Cast of Characters

Crewman Dairk Phray Imperial trainee under Captain Lhrine
Captain Cince' Lhrine Commander of the transport shuttle Offinity's Hybrid
Crewman Mounder Skardon Imperial Trainee under Ryncho Denar
Lt. Commander Shazam Commander of Nazgul Squadron

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Inside the Sim Room aboard the Perser Summit

Shazam exhaled slowly; wow, its been a while since I've felt this type of atmosphere, and not the gravitational kind...  The commander chuckled in spite of his own corniness and shucked his shoulders back so they fell against the wall more comfortably. 

When Shazam had been in training there was limited facilities and even fewer trainers per trainee but he couldn't say that it was much better now.  He did have several memories about BT though- mostly of his slightly eccentric commander Comprey Courtney and his fellow squadron mates, but his favorites normally consisted of going to the sims and competing against members of other training groups.  A smirk threatened to engulf his face as he watched a huddle of pilots around a holo pod, a dog fight was still in progress between an X-wing, A-wing and two TIE Interceptors. 

TIE fighters  Shazam almost shuddered at the thought of the sheildless TIEs now.  At the time, they were the fastest, most manueverable craft he'd been allowed to fly with so little limitations, but at the same time, he felt impending doom.  While the VEN beleived more in preserving pilots so they could grow to become the impressive leaders in their air force that the enemy had come to know, they still issued new pilots TIE Fighters.  Normally, if you made it to a squadron with TIE Interceptors, that meant you were good enough to survive the initial missions with TIE Fighters.  If you survived that squadron- who knew? 

Across the way a roar went out as the A-wing disintegrated and one of the TIE's came under heavy fire from the X-wing.  The TIE dashed about as it's wingman attempted to follow up with their initial plan, but to no avail- the X-wing had linked its cannon's and closed quickly enough through a high yo-yo that the dual burst annhilated the imperial craft. 

"Raves better get him," a young man with bright red hair scolded the viewer testilly.  "I swear if that old man wins another round I'll..."  He was cut off by the slight flash of the second TIE exploding and an aprubt 'awww.'  The X-wing had leveled out and given the TIE a shot, but since the sim was for atmospheric flight, when the X-wing rolled a little to the right, the gravity pulled him down.  The angle was impossible to track for the TIE so it was forced to overshoot him, giving the X-wing an easy kill shot with his quad-burst shot.  "I can't beleive this..."

"I could beat him..."  Said a young zabrak of an interesting color pallette.  His skin was a dark, almost blood red and his tattoos a slightly lighter blue to accent the hue of his skin.  Shazam assumed this was to inspire fear or to make him an easy target...

The seal to the simulator hissed and the pilot, Captain Lhrine as Shazam remembered him, smiled broadly.  He'd clearly been doing this for some time because he waved his hand then bowed as if to say "Who's next?"

"Cince'!" Shazam heard himself shout- out of what he wasn't sure.  The darker man nodded to him, his smile rotting away it seemed.  Shazam remembered him from his days of BT- the man was older and graduated ahead of Shazam, but he was considered to be one of the top dogs and was assigned to Viper Squadron for a short while.  Since the group had at once time been considered 'elite' his status went up to all the new recruits and trainees.  Shazam wondered if he should continue his little idea; wouldn't wanna embarras him in front of his students...  If they are his students he aloud himself a short lived smile and grunted.

"Since you've had a chance to warm-up, how bout a quick sim?  I always wanted to see you fly since those days at the academy...  How bout it?" Shazam didn't push himself off the wall just yet, not willing to move unless he thought he was going to be off ot a sim.

"Heh- you want a head-to head?  Yea, good luck..." He chuckled and then the quiet crowd of trainee spectators resumed their jittery talk and tried to pull Lhrine back in.

"Lets make it interesting.  We both pick any pilot out of this room to make an element."  Shazam's voice could be heard over the crowd of about fifteen people and they fell quiet once again.  Lhrine turned, a little annoyed possibly, and said-

"You really have some kind of death wish, Shazam..."  He didn't meet his eyes, but he seemed ready to say something in case-

"That's Nazgul One, but maybe I do.  I call the Zabrac- pick your man."  Lhrine lifted his head this time and smiled as if the annoyance had come to pleasure in understanding.  Those who think they'll win take pleasure in bets like these.

"Dairk Phray."  The captain continued to stare at Shazam as a young man with short black hair came out of the crowd and stood by his commander's side.

"Yes sir!"  The young man stood at attention then wavered by glancing over at Lhrine to make sure he'd heard correctly.  After a moment, the captain turned to him and said-

"Strap in- you'll be flying an X-wing.  I beleive you're aware of the controls- head to the back porta."  The young man saluted and jogged to the far port excitedly.  Lhrine turned to Shazam who had finally prodded himself off the wall and brushed across his knees for no apparent reason.  "We get an extra two X-wings on our side and you can have..."

"Two interceptors of course," Shazam fnished for him.  "You hear me or are you shy?  You got a name motley?"  Shazam stared right into the dark eyes of the young Zabrac.  The commander wasn't doing this all out of ego, in fact, it was more a game to him than anyone else and he was enjoying that much, but if he could get someone in on this for some extra training...  Not bad, Shaz...

"Crewman Mounder Skardon reporting, sir!"  The Zabrac stepped forward with an unsuspected energy that made Shazam smile.

"Alright, man the sim next to number five...  Can't tell if that six or four..."  Mounder ran off and Shazam glanced to Lhrine.  "Those extra fighters are sim pilots- no rooks.  Got me?"

"Very well- may the best..."

"Fly straight Cince'..."  Shazam didn't bother to hear the rest of the statement and jumped into his pod.  The headseat sitting on the arm rest dangled innocently; new sim...  Nice.  Too bad we didn't have this equipment...  Then again, we were dead if we took the time to do this stuff...

"You copy Zabrak buddy?" Shazam flipped a few switches and found his power switch.  A few indicator lights were already on but the rest across the TIE dash display came alive, blinking awkwardly then staring stalwartly as brightly as they could after they become more confident.

"Please, call me Mounder, sir..."  Shazam wasn't sure if he detected an edge in the voice, but he didn't really care- just gotta get this kid flying.  Hope he can fly half-way decent...  No need to take this guy and his buddy myself...

The screen glowed grey then darkened black, good, its space.  We don't want him playin any of that goo manuevering on the recruit...  The stars dotted the sky and a timer above the screen went to zero as the simulation began.

"Alright, we're goin loose goose formation, you familier with it, Mounder?" Shazam spun the craft harmlessly as he breathed in the handling of the Interceptor.  The sim was pretty accurate with the handling of a finely tuned TIE Interceptor, so Shazam began to feel pretty good about his flying. 

"If you're referring to the split element formation that requires atleast a couple of kilometers in between..."

"Scratch that, Mounder.  I'm ordering the other two TIE Interceptors to form up and take a route a little farther than us.  Stick close and don't do anything fancy- with any luck they'll go after them instead of us..."  The four X-wings split into groups of two but still went after the TIE interceptors to the far right.  Shazam went into a uniform turn to fall in behind the X-wings with Mounder right on his tail, looking pretty comfortable when two of the X-wings suddenly broke and began to fall in behind the TIE Interceptors.

"Alright, jigs up- get ready for evasive manuevers..."

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Alright bud- make a post; I'll walk you through it and make sure we get to understanding so you have a good post.  Just go at it and we'll work through this one- rock on.

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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Alright, lets just review what you were trying to say in that post because I was having a very hard time catching on to it.

We knocked out one interceptor somewhere so there were three remaining apparently- two of them on your tail.  There was one going around on the outside that you went head-to-head with, forcing the fellow behind you to split off to avoid the X-wing ahead of you.  That's pretty good, I'd say, but after that it gets a little hard to understand.  Let me point out why-

X-wings are equipped with sheilds that can stand about three-five blast from TIE Interceptor cannons; they need to be direct hits.  So, it's very, very unlikely that you would be able to take out an x-wing just like that, even if it is a simulation (because they are supposebly easier from the lack of g's.)  Also, when you say that you are going to take someone out, you need to describe rather than say "I shot one down."  While you don't have to do that for everything, getting a little detailed never hurt.  Also, is this an NPC or one of the two real pilots?  Remember that one of them is an Ace and the other is only a rookie like yourself- distinguish between them.  Like "One of them had trouble pulling through the loop while the other flew through with genuine ease..."  Something of the sort- we want to make sure we carry what I posted into this one.  Does that make sense?  So when you shot those fighters down, you have to say if it was NPC or otherwise or atleast what you think it is.

Thinking on skill and what you wrote about it- like I said, we need to distinguish between abilities.  Certain things will surprise people in the story based on their supposed level- like if you pulled that manuever where you spoke about splitting the formation behind you, Shazam might think to himself," Not bad..."  But it's unlikely that Shazam would get shot down before you- if he gets shot down, offer a reason as to why.  Two fighters after you would be more likely to kill you than an active ace pilot.  Do you see what I'm saying with that as well?

What about overall substanance?  I think you can add more- like how your character would feel about being pulled out of a crowd at random by a seemingly cocky pilot- what made him accept the offer?  Does he think he's gotten himself into a bad situation now that he's in this?  Who knows, he might get embarressed or he might become a hero.  The elation behind either options might be enough to drive him to continue this little adventure.  Remember that those comments and answers to those questions will have to allign with your bio- I beleive he was a very angry person

So, what I'd like you to do is edit the bio to make it the best you can with the above questions answered.  Message me when you've completed it.  Also, lets not just end the battle right then and there unless you absolutely feel you have to- you can draw this stuff out without just using flight manuevering and ending the battle.  You can include flashbacks or character notes that your person can relate to this event- that's what makes this stuff interesting.  You can also set up plot twist with the people you are writing with (me preferably), and that will give us a plan to write over.  If you have any questions comments or concerns- just let me know.  You're doin good- Rock On.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

CMDR/ESN Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

Thank you very much
 
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Peace is a Lie, There is only Anger
Through Anger, comes Strength
Through Strength, comes Power
Through Power, comes Victory
Through Victory my Chains are Broken
For the Dark Side will Set me FREE
Give in to your anger, let the hate Flow through you