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Author
Topic:  New Recruit
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  1
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
Status:  Offline
  New Recruit
August 7, 2006 6:40:17 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
Hello everybody. I am new here, and eager to start playing.

Josh Schumacher reporting for duty!
Rogueboy
ComNet Member
 
Rogueboy
 
[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
 
Post Number:  414
Total Posts:  2089
Joined:  Dec 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 6:48:24 PM    View the profile of Rogueboy 
Welcome to the little Empire that could

Congratulations on finding this website amongst all those other pretenders now drop down and give me.....*looks at his watch*....748
 
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He will give them death, and they will love him for it -Gladiator

TRP/PFC_Rogueboy/1SQD/1PLT/COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR]
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  2
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 7:02:45 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
Josh drops to the ground and begins doing push ups. He had heard that the navy would be hard, but he hadn't thought it would be this hard.
Rogueboy
ComNet Member
 
Rogueboy
 
[VE-ARMY] Lance Corporal
 
Post Number:  416
Total Posts:  2089
Joined:  Dec 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 7:17:13 PM    View the profile of Rogueboy 
there is the irony, *COUGHS*IMNOTNAVY*COUGHS* as you can see at the bottom of my avatar.

By the way if you have any questions you could ask me or Shazam your training officer.
 
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He will give them death, and they will love him for it -Gladiator

TRP/PFC_Rogueboy/1SQD/1PLT/COMP/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR]
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  3
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 7:24:45 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
Haha, I noticed that after I posted.  Makes me glad I didn't join the army And I will, thank you.
 
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"If you can't fly, don't try." ~Myself.
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
Josh Schumacher
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  4
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 9:04:11 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
Josh finishes his push ups and twiddles his thumbs while waiting for a response.
 
-----------------------
"If you can't fly, don't try." ~Myself.
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
 
Shazam
 
[VE-NAVY] Commander
[VE-VEEC] Chief Reporter
 
Post Number:  2563
Total Posts:  4197
Joined:  Jun 2003
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 7, 2006 10:16:49 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Howdy- I'm Shazam you're trainer and I'll be helping you through Basic Training (BT).  You're currently in the Flight School (FS) phase of BT, but once you're through here you'll be put in active duty.  First off you need to create your character by going to the following website:

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29

Find Chapter 1: Character Creation and post your bio here.  Good to see you here, man: welcome to the VEN.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Sage
 
Jack Nebulax
 
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 2nd Class
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
 
Post Number:  3156
Total Posts:  3245
Joined:  Aug 2004
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 8, 2006 2:23:25 PM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
Welcome to the Vastest of Empires, pilot!
 
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Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

------------------------------------------------------------
Warrant Officer 2nd Class Jack Nebulax, Nazgul Squadron, Imperial Navy, Vast Empire.
FM/WO2 Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 11 (3-3)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:G] [GWC]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
Jack Nebulax: King of the Reply
------------------------------------------------------------
Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
Josh Schumacher
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  5
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
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  RE: New Recruit
August 8, 2006 2:48:47 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
[Full Name] Joshua Schumacher
[Age] 20
[Height] 6"1
[Weight] 140 pounds
[Hair] Short, brown
[Species] Human
[Eyes] Deep brown
[Homeworld] Dantooine

[Physical Description]
Josh is tall, and rather thin. He is not very muscular, and his skeletal structure is easily visible at his joints. He has a long, straight nose, and large eyes spaced far apart. He has the beginnings of a moustache.

[Emotional Description]
Josh is extremely polite, he always follows orders to the letter, where possible, and his loyalty is admirable. He puts his duty before his life, but he puts his friends before both, and it causes him anguish if he ever has to follow an order that would harm one of his friends. He is perhaps too trusting, and everyone he meets is on level ground, regardless of appearance.

[Peeves] He is very quick to pick up something, and when someone else dosn't get it as fast as he does, he gets frustrated. (Also one of my RL peeves)

[History]
Josh grew up on Dantooine, with rich parents. He was often flying, be it a luxury cruiser or an air speeder. Josh was out on one of these cruises, flying through the atmosphere at a low altitude, skimming the hills, when he received a comm message from his father. It told him to come back to the estate immediately. Josh did so, and when he returned he found a horrible scene. Both his mother and father were lying in the lobby, in a pool of their own blood. Josh called the authorities, but they couldn't find anything useful. Josh enlisted in the Navy the next day.

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"If you can't fly, don't try." ~Myself.
[This message has been edited by Josh Schumacher (edited August 8, 2006 4:37:45 PM)]
Jaden
ComNet Veteran
 
Jaden
 
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 2nd Class
[VE-VEEC] Gaming Division Head
 
Post Number:  1007
Total Posts:  1963
Joined:  Dec 2004
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 9, 2006 10:20:11 AM    View the profile of Jaden 
Alright, good character discriptions and good information, but there are some things we will need to work out.

The small part about your parents being killed.  The plot sounds alright, but, you need to put more detail into it.  You can just go from, "My character flies, so one time, he got a message from his parents and they were killed".

If you read it back to yourself, you'll find out its not the most logical thing that you could have put down.

Instead, write about how your character flies, how he came to love flying and who was his teacher.  Go into that more deeply, but don't include all of the information about your parents in your bio.

Instead, just say that he lost his parents somewhere in his clildhood.  That way, if you keep writing with us you'll be able to use that in some sort of personal story or something later on as your own side project.

Next thing, how does your pilot come to join This Navy.  As you read in the large bulletin when you joined the vast empire, we are an Imperial Faction, and I don't think that point has gotten across to most of you new recruits.  Somehow you would have to come across someone who knew about us, and then from that, you could somehow make something up about wanting to join and get into it somehow from there.

I'm just giving you ideas my friend, thats what I'm here for.
 
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Jaden Khaar
Aegis Squadron

-----------------------------------------------------------
CMDR/WO2 Jaden Khaar/Aegis 1-1 (Aegis 1)/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [VC:S] (SV) (CBV)

Commander of Aegis Squadron
Josh Schumacher
ComNet n00b
 
Josh Schumacher
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  6
Total Posts:  7
Joined:  Aug 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 9, 2006 1:09:08 PM    View the profile of Josh Schumacher 
[Full Name] Joshua Schumacher
[Age] 20
[Height] 6"1
[Weight] 140 pounds
[Hair] Short, brown
[Species] Human
[Eyes] Deep brown
[Homeworld] Dantooine

[Physical Description]
Josh is tall, and rather thin. He is not very muscular, and his skeletal structure is easily visible at his joints. He has a long, straight nose, and large eyes spaced far apart. He has the beginnings of a moustache.

[Emotional Description]
Josh is extremely polite, he always follows orders to the letter, where possible, and his loyalty is admirable. He puts his duty before his life, but he puts his friends before both, and it causes him anguish if he ever has to follow an order that would harm one of his friends. He is perhaps too trusting, and everyone he meets is on level ground, regardless of appearance.

[Peeves] He is very quick to pick up something, and when someone else doesnt get it as fast as he does, he gets frustrated. (Also one of my RL peeves)

[History]
Josh grew up on Dantooine, with rich parents. His father was the owner of a shipping company, and when he was old enough his father took him on one of the companies cargo ships, and from then on he took a love to anything that flew. His father was too busy to teach him to fly most of the time, so Josh asked around town, and he met an ex- Imperial Pilot. Josh made friends with the pilot, who taught him to fly. From the moment he sat at the controls of his first air speeder and listened to stories of intense space combat from the pilot, he knew what he wanted to do with his life. He planned to leave on the evening of his 20th birthday, but his parents were found dead the morning before. Distraught, Josh booked passage on the next freighter off the planet, and he then enlisted in the Imperial Navy.

(Thank you for your help. Better?)
 
-----------------------
"If you can't fly, don't try." ~Myself.
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
 
Shazam
 
[VE-NAVY] Commander
[VE-VEEC] Chief Reporter
 
Post Number:  2565
Total Posts:  4197
Joined:  Jun 2003
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit
August 10, 2006 9:53:02 AM    View the profile of Shazam 
That bio actually looks really good.  I'm ganna have to disagree with Jaden on the parents thing though- why?  Because if your parents just died one day and you knew an Imperial Pilot and that's why you joined the Navy you don't have much to run on.  So, I'd figure out why they were killed, by whom and your characters reaction to that.  See, your character seems to be really well rounded, which makes me think his family was a wholesome one.  If so, perhaps they didn't like him hanging out with an Imperial Pilot who'd killed people in the past?  Did they even like the Imperials?  Do you see where I'm going with this?  You just want to create a conflict somewhere along these lines.  Sorry to have to switch this back on you, but you're doin awesome man.  After you make those changes, if you can or choose to of course, then you can move on to Chapter 2: Pilot Procedure.  Make sure to post the assignment here so we can see it- rock on.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
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