As we've discussed in greater detail, you're character has a lot of history to offer- you'll want to show that in the history portion of your bio then
So, do indicate all that awesome story we were getting together, because I do recognize this as a rough draft.
A few comments- you'll want to make sure you keep your 'History' in the same tense, that being 1st person "I am, I did, I will" or third person "He did, She was, They will..." Also, try to keep from making tiny little sentenes, though that shouldn't be difficult once you've decided upon the look and feel of your planet as well as begin to indicate other important aspects of your story.
Also, you'll need to add a heading for physical and mental description where you'll run through exactly how your character looks and acts. In the case of physcial description, you'll describe how they look, act and smell, perhaps how they stand and if you'd like to go further with it, how they look when they react to certain things or how they seem on a general day. The emotional description goes a little deeper, indicating deep emotional ties to certain phrases or events so that you're character will automatically have something to go off of should a certain set of events occur. In short- is he happy, sad, smart, dumb, annoyed or patient? This is where you describe that aspect. These are put in there to fully emphasize the fact that your bio is a tool for the people you'll be working with- not just you. Pretend you had to describe you're character to someone as well as an excellent accounting of their history- that's your bio: trying to get people to describe you without you having to be there. That's how they write you into stories after all! If they don't know how you'll react to them, how can they meet you and include you?
Can't wait to see you're finished version. If we get you through this week I think you'll have two other people graduating with you, so lets hurry this up if we can, but only if you're comfortable with it. Thanks for putting some real time into this- rock on.
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*Flash Was Here...*
SC/CMD Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
NazgulSquadron
Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training