Just some tips:
-Proper grammar and spelling aren't a requirement, but seem to be be valued and encouraged here.  If you need help, the people here seem to be pretty helpful so just ask them for help if you need it.
-Zabrak, not zabarak

Anyways, welcome to the Navy, have fun and good luck
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul Three Flight
FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)

Cyleaf "Cy" Aehait
Race: Zabrak
Age: 25
Ht 1.74 m
Wt: 90.72 kg
Horns: Like most typical Zabraks Cyleaf has horns, they are scattered in a loose pattern around his head except for two in the center, these curve towards each other. They are all small and pointy.
Tattoo: Cy's body is covered in red tattooes. The designs look like veins all around the exposed skin. His face is rather unique as the tattoo forms a pattern around the eyes, mouth, and nose like a skull.
Eyes: Violet
Skin: Light Tan
Home World: Corellia

Service History:
Current Rank: Crewman
Position: Cadet
Awards: None

Personality: Some say that  his tendency to be quiet is a flaw. But this flaw is truly one of his better qualities as he watches everything around him with studious eyes. He is extremely loyal to whatever cause or person(s) he holds dear to him. He follows orders without fault but sometimes gets into trouble when rushing into a situation he should have waited and thought out. Cyleaf is not quick to anger, and has a fiery resolve which makes him a good ally and a very bad enemy.

Pilot Skills: It is hard to say at this point what his pilot skills are truly like due to only logging minimal amounts of hours in the simulators. What he lacks in experience Cy picks up things extremely fast. Like all starting pilots he makes mistakes but he tires hard to learn from them. During one simulation he was grazed by laser fire taking out power to his engines but he remarkably re-routed power from his weapons capacitor  to fly home and  finish the sim. He turned a couple of heads that day; it became apparent he was studing the fighters specs in his off time, or was he?

History: Cyleaf doesn't know much about his ancestors. He has seen old holo vids and pics of his grandparents but never knew them. His father told him that due to political differences they lost touch before he was born. His grandparents opposed the establishment of the Empire while his parents embraced it. He was born and grew up on the planet Corellia in the lovely city of Bela Vista. His father was a bank teller and mother worked at a restaurant. Cyleaf attended school when he was young but at the age of 10 his mother began to home school him after his father was promoted to bank manager.  He tried very hard grasping what she taught him. Something's he picked up fast, while others he picked up extremely slow, languages were brutal for him to learn. During evenings and weekends he would spend time near the Star port watching ships of all sizes come and go, he was fascinated. With being home schooled Cy found he had a lot of free time so to his parents annoyance he started taking thins around the house disassembling them and putting them back together, on occasion they ran better than before. Though one time he messed with the food synthesizer makeing desserts instread of regular meals. Let's just say he fixed it pretty quickly before his father got home from work.
On his twenty-fifth birthday he got a pamphlet at the door for the Imperial forces. Having tried odd jobs here and there he decided to maybe give this a shot. He browsed the pamphlet, Army no; Engineering no; than the Navy that caught his eye. He wanted to be a pilot. He began to reminisce about the days he stood watching the ships and he made up his mind. His parents wanted him to join the Engineering Corps because of his uncanny ability with machines but he told them no. So after talking to a recruiter he signed up and boarded the next transport. While en-route to the Naval Academy Cyleaf got word of his parents being killed in a fire-fight between Rebels and Imperials. His parents were on there way home from a dinner when a poorly thrown proton grenade by the Rebels killed them instantly. Since then his decision has been firm, do the best he can for his beloved Empire and pay back the Rebels for his loss.

Pick it apart please, I am at work so I kinda wrote it fast and thrown together. If you could point out where to put more details I'd appreciate it. Thanks for the advice.
-Cyleaf

I will get onto your post ASAP.
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul Three Flight
FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)

Nice thanks for pointing these out I am about to leave for work when I get there I will change and rewrite the things you pointed out. I appreciate your help.
-Cy

Ok I edited my bio, took the gramatical errors and fixed them added some different spins where you wwanted a little more detail. I hope this works.
-Cy

Hmm, did you edit it here or on the roster?  Because the last time you edited this one was the 13th of April.
 
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Senior Crewman Gunnay
Nazgul 3-2
Adjutant to the Training Officer
A:TO/FM/SCRW Gunnay/Nazgul 3-2/Wing I/mSSD Atrus/1VIF/VEN/VE (=*A*=)

Alrighty- your next step is to go to Chapter II (Pilot Procedure) on the page above.  That chapter entales the basics of what you'll need to understand in order to be apart of a squadron- that is Tactics and Equipment.  Hopefully by understanding these you'll come to know your assignement and fulfill it better by using a wider range of your knowledge.  Also, I think it'll make you alittle more creative   When you know what you can do you normally tend to edge out from what you have-

Now, there is an assignement in that part of the page- make sure you post it here like always.  If you don't, there is the possibility it will never be seen.  Remember that we are looking for understanding and we don't need you to fly through this necessarilly.  Post here when you're ready- thanks.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

That does make some sense, but only because I was able to decipher what you were saying.  My only comment is that when putting in official word or application you need to read it over thoroughly so that it looks clean and precise- the look is going to get our attention first.  A lot of that can be cured up by a quick read through.  As for your work?  I thought you did well and you appear to understant the material, even calling in why it would not work at times which I like to see and you'll need to get under control in order to make absorbing, interesting post.  This brings us to our next and last chapter-

The Squadron, (Chapter III), details your main occupation in the navy- posting.  You'll need to put two story post in this thread so they can be reveiwed- they are highly reguarded in deciding your class rank and promotion as well as placement after FS.  Again, make sure you post here, or we may never see your work.  Take your time and do your best- thanks.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

(Being a military setting I am not sure if they used the same jargon, rack=bed; head=bathroom, if I am wrong I will edit the post. Also this might be a little on the long side or too long any feedback would be appreciative.)
Chronometer countdown: 12 hours till Space Maneuvers Begins
Location Cadet Dormitory Room C1 aboard the Interceptor-Class Cruiser Perser Summit

Cyleaf awoke suddenly from his dream covered in an icy chill. His nerves were on the edge due to the Real Life Space training he was about to endure. As thoughts fluttered from his mind he recalled that the dream had been about his parents the day he received the pamphlet about the joining the Empire's forces. How proud they had been that day when he told them about wanting to enlist, but how their smiles faded slightly when he said he wanted to become part of the navy and not engineering, they hoped he hadn't noticed the change in their faces but he did.

CY crawled out of his rack trying to not make any noise, through it was warm in the room having gone to bed in his boxer-briefs but it now felt cold to him. He had hoped that his movements did not wake up Mounder Skardon on the top bunk. Mounder just rolled over and CY gave a sigh of relief, he didn't want to pass on his anxiety to others. He quietly walked past the two lockers side by side and the hanging black flight suits toward the head, his eyes adjusted to the darkness he did not turn on the lights but went right towards the faucet. Turning on the cold water he splashed it into his face, "That feels a little better" he said under his breath as the beads of water dripped down his chin, "Tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest day I've had here, I hope I am ready for it" he said to himself.

Feeling a little refreshed he headed out into the sleeping area with a quick stop at his locker rummaging around silently a little bit he found what he was looking for and returned to his rack sitting for a few moments staring at the pictures, the tears in his eyes making them seem more of a darker purple than violet. He lay down on the rack holding up his most prized possession a holo pic of his parents together. "I miss you Mom and Dad. If only you had gone straight home after work instead of meeting at that restaurant you'd still be with me, kind of hurts when the other guys get mail from loved ones and I just watch." CY sighed slowly letting the breath escape his lungs holding back a sob. "I will make you both proud some day, and that Journey starts tomorrow." Cyleaf put the picture on the stand next to the racks, wipes his eyes and closed them again for the second time that night.

Chronometer Countdown: 1 Hour till Space Maneuvers Begins
Location: Hanger Bay aboard the Interceptor-Class Cruiser Perser Summit

There were four men standing in their crisp black fighter suits. Three men were facing the fourth at attention the fourth began to give a kind of pep talk before their actual task begins. "Cadets Aehait, Skardon and Dredj this is one of your final tests as a pilot where are going to partake of a little exercise I like to call dummy shooting, it requires that you all combat some training droid ships in space. Those ships won't have weapons but all of yours will be locked on low power. These droids are going to simulate Rebel pilots and will be taking evasive maneuvers though keep in mind that like I said dummy droids so they won't be the smartest." Line Captain Ryncho Denar chuckled at his last comment. All of a sudden his green eyes went stern "I want you all to do you best, push your limits, and don't forget why you all came here!" Denar accentuated that last part. "Cadets your call signs for this exercise will be as follows, Cadet Dredj you are Desus 2, Skardon Desus 3, and lastly Aehait Desus 4, naturally I am Desus 1, any questions," Denar paused and looked at his cadets, when no one spoke up he added "Now go to your Interceptors and commence pre-flight start ups NOW!!"

Cyleaf sprinted after the others over to the interceptors and started to climb up the ladder into the cockpit. Perspiration was built up on his forehead and goose bumps formed all over his skin, this was the first time he had actually been in a Tie Interceptor cockpit by himself without anyone else and he was nervous. Cyleaf reached into his sleeve pocket and pulled out the holo photo of his parents, looked at their smiling faces and put it into his breast pocket, "That is where it belongs, watch over me mom and dad, I haven't felt this nervous since I re-wired the food synthesizer as a kid and mom had me wait for dad to come home man was I in trouble." CY thought to himself as he connected the hose tubes into his flight suit from his helmet.

"Hey Cy snap out of it, you haven't done any checks yet get with it" Skardon came over the com unit, "Sorry" was Cyleaf's short answer as he pulled on his helmet and it snapped into place. CY began to flip switches first closing the hatch to the Interceptor and powering up his engines. As the ship came alive it felt like an electric current passed down Cyleaf's spine as he shivered with some excitement.

"Cadets, we are going to leave the hanger now remember on-thousand meters is a lot of room to play with, follow me out of here in order Dredj, Skardon than Aehait, once we leave this ship it's call-signs only. Now check in with status and if you are ready to rock and roll Desus 1 out" Line Captain Denar came over all of their comm sets. A smile on the Captains face as his green eyes seemed to glow with excitement.

"Desus 2 reporting in all lights are green systems are a go" Dredj replied his excitement showing in his voice, he rubbed his hands together waiting for the action that would come.
"Desus 3 checking in, all my lights point to green and green means rebel killing time." Skardon's face was a sour expression of anger and hate, the malevolence showing in his tone.
"Desus 4 checking in all systems are ready everything checks out, just waiting on your orders Sir." Cyleaf chimed in his hands were shaking what an unusual feeling nervousness mixed with excitement."  Line Captain's Interceptor's engines ignited and propelled the ship out of the hanger and through the shielding; Dredj's ship roared to life and followed the leader out into open space. Skardon's ship blasted right out following Dredj closely. Cyleaf powered up his Interceptor and throttled up slowly not blasting out like his classmates, oriented the ship and than accelerated out.

The sight he saw next was amazing, stars millions of stars, and was an amazing sight. The simulator was definitely no match for the real thing, the sights, the feelings were amazing. "Desus 2, form up on my right, Desus 3 my left, Desus 4 stay behind me a little ways and below we are going to go in and attack these dummies, do you copy?

"Desus 2 copies, forming up now." Dredj pulled his ship to port and throttled up to Denar's left, "Desus 3 moving into position" Skardon accelerated dropped the nose of his ship and looped about to come up on the Captains right. Cyleaf throttled down and dropped his nose to ease into position below and at the back, "Desus 4 in position" he reported. "All right gentleman watch each other's back there are only 3 droid ships, they have no shields so 1-2 shots will take them down depending on where you hit them. Now stay in formation until they split than it's everyone for themselves."

Desus 1 accelerated towards the dummy ships, with everyone else following suit. The three droid ships began to move towards the Desus squadron. With each closing second Cyleaf could feel his body tingling with excitement and adrenaline, now he could see how good his skills really were. About 500 meters from the training ships Captain Denar slammed his interceptor into max thrust and peeled straight up into an immelman maneuver and peeled behind the squad. "They are all yours boys" the captain came over the com as he peeled back around to get a good view of the action. Instantly Skardon peeled to the right to intercept one of the ships, his lasers were throwing green bolts of power towards the droid, trying to do an evasive maneuver the ship turned right into Skardon's path of fire and was rocked by the bolts. With a brilliant explosion the training ship engulfed space. "Watch out for the Debris field Desus 3, good job."

As Skardon took out one dummy ship Dredj peeled off to the left engaging the second dummy ship. Dredj laid down fire at the ship missing it a little wide. "Arrgh, I'll get you, you stupid pile of bolts" Dredj yelled over the comms, and Captain Denar chuckled over the radio.

When Captain Denar peeled out of formation Cyleaf was right behind him, things started to happen fast Skardon engaged and killed one ship while Dredj was chasing down another. Seeing as the third was his CY began to lay down his own fire at the training ship glancing it on the stern but not doing and real damage. Cy's speed made him fly past the droid he immediately pulled up, inverted, de-throttled, he paused for a second throttled up full turned re-righted his ship and dove down behind the training ship. Cyleaf twisted his targeting trying to get the ship into his sight picture and began to fire, missing a little wide, the droid began to brake turn, Cyleaf throttled back twisted the targeting knobs "I have you now" he said and fired, the green blasters ripped up the training ship down the middle and it exploded in a lovely ball of fire. Another explosion followed and CY saw Dredj light up the other ship like a Christmas tree.

"Alright cadets time to head back to the ship good job" As they headed back to the Cruiser Cyleaf pondered why Captain had pulled out like that, is it because he didn't want to take all the ships out with which he could have done easily. Nah Cyleaf wondered if it was because he wanted to see what would happen if things went outta plan, but he had hesitated, he didn't react in a spilt second he watched the captain's ship accelerate and peel up. "I can't do that again, that could be the one and only mistake I make, it could get someone killed." Cyleaf said this to himself as he entered the hanger and put his Intercepter down gently. As He finished powering down Captain Denar flew in and settled his ship down. "Gentlemen Debrief in 30 minutes meet in the briefing room." Cyleaf removed his helmet and sighed, next time he would take action keeping an eye on his target..

(ok feedback away, wanna see how I did before I go onto the atmospheric, so soem mistakes won't follow me into that one.)

Excellent, excellent post.  That's what I come to expect from a post man, very, very well done.  As for critique?  A few things I noticed that maybe when you were thinking you put it in normal text and put quotations around it- that means your character is saying it.  Does your character talk to himself?  Lol- I suppose we might say little things or swear to ourselves, but talking about your parents out-loud to yourself is a little goofy.  In instinces like that we'd put it in italics and seperate iit away with commas like so-

Shazam pulled up hard, the g's pressing into him and he couldn't help but smile. Compey Courtney would be shaking his head right about now...

That was kind of a seperate sentance, but you get the point.  If you want to do bold, italics or underline, just enter <.b>,<.i>, or <.b> without the periods and add the same thing to the end of that peice but put a slash so it looks like-

Shazam pulled up hard, the g's pressing into him and he couldn't help but smile. <.i> Compey Courtney would be shaking his head right about now...<./i>

-Again, without the periods.

Also, you don't always have to add the squadron name in front of someone's callsign- if its just one group, just saying, "One, Four" or whatever it is will probably do.  Other than that- your content was excellent, I really like that.  IF you can get your next post and your Aviator's done by tomarrow I'll pass you and get you into a squadron.  Rock On, man.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Righteous
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Excellent- you built off of a post that you had before, which was really good   Also- I did edit your post.  Not content- just the italics marks; lol- I said take the periods out.  Lets get that Aviator's done and I'll graduate the crap out of you.  Rock On.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Ok sent my answers to [email protected], if you did not get them I will send it where you want.
-Cy

Yay! Another pilot in this week's graduating class! (I'm in it too)
 
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~Zharyn~