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Topic:  A Question About Ninjas
Bloodhound
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  A Question About Ninjas
May 20, 2013 11:03:58 PM    View the profile of Bloodhound 
Uh, so I found this in my google docs slush pile. It's something a coworker asked me a long long time ago and seems to often make an interesting moral debate.


If your family were kidnapped by ninjas. Not real ninjas, that’s silly, but hollywood/anime ninjas. Alright, so your family is kidnapped. By Ninjas. The ninjas are important, dammit. So, your family and everyone you care about is gone and suddenly a rival ninja clan swoops in and promises to train you to be a fully fledged ninja and help you rescue your family. However, this is the question, the real, awesome question, when that’s completed you have to stay with the ninjas for the rest of your life and never see your family again. Would you accept or decline their offer?
I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all. 
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Hades
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 20, 2013 11:06:59 PM    View the profile of Hades 
depends. Is there another way to rescue them?

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Bloodhound
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 20, 2013 11:07:55 PM    View the profile of Bloodhound 
For this exercise: No.
I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all. 
-Richard Wright
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 20, 2013 11:09:36 PM    View the profile of Hades 
ninjas here i come..

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'And who are you,' the proud lord said, 'that I must bow so low?'

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Garryll Gates
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 20, 2013 11:12:38 PM    View the profile of Garryll Gates 
I believe we had an hour-long discussion when you asked this on IRC a year or two back. I believe I answered with 'Ninjas' for 'moral' reasons. Also, being a ninja would kind of kick ass.

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Gurlanin
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 21, 2013 5:25:43 AM    View the profile of Gurlanin 
Forget my family: I just want to be a Ninja.
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Kami
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 21, 2013 10:14:28 AM    View the profile of Kami 
Can the ninjas be pirates? Because then, obviously, my answer would be yes.
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Jager
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 21, 2013 6:54:11 PM    View the profile of Jager 
Lets break this down into its parts.

1- You had a family
2- Ninja's stole your family (Lets call them Clan 1)
3- Different Ninja's (Clan 2) offer to train you to beat Clan 1.

The Ninja, by their very nature, are fickle and conniving men. You cant trust them. For all you know, this is an elaborate setup by Clan 1 to lure out Clan 2 or vice-versa.

The way I see it, you have two paths.

Path 1; Earn Clan 2's trust. Then kill them. I point to the historically accurate Biopic of "Batman Begins" as proof that a Ninja's natural enemy is the complete decimation of his winter fortress.

After foolishly saving the life of your mentor, but not before killing everyone else, take proof that they are dead back to Clan 1 (if said clan hasn't come out to congratulate you, by which time you can reveal to them you knew all along that this was a ruse)

Still high off your blood lust, despatching the surviving clan should be easy enough.


Path 2; Polygamy. Start a second family. There is a good chance Clan 1 will attempt to kidnap them as well. When that happens, start a third and a fourth. Continue to feed your families to the ninja clan. Around the tenth or eleventh kidnapping, the Ninja clan should be struggling to feed everyone.

Weakened by their hunger and hubris, it is only a matter of waiting until winter rolls around for the Ninja to starve and freeze.

Problem solved.

This is all covered in my book "A time travellers guide to surviving: Feudal Japan".
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Raziel
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 21, 2013 11:11:32 PM    View the profile of Raziel 
Best post ever.
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 22, 2013 1:04:29 AM    View the profile of Trykon 
Yeah, wow.  Jager wins. 
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Dusk
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  RE: A Question About Ninjas
May 22, 2013 1:16:43 AM    View the profile of Dusk 
step one, become pirate
step two, cannon
step three, boom
step four, steal everything they own

fool proof plan
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