Name: Krius Chase   
Callsign: Krius
Race: Human   
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Home Planet: Born on a ship
Height: 5'7
Weight: 150 lb's
Hair: Dirty Blonde with short spikes in the front
Eye: Light blue
Attributes and personality:
Krius is well built and has really good eye sight. He is very funny but wise at certain points in time and when in combat is calm only focusing on what he's supposed to do.

Now for his history ;p

Krius had never set foot on a planet in his life. He was born on a ship and raised on a ship which was just the way he liked it. As a little kid Krius would always stare out the window of his ships main control center and just gaze into the black depths of space. He never got bored of it, sometimes when he would have nothing to do he would just sit there for hours.

His mother, Alana, always told him that he would be a great man someday and his name would always be remembered, that he would become a legend. He always wondered why, but never found the answer. Krius didn't have a father, and his mother never spoke about him and Krius didn't really care because he had never met him and the closest person he had to a father was Scythe.

Scythe was Krius's uncle and helped his mother with many things such as maintaining the ship, going to get food, and every once in a while he would go for trips that lasted a day or two.

At the age of twelve, Krius started to ask questions. About his father, how they made money and why they would never let him go on planets, though he didn't care about that to much, but he just wanted to know. He began to grow curious and got bored of being on the ship all the time.

His mother started giving him things to distract him from wondering about those things. When he was fourteen he started learning how to pilot ships, small ships such as the CRF-156T Raven. When he was Eighteen he had been on his first planet, Tattooine it wasn't the best experience but he enjoyed being on a solid surface.

One day Krius was piloting the ship Blitzkrieg which was the ship he lived on, when he encountered three Rebel fighters and one docking ship.

"Blitzkrieg shut off your engines now and open your access ports" The lead fighter said.

"Under whose orders?" Krius asked with a suspicious tone.

"That's for us to know, now open your Access Ports and let us dock. I'll give you three seconds if not we will blow your ship into Oblivion."

At that moment Krius's uncle and mother had come to the Cockpit to see what was going on.

"Hold on a second" Krius said as he looked at his uncle to see what he should do.

"Look Krius, there's something I haven't been telling you. I am a Bounty Hunter, and I mostly work for the Empire this is probably the reason they want to dock, but don't let them no matter what they say they'll kill all of us."

Krius looked up in confusion at his uncle; he couldn't say anything, he was to shocked.

"Now look I'm going to get in my fighter ship and I'm gonna distract them, as soon as they go for me or when they see me I want you to warp to this point." He pointed to a set destination on the Navigations unit.

"When your there, you'll probably see a docking port. Go to the Docking port and tell them that you're here for Scythe and they'll understand. If I don't come back in 72 hours then.." He took a pause looking down at the floor.

"I want you to join the Vast Empire."

Krius new who they were. They were one of the  factions of the Empire and there Navy was one of the best, he would be glad to join them but he didn't want his uncle to die.

Brushing tears away Krius hugged his uncle for a long time. Then the Rebels voice cracked over the intercom again.

"Well this is it, pray for me." Scythe said with a smile.

Krius watched him walk away not knowing that that would be the last time he saw him. 72 hours later Krius found himself joining the Vast Empire&


Hope you like it!

hmm, over all the story's not bad, but you need work on your grammar. use punctuations, and use them correctly. you're not breaking at places where you should, thus making many places confusing. One has to read certainly places a few times before they can understand what you're saying in those places.
 
-----------------------
-(William the Conquerer)-
King of PPC
We are still here because we conquered our enemies, and we shall do it once more! and more, and more, and more!
SC/CWO Willtconq/Kaph 1/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [VC:B][SV]
Wm/Wm Willtconq/WM:1/Webmasters/VET/VE

You've obviously figured out who I am, but I'll introduce myself anyways.  I'm Lieutenant Commander Shazam, and I'll be your trainer for this week long course.  You've already started on your bio, but I'd like you to look at the following website anyways:

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29

Now, the first chapter there is all about character creation- the bio.  You've got kind of a good story goin, but I'd like you to look at that and get some more ideas on where you think you should improve.  Some things I can point out to you are that you don't need to speak as if you are writing the story.  Instead, be breif, like it's just kind of happened and you're telling someone about it- I think that's what Typex was goin for.  So instead of all that dialogue, say- "At which point Scythe told Krius about his true role in the galaxy as a bounty hunter for the Empire..." Or something like that.  Don't go verbatim or anything and certainly don't let me command your creativity, but please do attempt to be breif rather than storyteller.  If you want to write out all that happened you can do a persoanl story though!

Also, you used words like "warp" and "access ports" and "fighter ship..."  We know what these are so if you just say- "jump" "dock" and "fighter" that's perfectly clear to us.  Warp is not really a popular word in the SW universe though   I don't think its the same, so lets just avoid that one

Lemme know when you've updated that and we'll probably send you onto the next step.  Remember though, it's how effective you are that we judge on for class rank, so keep it in mind and stay patient- try to be the best you can be.  Keep Rockin.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training

Name: Krius Chase   
Callsign: Krius
Race: Human   
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Home Planet: Correlia
Height: 5'7
Weight: 150 lb's
Hair: Dirty Blonde with short spikes in the front
Eye: Light blue
Attributes and personality:
Krius is well built and has really good eyesight. He is very funny but wise at certain points in time and when in combat is calm only focusing on what he's supposed to do.

Now for his history =P

Krius was born on the planet Correlia and lived in the Jewel of Correlia, or the city that is known as, Coronet. He lived with his mother Alana and his uncle Scythe in an apartment building.

Krius had a very decent child hood life until he reached the age of thirteen. He had always wondered why he didn't have a father and he wanted to know why, so one day he asked his mother about his father. Krius had thought he was some kind of hero and he died in action, but he wasn't even close. Krius's father was a good for nothing drunk. He had beaten his mother when ever he would get drunk, and then leave for long periods of time not caring if Alana was pregnant with his baby.

One day it had all stopped when Scythe had walked in the house, and found him beating on her, and Scythe gave him a beating to remember, and then sent him to jail. After Krius had heard that story about his father, he wanted nothing to do with the man.

At the age of fourteen, Krius found himself getting into many fights, and always getting into trouble. Krius was small, and people took that as a weakness and they would always pick on him until one day Krius got fed up with it. The group who had always messed with him had followed him to his apartment building, while on the whole way calling him names. One of them said something about his mother, and Krius lost it. Even though Krius ended up getting stabbed three times, he sent two of the boys to the hospital with battered and broken limbs. After that, they were always going at it and every once in a while some of them would end up going to the hospital.

At the age of sixteen, Krius had grown out of his violent ways, and started to pay more attention to school and to things he would need in life. At the same time he worked out so he could keep in shape, and also did boxing matches every once in a while to let off some steam. But, Krius also had fantasies of being a pilot. His uncle, who was a trader, would sometimes take him on trips to planets, such as Tatooine, Coruscant, and to Naboo. Then, one day Krius couldn't hold it in any longer and asked his uncle if he could pilot the ship, and of course it was a yes. The feeling of controlling such a powerful yet graceful ship amazed Krius. After that, Krius began to help his uncle in the trading business and even made some cash off of it.

Then one day, going on another Trade mission to Coruscant, they had just arrived in the middle of a firefight between some Space pirates and a Squadron of TIE Fighters. Krius thought it was amazing and it actually looked fun. It was like a light show, the bolts going back and forth and every once in a while an explosion. At the end of it all the TIE fighters had won losing no Fighters.

On the way back from that same trip, a group of rebels had stopped them asking if they could check the ships cargo bay. Krius's uncle refused to let them on because they had no authority what so ever. Krius and Scythe were out numbered but they still gave it a shot. After losing both their engines they had no choice but to abandon ship. As krius stepped in the pod he heard a huge explosion behind him, when he turned around the last thing he saw was his uncle getting torn appart by the massive explosion.
Ever since that day, Krius swore he would avenge his uncle and show no mercy to Rebel's.

(Sorry Shaz, I know I changed the story completely but the last bio I did to tell you the truth I rushed it and didn't put to much effort into it. But this one I actually thought it through before writing.)

It's good but at the end "thought it threw"? Don't you mean "through"?

Oh yea by the way Leon=Krius. That's my Army profile.

Yea, well i hope to see you in the same squad as me
 
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Krius=Leon

Yea I know what you mean Shaz it's just that i didn't want to make revenge my motive because that's pretty much how everybodys bio is. But i'll add it in there right now.
 
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Krius=Leon

We're in the same class right? Hope we make the same squad

That would be cool but it doesn't really matter. BTW, what is your squadron?

Thanks for the heads up, but i think i kinda already made the story into a competition, for my squadron anyway.
 
-----------------------
-(William the Conquerer)-
King of PPC
We are still here because we conquered our enemies, and we shall do it once more! and more, and more, and more!
SC/CWO Willtconq/Kaph 1/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [VC:B][SV]
Wm/Wm Willtconq/WM:1/Webmasters/VET/VE

Crazy stuff meaning that you wouldn't go do flaming, lightpole obsticale courses on your first day.  Or, sinking your teeth into a Mon Calimari on your own.  Or trying to pull some crazy manuever you couldn't possibly pull off because your character wouldn't have the expience, and thus- would lack the ability.

And verbatim is the easy way of saying "word-for-word." 
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training

Lol, yes- barrel roll, immelman, split-s...  Whatever, as long as it has some benefit for you and it's not too tricky.  The Spiral Dive takes a little practice along with high and low yo-yos.
 
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training

Space Post


It's like my first time flying a ship again but&way better. Krius was in disbelief, he couldn't believe that he was going to fly an actual TIE Interceptor today. The only word he could use to describe it was awesome and in a matter of days, he would be off to graduation and then be put into an actual squadron. And then I can avenge my uncle.

After starting up the interceptor, and making sure the weapons were on lock, a smooth voice crackled over the intercom.
"This is Desus One, is everyone's fighter ready to go?"
"Yes, Sir!" said the trio of new recruits. The other recruits that were with Krius were Atrick and Deity. Krius and Atrick had become close friends during training school, and they hung around with each other a lot at the Mess hall. But Deity, Krius didn't know to well; it was his first time meeting him so he knew nothing about him.
"All right, get ready for take off." Said Desus One.

A surge of adrenaline pumped through Krius as he felt the tractor beam start to lift him off of the hangar bay floor. All right, this is it 
"Ok, when this tractor beam let's us go, I want you to just fly around a bit and get used to the feeling of flying an Interceptor in space. After about five minutes we'll then move on to the next lesson." Krius had met Desus One for the first time yesterday. He was doing a flight simulation, and when he was done, Desus One told him that he was ready to go onto real flying. He was a nice guy, but his eyes seemed to penetrate you, as if he could tell what you were thinking.

As soon as Krius felt the push of the tractor beam let go, he turned on his engines and pushed the acceleration lever halfway. Krius's TIE suddenly lurched forward and started to gain speed at an amazingly fast rate. Wow, this is awesome!.  The acceleration on the Interceptor was amazing, now going 75 MGLT's , Krius pushed the acceleration lever a little over half way and was now going 80 MGLT's.

Krius turned the Interceptor Starboard so he could get a good look of the gas planet Tague. It was amazing, the orangey red planet surrounded by the blackness of space, it was like something you would see in a picture, but better.

When Krius was done enjoying the view he decided to pull of a couple of maneuvers. Starting off with his favorite move, the Barrel Roll, Krius pulled the stick slightly to the right, which made him start turning port, and then half way through the turn, he turned the ship starboard while pulling back on the stick a little which made him angle up while doing a 180 spin and then completed it by finishing off the spin and turning port.

"WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!" A rush of excitement shot through Krius. He had just done his first maneuver in a TIE Interceptor. After calming down, Krius did a break turn port and saw Atrick trying to do an Immelman; he did it but just forgot to spin when he was going up. Deity had just done a Barrel Roll him self and it was pretty good. Right when Krius was about to try and pull off a Spiral Dive, Desus One's voice crackled over the intercom.

"All right greenies, now that you've had some fun, let's start off with some target practice, now I want all of you to fly close to the Perser Summit
And it's gonna shoot out a small probe droid that will try and out maneuver you and get behind you. If it gets behind you then you will have to out maneuver it and get behind it. This will go on until you destroy the droid, and oh by the way, if you get shot three times you lose and you have to start again. Is everyone ready?"

"Sir yes Sir" said the trio in unison.

"All right, Krius your up first, good luck"

Krius flew over to the cruiser Perser Summit and waited for the Droid to come out. With out any warning what so ever, a droid shot out of some kind of canon and flew upward past Krius. "Shit." Krius quickly pulled the control lever back and his Interceptor shot upward. The droid looked like the hull of the Interceptor except a bit larger and no wings.

Krius increased the ships speed to 85 MGLT's and was now getting closer and closer to the droid. When he felt he was in range, Krius set the Blaster Canons to linked fire and took three shots at the droid. The droid pulled upward again and took Krius into a half circle and then into a dive heading towards the cruiser. Krius took four shots at the droid and successfully made a hit on the droid, but right when Krius was about to take another shot the Droid pulled upward again and Krius realized that he was still diving towards the ship. Krius pulled the stick back hard, and he missed the ship by twenty feet. "So you want to play ruff, I can play ruff" when he cleared the cruiser the droid was nowhere to be seen. "Uh-oh" Krius Break Turned port just barely dodging the shots the droid took at him.

The droid fell outside of Krius's Break Turn and couldn't get a good shot at him, but then pulled back in behind Krius. After giving it some thought Krius decided to try the Barrel Roll and see if he could shake the Droid.

Krius pulled the stick lightly to the right, and half way through the turn, he turned the ship starboard while pulling back on the stick which made him angle up while doing a 180 spin. At the same time Krius was slowing down the Interceptor because there was no drag in space to slow him down. Krius then completed the spin by doing another 180 but a slow one that gradually brought him turning port.

The droid didn't notice the change in speed and shot past Krius. Krius took this time to take shots at him and he hit the droid two times taking away his shields. "All right, no more games." Krius was following the droid move by move and wasn't letting off.

Krius quickly switched the missile lock off and started trying to get a lock on the droid. The droid did a break turn to the right, but Krius saw it coming and cut into his turn by stepping on the right peddle and hardy turning the stick to the right. "Bye bye." Krius took two shots of linked canon fire and watched, as the droid got ripped apart by the two shots.

"WOOOOOHOOOOO!" Krius screamed in joy. This was his first real kill and it was awesome. Then Desus One's voice crackled over the intercom.
"Good job Krius, I didn't think you'd make it&" Krius could hear Desus laughing over the intercom. "Report back to the hangar bay and then I'll dismiss you when these two are done"

When Krius was flying back to the cruiser he saw Atrick just taking out his droid and Deity had the droid on his tale. I cant wait till my next flight.

 
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Krius=Leon

lol, thanks alot Shazam. I'll work on those weak spots.
 
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NightStalkers TRP/PFC Leon/3SQD/2PLT/1 Bat/1 RGT/VEA/VE