Subject: Jayson (unknown)

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Brown

Build: Stalky/Muscular

Skills/Talent: While living in the remote forests of Orrain3. It would seem he has picked up on animal like behavior. Such as feelings peoples emotions almost looking into their souls.

Bio of subject:While on a routine scouting mission of Orrain3. Troops came across a naked teen male around the age of 15 or 16. He was accompanied by a pack of wild dogs.I want to make this part clear he was accompanied by a pack of wild dogs. After hunting him for several hours.They where able to separate him from the pack net him and bring him in. At first I was only able to work with him. While in a cage. He learned slow at first not unlike a child. Then one day instead of grunts he used words. Small words like no and yes then more followed. After time he came to trust me then his story came out. This part may or may not be true this is his account. The last thing I remember is my mother taking me on a picnic. She had a cake with five candles on it. And a present wraped in side was a locket. On the locket was the name Jayson printed on it. It's the same locket I wear now.We ate and talk for a while. Then I saw the men, men with spears and hate in their eyes. My mother told me to run so I did. I ran to the tall grass and hide. I covered my head and when I finaly got up. my mother my village was gone. I looked and yellowed for her for days. There was nothing no sounds no sreams nothing. I didn't see another person into the Empire came and found me.
This is all I have to date subject doesn't remember or doesn't want to remember. With time the whole story will came to light.

It's a good start - creative.

However, I'm going to make your revise it a bit. Read your biography out loud to yourself (yes, this helps). You'll be able to find your grammatical errors a lot faster this way. So, read it out loud, fix the errors, then repost it again in this same topic (as a new reply).
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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I'll give you a little help here. First off, periods ( . ) are used to end a sentence. Once the sentence has ended, that's it, it's done and overwith.

Commas ( , ) are used to link thoughts together within a sentence (linking related material). Whether they are runons, additional thoughts, etc.

Semicolons ( ; ) are used to continue thoughts after a sentence has seemingly ended.

Your bio before revision:

While on a routine scouting mission of Orrain3. Troops came upon a unclothed teen male traveling with a pack of wild dogs. After tracking him for several hours. They managed to separate him for the pack, net him and bring him in. *At first I was only able to work with him while caged. But after time I gained his trust. And slowly he began to learn. Then one day instead of grunts he used words. Small words just like a child when they first speak.But after a time he was able to tell me his story. This part may or may not be true this is his account. The last thing I remember is my mother taking me on a picnic. She had a cake with five candles on it And a gift wrapped in paper. Inside was a locket with the name Jayson on it. We ate and talked for what seemed like hours. Then I saw men, men with spears and hate in their eyes. My mother told me to run. So I ran to the tall grass and concealed myself. When I finally got up she was gone.Everything was gone.I didn't see another person until the empire found me. This is all I have to date.

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Your bio after revision (changes are made in bold):

While on a routine scouting mission of Orrain3, troops came upon an unclothed teen male traveling with a pack of wild dogs. After tracking him for several hours, they managed to separate him for the pack, net him and bring him in. *At first I was only able to work with him while caged, but as time passed I earned his trust; he slowly he began to learn. One day, instead of grunts he used words; small words just like a child when they first speak. But after a time he was able to tell me his story.

This part may or may not be true, this is his account: the last thing I remember is my mother taking me on a picnic. She had a cake with five candles on it and a gift wrapped in paper. Inside was a locket with the name, Jayson, on it. We ate and talked for what seemed like hours, and then I saw men... men with spears and hate in their eyes. My mother told me to run, so I ran to the tall grass and concealed myself. When I finally got up she was gone. Everything was gone. I didn't see another person until the Empire found me. This is all I have to date.

* = Before this part, you are telling the story in a seemingly narrative third-person voice. Suddenly you jump into a first-person narration. It's somewhat confusing as to what happened. Try sticking with a third-person narration, especially with our current Army stories. It makes it a lot easier to write and comprehend.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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