Alright- welcome to the Naval Academy
I'm going to tell you that you started off alright, but began to buzz away near the end. It should be known that our club kind of frowns upon using everyday items in the SW universe, so the TV and video games thing would have to be altered to fit more SWish text, or eliminated altogether for greater sustenance
That doesn't mean it was bad though. I think you have some understanding of your character, but I'd like to better define for you what we expect out of our bios. Below is the text I usually hand over to our new recruits so they understand what it is they will be subject to over the next few days- I'd like you to read through it and visit our page, indicated within the writing below, on bios: hopefully it will become more clear to you what
you want to do with your character. If you'll edit your bio when ready, I'll check it once again, and hopefully you'll be ready to go. If not, I'll indicate more specifically what needs to be edited. Don't worry- not nearly as much editing as you're thinking. Lemme know if you have any problems
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Howdy there- I'm the training officer (TO) of the Vast Empire Naval Academy (VENA). Our staff, the VENA-S, is composed of trainers and operators, all who can be seen at the following website:
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=VENA_Staff
Now that you've posted here on the ComNet, you've actually completed the Imperial Initiation (II) phase of Basic Training (BT). BT's second phase is called Flight School (FS), which is made up of three chapters and an exam. The first chapter, and probably the most important aspect of our system, is that of Character Creation- the bio. In order for your character to exist in our club, our universe if you will, you need to create them in written form, detailing their stories, their personalities and the physical aspects that we may be aware of with a glance or perhaps things we can not see with the naked eye. Either way, you're going to tell us how to describe you're character in a more detailed fashion than you're probably used to, but that's part of the fun
So, if you'll follow the link below, you'll be able to see the entirety of Flight School, the portion of BT I was referring to above. BT is, essentially, training and thus, once you've passed through it, you're going to be placed in an Active Squadron, in 'Active Duty'. So, depending on how well you do here against the recruits currently training here, you'll receive a rank at the end of your training and receive certain recommendations or promotions. You'll want to go to Chapter 1- Character Development. So, lets get off to a good start and get you goin- Rock On!
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29
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*Flash Was Here...*
WC|TO/CMD Shazam/Phoenix 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=MA=) (=*FOCE*=) [CBV*] [LoM] [LSM] [MC2] [VC:S] [SV*] [DSM] {Platinum Writing Medal}
Phoenix Wing Commander and Training Officer