(luke and darth vader are fighting on the death star)
Vader: Luke I know what you got from christmas
Luke: (jumps from his hiding place) How do you know what I got for christmas
Vader: I have felt your presents
(Luke and Obi-Wan go out for some chinese food)
Obi-Wan notices that luke is haveing trouble eating with the chop sticks and says "use the forks luke, use the forks
Q: why would a docter make a good jedi
A: a jedi must have patience
Q:What do you call a sith who wont fight
A:a sithy
Q:How is duck tape ike the force
A:It has a dark side and a light side and binds the galaxy together
Q:Why did the storm trooper jump up and down
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.
Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A bow TIE.
Q: Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
A: To get to the other dementia.
Q: Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.
Q: How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.
Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.
Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: Because the chickens Forced him to.
Q: What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
A: The outside.
Q: Who tries to be a Jedi?
A: Obi-Wannabe
Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.
Q: What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
A: It gets wet.
Q: Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?
A: So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"
Q: As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?
A: "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to get a new chronometer.
Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A: Because he's always making new friends.
Q: What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
A: Baby Jawas.
Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.
Q: Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
A: They're afraid of whiplash.
Q: What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
A: The Ackbar.
Q: How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
A: He'd Wedge himself in.
Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!
Q: How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
A: None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.
Q: What do Ithorians put things in?
A: Jar Jars.
Q: Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
A: Do well, you will do!
Palpatine is zapping Luke, and Luke says, "Father, please! It tickles!!!"
Ephant Mon walks into Chalmun's cantina and Wuher asks, "Why the long face?"
Two Stormtroopers walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
After Anakin is done dueling with Dooku, he says, "Very good, let me give you a hand."
Lucas gets his films mixed up... "Episode III: Vaders of the Lost Gundark"
There's a sale at the Maul.... everything's half off.
top ten resons star wars characters are the best
10. In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".
9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- The Millannium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a wookie.
8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh -- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard didn't look so good
7. One word: Lightsaber
6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire withone glance
5. The Death Star doesn't care if a world is "M" class or not.
4. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters
3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I"
1. Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.
you might be a redneck jedi if
Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
