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Topic:  report
Power-County
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  report
April 12, 2009 10:50:02 AM    View the profile of Power-County 
Report, Power-County signing in i am new so don't judge
Brendon Power County
Stewart-Power
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Stewart-Power
 
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  RE: report
April 12, 2009 10:52:10 AM    View the profile of Stewart-Power 
Welcome, new recruit!
FM/LCRW Stewart-Power/Nazgul 15/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1FLT/VEN/VE/(=A=)
                  "Thel"

R.C.S.C.C. 221 Patriot
(Sea Cadets)
Imperial Network Star Wars Image
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Stewart-Power

unrelated fact: I use WAY too many brackets!
Hunter-Morrell
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  RE: report
April 12, 2009 10:54:51 AM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
The Vast Empire Navy welcomes you, Crewman.

I am Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter-Morrell, Special Advisor for the Vast Empire Navy, and I will be helping you today.

You have just completed Imperial Initiation by posting your welcome message here, the Vast Empire Navy congratulates for that. Now, the next step in your training is to start Flight School and post your character biography. This biography will (and should) be a rough outline of your characters history.

In your biography, you will need to list the following (just copy and paste):

Code: Select all
= Physical Appearance =
Homeworld:
Age:
Species:
Native Language:
Gender:
Skin Color:
Height:
Weight:
Hair Color:
Facial Hair:
Eye Color:
Scars:
Tattoos:

== Character’s Background ==
(Give me 1-2 solid paragraphs with information on your character’s past. Using a large amount of detail isn’t necessary, but if you feel like you want to, go ahead.)

== Personality ==
(Just write about what your character’s personality is. Make him/her interesting!)


Our method of writing here in the Vast Empire Navy (and the Vast Empire) is to write in third person. Please do so. If you have any questions, feel free to ComNet PM myself for guidance. Good Luck.

Useful links:
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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  RE: report
April 12, 2009 11:28:48 AM    View the profile of Power-County 
= Physical Appearance =
Homeworld: Dac
Age: 18
Species:Human
Native Language:English and some mon calamarian
Gender:male
Skin Color: pale white
Height:160cm
Weight:54kilograms
Hair Color:Black
Facial Hair:none
Eye Color:light blue/green
Scars:one on right eye
Tattoos:spiral going around on right arm

== Character’s Background ==
Born in Dac in a Human settlement outside the city later on moved to Tatooine and was drafted in to New republic but left after 2 years of service then started a businesses in the mid levels of Coruscant and met a man by the name of Stract Wanf who taught Power-County the ways of a Sword and Blaster Pistol then one night got in a bar fight with the wrong person then received a scar on his right eye.Then a new Republican loyalist murdered Scract right in front of Power-County and ran he is still looking for his revenge so joined the empire Navy and vowed revenge.

== Personality ==
Stubborn, ruthless and trust worthy he doesn't get along with many people, doesn't like to work in big groups but prefers to work alone he is willing to make friends but they have to prove them self still has night mares about the day his friends was murdered just is looking for inner peace within himself he looks mysterious.
Brendon Power County
[This message has been edited by Power-County (edited April 12, 2009 12:06:02 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Power-County (edited April 12, 2009 12:09:42 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Power-County (edited April 12, 2009 12:11:05 AM)]
Hunter-Morrell
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Hunter-Morrell
 
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  RE: report
April 12, 2009 12:02:04 AM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
Pretty good for a first try, but there are a couple of things that need work. First off, your spelling is overall decent enough, but there is the occasional word that is misspelled. I suggest using something like Microsoft Word or something to that capacity that has a spell check feature. Another thing is you have two sentences in that first paragraph and just one in the second paragraph. What you need to do is replace some of the commas with periods so that you can actually make your writing more understandable and readable. Also, in the physical appearance up top, you say you have a scar on your left eye, but under the history, you put that it was on your right eye. You might need to expand upon the whole Republican thing mainly because it isn't really clear what a Republican is. I'm just assuming you mean a New Republican Loyalist. One more thing, you stated that you were born in Drac in a Human Settlement. A Human Settlement where exactly? Is Drac the actual planet or some kind of land mass like Earth's continents? Please expand upon this.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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April 12, 2009 12:16:06 AM    View the profile of Power-County 
ok thanks for the advice umm well i rewrote well edited it so please re read
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 12, 2009 12:29:45 AM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
Thats good enough. Passed. Time for Chapter Two.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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April 12, 2009 3:50:17 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
The Immelman offensive: can be used offensively if a target is chasing and a barricade of some sort then pull up then the target would crash into the barricade.
The immelman Defensive: can be used to dodge heavy fire missiles and other sort of things when driving you just pull up quickly like you see in all the movies when the pilots are over confident about their skills.

Vertical Reverse Offensive: Well if your being chased by a target then you do he move and come turn right in front of them and blast them before they have they have the chance to get yourself.
vertical Reverse Defensive: When being chased you can do the trick and escape to your base or planet you need to arrive too
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 12, 2009 4:11:34 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
Ok. The Immelman is neither offensive nor defensive (taken straight from the wiki) so please combine the two categories under that into one. And the Vertical Reverse not only doesn't look right to me, its a little hard to understand. Please redo it and submit another version for review.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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April 12, 2009 9:29:30 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
The Immelman well say your being attacked by multiple enemys and you need to dodge incoming missiles and fire so when you do the Immelman you pull up and dodge the missiles and blasts then pull right back down and either retreat or attack back.

Vertical Reverse can be used either by dodging debris incoming enemy s then either retaliate retreat or do what you have to get back home or to the command center.
Brendon Power County
StOrMz
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April 12, 2009 11:26:29 PM    View the profile of StOrMz 
The Immelman description is acceptable, however, I'm going to ask that you use a different second maneuver. Not only is the vertical reverse hard to explain, it's too similar to the Immelman to be necessary.

I would suggest explaining something like the Sandwich (that is the one i did :P )

Ensign Stormz
Training XO
WXO/T-M/NTX/ESN StOrMz/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1 Fleet/VEN/VE
(=A=)(=^SA^=)(=ME=)(=*MAE*=)[NSM][IG][SWC][SRC][BI]


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Power-County
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April 13, 2009 6:15:43 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
THANKS for the advice well heres the new short pargraph replacing Vertical reverse. 


The sandwich
Well if ur on the right side you can either get a clear shot or if they try to escape and alert there other team mates you can prevent that and stay hidden from them what will help you defensivley and if you on the inside you can cut them off to prevent them from escaping or tell yur team mate to attack. how to initate you... is to get your member in a steady pace ahead of the target and yourself into postion and if your going for a missle or blast you have to wait for your partner to clear the danger area.


hopefully this one makes it :P
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 13, 2009 6:35:25 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
At least you tried. Its pretty good. Passed. Onto Chapter 3.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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  RE: report
April 13, 2009 8:42:27 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
Power-County's Report April 13

Activity: Going Threw Chapters to enter the Exam.
Upcoming Plans: Avaitors Exam "AE", then to get a placement.

Questions/ Suggestions: none

Position: In Acadamy
Recruit
Brendon Power County
[This message has been edited by Power-County (edited April 13, 2009 8:43:19 PM)]
Bacredi
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April 13, 2009 9:01:32 PM    View the profile of Bacredi 
Hello, Power, I am the Naval Training Officer Bacredi. Report was fine, just fix your ID line up and you'll be on your way to the AE. If you need help, just PM me or hop onto IRC - I'll help you.
Ensign Zhar Bacredi, Vast Empire Navy
Special Agent, Vast Empire Intelligence
Naval Training Officer, Vast Empire Navy
------------------------------------------
NTO/ESN Bacredi/Sting 1-1/Platform Saratoga/Raegent System/VENA/VEN/VE [MC:1] [EER] [SoV] [SRC] [LoM] [NSM] [MC:1] [NS:1] [VST:1] [KST:1] *[NST:1]* (=A=) (=SA=) (=*ME*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) {GWC} {SRC}
AGT/ESN Bacredi/Chaos/Reaper/ISD Nemesis/Sigma Group/VEI/VE
Power-County
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April 14, 2009 7:54:28 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
Position: TRN
Fleet Commander NONE
Ship Captain NONE
Wing Commander    NONE
Squadron Commander     NONE
Squadron Executive Officer    NONE
Flight Leader    NONE
Flight Member    NONE
Trainee    TRN
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 14, 2009 8:06:34 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
What is that? I thought you were supposed to be doing your ID line.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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April 14, 2009 8:07:50 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
isn't that the ID line?
Brendon Power County
Power-County
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April 14, 2009 8:11:23 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
[Trainie]/[Recruit][Power-County]Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE
Brendon Power County
[This message has been edited by Power-County (edited April 14, 2009 8:16:34 PM)]
Hunter-Morrell
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April 14, 2009 8:11:44 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
No, your ID line should look like this: XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE

Just replace my information with yours. You keep the Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE part though.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Bacredi
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April 14, 2009 8:25:21 PM    View the profile of Bacredi 
Oh, sorry for misleading you there, Power . But yeah, just follow Hunter's directions and you'll be set.
Ensign Zhar Bacredi, Vast Empire Navy
Special Agent, Vast Empire Intelligence
Naval Training Officer, Vast Empire Navy
------------------------------------------
NTO/ESN Bacredi/Sting 1-1/Platform Saratoga/Raegent System/VENA/VEN/VE [MC:1] [EER] [SoV] [SRC] [LoM] [NSM] [MC:1] [NS:1] [VST:1] [KST:1] *[NST:1]* (=A=) (=SA=) (=*ME*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) {GWC} {SRC}
AGT/ESN Bacredi/Chaos/Reaper/ISD Nemesis/Sigma Group/VEI/VE
Hunter-Morrell
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April 14, 2009 8:34:47 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
Thats good. But replace Recruit with Crewman. Also, if you want to have help in real time, you can get on http://www.vastempire.com/main/ref/javachat/.
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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StOrMz
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April 14, 2009 10:03:10 PM    View the profile of StOrMz 
When you have finished that, begin your aviators exam. Send it to me for marking when you have finished.
WXO/T-M/NTX/ESN StOrMz/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1 Fleet/VEN/VE
(=A=)(=^SA^=)(=ME=)(=*MAE*=)[NSM][IG][SWC][SRC][BI]


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Bacredi
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April 14, 2009 10:32:02 PM    View the profile of Bacredi 
Also, send it to me for cross-referencing... and because it makes me feel important.
Ensign Zhar Bacredi, Vast Empire Navy
Special Agent, Vast Empire Intelligence
Naval Training Officer, Vast Empire Navy
------------------------------------------
NTO/ESN Bacredi/Sting 1-1/Platform Saratoga/Raegent System/VENA/VEN/VE [MC:1] [EER] [SoV] [SRC] [LoM] [NSM] [MC:1] [NS:1] [VST:1] [KST:1] *[NST:1]* (=A=) (=SA=) (=*ME*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) {GWC} {SRC}
AGT/ESN Bacredi/Chaos/Reaper/ISD Nemesis/Sigma Group/VEI/VE
Drac
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  RE: report
April 15, 2009 9:25:53 AM    View the profile of Drac 
Yes, by all means, Bacredi MUST be mollified. :P

Welcome to the VEN, Power-Country.

-Drac
FL/PO2 Drac/Nazgul 3-9/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1st Imperial Fleet/VEN/VE (=*A*=) [SoA][MC:2][MC:1]
Defendo est optimus (To Defend is noble)
Drac's VE Wiki Profile: http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Drac
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Power-County
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April 15, 2009 8:30:26 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
so i do send it to sToRmZ
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 15, 2009 8:38:16 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
Send it to StOrMz and Bacredi
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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April 15, 2009 8:39:41 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
opps i only sent it 2 stOrMz
Brendon Power County
Hunter-Morrell
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April 15, 2009 8:45:14 PM    View the profile of Hunter-Morrell 
You can just go on and send another message with your AE in it to Bacredi
Vast Empire Imperial Navy
Senior Chief Petty Officer Hunter Morrell
XO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1]
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Power-County
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  RE: report
April 15, 2009 8:50:05 PM    View the profile of Power-County 
true but wouldnt i have to rewrite it to do that?
Brendon Power County
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