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Topic:  Roworth Hunter Agency - Legent Zardine
Zeshaun
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Zeshaun
 
[VE-ARMY] Corporal
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  571
Total Posts:  896
Joined:  Oct 2008
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  Roworth Hunter Agency - Legent Zardine
April 27, 2009 7:28:23 PM    View the profile of Zeshaun 
Zeshaun awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of his data pad buzzing furiously on his bedside table. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and grabbed the data pad this better be good. He clicked the new message button and Gres’ face popped up. Zeshaun was taken aback for a moment, he had not seen his old friends face in ages, and ever since joining the Vast Empire he had not received word very often about his old mercenary group. He was also surprised to see Balt step into the picture, another old friend from the same mercenary group.

“Zesh, how you doin’?” Gres asked.

“I’m doing great, “Zeshaun answered excitedly completely
forgetting that his friends had just waked him up in the middle of the night.

“Good to hear, Balt and I have a proposition to make to you.”

“Shoot.” Zeshaun said, interested in what they would suggest.

“We got an offer to capture this guy.” Gres held up a wanted poster, The name read Legent Zardine   “Thought you might be interested in joining us since he’s supposed to be hanging out in Coruscant.”

Zeshaun thought carefully, he didn’t have any missions coming up and his vehicle crewman classes had been postponed for a week due to the illness of Colonel Kidd. Why not Zeshaun thought. He agreed to meet them at the hangar the next afternoon, he went back to sleep hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep before he went out to see his friends.
He woke the next morning, and started to pack, because of the midnight interruption he had slept in later than usual and it was already 10 o’clock. He grabbed his berserker rifle, his array of pistol’s and a submachine gun. He opted to go with his black squad armor, but didn’t feel like going to the armory so he decided to go with his Ubese Raider armor that he had picked up in Tatooine on his last trip there. He clasped on all the armor and carried the helmet at his side. He left his room, turning off all the lights and locking the door.

He arrived at the hangar, and the shuttle was already waiting for him. Gres and Balt stood outside the ramp, chatting. As soon as they noticed Zeshaun had entered the hangar, they rushed over to him, embracing him. They quickly exchanged a few major details about their current life then boarded the shuttle, the Akodo’s Fire; the star destroyer was orbiting the planet, waiting for their arrival before jumping to Coruscant. The shuttle ride was short and uneventful, he felt happy to step foot on his old ship again. He saw some new faces and some old faces as he was escorted to the bridge; as soon as they were situated they jumped to hyper space, preparing for anything they would encounter on Coruscant. The three friends caught up with each other during the trip, Zeshaun felt very at home on the ship and with his hold mates again.
They arrived at Coruscant, docked the star destroyer at one of the space stations and took two shuttles down to the surface. They arrived safely, without any commotion and unloaded, Zeshaun counted 12 members in total. 

“Why do we need so many men?” He asked, not sure why they needed more than just the three of them to catch one guy.

“The flyer says, armed and dangerous.” Gres explained, “Just in case.”

“I think it’s too much too,” Balt said grinning “But this guy was always the cautious type.”

The group left the landing pad and entered one of the buses that was always running around the city, Zeshaun stared out the window at all the large buildings and the other speeders that were flying around. The bus stopped at another station and the group got off, Gres walked up to a man and had a brief conversation then waved everyone toward another hangar. Inside were three speeders, all kind of beat up but still useable. Zeshaun hopped into one of the speeders, Gres and Balt jumped into the other two. The rest of the group randomly got into one of the three speeders and they sped off out of the hangar, heading toward the lower parts of Coruscant.  This should be fun. Zeshaun followed Gres down through the streets of Coruscant and as they got lower the traffic became thinner, but Zeshaun could start to distinguish individual people on the streets.

“He should be around here.” Gres said through a head set.
They parked the speeders on the street and they all got out, everyone on the streets parted to make room for the group, a group of trandoshans all bearing rifles was enough to make the strongest thug move out of the way. They entered a bar where Legent Zardine was supposed to be seen at least 5 times in the last week. The group split up into small groups of three and sat in different areas of the bar waiting for any sign of the man. They knew what he looked like from the flyer but nothing said that he hadn’t changed his looks while he was on the run.
“There.” One of the trandoshan’s sitting next to Zeshaun said, pointing toward the back door.

Sure enough a man fitting the description of the poster quietly slipped into the bar unnoticed by everyone and sat down, the bartender brought him a drink. Legent Zardine was not well built but Zeshaun could tell from all the way across the bar that the man was packing heat.  Zeshaun looked to Gres and Balt to see what they would do, the two of them slowly got up from their seats, all the groups moved in toward Legent. They slowly surrounded him, all of them revealing blasters and trying to look intimidating.  Legent looked around, saw that he was surrounded and suddenly jumped the counter, knocking the bartender down and running out the door.

“Don’t let him get away!” Zeshaun yelled.

The group ran out the door, knocking patrons down as they went. They all entered the street and saw Legent running down the street toward a larger crowd, Zeshaun and the group started firing at Legent.

“Remember, we’re shooting to capture!” Gres yelled as he ran and shot.

One of their shots grazed Legent’s leg and he fell to the street, he tried to get up and continue running but the mercenaries were too fast; they grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall. They cuffed him and started escorting him back to the speeders.

“That was nice and easy.” Zeshaun said.

“Yeah, he may be armed but he wasn’t dangerous.” Balt said laughing at the warning on the bounty poster.

A sudden cry from up ahead made them all turn and look, Legent had revealed a vibroblade and had cut through the cuffs and stabbed one of the trandoshans. Legent started to run down the street again. damnit Zeshaun started to run after him, he set his pistol to stun and started to fire as Legent ran. Legent ran into an alleyway and when Zeshaun turned he realized that Legent had run into a dead end.

“It’s over.” Zeshaun said, talking to the darkness.

The rest of the group caught up with him, Zeshaun turned to tell them that Legent was trapped in the dead end but then he heard the vaguely familiar sound of metal rolling on the ground.

“Grenades!”  Gres yelled running back toward the street.

The explosion sprayed the street with debris from the alleyway, and smoke spewed out. Zeshaun quickly got up from his position on the ground and cautiously walked back into the alley, it was still hazy and it was very hard to see.  Zeshaun heard the sound of something flying through the air then felt a sharp pain in his arm, he felt his arm and felt a sharp object sticking out of his bicep, and he pulled out a long needle like object and tossed it on the ground. Gres and Balt entered the alleyway with flashlights, they handed one to Zeshaun.

“Thanks.”

“He still back there.” Gres asked, searching with his flashlights.

Zeshaun nodded, sweeping the street with his flashlight, he caught someone’s foot but when he looked again it wasn’t there. that’s got to be him Zeshaun thought slowly approaching the crate where he had seen the foot, pistol raised, Gres and Balt flanking him on either side.  A sudden flurry of bolts came from the darkness narrowly missing Gres’ shoulder. They all dropped to the ground, Zeshaun fired his pistol, sweeping the area from where he was laying. He heard a grunt and a body drop to the ground. Gres and Balt were quicker to get up and race over to the body.

“Nice shot; you got him right in the shoulder.” Balt said, impressed.
Zeshaun shrugged, “It’s the imperial training.”

“Let’s get this guy back to that hutt.” Gres said holding Legent tightly to his body.

They returned to speeders and took the bus back to the shuttle. They didn’t experience any troubles on their way back to the star destroyer and were soon in hyper space, on their way to Tatooine. They arrived in orbit and sent a shuttle down with Legent. They confirmed that the hutt’s workers had possession of Legent and they were free to go back. They got a small hologram from the hutt.

“Thank you,” The hutt said through a translator droid “We’ve been searching for Mr. Zardine; you have gotten rid of a very large nuisance for me.”

“Any time your highness.” Gres replied.
TRP/CPL Zeshaun/1SQD/2PLT/COM/REG/BAT//VEA/VE[LoR][ES1][IH][CCA][SC]{RES}
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[This message has been edited by Zeshaun (edited April 27, 2009 7:30:14 PM)]
Aeos
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Aeos
 
[VE-ARMY] Sergeant First Class
[VE-DJO] Krath Adept
[VE-VEEC] Engineer
 
Post Number:  2290
Total Posts:  3141
Joined:  May 2005
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  RE: Roworth Hunter Agency - Legent Zardine
April 30, 2009 6:07:26 PM    View the profile of Aeos 
Hmh.

While you didn't make any spelling errors, there were quite a few grammar errors and missing punctuation. I won't fine you for that now since that wasn't my original agreement with you guys, but definitely be more careful with your next story.

As for your story.
I'd definitely like to see more character development, it is way more interesting to read.

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