SGT AlanRJ
Paladin
Specialise Training: Heavy Weapons Specialist
Course 2: Indirect Fire Operations

Another day dawned on the training facility and Alan had been ordered to report to the proving ground by Sergeant Bentar.  It was a cold day and the wind was blowing quite strongly as Alan headed to the training area.  Upon arriving, Alan noticed that Bentar had already arrived and was standing beside some sort of missile launcher.

"Reporting as ordered Sir" said Alan as he approached Bentar.

Bentar glanced up at him, "ah, it's about time, do you know what this is?" he asked as he pointed at the weapon.

Alan looked at it thoroughly but was not familiar with the exact weapon.  He shook his head slightly and replied "a rocket launcher Sir"

Bentar sighed, "This is the Merr-Sonn PLX-2M Portable Missile System and today you will be learning how to wield such a powerful weapon".

Alan looked at the weapon, taking in its detail and thinking to himself this is going to be fun.

"First, let me show you the assembly and loading of this weapon" said Bentar as he started disassembling the weapon.

Oh joy thought Alan as he looked on, smiling and nodding to Bentar as he learned the finer points of the weapon.  First comes the boring stuff and then comes the shooting.

Bentar proceeded to show Alan how the weapon was assembled and how the weapon itself was loaded and then how it was disassembled.  Bentar then handed the weapon over to Alan and watched as Alan proceeded to assemble it himself.  Bentar then showed Alan the various different firing options.  The first which causes the missile to home in on the magnetic emissions from the repulsorlifts of speeders and tanks, the second causing the torpedo to home in on infrared heat sources, allowing the user to attack landspeeders, airspeeders, and even low-flying spacecraft.  Lastly, Bentar showed that the launcher also has an unguided 'dumb' firing mode for manual aim.

Bentar led Alan into a training simulator and immediately nodded at the technician upon entering.  The technician moved over to a nearby console and started pressing several buttons.  The room shimmered and Alan found himself standing on grass and looking around at nothing, for miles around he saw nothing but grass.  Several seconds later, four human male soldiers materialised in front of him and each of them saluting and saying "Sir".  Alan felt slightly weird by having fake soldiers salute him but he saluted them back.

Bentar looked at Alan and started to explain what the simulation was about, "alright, listen up soldier.  Your troops have just carried out a very high risk operation and have blown up a nearby rebel installation."

"Way to go troops" said Alan before Bentar could finish.

"Yes, quite" replied Bentar, "however"

Why is there always an 'however' why can there never be 'the end' to these tales thought Alan as he listened on.

"However, the rebels are none too pleased and have sent a full contingent of personnel to apprehend or annihilate your squad.  This contingent of rebels will be full of tanks and troops, you will be vastly outnumbered and your troops will not assist you"

"Not assist" blurted out Alan as soon as he heard this "and why the hell not, they are soldiers after all".  Alan could hear the soldiers snickering slightly "button it you" he said to them.

Bentar smiled and continued "these soldiers have been specially trained and are not expendable, you are.  Your task is to ensure that you provide cover for them and ensure that they get to their rendezvous point intact.  It will of course be a benefit if you yourself survive.  One thing to understand is that sometimes direct fire is not always the best solution".

Alan did not like this mission at all, completely outnumbered and only himself to fight the oncoming horde of rebels and what kind of a sentence was that to say thought Alan as he went over in his head the seemingly meaningless information about direct fire.  Alan listened on as Bentar continued talking, he had been in simulators all too well to know that if he got shot then he would receive similar pain but not be injured and that if he died then the simulation would terminate.  I just hope this simulator doesn't malfunction like the last one thought Alan as he remembered back to the time when a simulator malfunctioned nearly costing the lives of him and several of his squad mates.

Bentar handed Alan a datapad and told him that it contained a map of the planet and highlighted where the rendezvous point was.  With that, Bentar left the simulator room uttering a single word, 'begin'.

The troops looked at Alan, waiting for his orders.  Yes, orders thought Alan as he started to look at the datapad to find out where they where and where their destination should be.  Whilst looking, he suddenly felt the ground beneath him start to shudder, looking around.  He suddenly noticed six tanks emerging from a slope.

"Ok guys, you start running that way" he said, pointing in the direction of the rendezvous point, "I'll take care of this"

Alan watched the troops double time it, looking back to the tanks he muttered to himself "I'll take care of this, oh boy, only six tanks Bentar, you could've done better than that"

As soon as he muttered those words, a seventh tank emerged.  Must stop talking thought Alan as he kneeled and loaded up his missile launcher.  Setting the firing mechanism to home in on magnetic emissions, he let fire a rocket.  A trail of smoke followed the rocket and it homed in to the nearest tank.  The rocket detonated directly on target totally destroying one of the tanks.  The remaining tanks, upon seeing the trail of smoke, knew exactly the location to target and immediately opened fire.  Oh hell thought Alan as he stood up and started running after the troops.  The ground exploded around him and he was flung high in the air and came crashing down hard.  This is impossible thought Alan as he got up and started running.  His mind raced there must be a solution to this, what did Bentar say again, something about direct fire is not always the best solution.  Making sure he was out of range of the tanks for the moment, he scanned the map again.  Just south of his location he noticed an abandoned city.  Could come in handy thought Alan.  Alan got on his comlink and told his squad to go to the city and stay there.

Running at full pace, Alan knew that the tanks were hot on his heels and that soldiers would not be far behind them.  Arriving at the city he soon found the squad.  Accessing the datapad, Alan quickly drew up a more detailed layout of the city and picked a narrow winding street and ordered the squad to the far end of the street.

"Now to get someone's attention" he muttered as he moved to the start of the street to see the tanks advancing slowly, searching for their target.  "Over here you son of a" muttered Alan as he fired.  The rest of his muttering was muted over the noise of a rocket firing straight at a tank, exploding it.  The remaining tanks soon acquired their target and started advancing down the street.  Now I got you thought Alan as he smiled and ran further down the street.  The remaining five tanks moved further down the street, advancing on Alan, blasters shot tearing up the ground around Alan as he ran.  He knew that he was far enough down the street, he turned round and quickly reset the firing mechanism of his rocket launcher to its 'dumb' firing mode for manual aim.  Alan crouched down and let loose two rockets.  They spun towards the nearest tank but missed and slammed into a building.

The squad looked on from their location and muttered in disbelief at the miss.  "Damn guy can't even shoot straight" said one of the soldiers, the rest of the squad nodded in agreement..

Alan looked on and fired another missile.  This also missed the target and slammed into another building.

"Oh god" said another of the troops "we've been sent a moron who can't shoot straight to protect us".

Alan looked on as the explosions from his rockets destabilised the buildings and they came crashing down at the front of the tank.  The tanks moved forward but it was soon evident that the rubble in front of it was too steep to traverse.  The tank started to reverse, the tanks behind it seen what was going on and started reversing also.

"No you don't" said Alan as he rushed down an adjoining side street.  He saw the tank that had been at the rear and which was now the lead tank due to the convoy reversing.  He quickly let loose another round of rockets and brought the buildings crashing around the tank.

"That should hold them" said Alan to himself.  He smiled at his handiwork thinking this is actually quite easy.  His smile soon faded as blaster bolts sped past him narrowly missing him.  He looked around and saw hundreds of rebel soldiers advancing on him fast, thankfully they were still too far away to get a proper lock on him but that would not last long.  Really must stop talking he thought as he sped towards his squad.

He reached the squad who now looked at him with an appreciation of his clever thinking concerning the tanks.  Alan soon told them of the advancing rebel army and directed the squad to a large bridge, the rendezvous point being not too far away from it.  The squad moved hastily onward.  Alan looked back at the advancing troops and let fly a couple of rockets which exploded some more buildings, causing them to fall on and around the army killing many and slowing down others.

He ran until he came to the bridge.  It crossed a very deep and very violent section of water and he soon spied his squad on the other side of it.  Blaster bolts bounced around him as he raced over the bridge, knowing that the oncoming army was not far behind.  He arrived at the other side and told the squad to find cover.  Finding cover himself he waited and watched as the army slowly advanced onto the bridge.  Wait for it thought Alan as he raised his weapon, his finger twitching slightly over the firing mechanism.  "Now" he said as he let loose a rocket, then another and another.  The rockets sped forward but instead of exploding around the army, they destroyed the beams supporting the bridge.  The bridge buckled and the army realised too late what was happening.  Buckling some more, the bridge finally gave in and collapsed into the water.  What few soldiers survived the fall into the water where quickly killed by the raging water itself.  Several soldiers that had not made it onto the bridge fired several blaster bolts over at Alan but they were too far out of range and came nowhere near.

Alan soon escorted the squad to their rendezvous point with no further incident.

"Thank you Sir" said one of the troops when they arrived "how did you think of that?" he enquired.
Alan looked at the soldier and simply replied "just something someone said to me".  He smiled as he noticed Bentar arrive.

The simulation came to an end and soon the surrounding area was replaced with just the bare simulator room".

"I see you survived then" commented Bentar as he scribbled on his pad.
"You seem surprised" replied Alan as he smiled.
Bentar merely made some noise and said "well done, you have passed this course but I promise you that I will not make the next one so easy" and with that he walked away.

Alan watched him leave and thought to himself oh goody!

Very well done Alan. I just have one complaint. That was a lot of missiles you shot during the simulation. I believe the magazine only holds two at a time, so you were carrying a lot of extra missiles there on the run. It isn't impossible what you did, but you would be really exerting yourself. This is just something to remember if you do stories with the tool. As far as everything else goes, I loved the creativity. Someone finally got what I believe Indirect Fire means. Good job.

Platoon Sergeant AlanRJ
Paladin Squad
Level Two: Precision Marksmanship
Course: Range Finding & Advanced Vector Calculation

It had been a long time since Alan had been at the training facility.  He wondered if his training instructor was still around and who would be assigned to him as he continued his training of Heavy Weapons Specialist.

“Ah, so you’ve decided to come back” a voice said, behind Alan.

I know that voice thought Alan as he turned round to see who it was.  Alan’s eyes widened slightly as he gazed at his former instructor, Commander Bentar.

“Bentar” said Alan, still surprised to see he was still training.

“You look surprised, I heard you had up and quit” said Bentar.

“I, I had” replied Alan feeling like he was on the back foot already, “but I’ve come back and am here to stay”.

“Yes, well I don’t like quitters” replied Bentar

“I’m not a quitter” retorted Alan.

“Yes, well we will see” said Bentar, “classroom, five minutes”.  With that Bentar strode away from Alan without another word being spoken.

I see he hasn’t lost his charm thought Alan as he made his way to the classroom.  I get the feeling the next dew days are going to be tough .

Entering the classroom Alan was surprised to find that he was apparently the only recruit in for this class.  I wonder if Bentar scared them away thought Alan, smiling to himself.  His smile quickly diminished when Bentar strode in.

“Ah, good, you can make it here on time, I was wondering if you had quit on me already” said Bentar.

Alan thought of several comeback lines but thought it best to keep his mouth shut as he didn’t want to fuel Bentar further.

“As you know, today’s class is about range finding and vector calculation” said Bentar.

Oh joy thought Alan this sounds like a lot of fun.  Despite this, he turned his attention to Bentar.  He wanted to show him that he would accomplish this task and accomplish it well.

“First off we will begin with range finding.  Obviously you would use your scope for this but what it is damaged.  You need to know how to ascertain ranges manually.  Now there are several methods to do this but rather than clutter your brain with too many I will tell you the top three methods.  Let us begin with the first way which is also known as the paper strip method”.

Bentar takes a map and a piece of paper and hands them to Alan and returns to the front of the class.  Pressing a button the screen behind Bentar lights up and a map is displayed.  Alan notes that it is different from the one in front of him.

“Now, first thing you do on the map is mark with an X where you are located, next you mark an X on where your target is located.  Take the strip of paper and lay it across both X’s and marks it on the paper where the X’s are.  Then place the paper along the scale at the bottom of the map and you will find the range to your target”.

Sounds simple enough thought Alan.

“Now you try.  You are located at the factory mill” said Bentar.

Alan gazed at the map, he hated reading maps and it took him a little while before he located the mill.  Once he located it, he marked the map with an X.

“Good, now your target is at the dam, tell me the range of the target” said Bentar.

Alan gazed at the map.  He knew that the dam would be beside a river so finding it was relatively easy.  He marked it with an X and then got his paper.  Laying the strip beside both X’s he marked them both on the paper and then lined up the paper alongside the map’s scale.

“Target is 1,100 metres away Sir” said Alan.

“Not bad, the correct answer is that the target is 1,103 metres away.  Try to be more precise in future.  Any slight mistake, no matter how minor could result in a kill or a miss, remember that” replied Bentar.

“Yes Sir” said Alan, wondering whether he would ever make Bentar happy.

“Next method is known as the 100 meter unit of measure method.  This is where a trooper has to visualise the distance 100 meters would be and then ascertain how many of these there would be to the target” stated Bentar.

Alan didn’t like the sound of that, he wasn’t really sure how far 100 meters was so found it hard to even begin to visualise it, he decided that so far he would stick to the paper strip method.

“Last but by no means least is what is termed the bracketing method.  This is where the team determines that the target cannot be no more than X meters but no less than Y meters away.  An average of X and Y will be the estimate of the distance to the target” stated Bentar.

After hearing the various options, Alan decided that his best bet would be to stick to the paper method option.  Now all he had to do when out on a mission would be to remember the map and a piece of paper.

“Next is the vector calculation.  Now this is most difficult when first starting out as there are a lot of variables to take into consideration.  First off is wind, now wind can take its toll on both the sniper for his holding the rifle steady and also on the trajectory of the shot.  Determining the strength of the wind is crucial.  With this is mind, the 12 o’clock system was invented” said Bentar.

“The 12 o’clock system?” queried Alan having never heard of anything like it before.

“Yes.  With you at the centre and the target facing you is 12 o’clock.  The 12 o’clock and 6 o’clock setting have no bearing on the shot.  3 o’clock and 9 o’clock suffers a full value wind and the rest having a half wind suffering” continued Bentar.

“So how do a half and a full setting affect the targeting?” queried Alan, getting slightly confused.

“I’m glad you asked that” said Bentar as he walked up to Alan and handed him several sheets of paper.  “There you will see various ranges and what impact a half and full value has on your trajectory.  Alan glanced up and down the pages and his head swam with all the information contained on them.

“Next there is the angle of the shot.  Sometimes you will have a flat terrain but most times you will either be shooting upwards or angling downwards” said Bentar.

Bentar handed Alan another sheet which detailed the range of the target and the angle of ascent or descent and the necessary adjustment needed to make the shot.

“That’s a lot of information to take in” commented Alan.

“Indeed it is, but that is why you are here, to learn and to get better.  Right now it must seem a bit overwhelming but with time and practice you won’t even need to glance at that, you’ll just know” replied Bentar.

“I hope so” replied Alan.

“There are other factors to take into consideration when making a shot such as light and humidity.  Light will not affect the shot itself but will affect the shooter when he looks through the scope of the rifle.  The light will cause refraction, a bending of light so to speak of.  The best way a sniper can adjust for that is purely by practice, learning how the light affects you personally.  Lastly there is humidity.  The greatest effect of density is on the air.  As the temperature rises then the air density is lowered.  Since there is less resistance then velocity increases.  The general rule with this is that if there is a 20 degree increase in temperature then the rifle should be angled 20 degrees lower to compensate” said Bentar.

Alan’s head was swimming with so much information.  He knew it would take him some time to take it all in.

“Any questions?” queried Bentar.

Alan shook his head, he need time to divulge all this and more importantly, put it into practice.

“Good, then we will reconvene at the shooting ground tomorrow at 14:00 hours” stated Bentar who then proceeded to gather his things and leave the classroom.

Alan spent the rest of the night going over what Bentar had said and going over all of the leaflets that he had handed to him.  He wondered whether he had taken on too much returning to this course but he was also determined to prove to himself as well as to Bentar that he could do it.

All too soon the following day arrived and Alan was stood at the firing ground at 14:00 hours.  He had dark circles under his eyes and Bentar wondered whether Alan had gotten any sleep at all.  Alan had in fact got a couple of hours sleep but most of his night was spent going over everything that Bentar had said.

“Right, as you can see we have a sniper rifle and in the distance we have a target for you to try to hit” said Bentar.

Alan wasn’t sure he liked the way Bentar had used the word try.  He knew that he would hit it.

“Remember what I told you and good luck” said Bentar as he handed Alan the rifle and moved to a safe distance, taking a pair of binoculars so he could get a close look at the target.

Getting out the map, Alan quickly had the piece of paper between where he was and where the target was.  As soon as he knew the range he got down on the ground and angled his shot accordingly.  He was thankful that it wasn’t bright today so he didn’t have to worry about the light but it was warm so he decided to angle down slightly.  He was about to fire when he felt a light breeze.  Quickly remember the clock system he determined it was a half value only.

Satisfied with everything he fired.  Bentar watched as the shot sailed through and impacted the rocks to the right hand side of the target.  Alan cursed himself knowing something had gone wrong.

“That’s quite alright.  Very few troopers get it on their first go.  Take a deep breath and try again” said Bentar.

Alan set up again, taking everything into consideration and going over it in his head a second time before firing.  The shot sailed through the air and impacted on the target.

“Nice shot” said Bentar, “although hardly a killing shot” as looking through the binoculars he noted that the shot had hit the target in his left side.  “Try again”.

Alan set up again, deciding that he had overcompensated for the humidity.  Angling slightly differently he fired.  The shot sailed through and impacted the targets head cleanly.

“Yes!” exclaimed Alan.

“Very good” replied Bentar, “even though it did take you several attempts”.

“Does this mean I fail?” asked Alan.

“No” replied Bentar, “you have shown that you can ascertain the range and have taken several elements into consideration before firing.  Had you not then your first shot would not have been close.  I recommend you practice, practice and practice.  Only then will you become proficient with the sniper rifle”.

“Yes Sir” replied Alan happy that he had completed this section of the course.

First Sergeant AlanRJ
Paladin Squad
Level 3: Weapons and Electronic Repair
Story 2: Armament Maintenance and Repair

It had been several months since Alan had been on this course.  The Paladin squad kept him busy but right now they had returned from yet another gruelling mission and instead of taking some down time, Alan had decided that it was time to pursue this course.

He had contacted the training department and they had given Alan the date and time of when to attend.  So, there was Alan, seated in the training department, on said date and earlier than said time, waiting for the course to begin.

He could hear the chatter of people within the room as they fidgeted and conversed amongst themselves about petty things just to kill the time.  Alan took the time to relax and to think about what was to come on this part of the course.

The chattering soon quieted down as in strode Commander Bentar.  Alan smiled as it was nice to see a familiar face as he didn’t know any of the people that were about to be trained.  He started to wonder how long Bentar had been training people and then he realised that Bentar was talking so he turned his attention to him and listened carefully.

“Today we will be learning about making repairs to weaponry.  If you attended my last course you will have looked at maintaining an E-11 blaster rifle” said Bentar.

Alan nodded as he remembered that course very well and had been surprised as to how easy the weapon was when broken down into its various components.  If they were going to be looking at that weapon then Alan was going to find this course very easy indeed.

“Well today we will be looking at something more complex.  Today we will be looking at the DC-17M Interchangeable Combat System”.

Alan gulped when he heard the weapon that would be being utilised.  He thought back to one of his last missions when he had looked at the weapon and decided that it was a fine piece of technology.  He also remembered when one of his former squad mates had purchased it for him as a gift.  Then he reminded himself that he was still getting to grips with using the weapon and knew that repairing this item was not going to be easy.

For the next several hours Bentar showed the class how to disassemble the weapon and what the most common problems were with the weapon and how to repair it.  The class was dismissed for lunch and was told to return promptly.

Several of the class grouped together, either to talk about the course so far or to carry on their trivial discussions.  Alan sat alone and contemplated what Bentar had taught them.  He visualised the weapon and how it was broken down.  He knew that Bentar would not be making things easy for the class when lunch was over.

The class were soon seated, waiting for the second session to being.  Some slouched in their seats, obviously having consumed too much over lunch.  Alan sat upright, eager to carry on with the course.  Before each of them were a DC-17M Interchangeable Combat System and a repair kit.

Bentar entered the room and told the room to do a maintenance check on the weapon and to ensure that any problems were rectified.  He informed the class that once the weapon was back together then to activate the weapon and providing everything was in order it should activate accordingly.

“Begin” said Bentar.

The class soon began to look at the weapon.  Alan opened up the repair kit and took into account the various tools that were available to him.  He proceeded to disassemble the weapon, checking the various components of the weapon.

He cleaned all of the barrels and dusted the internal workings of the weapon.  He then oiled up the movable parts of the weapon and started tightening up any parts that looked loose, and ensured that everything was in full working order.

Once satisfied, he then started to put the weapon back together again.  He was very surprised to see just how many parts the weapon broke down into and he looked at all of them thinking that it looked more like a jigsaw puzzle than anything else.

It took him some time to get the weapon back together again.  He had difficulty with some parts, sometimes trying to put them in the wrong place.  He was grateful when he realised that everything fir together perfectly and when he tried to put something in a place that it didn’t go then it just wouldn’t go.

Soon the weapon was fully assembled and Alan took a deep breath and activated the weapon.  He hoped that the weapon turned on as he didn’t want to have to take it apart again.  He let out the deep breath as the weapon activated without any problems.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the class to finish off with the assembling and maintenance of the weapon.  Bentar strode along the row of trainees to ensure that each weapon was in full working order.

“Congratulations” said Bentar, “it looks like you were all successful in getting the weapon to a ready state.  Now we are going to take a fifteen minute recess.  Be back promptly and we will continue the course.  Class dismissed”.

With that, the class dispersed and Alan milled around outside, not really knowing what to do with his time as he waited for the final session of the training to begin.  He wasn’t sure what to expect from the final part but he was looking forward to seeing what Bentar had designed for them.

Alan was back in the classroom before the fifteen minutes had expired.  On everyone’s desk was the DC-17M Interchangeable Combat System and Alan wondered whether it was the same weapon or whether they had received a new weapon.

Soon the rest of the class started entering and getting seated, some looking at the weapon probably thinking the same as Alan had thought already.  Once everyone had seated, Commander Bentar entered and the class grew quiet.

“Now for our final session to begin” said Bentar, “as you can see, we have furnished you with another weapon.  This one is malfunctioning and it is up to you to repair it”.

One of the trainees raised his hand up in the air and Alan wondered what he was going to ask.

“Yes” said Bentar as he pointed at the trainee.

“Excuse me Sir” said the trainee, “but I don’t have my repair kit”.

Alan glanced down at his desk and suddenly noticed that he too didn’t have his repair kit either.  How did I not notice that he thought to himself.

“Correct” replied Bentar, “on the battlefield you may not have a repair kit to hand and if your weapon breaks down then it is up to you to fix it or die.  You may make use of anything you have but it is imperative to get this weapon operational”.

Alan breathed deeply, he knew that Bentar would make the final session difficult but he certainly hadn’t expected him to make it this difficult.

“Any other questions?” queried Bentar.  Bentar glanced around the class and satisfied that no-one had anything else to add he said “very well, you may begin”.

Right, let’s figure out what the problem is first of all thought Alan as he started looking at the weapon.  His initial inspection did not reveal anything.  That didn’t surprise Alan as he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

Alan proceeded to dismantle the weapon.  Thankfully the weapon was designed to be disassembled without the use of tools.  Taking the firing mechanism off the weapon, Alan accidentally pressed the firing trigger and was startled to find that the mechanism did not budge.

What is wrong with this thing thought Alan as he looked more closely at the mechanism.  It took him some time before he finally spotted a small piece of metal wedged firmly into the triggering mechanism.

How the hell am I going to get that out thought Alan as he started to try to pull it out with his fingers.  The piece of metal was so small and so well wedged that his fingers didn’t come close to prising it out.  Alan lay back in his seat and started to question whether or not he could actually repair such a problem.

Alan was about to put his hands up and concede defeat when he suddenly remembered something.  Wait a minute he thought as he started to plunge his hand in his pocket.  He hoped that he still had it.  A smile went across his face as he pulled it out and he thought to himself eureka.

Holding it up before him, he could barely make it out as it was so small but there it was, a hair pin.  He remembered finding it on the floor of his house before leaving for the course and he was going to give it back to its owner when he got home, name his wife and squad leader of Paladin, Lucky.

Right now, it would make for a useful tool.  He wedged it in against the piece of metal.  It took him several attempts and at one point he thought that the hairpin would actually break at it bent at a very bad angle but finally the piece of metal dropped out and landed on his desk.

Now to get this thing back together thought Alan as he startled putting the pieces of the weapon together.  Finally the weapon was intact and Alan hoped and prayed that the weapon would activate properly.

He pressed the activation switch and waited for the weapon to activate.  The weapon takes mere seconds to switch on but in Alan’s eyes it was taking an eternity.  Finally the weapon activated and Alan was never more relieved in his life than he was at this very moment.

Alan raised his hand up in the air.

“Yes” said Bentar as he walked over to Alan, “are you giving up already?”

“No sir” replied Alan as he showed Bentar the weapon.

“Impressive” commented Bentar, “many trainees fail to get the weapon working.  May I ask how you got it working?”

Alan showed his the hairpin.

Bentar glanced at it and smiled, saying “I didn’t know you needed those”.

Alan laughed and replied “it’s not mine Sir”.

Bentar said “I didn’t think it was.  Well congratulation, you have passed.  I look forward to seeing the same kind of ingenuity in your next course”.

“Thank you Sir” replied Alan.

He got up and left, noticing that a lot of the trainees were hard at work, most having found the problem but failing to come to a resolution as to how to fix it.  Alan was just happy to have passed.

Angel wrote:
Grader = Angel
Date = 1/27/2009
Grade = NOT PASS (see comments)

Fairly well written, but I'm not passing you at this time for one reason only: At level three you should be able to write more detailed than this.

Just saying "Alan took it apart, piece by piece," isn't going to cut it. There are hundreds and thousands of websites out there with details of the sci-fi behind blaster rifles and such. Write about specifics...Trigger mechanisms, power packs, cooling coils, gas recycle chambers, etc etc.

If this was a level 1 story I would have passed it easily.