Frankly, I haven't found being a part of the Vast Empire to be fun for a while now - it just leaves me tired, drained and feeling frankly depressed.

So I'm going to take a big step back.

When I can look at the VE without going "Oh crikey, do I have to do this?", I might return.

'Till then, I'd say 'it's been fun', but...

Sorry to see you go, Dunny, but if you are feeling that way its best to take a break.  Know that you are always welcome to come back when you want to!

As the others have said, take whatever time you need.  I'll hold off on any permanent roster changes for now, and see how you feel over the coming days and weeks.

I know exactly where you're coming from, Dunny. I'm going through depression myself, at the moment.

Just take it steady. Do what you feel you can do, but don't push yourself too hard. No-one here is going to take it against you.

And I think I speak for everyone when I say that of course we'll have you back!

Truth is, sir, there's nothing more to it: no big super secret reason that I'm too afraid to hide from the rest of the VE at large.

It was simply a dozen little stresses that proved too much for me to handle: The massive workload I assigned myself with the VENA reforms, the already considerable duties as SCO of the most successful Starfighter Squadron in the VE (Woo Chlovi!) and the stress of constantly having to recruit and re-adjust things when the 50th's command structure fell apart without warning had me stressed and, generally, not enjoying things.

I guess I was really banking on using the time between War and Death to recharge and recover. I figured if I had a week to catch up, adjust the roster, give the team a good pat on the back and take a much-needed break, then I'd be fine to continue. Problem was, that Death kicked off almost immediately...leaving me burnt out, stressed and really /not/ looking forward to what the future held. I was in no fit state to continue my duties.

Combine that with the fact that my home is /not/ a comfortable or friendly atmosphere to live in, because my sister and stepdad are constantly fighting, mum can't (or won't) interfere and I'm caught smack-bang in the middle, as well as the additional stress of trying unsuccessfully to gain employment for close to a year now, despite studying hard, and you have one unstable person under a lot of stress.

Frankly, I was worn out and stressed to the point where even the thought of the VE just reminded me of all the stress and pressure I was feeling, and in the end, it was way too much for me to handle.

At the time, getting out wasn't merely the best option available to me: It was, as far as I could see, the ONLY option available to me. So I did. I posted leave, removed the VE and all its sub-pages from my bookmarks list, and breathed a little sigh of relief. I acknowledge that my leave post was harsh, bordering on even being rude. I offer no excuses - I've explained how I was doing emotionally at the time, and I'll leave it at an acknowledgement that I could have handled it better.

The truth is, even now, my emotional state is not all that much better. I've had some time to recover a little, but the situation is far more complex than a mere VE issue, and I /am/ getting psychological and even psychiatric help IRL in order to address these issues. I've also asked a couple of people I really trust to let me know when they see the warning signs that lead to a breakdown, and force me to take a break before I burn myself out again.

I'm also going to be eliminating as much stress as possible, both IRL and in the VE. I'm looking into moving out, and I am formally resigning from both VENI and VENA. I humbly request to be re-activated as a Flight Member of the 50th Vast Imperial Starfighter Squadron. I'm not one for humility, and the thought of swallowing my pride and admitting I'm not up to the job of command anymore is causing a panic attack right now, but I feel it is the right thing to do.

So there it is, VE. As cliche as it sounds, it's not you: It's me.

I appreciate where you're coming from, Dunny.  And I'm encouraged that you're taking steps to cut potential stressors irl and here in the VE.  I also thank you for acknowledging that the way in which you chose to leave the club this most recent time was a bit unskillful, and I think you're brave to lay out all the reasons why you did what you did. 

At the same time, though, I'm concerned that you seem unwilling or unable to abide by the chain of command.  I asked you to PM the NHC, so we could work out this issue with a minimum of additional OOC drama.  You've sent a brief PM, now, but you also willfully chose to use this thread to explain yourself, rather than your PM.  That's in direct opposition to what I asked.

You know me.  I'm not big on pulling rank and I'm uncomfortable applying militaristic flourishes to my OOC communications with my fellow members.  But the club has a hierarchical structure for a reason, Dunny.  Folks earn their leadership positions here, based not only on their IC contributions but also on their OOC qualities and actions.  The club works, because A) it's a meritocracy, where the people most committed to perpetuating this fun little fan club are rewarded with ever-more responsibility, and because B) people follow mutually-agreed-upon rules, or they are no longer welcome.

When you asked to come back to the Navy, after being banned from the VEA, I agreed only on the condition that you would not bring any more OOC drama to this club.  Throughout this most recent departure-and-requested-return, you have violated your half of that bargain.  Repeatedly.


Given everything that has happened, here is my new offer to you:

1.) Your request to be relieved of extraneous responsibilities - VENI and VENA work, as well as a leadership position within the SC - is granted.  If you return, you will return as a Flight Member in the Starfighter Corps.

2.) In light of your repeated refusals to follow the instructions of your superiors, and in accordance with the "Sentencing Guidelines" governing violations of the Vast Empire Axiom, you will be demoted one full rank.  If you return, you will return as a Master Chief Petty Officer.

3.) Since this current incident is coming after many, many others, this will be your very last chance at VE membership.  You will be on probation, for a period of not less than one full calendar year.  Any OOC drama - of any kind - that you are found to have contributed to during that period will result in immediate disciplinary action, and will be sentenced as a Class III offense, according to the Axiom.  That means that even if you just write a poorly-phrased sentence on IRC that rubs another member the wrong way, that little slip up could be grounds for Suspension (a temporary ban), Discharge (having to start again from scratch in terms of rank/position), or even Expulsion (permanent ban).  If you return, you will return with just one last chance to prove yourself to be a team player.




Those are the Naval High Command's terms, Dunny.  Accept responsibility for your actions and move on with the VEN, or choose to permanently leave the VE altogether.  As your friend and someone who wants to see this place be as inclusive and fulfilling as possible, I hope you choose to try again.  As the Chief of Naval Warfare, responsible for official division storylines and for making sure the Starfighter Corps and Fleet Command function smoothly, though, I've been stretched to the limits of my patience: whichever option you choose, I'm confident the Navy will thrive.

You may send a private message to myself, StOrMz, and Drac to reply.  This leave thread has become enough of a sideshow already, and it is hereby closed.