Kaph and Trainees eh? I heard nothing about Vipers being eligeble....hmm...because were funnier than heck or what?
 
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EFM/SRCRW Tarkin/Viper 2-4/Wing I/M/SSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN[BRC][BRC][SV]

"Here's your choice: Empire or Rebel Alliance...Ruler or Slave." - Tarkin

Good point.. I shall talk to TJ about some funding to get a joint competition going some time. Syths can judge it, or something. Until then, this is for Kaph only The exact kitty is.. 15,985 credits, or something like that
 
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2nd Lieuteneant Bear
Kaph Squadron Commander
Navy Defense Medal
Long Service Medal

CMDR/2LT Bear/Kaph 1-1/1/mSSD Atrus/1ESF/VE/VEN/(=A=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY not so far away but if you think about it not really... any way there was.......................................................................................A REALLY DUMB STORY (now enter the cheesy classical starwars music). once upon a time i looked at this competiotion and decided to go for the prize cuz im really broke in IC's...any way there was once a kid named Pegis (hes parents were trying to name him regis but they were drunk when they named him). Any way he lived in los Angeles and dreamed of being a janitor at the local tv station so he could meet some of the tv stars (as ur probably guessing pegis was the california state idiot). any ways as soon as he failed high school he went and applyed for his dream job at the local studios. to his suprise he got his job. on the first day of work pegis was real exited he got the position on a local soap opera "Port Lies" which was right next to the "moring show with no real name". pegis went to work early and got there just in time to see the "moring show with no real name". as pegis was watching the show he got a chance to talk to the executive of the company which owned the "Morning show with no real name" so pegis went boldly to him and made a suggestion "excuse me sir can i give you a suggestion?" the buissness man turned around to talk to him "what?" "I just thought of a good idea for your show mr???""its Docter I.C. Yourcolon mister" Pegis ready to laugh says" What kind of name is that? what was wrong with your parents you were born? and then you had to become a doctor?!" " im not a doctor thats my REAL name u idiot!!!"pegis shuts up very quickly but is still grinning. the buisness man asks a question "tell me your name smart @$$?" "My name is Pegis Pillman and my idea for ur show is that u have me host it and call it ' The Live With Pegis and mystery lady show' what do you think?" the executive stood there for a moment and broke into laughter "who would be stupid enough to watch that show?... and the answere is no!!!!" A year or two passed and one morining Dotor I.C. Yourcolon turned on the TV and saw a new morning show that was on the TV. ( tv: ) "Its time for the Live with Regis and Mystery lady Show with Your Host.... Regis Fillman!" Doctor stood in his bedroom for the whole half hour stunned seeing the same man who gave him the dumb suggestion host his show while saying "ill be damned" well theres my story id aprreciate it if u told me it stunk or if it wasnt but i saw that no one wasnt posting anything so i thought id go for it i hoped u enjoyed my really dumb story

lol good one

Not bad.  I think I saw that one on SNL in some form or another, except everyone was helping give this guy a physical.
 
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Senior Crewman Riel Fury
Kaph Squadron
Silver Recruitment Commendation
Victory Cross
Gold Recruitment Commendation
Beautiful Smile

Heres a serious one A man staying at a posh hotel goes to the bar every night, and notices a stunningly attractive woman sitting in the same place, sipping an orange juice. One day, he plucks up the courage to go and talk to her. They get talking, and eventually he asks her up to his room. "Oh, no thank you. You see, I'm trying to keep myself pure until I find the man I love." she says. "Oh, that must be very difficult" "Not really, I cope. But it drives my husband crazy"
 
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2nd Lieuteneant Bear
Kaph Squadron Commander
Navy Defense Medal
Long Service Medal

CMDR/2LT Bear/Kaph 1-1/1/mSSD Atrus/1ESF/VE/VEN/(=A=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]

I hate to be the only one posting new jokes here but i want those credits, besides this ones a good one. one day a teacher decides to teach her students a new word. she decides to teach her students "defintely" she told them it means "absolutely without a dougbt"   She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself. Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?" Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him. Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear." "Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?" Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand. "Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher. "Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies. "Yes." "Do farts have lumps?" "No. Why do you ask?" "Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants." thnx for reading this i hope u found it as funny as me LOL

im going for the gold and reil said u can posts as much as u want to so here it is two blondes are on their way to disneyland untill they get to a fork in the road they read the directions on the sign: "Disneyland Left" the two blondes then went home. think thats how it goes hope u like

You cant beat my frosted flakes Tarkin!

A man phoned his local swimming pool and said "Hi, is that the local swimming pool?" The voice at the other end said "Depends where you live"
 
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CMDR/2LT Bear/Kaph 1-1/1/mSSD Atrus/1ESF/VE/VEN/(=A=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]
2nd Lieutenant Bear, Kaph Squadron Commander


TRN/PRV Owl/VE/VEA
Private Owl

What bar joke...? The one where the woman says "Oh I cope, but it drives my husband crazy" ??? That was mine.. Oh well, all the prize money was given by me anyway
 
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WC/CMDR/1LT Bear/Kaph 1-1/1/mSSD Atrus/1ESF/VE/VEN/(=A=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]

1st Lieutenant Bear
Kaph Squadron Commander
Wing 1 Commander

    In my younger and more vulnerable years, being naive and insensitive as I was, I watched with great despair, but also with a large quantity of interest, as a bearded homeless man gently taunted the cooing monkeys with delectable 'nanners. He smiled at them, spitting softly upon their greased, hairless heads, saying to them each in turn "All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy." He uttered this phrase in such a way that it left my head not for another 20 minutes. He plucked nanners off the trees, one by one, all the while chanting to his monkies.     Slowly, however, I enroached upon the poor mans lonliness, seeing as how the current state of my manners had turned me into a terrible and bad monster, not caring at all for the wellfare of the nanners or their fellow comrades. I spoke with him, at first, my voice escalating into a low-pitched growling type of a grumble, saying to him how pitiful he looked, and how greatly the urge of mine was to give him a haven in my home, warmed by the burning of the dried elephant crap, which I found, completely by accident, while stumbling across the immense vastness of my backyard. Only, if only I had possessed the knowledge of the new and improved natural gas, or the electric coil, I could have saved this soul.     But as it was, I held him gently in my arms, and shoved a banana into his gaping, toothless mouth. I wandered around in despair, picking up the lifeless nanners, slowly peeling their virgin innards, trying as an elephant bull might try to win his mate to keep the life juices in. But alas, I failed, and with a hideous, echoing scream, the life leaked out of the nanner like the water in my cracked toilet bowl.     I picked up another; perhaps this was to be my bride! But as I began peeling it, I heard emanating from it the yelling yell of a Barbaric cow, saying to me that its day of invasion was nearing. With an American shrug, I began sobbing uncontrollably, and lay him down to sleep, praying the Lord for him to keep. Not a single noisy peep, did he make upon that heap. Of nanners small and large alike. And the little ornry tyke.     I ran, like a man obsessed with running, in and out of the holes of the porous rock, then ducked, slyly, quickly, into my house's right garage door. I was safe at first. Immediately, I glanced across the room an apple, rotting and decrepit, and knew instantly that this was to be my bride. THE END