Are you ready for it?

I'm getting impatint with my special guest stars so I'm just going to put what I got up for you all to enjoy.

Without further delay Varneck Inheritor Nergal Plot Discontinuity.

Varneck Inheritor Nergal Episode Plot Discontinuity
Dubbed in Basic

This Week.s Special Guest Stars:
Swomz
Dawk .Cosmic. Rahooney
Anakin

The scene opens outside a movie theater showing a Varneck Inheritor Nergal Marathon.  Swomz, Cosmic, and Anakin are waiting in line to buy their tickets.  The line is long and shows little signs of moving.  It is a blistering hot day on the world of Endoven and the smell of the crowds is beginning to become quite unappealing.  Finally the trio decide to break the stalemate and force their way to the front of the line.

"You're just in time for Varneck Inheritor Nergal, Plot Discontinuity.  Wait that's this episode isn't it?  Hello Mr. Camera man."  The annoyingly high-pitched bubbly teenage girl working the ticket booth said as the trio approached.

As the trio made their way to their seats the opening credits for Varneck Inheritor Nergal begin.

***Begin Varneck Inheritor Nergal opening credits***
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

***End Varneck Inheritor Nergal opening credits***

Varneck Inheritor Nergal Episode Plot Discontinuity
Dubbed in Basic

This Week.s Special Guest Stars:
Ramon Stonefish
Jingo Yatani
Anakin

The scene opens outside a movie theater showing a Varneck Inheritor Nergal Marathon.  Swomz, Cosmic, and Anakin are waiting in line to buy their tickets.  The line is long and shows little signs of moving.  It is a blistering hot day on the world of Endoven and the smell of the crowds is beginning to become quite unappealing.  Finally the trio decide to break the stalemate and force their way to the front of the line.

"You're just in time for Varneck Inheritor Nergal, Plot Discontinuity.  Wait that's this episode isn't it?  Hello Mr. Camera man."  The annoyingly high pitched bubbly teenage girl working the ticket booth said as the trio approached.

As the trio made their way to their seats the opening credits for Varneck Inheritor Nergal begin.

***Begin Varneck Inheritor Nergal opening credits***
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

***End Varneck Inheritor Nergal opening credits***

"Get on with it already."  The audience glared angrily at the assistant writer.

Operation Make Reality Botch
7th May 2200
18:00
T-minus 3:45:00 until Operation commencement

Bridge of the Nergal is bustling with the activity of a fully panicked crew.  They had just received their orders.  They were to use their new reality bender for the first time ever.  To make matters worse there seemed to be some sort of malfunction within the reality bender module.

"Captain this is hopeless.  In areas we have no gravity and in others there are electrical shorts that'll fry my men before they even get a city block."  Mr. Aniston shouted from his holographic portrait.

"Our pilots aren.t doing so well either.  Some are seeing ghosts."  Mr. Celchu added from behind Tina.

The scene switches to the hatav hanger where Generic En Pee See is on the ground kneeling with the other two Generic En Pee sees and hanger ninja crew gathered behind her.  Three is wearing some sort of headband and waving a Shinto orthodox prayer stick over a small pile of burning incense.

"Spirits be gone.  Spirits be gone.  SPIRITS BE GONE!"  Three chanted as she startled the other pilots and ninja crewmen.

"We have no choice.  We must proceed to our objective point.  We need to slow down the enemy fleet and make sure they are where we need them to be."  Tina replied.

T-minus 3:00:00

Nergal briefing room.

Talon is standing in the doorway while Argon is at the front of the briefing room.  Daishi and the Generic En Pee Sees are occupying the front row of seats.  Narm is standing at the back left side corner.

"The two teams will each go on a separate route to gain access to the Reality Bender's control computer and ascertain what is wrong and try to fix it.  It is imperative that it be fixed before we reach this point or this entire operation will be a failure."  Argon bluntly laid out the plan.

T-inverse the derivative of the square of Quack
Mind linked poker

Sitting around a poker table laying out cards (in clockwise order starting from noon) Geist, Daishi, Tina, Narm, Generic En Pee See One, Generic En Pee See Two, Generic En Pee See Three, Talon, and an unknown male vampire.

"Can I be let out now?"  The unknown male vampire pleaded with Geist.

"No.  Now go back to your corner before I have to use this."  Geist replied as he held up a rather odd looking cylindrical device that somehow resembled a tampon applicator.

"If I have to ask do I really want to know?"  Daishi automatically used his get out of a numb/painful spot in his brain situation line.

"Long story.  This means though somehow our minds have been linked together.  Now if I could figure out why we're all playing poker I could explain everything."  Geist said as he raised the pot 50 ic.s.

"Probably because poker is the only thing we all enjoy."  Talon replied.

"I used to hang around some Gaussian casinos for a while when I was still nothing more then a ghost."  Tina replied when Geist started looking at her trying to figure out why she would enjoy poker.

"Well if we're here who is in our bodies?"  Narm asked before Daishi could raising his own 50 ic.s.

"Probably the repressed portions of our personalities."  Geist replied.

"AH (expletive deleted).  I'll never live this down.  I'll never get to live out my lifelong ambition of driving a TIE Crawler through a crowded pedestrian mall now."  Narm cried as his head hit the table.

T-minus 2:45:00
Nergal Bridge

The Generic En Pee Sees just stood their drool coming out of their mouths.  Eyes glazed over.  By all rights they should actually be dead as no one even could find a pulse or feel the breath.  Yet they were still alive.

"Ray our spares are useless.  Proceed to Central Spaatti and wake up the next three."  Argon said from a heavily shadowed chair that over looked the rest of the bridge.

"Yes sir."  Ray Baker replied as the camera kept strictly to a close up of the man in his mid forties face.

As Ray Baker walked too quickly away from the camera for the operator to adjust his angle a flash of the drag that Ray Baker was wearing was caught on screen and etched forever into the minds of those who were watching.

The corridors were strangely empty whenever Ray was on board.  He often wondered why his love Robert never came to see him when Ray made all the effort to get on board.

As Ray arrived at Central Spaatti the Guards that normally stood in front of the access doors were missing.  Ray waved his hand and the door opened and he floated in.

In front of Ray were three sets of huge rows of Spaatti cloning cylinders that stretched beyond the eye could see.  The left most bank was filled with clones of Generic En Pee See One.  The middle bank was filled with Generic En Pee See Twos.  The last bank was filled with, of course, Generic En Pee See Three.

Ray walked to one of each of the cylinders and waved his hand in front of each and they began to open.  Handing each an uniform the jiggle counter appears in the lower right hand corner of the screen and screams to 25 jiggles from the close ups of three very attractive women putting on their skin tight uniforms.

T-minus 3:30:56
Outside Daishi.s quarters

Merrick was waiting for him.  She knew he would be here in just a few moments.  Sure enough he was.

"You know there is a way to tie up the enemy make things easier for yourself and the captain.  You could bosan jump right into the enemy fleet and raise all sorts of havoc before they could even react."  Merrick said as soon as Daishi came into view.

"Fine.  Whatever just to make you leave me alone.  I don't want to be your test subject.  So after this leave me alone."  Daishi said as he entered his quarters.

"I'd like to be a part of this experiment too."  Talon said from the far side of the corridor.

T-inverse the derivative of the square of Quack
Mind linked poker

"So if this is just the linking of our minds then that brings up the interesting question of should we bother keeping track of our wins and losses?"  Master said from the spot that was vacated by the vampire.

"You're only asking that because the only game you're good at is sabacc and are in the hole 10,000 ic's."  Daishi replied.

Talon just laughed at this exchange as he won another round.  Tina actually seemed to be the dominant one but Geist, Daishi, and Talon had managed to hold their own so far.

"You could trade dirty little secrets too if you start running out of money since our minds are linked."  Geist chided.

T-minus 3:46:45
Briefing Room

"It is imperative that we reach this point on time.  Since our Munchion cannon will not be up to the task we will have to find some other means of destroying the enemy fleet."  Argon said feeling a little confused that the beginning of the briefing was coming after the end of the briefing.

"Instead we will use the newly attached Y-unit which is powered by a mostly dead guy on a motorcycle that we found onboard one day.  He seems to be able to do something called making reality botch its paradox roll, whatever that means."  Geist added from his holographic projection.

T-minus 1:20:00
Deep space

Daishi and Talon's hatavs hung out in space waiting for their signal to go.

"Ah frak.  Why am I waiting?  Catch you on the flip side."  Daishi said as he flicked out of scene.

"You little punk."  Talon seethed with anger and began ripping his hair and clothes in blind anger.

Daishi ran amok from ship to ship breaking guns and engines as he saw fit then returned to the Nergal.

T-minus 2:20:00
Y module access room

"From here there are two different ways to the control computer.  Since the gravity is out and there are severe electrical surges we've made these special bicycles.  They've got insulation and gyros built right in.  There's one for each of you."  Mr. Aniston said to the assembled pilots.

"Did you have to make mine pink with tassels from the handle bars and a bell?"  Daishi said as he held up his bike.

"Afraid so.  It was the assistant writer's idea and Ray's.  He said you would look dashing on it."  Mr. Aniston replied.

"At least yours doesn't have a basket on the front too."  Talon moped as he help up his.

T-minus 2:19:00
Corridor 1

Daishi, Talon, and Generic En Pee See Three were riding down the corridor on their bicycles toward the control computer.

"Come on, let's pump those pedals if we want to get there before we're all old and gray."  Daishi said as he peddled faster.

"I wish pedals weren't the only things you were pumping."  Generic En Pee See replied.

"Isn't a little late for you to get there before you.re old and gray?"  Talon added not paying attention to Generic En Pee See Three.

"I said all of us."  Daishi replied.

"I know we could have a race and whoever gets there first could claim a prize from the losers."  Talon said with all the speaking ability of an eight year old.

"I'm game.'  Daishi replied.

"There is plenty of me to go around."  Generic En Pee See Three said from the rear.

T-minus 2:19:00
Corridor 2

Narm, Generic En Pee See One, and Generic En Pee See Two stood behind and to each side of Narm.  They approached the doors to the Y unit.

"LOVE!"  Narm shouted in a high-pitched voice as the door obviously cowered in fear at the being of pure love that was now in front of it.

"I'm scared."  Generic En Pee See 2 said.

"Me too."  Generic En Pee See One said as she watched a previously non-functioning door yield to Narm.

"Don't worry ladies my love will counter any fears you have."  Narm replied as seemed to float down the hallway.

T-minus 2:19:00
Nergal Bridge

"Is it me or are our pilots acting rather strange?"  Aku asked from her spot.

"That's not the half of it."  Argon replied as he watched the three Generic En Pee Sees drooling in the back corner of the bridge.

T-inverse the derivative of the square of Quack
Mind linked poker

"You promised you'd all not laugh."  Master said after loosing another round of poker.

"I'm sorry but still doing that at the age of twenty is pretty funny."  Daishi managed to squeeze out before erupting back into full-blown laughter.

"Deal already."  Master grumbled.

T-minus 2:00:00
Corridor 1

"There it is.  WHOA!!!"  Daishi said as he screeched to a halt.
In front of Generic En Pee See Three was a ghost image of one of her past lovers.  In front of Talon was a ghost image of his older brother.  Facing Daishi was a ghost image of Gai Dai Goji.

"I'm ready to join you it is time."  Three sobbed as she fell through the ghost of her lover.

"Big brother why won't you stop holding me back.  Will I ever be good enough for you?"  Talon chocked out.

"What the *%#?  Who the *%# are you and why are you blocking my path?"  Daishi said in befuddlement.

T-minus 2:00:00
Nergal Bridge

"They are so close why have they stopped?"  Argon said from his elevated dark and creepy command post.

"Too bad Geist isn't around to explain this."  Stormie-chan said from the helm.

T-minus 2:00:00
Uncle Jociam.s Bar & Grill

Geist was dressed in shall we say less than appropriate drag dancing in a manner that no straight man could stomach.  With lost of small denominations of paper money stuffed where no one shall mention by Ray Baker, the only man in the bar, and a few of the more hard up female members of the crew.


T-inverse the derivative of the square of Quack
Mind linked poker

"Explanation?  Did someone say explanation, oh I see the situation in the corridor, right."  Geist said using his super explanation sensing powers.

"Yeah I was about to ask that myself."  Tina added.

"Apparently Generic En Pee See is just plain messed up after loosing two boyfriends right before they decided to get married and that is what is stopping her.  Talon has some unknown older brother and has unresolved issues and lack of self worth.  Daishi just can't forgive himself for the loss of Gerard Cranston but somehow has managed to manifest this other person in his place.  Probably because the writer is running out of gags and the ninja thing has pretty well been done to death.  Oh serving Ninja, bring me another gin and tonic won't you?"  Geist explained more interested in getting back to the poker game.

The serving ninja complied with the request and freshened other drinks at the table while he was at it.

T-minus 1:50:00
Corridor 1

"Enough of this I'm going in."  Daishi said charging through the ghost of Gai Dai Goji.

Daishi charged down the hall kicked the door in to find some pizza-faced nerd hacking at the control computer to the Y-unit.

"So like playing games do you?  How would you like to play 'Don.t wake daddy'?"  Daishi asked rhetohiricaly.

T-minus 0:01:00
Nergal Bridge

"We're coming into firing position now.  Wake John.  It is time."  Argon ordered.

"I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.  IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"  A grumpy old man appeared before Argon.

"Sorry.  We promise to not ask you to do this again for a while."  Argon replied.

"Fine."  The grumpy old man answered.

The Nergal neared it.s destination point and pointed it.s nose toward the enemy fleet.  The seconds began to count down for firing position.

"CAN I SPEND AN EDGE TO REROLL?"  The grumpy old man shouted and watched as reality botched it.s paradox roll.

An old man in a white suit suddenly appeared on the Nergal bridge.

"We're sorry.  In reparations we.ve decided to remove the bulk of the enemy fleet and we promise not to bother you with any more paradox for a while.  Please don.t make any of us have to do something this drastic again."  The old man in the suit said then disappeared.

"Excellent."  John replied before he vanished as well.

T-inverse the derivative of the square of Quack
Mind linked poker

"So aren't you going to explain how we all ended up like this or not?"  Tina said impatiently.

"Unfortunately I can't I've been too busy playing poker to try and figure this thing out.  Chalk it up to one of those things that just shouldn.t be explained."  Geist replied.

T-plus 1:30:00
Uncle Jociam.s Bar & Grill

"Seems weird us sharing our minds like that."  Daishi said.

"Well at least it wasn't as bad as what did happen when our repressed personalities were in control for some of us."  Narm replied as he watched Geist continue to count cash.

Thus ends another exciting adventure for the Crew of the Nergal.

***Begin Closing credits for Varneck Inheritor Nergal***
Total Slaughter
Total Slaughter
I won't leave a single man alive
Laddie daddie duh
Genocide
Laddie daddie duh
An ocean of blood
Let's begin the killing time
***End Closing credits***


Stay tuned for my next project: Varneck Inheritor Nergal: Ground Rules where we'll settle all those pesky questions about Tina, Daishi, and Kuroishi.
 
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Great Death Leader of the Fallen
The Chief Instigator of Pain and Terror
GN Daishi(2LT Kuroishi)
"Victory through terror, terror through infiltration. Redefining pain and suffering since 2000 and damn proud of it."ï¾  Fallen Angels motto.
"And the sound of many heads hitting many solid objects was heard throughout the land." me