BWC]

Brief:
Full Name:  Ender von Spectre. Age: 20. Height: 5feet, 10inches. Weight: 140lbs. Eye Color:  Dark Blue. Hair Color: Dark Brown. Skin Color:  Lightly Tanned White. Homeworld: Commenor.

Physical Appearance:
Ender is of medium muscular build and has 3 prominent scars; one 2 inches long and along the middle of his left arm just above his wrist, one 3 inches long and along the right side of his midsection just below his rib cage, and one 2 inches long and on his right palm.

Emotional Description:
Ender is an observer. He prefers to be away from the center of attention but still close enough to see and know all. While socialable if engaged he has a tendency to aviod contact if possible.  Ender is also often quick to action. He has no problem with taking command of a situation if he believes he can do a task better than someone else. Ender, if to be labeled anything, would be viewed as slightly cold and a "know-it-all" to his peers.

History:
Ender was born into an up-and-coming family on Commenor. His family dealt in the construction of large freighters and luxury vessels and was well off with the local imperial higher-ups. Starting in his mid-teens and finishing in his late-teens Ender was trained by Imperials in being a marksman with a blaster rifle. The price, of course, was a custom luxury yacht to the Imperial force commander. Education was highly stressed throughout Ender's life and he was schooled in a wide field of stuides by a great many tudors. Ender's father expected him to join the Empire when he entered into adulthood and so he was given some early training from imperial tacticians before he actually enlisted. As he proved to be exceptional in the areas of battlefield strategy and tactics he came to the attention of some of the local imperial higher-ups personally rather than by family. All this only served to bring his family greater influence and power. As Ender entered into adulthood the Empire was fractured into several factions and the Rebel Alliance was far more powerful then it was back in the days of his childhood. That greater power was going to be demonstrated to Ender much sooner and more personally then he could imagine...

Talents/Skills:
Computer Engineering/Battlefield Strategy and Tactics/Piloting/Marksman (blaster rifle)

Current:
Ender's parents, as strong supporters of the Empire were slain when they refused to join in supporting the rebellion along with their neighbors. The rebel troops used the excuse that the killings were necessary lest the family inform the local Imperial power of the operations taking place. Ender was the only member of his family to survive the massacre for he was away on a visit to a nearby star system as a birthday present. The security forces possesed by Ender's family made taking them away and detaining them in some manner impossible. With no loyalties remaining to anyone or anything Ender reached out for a method of retaliating. He found the Vast Empire. Which looked far more appealing now as a means of fighting back at the rebels. Upon joining the Vast Empire he proved to be advanced it strategy, tactics, and a great variety of other skills which would aid him in rising through the ranks. While in transit to the Navy Academy the vessel he was aboard experienced an rather catastrophic engine failure. The vessel was a simple Sentinel-class shuttle and while adrift in space for the better part of a day it was happened along by a rebel vessel of similar size and armament. It was assumed that the rebels had simply encountered the distress signal that was being sent out before any other Vast Empire vessels did. The rebels called for the surrender of the vessel's occupants and began to board the shuttle. Unaware that a good portion of the occupants aboard the vessel were recruits en route to receive there training the rebels took no prisoners after there first warning. The slaughter was great and it seemed almost as if the ship would be lost. Then reinforcements arrived. The rescue vessel layed siege to the rebel vessel and lent aid to the shuttle. As the tide turned Ender encountered the slayers of this family, most of them anyways. Leading a small group of other recruits he engaged the rebel invaders in a corridor battle and led the squad to victory. Upon reviewing the corpses he got his confirmation that they were in fact the same rebels that had killed his family by taking note of distinguishing markings such as tattoos and name/rank data found on the bodies that were recorded in the families security cameras within their residence. With the battle won and the few rebels left alive taken prisoner as well as with ship repairs completed the vessel along with its escort resumed course for the Navy Academy. Ender currently resides there undergoing training, with the rank of Crewman.
 
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CRW

Victory becomes, to some degree, a state of mind. Knowing ourselves superior to the anxieties, troubles, and worries which obsess us, we are superior to them.

And I return.

I know I've been away for a load of months but school and work grew to consume too many of my waking hours.

When I was able to get back to VE it told me I had the wrong password or some such and so I had it send it to me again. Sadly it refuses to actually work though I notice that it shows "Ender" as online now even though I can't do anything with that name. SO I made this one instead.

Yup. I'll get things back on track with my bio shortly... But I pose a question; Should I stick with this one and give up on "Ender" or will it somehow unlock itself for me to use again...?

Furthermore! It keeps telling me I have so sign in to post even though I already did...Twice. And so I lol..