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Topic:  Jelly's Bio Redone
Jelly Bean
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Post Number:  8
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  Jelly's Bio Redone
November 17, 2006 11:31:01 PM    View the profile of Jelly Bean 
Physical Appearance

Native Language: Basic
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: left eye is green right eye is dull silver  (new Surgery update both eyes are green now)
Skin Color: Slightly Tan
Height: 6' 2
Weight: 150 lbs
Age: 20
Full Name: Gainun "Jelly Bean" Rigar
Physical Build: Average Built
Scars: Scar running down right eye
Tattoos:Bears his fathers id tag on his right arm
Homeworld: Coruscant


Talents/Skills

1)    Has Trained extensively in the Art of close Range combat
  1A) Does not have a particular fighting style mainly practices hitting pressure points to subdue a foe
  1B) Trained extensively with Swords and prefers one in close combat
2)  Father trained him with long range and medium range rifles has a good feel for firing Mid range Rifles but is more at home with 
Sharpshooter Rifles
3) Has a biological cybernetic eye (right eye)
3A) eye has possibility for up grades at a later date,currently eye has a 5 meter zoom, and can link with specially modified sniper scopes for better sniping and accuracy.
4) Spoken languages: Bothan and Mandilorian

Background History

Born on Corusant  to his mother Atra Rigar and Sether Rigar his Father. Both parents Served in the Imperial Army so Gainun is familar with duties done. He was well educated during his childhood.

His Father was one of the most elite Stormtrooper Sharpshooters.
He was highly skilled at his trade. He worked on assassination jobs as well as battlefield sharpshooting. During his 12 years of Loyal service he has gotten over 240+ kills. He died on the moon of Endor his death had no details though. He was reported KIA ,but his body was never found.Many comrades that had survived reported that he was ambushed in the forest while moving positions by 7 rebels. Also reported that only the seventh killed him.

Atra his mother was an Imperial  Trainer. She trained some of the more elite battalions on Coruscant. She only served the Empire for 7 years joining up after Gainun was born. Her death occurred in an unclaimed Terrorist attack. Her dental records identified her as dead.

Sether and Atra had known each other all their lives. They where married 3 weeks before Sether signed up for his Imperial Career. Atra followed him 5 years later after the birth of their son Gainun.

Before Her death Atra taught Gainun Imperial command Structure as well respect and drilling many lessons that would help him in the Future. His mother was killed on the Day of his 7th birthday.  He mourned shortly but contiuned on. He became a cold person from then on when serious sitatuions arose. His Father taught him everything he knew about Sniping and Vibroblade combat up until his death on Endor.

Gainun learned to still be a happy person and not be hateful to other people. A lesson his parents always stressed since it was possible that they would be die in the line of Duty.

He made many friends over his teenage years. One of which was Gurney Morex . They where the best of friends until Gainun's 16th birthday where Gainun had told him he wanted to join the Imperial Army. Gurney didn't want him to join , Gainun pushed him away.

When he was 17 Gurney meet Gainun in a bar Gurney proceeded to insult his Father which angered Gainun. They both drew their knives and fought each other. During the fight Gainun's right eye was slashed out which is why he now has an cybernetic eye.
Since the incedent he has received two surgeries for his eye. First giving capabilty to link up with specially modified scopes and other devices (only scopes where specified to him) and the other giving the ability of a 5 meter zoom. (There is a draw back he has to close one eye to focuse control of the eye. Future surgeries might make this easier but none are available at this time.) Gainun broke off all contact with Gurney and many of his Friends on Coursant. He moved to Tatooine to further train.

He has since then done little hunting jobs for people on Tatooine hunting down Rouge Tuskan Raiders. Also on Kashyyyk he Went after one Rouge Wookiee that had killed his Family. Gainun had to track him for a month before he finally caught up with him on the forest floor. They first stalked one another with sharpshooter rifles. After about 4 hours both had run out of ammo and finally engaged in close quarters combat . The Wookiee fought him with its Vibroblade. Gainun eventually outsmarted him and gained the upper hand. Gainun returned to the village with his head and vibroblade. To Gainun this was the first step into Manhood he wanted.He then decided he would follow and exceed where his father had failed.

Thus on Gainun's 19 th birthday he walked into the Imperial recruiting office and signed up to join the best of the best StormTrooper Corps.

Personality
Can be very laid back at times as well as joking except during combat he becomes very cold and shows no emotion.


[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 9:22:03 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 10:02:08 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 10:31:38 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 1:22:27 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 5:57:19 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited November 19, 2006 5:58:21 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited January 10, 2007 10:17:38 PM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited January 12, 2007 10:08:54 AM)]
[This message has been edited by Jelly Bean (edited January 29, 2007 10:15:18 AM)]
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Major General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  5059
Total Posts:  7772
Joined:  Sep 2000
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  RE: Jelly's Bio
November 18, 2006 2:21:51 AM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Interesting. However, for this character biography, I'm expecting 2-3 full paragraphs. This is the establishment of your character - it's good to be detailed about his/her history.

Also, be sure to proofread your posts before you submit them (multiple times over if need be in order to produce a quality work).

Add a little more detail, and I'll reread.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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Jelly Bean
ComNet n00b
 
Jelly Bean
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  9
Total Posts:  811
Joined:  Nov 2006
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  RE: Jelly's Bio Redone
November 19, 2006 1:23:32 PM    View the profile of Jelly Bean 
Ok is that good
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Major General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  5065
Total Posts:  7772
Joined:  Sep 2000
Status:  Offline
  RE: Jelly's Bio Redone
November 19, 2006 5:48:47 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
It's better, and I'll place you in a squad. However, I highly suggest that you follow the advice below:

1) Proofread. There are many, many grammatical errors. These types of errors make reading very unenjoyable, so I suggest you proofread (numerous times if need be) in order to correct the grammar before you produce a final result.

2) Watch the spelling. There were numerous spelling errors in this post. One of them you admitted to: Kashyyyk. Also, the race is "Wookiee", not "Wookie". If you are unsure about spelling, don't second guess it in a post. Try and find the correct spelling for the word(s).

3) Keep in mind your proper nouns. There were many times during your post in which you did not correctly use the proper nouns you were referring to. For example, the following are correct proper nouns: Imperial, Imperials, Stormtrooper, The Vast Empire, Coruscant, Wookiee, Kashyyyk, Empire.

Saying "I was a part of the empire" is completely different than "I was a part of the Empire". The proper noun makes a huge difference in a sentence.

Check your email for details.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
-----------------------
Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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