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ComNet > Imperial Navy > Archived Naval Academy > New Imperial Navy with my beginning of life story.
 
 
 
Author
Topic:  New Imperial Navy with my beginning of life story.
Jimmy Zacktura
ComNet n00b
 
Jimmy Zacktura
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  2
Total Posts:  4
Joined:  Oct 2006
Status:  Offline
  New Imperial Navy with my beginning of life story.
October 20, 2006 2:36:47 PM    View the profile of Jimmy Zacktura 
Hello im Jimmy Zacktura, please read my story to find out a bit about me !
[This message has been edited by Jimmy Zacktura (edited October 20, 2006 3:30:27 PM)]
Jimmy Zacktura
ComNet n00b
 
Jimmy Zacktura
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
Post Number:  3
Total Posts:  4
Joined:  Oct 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Recruit here ready for Basic Training !
October 20, 2006 3:29:00 PM    View the profile of Jimmy Zacktura 
I was walking down the ship i was born on at a very early age when i bumped into a very broad man which knocked me over, after he picked me up and dusted me off when an expulsion went off on the side of the ship and we ran to the deck.

Looking over to the glass of the front of the ship we saw that there were over a 100 fighters shooting and flying towards us at great speeds. with each hit hitting us even at my age i knew we were not going to last very long. The man which i was with earlier came running to me and told me to go find my parents, my father was no-where to be found but i realised he would be helping at starboard as he was an important man which i never knew the name of. My mum however was lying there very bruised and unconscious in the bed which i was born, i walked over very slowly to my relive to find her there still breating. When she knew it was me she rolled over slowly and said to me 'my dear son my only child you shall achive great things or horrible things in your life and i want you to have this' she handed me a silk braclet which i have kept on me since. she then rolled over and died a painless death, i dont know to this day what made her die proberly the explosisions.I went to run out of the room to relise that the doors had gone to lock down.

I went over to my locker and relised nothing would help me in there and went over to my fathers, he had a space suit which i sort i would not need and some documents. Then all of a sudden a whole blow into the side of the wall which greated an atmosphere of space, i knew i needed the space suit now but i didnt know how it worked i just threw it over me hoping for the best, and there i was in my first ever disaster which was not my last. i went to look out of the ship to find a means of escape when the cargo door open with serveral bodys floating around in the atmosphere trying to service for a little longer i went around the ship relising i was the only human alive on this ship or only one from the ordinal crew. There was however hardly any of the ship remaining, i sat there in that ship on my own for serveral dayz untill it finally started being sucked into the atmosphere of the planet Dantoonie.  It was going as fast as anything id been on and i had to stop it some how, i ran around looked for the deck which there i found the only working room with only one other person in it. the man i pumped into earlier that day. we both together made the ship have a safe landing which secure my life on this universe.

I lived my life with that man which name was Zecky Zilone which then went back to the imperial navy and died in battle. He taught me everything i know and one day i hope i see my father and relive Zecky Zilone's steps and my father in the imperial Navy.

Jimmy Zacktura
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
 
Shazam
 
[VE-NAVY] Commander
[VE-VEEC] Chief Reporter
 
Post Number:  2674
Total Posts:  4197
Joined:  Jun 2003
Status:  Offline
  RE: New Imperial Navy with my beginning of life st
October 20, 2006 6:09:04 PM    View the profile of Shazam 
Howdy there- I'm the training officer (TO) of the Vast Empire Naval Academy (VENA).  Our staff, the VENA-S, is composed of trainers and operators, all who can be seen at the following website:

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=VENA_Staff

Now that you've posted here on the ComNet, you've actually completed the Imperial Initiation (II) phase of Basic Traing (BT).  BT's second phase is called Flight School (FS), which is made up of three chapters and an exam.  The first chapter, and probably the most important aspect of our system, is that of Character Creation- the bio.  In order for your character to exist in our club, our universe if you will, you need to create them in written form, detailing their stories, their personalities and the physcial aspects that we may be aware of with a glance or perhaps things we can not see with the naked eye.  Either way, you're going to tell us how to describe you're character in a more detailed fashion than you're probably used to, but that's part of the fun.

Really, the bio is a tool- think of it as the essential form of telling someone what your character is like.  When someone in your squadron is wanting to know what you're eye color was again or what that abandoned planet was your character was born on- where are they going to look?  SO- this is a source of all knowledge on your character, a resevoir of important info.  Eventually, you're bio will contain other important facts about you, the member of the Vast Empire Navy, like rank, medals, commendations and other certificates.

So, if you'll follow the link below, you'll be able to see the entirety of Flight School, the portion of BT I was referring to above.  BT is, essentially, training and thus, once you've passed through it, you're going to be placed in an Active Squadron, in 'Active Duty'.  On the other hand, during training, you're actually a part of a Training Squadron- this squadron is known as 'Venom Squadron.'  During you're time here you will need to make at least one report out to the squadron commander and XO- Jaden.  Jaden is also the TX, so it shouldn't be too difficult to pinpoint him.

Also, depending on how well you do here against the recruits currently training, you'll receive a rank at the end of your training and receive certain recommendations or promotions.  On the Sunday of your completion of BT, you will have a graduation ceremony with you're fellow recruits and rewards and the like will be handed out.  Note though, only the strong and studious will make it that far, though I don't think any of our activities are too overwhelming, just difficult at first to get used to. 

So, you'll want to go to Chapter 1- Character Development first where you'll create a bio.  Just remember that in the course of your training sometime, preferably before the end of the week and before you're graduation ceremony, you'll have to make a report.  So, lets get off to a good start and get you goin- Rock On!

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29

If you'd like to check out the Naval Academy site, you can follow the link below to explore a little

http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Naval_Academy


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Now then- that's kind of our customary welcome message, lol.  However, it appears you've already set to work on a storyline that, probably, would be detailed in your bio- the 'History' portion to be exact.  What you need to know is that your story works alright, its just not well written at this point.  That's not me being cynical, it's just a simple observation based on the idea that you may not have proof-read it.  For instance, there's no capitilization, some words and grammer don't make sense when worked with eachother, and there's just a lack of any real detail or overall organization.  Again, that's not to say you're a bad writer, you just wrote ina hurry and didn't get through what probably needed to be explained.

Now, that's where the bio comes into play- you need to read through that section on 'Bios' and focus on creating the most accurate depiction you can for your character.  Let's get a rough draft up in the next day or so and I'll help you along with it- I should be online as well in case you need me.  Read the contacts page at the top of this post if you need to get in contact with me; Rock ON.
 
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*Flash Was Here...*

SC/CMD Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]

NazgulSquadron

Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
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