Hey Auzuria, I am not an actual trainer for the Navy, but I think everyone's been pretty busy with the ESC (Elite Squadron Competition) going on right now...I'm taking a break from it for an hour or so, so I thought I'd help you get started...

Below is the typical instructions out Training Officer, Shazam generally give...enjoy. If you have any questions or problems feel free to message me on IRC...

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=VENA_Staff

Now that you've posted here on the ComNet, you've actually completed the Imperial Initiation (II) phase of Basic Training (BT).  BT's second phase is called Flight School (FS), which is made up of three chapters and an exam.  The first chapter, and probably the most important aspect of our system, is that of Character Creation- the bio.  In order for your character to exist in our club, our universe if you will, you need to create them in written form, detailing their stories, their personalities and the physical aspects that we may be aware of with a glance or perhaps things we can not see with the naked eye.  Either way, you're going to tell us how to describe you're character in a more detailed fashion than you're probably used to, but that's part of the fun

So, if you'll follow the link below, you'll be able to see the entirety of Flight School, the portion of BT I was referring to above.  BT is, essentially, training and thus, once you've passed through it, you're going to be placed in an Active Squadron, in 'Active Duty'.  So, depending on how well you do here against the recruits currently training here, you'll receive a rank at the end of your training and receive certain recommendations or promotions.  You'll want to go to Chapter 1- Character Development.  So, lets get off to a good start and get you goin- Rock On!

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29
 
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Senior Chief Petty Officer 'Tomas' Dagoram
FL/SPO Tomas/Nazgul 3-1/mSSS Atrus/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [SoA] [MC1] [MC2] [VC:B]

"Fight on and fly on to the last drop of blood, the last drop of fuel, to the last beat of the heart."

Clearly Canadian!

Alright...sorry it took long, for this to come up, but again I had to gather everyrhing in my head, I even had to look for a character pic to help.. anyway here is the bio finally...


Name: Auzuira Kethers

Age: 28

Height 5ft 8 inches

Eye Color: torquiose

Hair Color: dark purple

Parents: Sokulo and Versailies Kethers

Planet: corellia

Race: Corellian


Having born to two happy parents Sokulo and Versailies
Kethers the small baby cried having to let them know everything
is fine. The mother mostly being happy and wanted to hold her child so the nurse and docs let her do so giving her a blanket for the baby to which has the same color hair as her parents...a dark purple color.

All three of them living in Corellia and as the days past by and weeks the mother and baby was able to go home the father being in a cloud car and took the two home in that and both would take turns taking care of the baby even when she cries at night.They keep taking care of her till she got old
enough to take care of herself.

Years pass and she is 16 now playing with her corellian friends and quite the playful one at that they would pretend to have weapons in hand and shoot at one another even though half her friends have the actual weapon some being her age, others 18 and there are some 17 year olds, it was more of a fun practice game even though most know the actual routine. They didn't do this all the time though would hang out in some places then return home to their families so as not to worry them.

Auzuria's parents were working at the time themselves
infact they started working a few days after she was born and had a
droid to take care of her unless they were home and the droid did a good job of it too. Auzuria being at this age has her serious personalities and good personalities too, she was able to get along with everyone about her, but her serious mostly showed and that came from her fathers side which they were funny here and there, but when it comes times to being serious funny isn't even in the picture anymore, it was time to be serious and get what important things need to be done.


She was attending school to, so as she could learn about what is going around her, learning from the good teachers of Corellia and as her school years go on so does her age and when she was 19 she graduated then went onto better things things that could help out her family in the long run, but she didn't want to stay there for long as she decided it was time to head into much more better things...and this was when she turned 28 and decided to be in the Imperial Navy and help out the Empire.

This was something that made her parents smile about,
this was something that made them think "She has learned
alot all her years of growing up". So this is where the
rest of her life goes on.

Welcome to the Navy, Auzuria.  I'm LCDR Jovak Macloid, and I'll be your wing XO once you complete your training and move into the fleet. 

Reading over your Bio, it looks like there are a few things that you have going very strongly for you, and a few things that could use a little bit of work.  No worries on that account, that is what we are here for....if you stay in the Navy for very long, we will help you become a top-notch writer.

The main problem that I am seeing is the way that your bio flows.  You have obviously put a lot of thought into your character, and can see it very clearly in your mind.  That's really good, it's the most important part of writing and of character creation, but you have to put it out in a way that is easy to read.  The way you have this written makes that a bit difficult.  You have most things written in present tense "This happens, then this happens, then this happens..." etc.  That by itself makes things a bit more difficult...we aren't used to reading things written like that, so it is harder for our minds to process it.  Think of how your favorite book is written...most use past tense.  Example:  "Auzuria was born to two happy parents, Sokulo and Versailies" flows better, sounds neater then "Having born to two happy parents Sokulo and Versailies".  Little things like that, really just changing a word or two, can make all the difference in the way your writing is viewed.

Once you get that done, then I'd recommend fleshing out a few of the details that you've incorporated into your bio.  You have a lot of very specific things scattered through it, but never really go much into it...one sentence and you are onto the next thing.

That is just a few things that I've noticed in the way that you write, and again, don't take any of this personally...I'm just trying to help.  If you have any questions, either send me a message through the Comnet, or look me up on IRC or AIM: Enak19.

And once again, welcome to the Vast Empire.

I was gonna say that, Shaz!

I don't think I ever said "hello" on the Cnet. Welcome to the Navy.

Hey Auzuria, just wanted to let you know about the newly-implemented Academy story. It can be found on the Naval Story Board by the name "Battlefront: Suvari Conflict (VENA)". Most of what you need to know is in the first post, but if you have any questions feel free to ask me. It's pretty unrestrictive, so have fun and take the chance to get used to writing in the VE before being placed in a squadron.

Note: This isn't required for graduation from the Academy, but I'd recommend giving a try so you can get a feel for the writing here.