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Topic:  Hello
Nabric
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Post Number:  1
Total Posts:  5
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  Hello
June 27, 2006 6:30:22 PM    View the profile of Nabric 
Sup everyone.
Nabric
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Post Number:  2
Total Posts:  5
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  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 6:37:05 PM    View the profile of Nabric 
Here's my bio:

Name:  Nabric Kraell
Callsign:  Nabric
Age:  18
Height:  6' 3"
Weight:  178
Hair Color:  Green
Eye Color:  Black
Skin Color:  Light tan
Place of Birth:  Tatooine

Nabric ran through the dirt roads to his home in Tatooine, hearing the news that his mother was getting even worse now.  She had been sick for a long time now, day after day staying home, trying to hang on to life.  Nabric knew that she didn't have much time left, that she was losing her grasp, death slowly but surly consuming her.  Not right now.  Don't go right now.  He prayed every morning not only for his mother, but for himself also, so that he wouldn't lose control.  As she was dying, Nabric was growing weaker and weaker, having to work harder and longer in order to bring the smallest bit of food home for them to eat.  He kept running, looking forward to see his town in front of him.  Or at least they call it a town.  No part of the desert planet had really been fully colonized by humans, mostly filled with poor moisture farmers and filthy gamblers.  Recently, Nabric had become one of those gamblers, needing another way to make money.  He had actually excelled at it, his predictions now very accurate.  At the end of every week, podraces would be held at the Boonta Eve Classic track, Nabric betting a very small amount of what he had earned at his job towards the races.  He had always come out with something, win or loss, most of the time not enough to buy much, but enough to keep them alive.  Nabric was close now, his small hut in sight.  I hope she's alright.  Dammit, she better be alright.

He came to a sudden halt as a speeder sped past him, going full speed, nearly decapitating him.  The driver of the vehicle started to laugh, continuing his path to what appeared to be nowhere.  Dust now blocked his path to his home, Nabric waiting there for a moment, the dirt taking an eternity to clear out.  He coughed once, clearing out his lungs; holding his breath, he stepped through the dust that was looming in the hot air.  Bastard, thought Nabric, now only feet away from his home.  He stepped inside, the sound of coughing entering his ears.  He looked in to see his mother lying on the bed, looking even worse now.  He stepped close to her, pressing his hand to her forehead.  He face was pale, her forehead an inferno.  She smiled a fragile smile at him, the look warming his insides, making him smile.  She's good at that, he though as he went to wet a washcloth.  He pressed the cloth to her forehead, dabbing it on her cheeks as well.  He kept repeating this as she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep, now somewhere safe, away from the real.  He kept the cloth on her forehead, now sitting down beside her and closing his eyes.  His head ached with pain, a pain that hit him hard inside, every minute, banging over and over in his head.  He breathed in and out, calming himself down, the pain slowly going away.

He turned his head, looking at the door now as Stephanie entered the room.  Nabric stood up as she walked over to his mother and touched her face.  Since Nabric could remember, Stephanie had been, besides his mother, all he had had.  She was his best friend; she was caring, easy to approach, and could relate to Nabric in many ways.  Recently, he had found a liking to her, recognizing her actual beauty.  They had become close, and Nabric appreciated having someone there to talk to.  "She is getting worse, isn't she?" she asked.  Nabric slowly nodded even though he didn't want to.  She looked back to his mother, muttering a short prayer and standing back up.  They both exited the hut and entered the bland, desert landscape.  "I know how you can help her." she said.  "There is a healer coming to town.  He can help her get better."  Nabric looked at her, eyes wide, not believing what he was hearing.  His pessimistic side took the best of him, knowing that something so lucky could never happen to him.  And what's the catch?  "He is very costly.  He said that it will be about two-thousand credits."  Nabric's mouth shot open as he looked at the ground, his predictions correct yet again.  I can get the money, he though to himself, podracing.

"Follow me." he said.  The races would begin very shortly, and he needed to get there quickly.  Where the hell am I going to get a pod?  And how the hell am I going to fly it?

-------Ten Minutes Later-------


They finally arrived at the track.  The stands were filled with both humans and various creatures, all eager to see the race.  The bets hadn't been placed yet, and the pilots were tending to there pods in the station nearby.  Nabric and Stephanie walked to the station, Nabric looking for a pod.  Gotta knock out on of these guys.  Nabric felt no emotion now; he had a mission and he was going to fulfill it.  Nabric turned to the right, seeing a man next to his pod.  He wasn't too big, being easy prey for Nabric as he slowly approached.  Dammit.  I don't want to do this.  He was starting to have second thoughts about what he was planning, thoughts that were soon fought away by his thirst, his desire to help his mother.  He reached the man, trying to act as casual as possible.  Okay, how am I going to do this?  The man looked at him, a blank expression on his face.  "Hey, uh, I have a question about something over here." he said.  "It's about my pod.  You see, this is my first race, and I don't exactly know what to do."  The man frowned a bit, then started to talk, slowly teaching Nabric how to pilot and control a pod.  "Thanks.  Hey, can I show you something for a second."  The man hesitated for a moment, then nodded, following Nabric as he led them into a dark corner.  Do it now; this is going to be your only chance.  He looked around to make sure that no one else was watching, and struck the man in the stomach with his knee.  The man bent down, grasping his stomach as Nabric hit him in the neck, knocking him out. 

Dammit!  Why did it have to be this way?  He turned to look at Stephanie, who was now in tears because of what she had seen.  He walked up to her, placing his hand on her shoulder as turned around, heading to their newly acquired pod.  The race was moments away from beginning, the pilots moving their vehicles to the starting line.  Nabric looked closely, trying to follow suit.  He stepped up and into the cockpit, turning the pod on.  The engines roared to life, a surge of energy going through Nabric's body.  This is it.  He looked up into the sky, immediately squinting because of the light.  Give me this one time.  Just this one.  Nothing more, nothing less.  He looked back to the course, examining the track that he was about to enter.  The path was jagged and looked almost impossible to get through.  Further ahead was a cave system, the inside dark and waiting to reveal itself.  Nabric looked around at the other racers.  There were five more of them there, a variety of species that were unknown to Nabric.  He closed his eyes, shutting all the sounds and noises out, entering his own world.  He breath in, then exhaled, hearing his heart beat.  He looked forward now, his gaze filled with concentration. 

The race started.  Nabric pushed forward with the controls in his hand, the pod now moving at all.  The other racers had taken off, the only thing left of them being the dust that loomed over their tracks.  GOD DAMMIT.  His mind was racing, trying to figure out what was going wrong, when it struck him.  The pod had turned off before the race had started.  Nabric struck the switch, the vehicle starting up again and he pushed forward with the controls, the pod taking off onto the course.  He wasn't too far behind the other racer, but he still had much ground to cover.  He moved to the side, barely missing a large boulder.  After a few minutes, he entered the cave system, seeing the engines of the driver in front of him.  Rocks were hanging down from the top of the cave that he was in, Nabric having to move from side to side to dodge them.  He ducked, the rock shaving the tip of his helmet.  He looked back up and swerved to the side, almost losing his head to another one of the rocks.  He could see the end of the caves now, getting closer and closer to the racer in front of him.

He exited the caves, squinting again at the change in light.  Only yards away from the pod in front of him, and what appeared to be a clear path in front of him, he sped up, now traveling to the pod's fullest speed.  He passed the pod in front of him, the engines of the pods ahead of him now in his sight.  He moved a bit to the left, looking to pass the pod in front of him.  There were two pods going head to head in front of him, Nabric, speeding up and landing in between them.  Oh shit.  The pilots of the pods surrounding him signaled to each other, the pods moving to the side a bit.  Here it comes.  He waited a second longer, looking for the right time to make his move, and pulled back hard on the handles, the pods beside him colliding with each other, exploding into a huge pit of fire, debris being sent in all directions.  The pod behind him flew into the fire as well, creating an even bigger combustion.  Nabric pushed forward again, dodging the explosion.  The path was clear now as he set out full speed, the remaining pods in front of him becoming visible.  He moved directly behind the pod in front of him, wanting to test a trick of his.  The pilot of the pod in front of him looked back, wanting to block Nabric's path.  Nabric smiled to himself as the path became a bit thinner, leaving little room for him to pass.  He concentrated hard now, waiting for the opportune moment.  Now.  He moved hard to the side and the other pilot did the same.  Nabric immediately moved to the other side now and shot forward, passing the pod.  He waved at the driver, seeing the drives mouth move as if he were cursing.  Meh, can't blame him.

Nabric moved ahead even further, only one more pod to pass before he would be in first place.  Almost there.  He was now toe-to-toe with the leading pilot, the pods side by side.  The other pilot was calm and collected--almost to calm.  This concerned Nabric as he kept his eyes and mind on the prize, the victory so close that he could taste it.  "You are pretty good." said the pilot beside him.  "To bad you wont make it to the finish.  Watch this."  The pilot moved his vehicle to the side, as he pulled out a device from his pocket.  Nabric stared at him, looking at the small object he held in his hand.  A detonator.  The pilot pressed the switch, the area in front of him erupting into a colossal flame, consuming everything that was in its present location.  The pilot smiled as he made his way closer to the finish line.  He was only a short distance away now, the faint outline of a crowd appearing.  He slowed down a bit, wanting to savor the moments before his soon to be victory.

Out of nowhere, Nabric pulled to the right, moving in front of the cheating pilot.  He had anticipated the explosion and had moved to the side onto a different path.  Nabric took the finish, the crowd cheering wildly at the feat that had been made by Nabric before them.  Nabric leaped out of the pod, wanting to take his credits and get out as fast as he could as a man approached him.  The man was as tall as he was, blue eyes, trying to blend in with his attire.  Despite this, he stuck out like a sore thumb; there was something about him that Nabric could sense.  He walked up to Nabric, pulling him aside from the crowd as Nabric grabbed his credits.  Who the heck is this guy.  "You did great out there." he said.  His voice was low and very serious; he meant business.  "I was wondering if you could join us.  We sure could use you."  Nabric stared at him questioningly, the man being very vague in his statement.

"Join you where?" he asked.  He was restless, and he needed to get home.  Stephanie ran towards him, leaping onto him and giving him a huge hug.  The man waited until she was finished, Nabric telling her to take the credits and go back home.  She nodded and started off, skipping in joy at what had just happened.

"Join us in the Imperial Naval Academy.  We need more pilots like you.  If you are interested," he said, "a transport ship leaves in an hour about two miles east of where you live.  Bring only a few things, as you will be given new clothing when and if you arrive."  The man nodded and turned, walking off back into the distance.  What the hell was that?  Nabric went into an all out sprint towards his destination, wanting to see how his mother was doing.  A feeling of hope was inside of him; a feeling that he had never felt before.  He was happy.

-------Five Minutes Later-------


He arrived a his home, his smile dropping from his face when he entered.  Stephanie was on the floor, sobbing, holding his mother's left hand.  His mother's eyes were wide open, he body now fully pale.  Her eyes were glassy, pristine, like a corpse.  He swallowed, his throat dry.  He was gasping for breath as he fell onto his knees.  He pounded his fists onto the floor, the skin on his hands splitting open.  He screamed, not thinking, yelling whatever came to his mind out for everyone to hear.  Stephanie jumped at him, hugging him yet again, tighter this time, her tears wetting his shoulder.

-------One Hour Later-------


Nabric had said his goodbyes, leaving the money that he had earned with Stephanie.  He had told her that he would come back for her as soon as possible.  The transport ship slowly took off, Nabric being the only one on it.  Deep inside of him, he knew that he was off to a better place.
--------------


Enjoy all.  I look forward to all comments and criticisms.
[This message has been edited by Nabric (edited June 27, 2006 7:19:36 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Nabric (edited June 27, 2006 7:24:43 PM)]
Raigen
ComNet Cadet
 
Raigen
 
[VE-NAVY] Senior Crewman
 
Post Number:  290
Total Posts:  1386
Joined:  Dec 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 7:03:51 PM    View the profile of Raigen 
welcome to the vastest of empires nabric
 
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FM/SCRW Raigen/Aegis 1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (VC:B)
Supreme White Knight of the Reply
Cadet Second Lieutenant Clary
C/2lt Clary, Model Rocketry Officer, LA932 AFJROTC
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Sage
 
Jack Nebulax
 
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 2nd Class
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
 
Post Number:  3028
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  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 7:39:06 PM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
That's my line, Raigen.

Welcome to the Vastest of Empires, pilot.
 
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Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

------------------------------------------------------------
Warrant Officer 2nd Class Jack Nebulax, Nazgul Squadron, Imperial Navy, Vast Empire.
FM/WO2 Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 11 (3-3)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:G]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
------------------------------------------------------------
Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Atrick25
ComNet Initiate
 
Atrick25
 
[VE-NAVY] Leading Crewman
 
Post Number:  121
Total Posts:  380
Joined:  May 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 7:59:00 PM    View the profile of Atrick25 
New navy pilot!

Stay active, because if you don't that bio will go to waste!
 
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NazgulSquadron

FM/LCRW Atrick25/Nazgul-10/Phoenix Wing/[mSSD Artrus]/1VENF]/VEN/VE (=A=)
~Leading Crewman Atrick25~

Nerds stick together! (Until Football Players storm us, because then we run like the girly men we are!)

Why does Darth Vader want cookies?
Krius
ComNet Novice
 
Krius
 
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  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 8:45:54 PM    View the profile of Krius 
Nice Bio man i hope you keep it up. Have a good one.
 
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KaphSquadron
FM/ LCR Krius/ Kaph 8/ Wing 2/ mSSD Atrus/ Pheonix Wing/ VEN/ VE/ (=A=)
Krius=Leon
DJ234
ComNet Member
 
DJ234
 
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 2nd Class
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  RE: Hello
June 27, 2006 8:56:22 PM    View the profile of DJ234 
Welcome to the Navy Pilot
 
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Aegis Squad
I think war might be God's way of teaching us geography~Paul Rodriguez

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
- Sun Tzu
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XO/FL/PO2 DJ234/Aegis-5/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=SA=) [VC:B]
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
 
Shazam
 
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  RE: Hello
June 28, 2006 10:14:56 AM    View the profile of Shazam 
Very good bio man, I really like how descriptive you were.  A few comments, cause that's what I do: Number 1- The podracing bit I'm a little edgy about.  It's your bio, but we try to keep within the history of SW and what is known to be possible for normal people- Aniken Skywalker was supposebly the only Human Podracer and he had premonitions of what was ahead, thus- despite jdi reflexes- he still needed the extra edge.  A normal person like yourself, no matter what piloting skill, would be practically incapable of piloting a podracer at full speed, let along half.  There are other types of dangerous races that occur though- not speeder racing but there's another name for it.  Other than that, all you need is a quick emotional description (how he acts, how he feels and re-acts to everying [happy, sad, insightful, angry]) and a physical description (strength, build...)

After you're satisfied you may move onto Chapter 2- good bio.  Let's see how you do with our information.  Keep rockin.

-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
[This message has been edited by Shazam (edited June 28, 2006 10:15:52 AM)]
Aphamos
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Aphamos
 
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  RE: Hello
June 28, 2006 11:31:48 AM    View the profile of Aphamos 
Here's my (new) bio:

Name:  Nabric Kraell
Callsign:  Nabric
Age:  26
Height:  6' 3"
Weight:  178
Hair Color:  Green
Eye Color:  Black
Skin Color:  Light tan
Place of Birth:  Ryloth

Nabric ran through the dirt roads to his home in Tatooine, hearing the news that his mother was getting even worse now.  She had been sick for a long time now, day after day staying home, trying to hang on to life.  Nabric knew that she didn't have much time left, that she was losing her grasp, death slowly but surly consuming her.  Not right now.  Don't go right now.  He prayed every morning not only for his mother, but for himself also, so that he wouldn't lose control.  As she was dying, Nabric was growing weaker and weaker, having to work harder and longer in order to bring the smallest bit of food home for them to eat.  He kept running, looking forward to see his town in front of him.  Or at least they call it a town.  No part of the desert planet had really been fully colonized by humans, mostly filled with poor moisture farmers and filthy gamblers.  Recently, Nabric had become one of those gamblers, needing another way to make money.  He had actually excelled at it, his predictions now very accurate.  At the end of every week, swoop races would be held at the local "track", Nabric betting a very small amount of what he had earned at his job towards the races.  He had always come out with something, win or loss, most of the time not enough to buy much, but enough to keep them alive.  Nabric was close now, his small hut in sight.  I hope she's alright.  Dammit, she better be alright.

He was strong most of the time, both physically and mentally; he was always the outcast wherever he went.  He didn't speak much, most of the time because he didn't really bother explaining anything to everyone.  His size and demeanor didn't help him fit in either; he was one of the largest people in the area, his many jobs of carrying loads of items making his build very muscular.  He was mostly seen away from the crowd, never socializing or talking to anyone.  No one ever understood his way of thought; no one understood what he was going through at all.  He wasn't the kind of person that could have a very good time, with anyone as a matter of fact; he only felt happy when he accomplished something that others hadn't.

He came to a sudden halt as a speeder sped past him, going full speed, nearly decapitating him.  The driver of the vehicle started to laugh, continuing his path to what appeared to be nowhere.  Dust now blocked his path to his home, Nabric waiting there for a moment, the dirt taking an eternity to clear out.  He coughed once, clearing out his lungs; holding his breath, he stepped through the dust that was looming in the hot air.  Bastard, thought Nabric, now only feet away from his home.  He stepped inside, the sound of coughing entering his ears.  He looked in to see his mother lying on the bed, looking even worse now.  He stepped close to her, pressing his hand to her forehead.  He face was pale, her forehead an inferno.  She smiled a fragile smile at him, the look warming his insides, making him smile.  She's good at that, he though as he went to wet a washcloth.  He pressed the cloth to her forehead, dabbing it on her cheeks as well.  He kept repeating this as she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep, now somewhere safe, away from the real.  He kept the cloth on her forehead, now sitting down beside her and closing his eyes.  His head ached with pain, a pain that hit him hard inside, every minute, banging over and over in his head.  He breathed in and out, calming himself down, the pain slowly fading away.

He turned his head, looking at the door now as Stephanie entered the room.  Nabric stood up as she walked over to his mother and touched her face.  Since Nabric could remember, Stephanie had been, besides his mother, all he had had.  She was his best friend; she was caring, easy to approach, and could relate to Nabric in many ways.  Recently, he had found a liking to her, recognizing her actual beauty.  They had become close, and Nabric appreciated having someone there to talk to.  "She is getting worse, isn't she?" she asked.  Nabric slowly nodded even though he didn't want to.  She looked back to his mother, muttering a short prayer and standing back up.  They both exited the hut and entered the bland, desert landscape.  "I know how you can help her." she said.  "There is a healer coming to town.  He can help her get better."  Nabric looked at her, eyes wide, not believing what he was hearing.  His pessimistic side took the best of him, knowing that something so lucky could never happen to him.  And what's the catch?  "He is very costly.  He said that it will be about two-thousand credits."  Nabric's mouth shot open as he looked at the ground, his predictions correct yet again.  I can get the money, he though to himself, swoop racing.

"Follow me." he said.  The races would begin very shortly, and he needed to get there quickly.  Where the hell am I going to get a swoop?  And how the hell am I going to fly it?

-------Ten Minutes Later-------


They finally arrived at the track.  The stands were filled with both humans and various creatures, all eager to see the race.  The bets hadn't been placed yet, and the pilots were tending to there pods in the station nearby.  Nabric and Stephanie walked to the station, Nabric looking for a vehicle.  Gotta knock out on of these guys.  Nabric felt no emotion now; he had a mission and he was going to fulfill it.  Nabric turned to the right, seeing a man next to his swoop.  He wasn't too big, being easy prey for Nabric as he slowly approached.  Dammit.  I don't want to do this.  He was starting to have second thoughts about what he was planning, thoughts that were soon fought away by his thirst, his desire to help his mother.  He reached the man, trying to act as casual as possible.  Okay, how am I going to do this?  The man looked at him, a blank expression on his face.  "Hey, uh, I have a question about something over here." he said.  "It's about my swoop.  You see, this is my first race, and I don't exactly know what to do."  The man frowned a bit, then started to talk, slowly teaching Nabric how to pilot and control a swoop.  "Thanks.  Hey, can I show you something for a second."  The man hesitated for a moment, then nodded, following Nabric as he led them into a dark corner.  Do it now; this is going to be your only chance.  He looked around to make sure that no one else was watching, and struck the man in the stomach with his knee.  The man bent down, grasping his stomach as Nabric hit him in the neck, knocking him out. 

Dammit!  Why did it have to be this way?  He turned to look at Stephanie, who was now in tears because of what she had seen.  He walked up to her, placing his hand on her shoulder as turned around, heading to their newly acquired vehicle.  The race was moments away from beginning, the pilots moving their vehicles to the starting line.  Nabric looked closely, trying to follow suit.  He stepped up and into the cockpit, turning the swoop on.  The engines roared to life, a surge of energy going through Nabric's body.  This is it.  He looked up into the sky, immediately squinting because of the light.  Give me this one time.  Just this one.  Nothing more, nothing less.  He looked back to the course, examining the track that he was about to enter.  The path was jagged and looked almost impossible to get through.  Further ahead was a cave system, the inside dark and waiting to reveal itself.  Nabric looked around at the other racers.  There were five more of them there, a variety of species that were unknown to Nabric.  He closed his eyes, shutting all the sounds and noises out, entering his own world.  He breath in, then exhaled, hearing his heart beat.  He looked forward now, his gaze filled with concentration.

The race started.  Nabric pushed forward with the controls in his hand, the swoop now moving at all.  The other racers had taken off, the only thing left of them being the dust that loomed over their tracks.  GOD DAMMIT.  His mind was racing, trying to figure out what was going wrong, when it struck him.  The swoop had turned off before the race had started.  Nabric struck the switch, the vehicle starting up again and he pushed forward with the controls, the swoop taking off onto the course.  He wasn't too far behind the other racer, but he still had much ground to cover.  He moved to the side, barely missing a large boulder.  After a few minutes, he entered the cave system, seeing the engines of the driver in front of him.  Rocks were hanging down from the top of the cave that he was in, Nabric having to move from side to side to dodge them.  He ducked, the rock shaving the tip of his helmet.  He looked back up and swerved to the side, almost losing his head to another one of the rocks.  He could see the end of the caves now, getting closer and closer to the racer in front of him.

He exited the caves, squinting again at the change in light.  Only yards away from the speeder in front of him, and what appeared to be a clear path ahead, he sped up, now traveling to the swoop's highest speed.  He passed the vehicle in front of him, the engines of the pods ahead of him now in his sight.  He moved a bit to the left, looking to pass the speeder in front of him.  There were two pods going head to head in front of him, Nabric, speeding up and landing in between them.  Oh shit.  The pilots of the swoops surrounding him signaled to each other, the vehicles moving to the side a bit.  Here it comes.  He waited a second longer, looking for the right time to make his move, and pulled back hard on the handles, the swoops beside him colliding with each other, exploding into a huge pit of fire, debris being sent in all directions.  The swoop behind him flew into the fire as well, creating an even bigger combustion.  Nabric pushed forward again, dodging the explosion.  The path was clear now as he set out full speed, the remaining pods in front of him becoming visible.  He moved directly behind the vehicle in front of him, wanting to test a trick of his.  The pilot of the swoop in front of him looked back, wanting to block Nabric's path.  Nabric smiled to himself as the path became a bit thinner, leaving little room for him to pass.  He concentrated hard now, waiting for the opportune moment.  Now.  He moved hard to the side and the other pilot did the same.  Nabric immediately moved to the other side now and shot forward, passing the speeder.  He waved at the driver, seeing the driver's mouth move as if he were cursing.  Meh, can't blame him.

Nabric moved ahead even further, only one more vehicle to pass before he would be in first place.  Almost there.  He was now toe-to-toe with the leading pilot, the swoops side by side.  The other pilot was calm and collected--almost too calm.  This concerned Nabric as he kept his eyes and mind on the prize, the victory so close that he could taste it.  "You are pretty good." said the pilot beside him.  "To bad you won't make it to the finish.  Watch this."  The pilot moved his vehicle to the side, as he pulled out a device from his pocket.  Nabric stared at him, looking at the small object he held in his hand.  A detonator.  The pilot pressed the switch, the area in front of him erupting into a colossal flame, consuming everything that was in its present location.  The pilot smiled as he made his way closer to the finish line.  He was only a short distance away now, the faint outline of a crowd appearing.  He slowed down a bit, wanting to savor the moments before his soon to be victory.

Out of nowhere, Nabric pulled to the right, moving in front of the cheating pilot.  He had anticipated the explosion and had moved to the side onto a different path.  Nabric took the finish, the crowd cheering wildly at the feat that had been made by Nabric before them.  Nabric leaped out of the swoop, wanting to take his credits and get out as fast as he could as a man approached him.  The man was as tall as he was, blue eyes, trying to blend in with his attire.  Despite this, he stuck out like a sore thumb; there was something about him that Nabric could sense.  He walked up to Nabric, pulling him aside from the crowd as Nabric grabbed his credits.  Who the heck is this guy.  "You did great out there." he said.  His voice was low and very serious; he meant business.  "I was wondering if you could join us.  We sure could use you."  Nabric stared at him questioningly, the man being very vague in his statement.

"Join you where?" he asked.  He was restless, and he needed to get home.  Stephanie ran towards him, leaping onto him and giving him a huge hug.  The man waited until she was finished, Nabric telling her to take the credits and go back home.  She nodded and started off, skipping in joy at what had just happened.

"Join us in the Imperial Naval Academy.  We need more pilots like you.  If you are interested," he said, "a transport ship leaves in an hour about two miles east of where you live.  Bring only a few things, as you will be given new clothing when and if you arrive."  The man nodded and turned, walking off back into the distance.  What the hell was that?  Nabric went into an all out sprint towards his destination, wanting to see how his mother was doing.  A feeling of hope was inside of him; a feeling that he had never felt before.  He was happy.

-------Five Minutes Later-------


He arrived a his home, his smile dropping from his face when he entered.  Stephanie was on the floor, sobbing, holding his mother's left hand.  His mother's eyes were wide open, he body now fully pale.  Her eyes were glassy, pristine, like a corpse.  He swallowed, his throat dry.  He was gasping for breath as he fell onto his knees.  He pounded his fists onto the floor, the skin on his hands splitting open.  He screamed, not thinking, yelling whatever came to his mind out for everyone to hear.  Stephanie jumped at him, hugging him yet again, tighter this time, her tears wetting his shoulder.

-------One Hour Later-------


Nabric had said his goodbyes, leaving the money that he had earned with Stephanie.  He had told her that he would come back for her as soon as possible.  The transport ship slowly took off, Nabric being the only one on it.  Deep inside of him, he knew that he was off to a better place.
--------------


Characteristics:  Very quiet, not to outgoing.  Most of the time in a state of trance; extremely deep thinker and very loyal 
[This message has been edited by Aphamos (edited June 28, 2006 11:32:48 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Aphamos (edited June 28, 2006 6:13:38 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Aphamos (edited June 29, 2006 9:43:14 AM)]
Shazam
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Shazam
 
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  RE: Hello
June 29, 2006 8:02:55 AM    View the profile of Shazam 
Alright man- good change up and I'm glad to see it still works for you. I'd like you to move onto Chapter 2- Pilot Procedure. One thing you still need to include on that bio is physical and mental description- that characteristics bit at the bottom doesn't tell us much. I mean- is he lonely and sad all the time then or can he have a good time? This is like telling people how to describe your character- so if someone knew nothing about your character: how would you describe them. Also, maybe you could just read through it so some simple errors were taken care of "He was now goin..." But you probably meant "He was not going..."  That type of thing- very simple, not a big deal.  Just a question of neatness and such.  You can post the assignment from Chapter Two in here though and I'll review it and get you onto the final chapter. You're doin excellent man- keep rockin.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
Nabric
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  RE: Hello
June 29, 2006 12:22:37 AM    View the profile of Nabric 
The Immelmann Turn
The Immelmann Turn is neither an offensive or a defensive tactic, and is used most often as a way to disengage from the enemy.  In order to execute the maneuver, the pilot must pull the aircraft up into a vertical climb, execute a half loop with the aircraft at the peak of the climb, and then steady the aircraft back into the upright position.

Advantages:  When this maneuver is used correctly in combat (both the actual execution of the tactic, and the follow up after it), it can be a very effective way to disengage from the enemy, as the increase in altitude during the maneuver will be difficult for your enemy to follow with or counter.
Disadvantages:  As stated above, the Immelmann is a maneuver used to flee from the enemy.  When the tactic is used, there is a severe loss of speed during the pull-up and turn phase.  Due to the fact that speed is one of the key factors in play when trying to escape from the enemy, if the maneuver is not executed to its fullest, the enemy can easily follow or shoot the pilot down.

The Spiral Dive
The Spiral Dive is an offensive tactic used as a last resort to shake your enemy and be put into an offensive position.  When your opponent is in an "over-shoot position" in respect to your position, invert the aircraft and pull up, thus, in reality, falling into a steep dive while leading your opponent.  Next, use the barrel roll tactic, creating the spiral effect; end the dive quickly by pulling hard pitch, making sure to control it so that no maneuverability is lost.

Advantages:  When used correctly, this maneuver is a great way to gain the tactical advantage over your opponent and give you the ability to thrown off a shot at them.
Disadvantages:  First off, the aircraft executing the maneuver must have a superior turn radius due to the actions and steps the tactic requires.  Secondly, the enemy will lose his line of fire for only a few moments, and may regain it during their decent into the dive.  Lastly, at the ed of the dive during the "hard pitch" stage, maneuverability can be easily lost, leaving you and easy target for your opponent.
Shazam
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  RE: Hello
June 29, 2006 1:10:58 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Righteous man- looks good.  I think you mixed up offensive and defensive a couple of times, but I think I know what you're talking about.  When you do a spiral dive though, you don't necessarilly have to pull up right away.  You're supposed to find that fighter behind you and slow down on him so he's forced to overshoot- if you pull out to early there's no saying you did anything at all.  So, you give it a little time, almost enough for him to re-aquire you, then you drop speed and it's up to the enemy if they can catch it on time and maneuver correctly. 

Can't wait to see what you do for Chapter three now, man.  You're doing excellent- rock on.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
Nabric
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  RE: Hello
July 18, 2006 11:41:12 PM    View the profile of Nabric 
Nabric continued to stare at the wall, as he had done the entire night.  He kept telling himself that he would get up, but he couldn't; he didn't have the strength, and furthermore, he didn't really feel like standing up.  He had been hadn't slept much since he had arrived at the Empire's Naval Academy, for he was too busy with his work; they were shoving him into and pulling him out of continuous training programs for various things, and he just didn't have the time for such a "trivial" thing.  He didn't sleep often back home on Tatooine either because of his multiple jobs, so he was used to the feeling.  Sleep is for the weak, he thought to himself.  Every time he closed his eyes he thought of his home; his mother, Stephanie, all the other things that he had left behind.  Every time he opened them, all the new, better things that he had gained rushed through his mind.  He was constantly contradicting himself, questioning whether he had done the right thing.  He knew that this would happen when he arrived; he knew that he would have second thoughts.  He pushed his fingers into his eyes, trying to relieve himself of the pain.  Pressure slowly lifted from him, the movement slowly calming him down. 

Just for one minute.  He closed his eyes, hesitating for a moment, then leaning back on his chair.  He needed to block out the thoughts of his home, but whenever he tried, they came back.  Images of his mother flashed in his head, finally reaching the image of his mother's corpse, lying there lifeless, pale, on the bed.  Get used to it.  She's not coming back.  He rebuked himself for that last remark, knowing that she was always there with him.  He couldn't bear facing the facts on that matter.  He tried to shake the image out of himself, finally succeeding, the image only to be met by another thing that he cherished.  A picture of Stephanie loomed in his mind, her beauty and radiance massaging him in a sense.  The fact that she was not near him seared him inside, the mere thought paining him.  Every day he thought of a thousand things that he would have told her if he had known that he was going.  A thousand thanks that he would have given his mother for doing everything she had done.  I'll come for her one day.  I'll take her here.  She will like it here.  But I will come.  He mentally nodded to himself, now shutting out all his thoughts, trying to get some sleep.

The alarm sounded, the noise piercing Nabric through the head.  Dammit.  Can't you give me just a SECOND!?!  He shot up, looking at the alarm in front of him.  It was seven o'clock.  Nabric closed his eyes again, this time searching for something.  He recalled having something major to do today.  Some sort of training, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.  His eyes scanned the room, doubling back when he say his uniform lying there on his bed.  Just as he saw his uniform, the thought slapped him in the face.  Crap.  Training.  He leaped out of his chair, running to the bathroom to wash up.  Bah.  I don't have time for this.  He quickly turned on the faucet, splashing the ice cold water in his face.  The water shocked him, sending a surge of energy throughout his body.  He looked into the mirror, seeing his reflection; a shield that was covering what was inside.  He quickly wiped the water off of his face, running back into his room. 

He slid into his uniform, reaching into his pocket for his datapad.  He pulled the device out, turning it on and checking where he should have been five minutes ago.  Hanger 6TG.  He took one last look at the mess that made his room, and then exited, turning to the left and heading up the staircase.  He turned to the right again, sprinting down the hall, only to take another left.  He ran down that hall as well, finally reaching the end.  He straightened himself up, brushing his hand through his uniform to take off some of the dust and straighten the minor wrinkles.  His hand touched his face, Nabric swearing to himself.  He had forgotten to shave.  Wow, great way to start, eh?  Lets not screw up today though, shall we?  He pressed the control next to the door, the entrance sliding open.  He stepped inside the hanger, where a man immediately grabbed his arm.  Nabric turned his head to the right, now face to face with him.  "I would appreciate if you would let go now." said Nabric, his voice calm and commanding.  The man stared hard into Nabric's eyes, slowly taking his hand away.  He was much smaller then Nabric, much shorter with a smaller build.  He had long, brown hair, a faint gottee on his face.  Nabric looked at the man's uniform, seeing his badge.  A line captain.  Nabric immediately saluted, straightening his back, staring at the area above the man.

"That's more like it.  And I would appreciate if you wouldn't make up wait an eternity," said the man, "just for you to arrive at your training."  Nabric looked at the ground now, nodding.  He was ashamed of himself for being late; this was the first incident where he had not made it to training on time.  "Now follow me."  Nabric looked up now, the man walking towards the only ship in the rather small hanger.  It was a medium size cruiser, nothing to special or distinct about the ship.  Nabric followed the man up the platform leading to the inside of the ship, turning to the right as the man pointed to a seat.  Nabric moved to the seat, looking around at the inside of the craft.  The positions of the other seats were unusual to him, two other seats, one on each side, and also one in front of him, facing him.  There were two other people on board, on sitting on Nabric's right, and one on his left.  Nabric nodded at each of them, both of them returning the greeting.  He sat down now, the door to his left closing as the walking platform started to fold.  The man took the seat in front of Nabric, the ship now starting to take off.  Nabric closed his eyes, breathing in and out deeply.  I hate when they do this.  He had never had a smooth takeoff or landing in his life, but he had learned how to control himself so that he wouldn't have to throw up.

The man in front of him cleared his throat, the Nabric and the two other men now facing him.  Nabric quickly looked out the window, the ground slowly fading away as they gained altitude.  They were now surrounded by darkness, white dots littering their surroundings.  Nabric continued to stare into the vacuum, the sight mesmerizing him.  He blinked a few times, finally turning around and facing the man in front of him.  "Thank you." the man said, directing the thanks to Nabric.  "Now, for introductions, my name is Ryncho Denar.  You can call me Desus, or Desus One, whichever you prefer.  I would let you introduce yourselves, but seeing as how we are close to our destination, I won't waste any time.  We are being escorted to the Interceptor-class Cruiser Perser Summit.  There you will get into your suit and hop onto a Tie Interceptor which you will use to enter the surrounding space.  You will be direct from there in terms of specifics, but as far as an overview goes, you will be performing both basic and advanced flight maneuvers, target practice.  Any questions?"  Before the man to Nabric's right could raise his hand, Denar quickly continued.  "No questions?  Good.  Well, here we are."

Nabric looked outside, the ships surroundings now being the inside of a ship.  The ship landed with a silent thump, as a hiss sound resonated through the interior of the ship.  Nabric slowly came to his feet, a bit shaky, even after a flight of that length.  The three men surrounding him stood as well, all four of them heading to the exit.  The door hissed open, Nabric lightly stumbling down the ramp and onto the larger ship.  They were in the hanger, three Tie Interceptors next to them.  "Follow me." said Denar.  The three men filed behind him, Denar leading them out of the hanger and into a room just next to it.  A row of Imperial space suits filled the wall in front of them, each with all the appropriate items.  "Each of you get into one of those, and then report to the hanger."  Nabric nodded, heading towards the suit directly in front of him.  Taking his shirt off, he started to put on the uniform, the men around him doing the same.  He took off the rest of his clothes, putting on the last parts of his uniform and placing his helmet under his arm.  The room was dead silent, none of the men wanting to make the first move.  Bah.  I'll do it them.

"I'm Nabric." he stated, blandly.  He was looking at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with either of them.  He wouldn't usually have made an introduction like that, but he felt it was necessary that time.  "Seeing as we are going to be flying together, I think it would be best if we at least know each other's names."  The man beside Nabric nodded, approaching Nabric and sticking his hand out.

"My name is Sarc." he said, offering Nabric a warming smile.  Nabric shook the man's hand, looking back to the other man.

"I'm Jake." he said, no emotion in his voice.  He walked past Nabric, exiting the room and entering the hanger.  Sarc looked at Nabric, shrugging, and then following him back to the hanger.  Denar was waiting for them, standing next to a Tie Interceptor.  Nabric walked towards the interceptor, Denar letting go of his stance and walking forward.

"Just a few things before we get started." he said.  "Now, we are currently about the planet of Tauge, a gas planet that is totally uninhabitable due to its highly unstable atmosphere.  As far as that goes, don't get to close to it.  Now, if worse comes to worse, and you need to eject from your ship, there is a small emergency craft stationed about one thousand meters away from you.  The coordinates will be instantly sent to you if you need them.  Now, since we are running formations and such, I have designated Nabric to be your temporary flight leader.  Don't flatter yourself, this isn't anything to special."  Nabric smiled for a second, looking at the fighters around him.  "I think that's about it.  Pick a fighter and get in."  Nabric moved to the fighter in the center, boarding it as if it were second nature.  He waited until the others had entered their fighters before he took off, entering the blackness known as space.

--------------


"Now, let's first try out a 'break turn'." said Denar over the intercom.  "Nabric, you are the flight leader here, and Sarc, you will be the wingman.  Jake, you will be the enemy in this situation.  Enter formation now."  Nabric and Sarc separated from Jake, Jake holding back and moving to the right of Nabric, Sarc, moving to the right as well.  They were in the correct formation now, Nabric adjusting the intercom so that he would be talking directly to Sarc. 
"Alright, we are in position now." said Nabric.  "Branch to the right on my mark."  Just as Nabric said that, Jake took a sharp turn to the left, now on the left of Nabric.  "New plan, left now.  MARK!"  Nabric moved the controls sharply to the left, his fighter veering to the left, Jake loosing his sight on Nabric's ship.  Sarc did the same, staying roughly the same distance from Nabric through the entire turn.  "Nice flying there."  Sarc chuckled over the intercom, the trio flying back in "V" formation, Nabric being in the center.  Denar ordered them to try the maneuver again, this time with Sarc as the opponent and Jake as Nabric's wingman.

They finally completed that maneuver, Denar's voice taking over the intercom.  "Now let's try a different one." he said.  "A barrel roll.  Sarc, you take a break for now.  Nabric, you and Jake will execute the maneuver the first time, and next will be Jake and Sarc.  Nabric moved forward, Jake right beside him.  "Jake, you will fly straight this first time, Nabric, you will execute the actual maneuver.  It is your choice whether to use it defensively or offensively, depending on the position of your fighter."  Nabric nodded to himself, moving into position next to Jake.  "Whenever you are ready."  Nabric sped his craft up, now ahead of Jake.  He quickly moved up, starting to circle Jake; he moved the control to the side, then down, to the left, then back up, moving around the enemy craft; at the same time, curving their path so that he would have the offensive position.  Jake was now ahead of him, in clear sight of Nabric.  "Well done.  Now switch positions."  Nabric now moved in a straight path behind Jake, who soon executed the maneuver, Nabric now being ahead of him.  "Nice job again.  Now switch partners."  Nabric slowed down, Sarc plunging ahead of him.  A minute or so later, they were finally finished with that maneuver, taking their place back in their "V" formation.

"Now for your last maneuver." said Denar.  "An Immelmann Turn.  Spread out from each other and complete the maneuver on your own."  Nabric sped up to get ahead of the others, Sarc and Jake branching off, each in their own positions.  Nabric inhaled deeply, and then exhaled, calming his rather tense muscles.  He pulled up, his craft now heading up, then turned, his craft flipping.  He pushed forward now, his craft, straightening out.  He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.  Immelmanns always did this to him; he didn't know why, but they made him feel a bit unusual, a shiver going down his spine.  "Nice job people.  Now lets move on to your last exercise.  Some target practice.  Up ahead you will see three hovering canisters for each of you.  Shoot each of them down, then report back to the hanger."  Nabric sped ahead again, seeing his three targets in the area ahead of him.  He aimed his fighter at the first one, locking on and firing.  They second one was only meters ahead, giving him little time to aim.  He quickly moved his fighter in position, firing again and knocking down the second canister.  Last one.  He tried to find the last, canister, scanning the area around him for it.  Damn thing.  Where is it?  He looked up, seeing the canister above him.  He quickly pulled up, noticing that the last canister wasn't like the others.  This one was firing back.  Three shots barely missed Nabric's fighter, Nabric spiraling his fighter, getting three shots off, all of them being direct hits.

--------------


Nabric exited the Tie Interceptor, walking towards Denar, who was there waiting for the three pilots.  "Nice job everyone." he said, a huge smile on his face.  Now time for the next part of your training.  Atmospheric."
Shazam
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Shazam
 
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  RE: Hello
July 19, 2006 10:08:48 AM    View the profile of Shazam 
Excellent, excellent.  A couple of things though, and I think I kind of predicted they might come up...  Anywho 1.  When you talk about space combat you want to always include location, where you are from a certain land mark so people know how far you've ventured out- it creates more of a picture basically.  In atmophere its a little easier because you can use the horizon and "this is the ground" vs "this is the air" type of stuff.  What you were doing was simply saying 'I did this by doing this and this and that..."  While its a good sequencing, there is no picture there.  So- try to paint that by giving us some better idea of location and maybe including more description along the way so its not all just at the beginning. 

2.  You'd actually fly a couple of times out in space before you were allowed to go into atmosphere.  Also- if your pilot has problems with landings, lol- he's in for a rude awakening when it comes to atmospheric flight.  Interceptors are excellent, yes, and very aerodynamic, but you're probably going to feel an air bump or two- so he should be ready for that.

Other than that- pretty darn good man.  Good to see you can write, man.  Can't wait for your other stuff- rock on.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
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