Atrick25
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Atrick25's Bio
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May 30, 2006
7:33:26 PM
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Name: Acrutis Manor
Callsign: Atrick25
Race: Human
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Home Planet: Naboo
Height: 6'0
Weight: 140 lb's
Hair: Blonde, turns white in sunlight
Eye: Deep Blue
Attributes and personality:
Acrutis wears glasses, but still from time to time wears contacts and has a tattoo of a TIE Fighter on his back
History:
Acrutis was born on Naboo to his socially challenged parents, Dominick and Vally Manor. He was an only child, and was loved by his parents very much. He discovered at the age of six, that he had amazing reflexes, which allowed him to dodge anything thrown at him by other kids or the mean adults of Naboo.
Acrutis was an intelligent student at the school on Naboo, and consistently made top marks in all of his classes. He loved to read, especially about the Clone Wars and the technology used then. Most of all, he was fascinated by the space battles and the ships. Everyday he would grab the technology holocron from the shelf and watch the schematics and test runs of TIE Fighters, X-wings, TIE bombers, and other assorted ships. He was also dreamed of flying these ships and everytime he saw a VEN recruitment flyer, he brought it home in hopes he could use it some day.
Shortly after his tenth birthday, Acrutis left his home one night and headed deep into the city for some "fun." Soon, he discovered a dark alleyway that led to a run down cantina. Inside, a rough looking bartender was washing out glasses with a dirty rag and eyeing him suspiciously. There were other people in there as well but one came over and told him to leave and that it was a, "private cantina." Acrutis, being objectionable to orders, said no and was firmly battered around the head by the butt of a blaster pistol. He got the point then. He soon returned home to worried parents.
Around a year later, his father was accused of murder and taken to jail, leaving Acrutis as the man of the house. This forced him to drop out of school and work to keep him and his mother afloat. His mother died six months later, and he left the planet for a better life somewhere else.
He took the next ship to Coruscant and there became a delivery boy, shuttling cargo and smuggling between main shipping lines, praying that inspectors would not find the contraband on board. After a nasty run-in with the Galactic Police, he decided to shape up. Acrutis joined the Vast Empire Navy, hoping to put his meager piloting skills to a better use.
Personality:
Acrutis hates taking orders, and is usually the one who argues with the order. He is headstrong, but gives in if he agrees with the plan somewhat. He likes to take risks, which sometime get him in trouble, but mostly just make hime manuver to avoid an asteroid. He likes to fly, practicing in the simulators almost everyday for about 2-3 hours.
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited May 31, 2006
12:37:39 AM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited May 31, 2006
4:08:36 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 1, 2006
5:47:26 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 1, 2006
6:00:35 PM)]
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Jaden
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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May 31, 2006
12:10:42 AM
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From what I can see, thats a very good Bio for your first draft. Shazam will have to look it over to make sure though...I'm sure he'll have some critisizm to put in there.
Welcome to the Vast Empire. -----------------------
Jaden Khaar
Vast Empire
FM/WO2 Jaden Khaar/Nazgul 1-2 (Nazgul 2)/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/DEF/VEN/VE (=*A*=) (=*SA*=) [VC:S] (SV) (CBV) |
Atrick25
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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May 31, 2006
12:40:37 AM
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Thaks for the preview analysis 
Hope Shazam likes it as much  |
Shazam
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 1, 2006
4:29:09 PM
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Alright, lookin good man. I see you've picked Naboo- that's a rather famous planet considering it's involvement in previous SW films. Now that presents you with some advantages and disadvantages. For one, people get where you come from and the type of society most Naboo people live in. However, according to your age, the Empire had been in control of that planet for roughly five years when you were born. You said that the streets were kind of dangerous- dare you elaborate? I suppose what I'm going for, is why were your parents social outcast, why was it dangerous and did it support your choice to join the VE? While your reasons for joining are rather obvious and straight forward, one tends to wonder about the after-effects. Does your character regret joining after being through it a little? Does killing other people present a morale dilemma, and does that previous episode through the dark alley compliment your decisions?
Now, that's not so much for the reader, but for you. In order for you to write about your character, you need to know him in and out: trivial matters are of the upmost importance in the world of Fantasy, science fiction and fiction in general.
Your bio is okay by me, with the interesting stuff above if you can get it in, but I'd still like you to check out our Character Creation page under "Chapter 1" of your Flight School training if you haven't already. Just to make sure we've got all our bases covered. Now you may begin Chapter 2. You can check that out on the same page below. Rock on (and make sure you post it here or we may never see it.)
http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=Flight_School_%28FS%29 -----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*
CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training |
Atrick25
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 1, 2006
5:48:41 PM
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Edited the streets part but if you read you see his father was accused of murder. That is the reason why they were socially challenged. Everyone had there suspicions about them.
Ill get to Chapter 2 ASAP! |
Atrick25
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 1, 2006
5:58:52 PM
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Barrel Roll
The Barrel derives its name from the flight path the aircraft performs, circumscribing the shape of a barrel as the aircraft rolls round a central axis. It is an energy management maneuver possessing both and defensive potential. Offensive Barrel Rolls If you find yourself traveling too fast, you may both overshoot your foe and fly directly into his gun envelope. This happens because your closure rate is too high, and you overtake your target. The barrel roll provides an effective solution by wasting speed.
If you can't bleed enough speed with a barrel roll, pull back harder on the stick and execute a roll opposite the direction of your current turn. The increase in pitch reduces airspeed, and the roll out turns you away from the target and keeps you from overshooting. As you complete the roll, you'll be back on your original course, but at a slower airspeed. Defensive Barrel Rolls Defensively, the barrel roll ca be used to force a quickly approaching attacker to overshoot. It can also maintain enough angle-off-tail to put you out of his lethal cone of fire. Defensive barrel rolls must be carefully timed, however. Initiate the roll too soon, and the bandit will follow you through it. Start too late, and the bandit will have several shot opportunities before you begin the turn. Perfect timing requires that you both surprise the enemy and deny him sufficient reaction time.
Used offensively, the barrel roll can be used if you're overtaking an enemy too quickly.
Used defensively, using the barrel roll can force your attacker to overshoot and pass you.
You nitiate a barrel roll by rolling slightly and applying pitch. Keep the nose pitched to spiral around the axis of your flight path.
Break Turn
The idea behind a break-turn is simple- to get a sharper turn. That can be for any number of reasons, but its going to be the very first manuever you learn, so make sure you understand it. If someone starts firing from behind, you can go into a break turn and avoid the fire pretty easilly- probably some missiles as well. If a target is far and to the right, you can go into a break turn to get it on your heading almost immedietly...
Used offensively, the break turn can cut into someone's turn at a sharper angle or aquire a target
Used defensively, it can throw an unsuspecting enemy off your tail or at least force him to work in order to shoot you down
To initiate a break turn, turn sideways and pitch very sharply so the craft is forced to turn at a sharper turn radius
There you go! Hope they're correct!
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 1, 2006
6:00:53 PM)]
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Shazam
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 1, 2006
9:23:10 PM
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I'd really you rather put that in your own words than just paste it in here, but since I didn't make a note about it, you can go on ahead and get along to Chapter 3. Did you have any questions, comments or concerns about Chapter 2, though?
I really want you to take your time with 3: make it the best you can possibly make it. This is where we really grade you tough. So- just be creative, have fun with it, and read through it like fifty times. If there's something that doesn't seem quite right, highlight it so you can re-word or re-create it so it's just the way you want it. Again, make sure those are posted in here! Keep rockin. -----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*
CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training |
Atrick25
ComNet n00b
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 1, 2006
9:27:17 PM
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No I think I'm pretty good on two. Sorry 'bout that though. Ill get to three shortly -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Atrick25
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 19
Total Posts: 380
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Space Flight
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June 1, 2006
11:00:53 PM
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Space Flight
I picked people from the roster. That's ok right?
"We'll be reaching the Perser Summit in a few moments." cackled the captain of the bulk transport Helios over the intercom. I turned and looked through the window on my left and saw the Interceptor-class Cruiser. Behind her, loomed the planet Tague, which was where we would be practicing our maneuvers in space around it. I turned away from the window to look at the three people that would be flying with me that day. Sitting across from me, Lieutenant Commander Shazam, who is also the Training Officer, was clenching his fists, making his veins pop out along his arms, which could mean he was nervous about me and my fellow trainees out of a simulator and into real TIE's. Krius, another crewman and trainee, was sitting on my left and was poking at the spikes on his head for some reason. Dredj, my other crewman and trainee, was looking very dark at everyone and thing, so I reasoned he was very stressed about something.
Soon afterwards, a slight jolt went through the ship and we docked at the Perser Summit. We then followed Lt. Commander Shazam to a docking bay where four TIE interceptors were sitting in their docking clamps, ready for launch. After getting our flight suits on we entered the cockpits of our TIEs. Inside, I found it to be largely confusing, as I had been when I first entered the simulator, but when I sat in the pilot chair, I remembered the configuration of the controls.
Soon, Lt. Commander Shazam was speaking over the radio. "Now as we leave the docking bay, form up in a T formation outside. We can go from there." I hear the powering up of the other ships so I flip my engine's on and hear the roar of the twin ion engines. I shudder as I remember the countless hours of watching holocrons of tactics, schematics, and dogfights. I release the docking clamps and follow my fellow Navy crewmen into the blackness of space.
The Cruiser behind me, I form up with my temporary squad and listen into the com chatter. "Practice any move you wish, but do not stray to close to the planet. The atmosphere is deemed unbreathable, and I don't want any accidents today" Shazam says over the com. As I turn away, I decide to start off with the basics. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dredj and Krius pulling off some basic maneuvers and I join in. I pull off a Break Turn with relative ease then move on to the barrel roll. The spinning makes me nauseated, but I continue on, remembering button placement and responding to canisters the Perser Summit had dropped days before for target or maneuvering practice. I soon master the Barrel Roll and try to do an Immelman, but almost crash into Krius in the process. "Hey, watch out!" I say, as I veer sharply to the right to avoid a head on collision. I kept it small after that, perfecting my rolls and turns, but keep thinking back to the Immelman. On my second try, I fail again, but vow to practice more on it in the future.
"Guys, form up. We gotta head back." Shazam says over the intercom. I turn to the direction of the Perser Summit and think back on my first experience in a TIE Interceptor. All the training in the simulator was nothing compared to the thrilling feel of an executed turn, then dodging a canister in space. Soon was the atmospheric flight training. But that was another day.
Hope you like it -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Shazam
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 2, 2006
10:20:51 AM
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Sorry bud, not my type of party. The character Shazam is not supposed to be in these post because he's not a training officer, he's the commander of a squadron and wing instead. Thus, you will have to change that and read through my directions once more- I believe I indicated that you needed to actually 'pick' your training officer from the list we had on there. I think there's only two on their now, but that'll be fixed soon enough.
What about your post though? Not bad for a first try, but we can do better. Some simple technical stuff- you need to stay in the same tense. You stayed in 1st person, which is normally difficult for people to get used to, but you wandered between past, present and future. For instance:
Past Tense
"We then followed Lt. Commander Shazam to a docking bay where four TIE interceptors were sitting in their docking clamps, ready for launch. After getting our flight suits on we entered the cockpits of our TIEs. Inside, I found it to be largely confusing, as I had been when I first entered the simulator, but when I sat in the pilot chair, I remembered the configuration of the controls."
Present Tense
"Now as we leave the docking bay, form up in a T formation outside. We can go from there." I hear the powering up of the other ships so I flip my engine's on and hear the roar of the twin ion engines. I shudder as I remember the countless hours of watching holocrons of tactics, schematics, and dogfights. I release the docking clamps and follow my fellow Navy crewmen into the blackness of space."
(I think you meant holograms, not holocrons btw- we're not much in the ways of sith lords yet )
Do you see what I'm talking about there, though? Tenses tend to mess up the other people in your group, so try to stay in the same one, basically.
How about content? Well ask yourself this- what happened? What did you really do and establish in this post? You flew around basically, which is what we were kind of going for and you briefly explained your jubilation in doing the real thing. However, we're kind of looking for more if we can. Like you could talk about your experiences and how they coordinate with this, the differences and familiar bits and pieces. And you could talk a lot more about how you feel about being a part of the Navy, what you think of Krius and whatever commander you decide to pick. Besides that though, this is also to see how skilled you will be at explaining your movements and being technical. So- instead of just saying you did something, explain how you did it. I'd like to see if you understand what you're talking about and if you can get it into words. Also, it seemed extremely short, but that's probably because you did little with the above. But my only point with that is you could be a little more descriptive with how to you get to things and where you go, or it just seems like your there. You could cut out the scene on the way to the Perser Summit or spend a little time talking while you are aboard it, otherwise the bit of information you showed there wasn't worth much.
Did that seem understandable, or do you have any questions, comments or concerns? We'll get this one corrected and be off to your atmospheric one soon enough, though. And, mind you, I don't really grade you for rank according to your first draft on these story post, it's how you make them out in the end that counts. Can't wait to see what you can do man. Rock on.
-----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*
CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training
[This message has been edited by
Shazam
(edited June 2, 2006
10:27:24 AM)]
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Krius
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 2, 2006
12:47:42 AM
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Hey Atrick, do you have MSN. If you do add me at [email protected], so we can talk. I'm gonna wright my space story and i want to talk more about it with how your Character acts. -----------------------
Krius=Leon |
Atrick25
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 2, 2006
1:01:59 PM
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Sure. I'll probably be on later though. I'm at school right now  -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Atrick25
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 26
Total Posts: 380
Joined: May 2006
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Revised Space Flight
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June 3, 2006
4:10:19 PM
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The TIE Interceptor roared to life as Atrick25 threw the ignition throttle. "So, this is what it feels like." he thought out loud to himself. The long hours spent training in the simulators meant little to the actual experience. He had not thought it to be this loud. Soon, Desus One, his training officer, said something over the intercom. "We'll be leaving in a few moments. Once you get outside, try some maneuvers, but don't get to cocky. I don't want any accidents today." Atrick25 swore he could've heard a chuckle after the last statement but ignored it. "Alright, here we go!" Desus One said as the docking clamps released and they flew into the infinite blackness of space.
Once outside Atrick25 looked around. He saw his best friend in the Naval Academy Krius, off of his port side, with Deity close behind him. Atrick25 didn't know much about Deity, except that he was in the Naval Academy with him and Krius. He saw in front of him his training officer, Desus One, who was a nice guy and sometimes had a lot to say. The two academy pupils were practicing manuvers so he decided to join them.
Atrick25 pulled off to starboard, doing a break turn, and felt the rush of adrenaline he had gotten in the simulators. Turning back to port, he did a barrel roll, and found himself upside down, compared to his training party. He righted himself and flew over to his partners, who were forming up as Desus One was talking.
"Right, now that you've all had some time to try a few maneuvers, let's make this a little more challenging. When I say go, I want you to fly as fast as you can. Three droids, one for each of you, will fly from the Perser Summit and try to catch you. I want you to outmaneuver these droids, and take 'em out. Ready? GO!"
Atrick25 quickly pulled off to port and pushed the throttle as fast as it would go. After racing ahead for a few hundred meters, he pulled the ship around to see where the droid was. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of stopping the ship, and was given a few shots from the droid to think about. Quickly gathering his wits, he raced after the droid trying to get his missles locked on. Suddenly, the droid pulled off to starboard and Atrick25 was forced to follow. Firing a few shots at the droid, he knocked out its shields and took out it's left wing. The droid began spinning wildly, narrowly missing Desus One, and exploded a few hundred meters away.
"Holy jeebus!" exclaimed Atrick25 and he could hear Desus One laughing. "Good shot Atrick25, but next time, try not to kill me in the process, ok?" Atrick25 heartily agreed and started pulling back to the dock. He could see that Krius was having a ball teasing the droid, making it turn left then right, only to see empty space. Deity, on the other hand, was having trouble shaking the droid, but managed to pull around and destroy the thing. "Man, I can't wait for the real thing." Atrick25 thought as he turned off the twin ion engines and engaged the docking clamps.
How's this? Any better?
-----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how!
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 3, 2006
4:16:54 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 3, 2006
4:21:50 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 3, 2006
11:37:45 PM)]
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 3, 2006
11:39:49 PM)]
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Krius
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 3, 2006
6:13:35 PM
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Nice! -----------------------
Krius=Leon |
Atrick25
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 34
Total Posts: 380
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Atmospheric Post
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June 3, 2006
9:32:42 PM
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"Well, here we go again." Thought Atrick25 as the twin ion engines in his TIE Interceptor roared to life, for the second time that week. He was about to commence an atmospheric test flight with his pal Krius, classmate Deity, and training officer Desus One. They had talked about it at the mission briefing a few hours before.
"It might get a little rough out there today. Flying in gravity is a lot different than flying in space." Said Desus One. "When we get out there, you may practice any basic maneuvers you want, in order to get used to the gravity on the planet. After that, I have a little surprise for you." He chuckled at that remark and Krius and Atrick25 looked at each other nervously. Desus One noticed their looks and said, "Don't worry. It's not an enemy starfighter. It is, however, an enemy target. But, you'll find out soon enough. You are dismissed." They all stood up, and Atrick25 headed off to prepare for his next mission in his quarters on board.
The roar of his party's engines brought him back to reality as Desus was saying something over the intercom. "Alright guys, I just got permission that we can use droids as target practice in the atmosphere over Berchat. We'll release docking clamps in five." Just as he had said that, the docking clamps released and Atrick25 felt the strange push against his seat as he flew into space and towards Berchat.
Reaching the planet, Atrick25 took the Interceptor in. As he hit the outer layer, the ship began to rock violently. This didn't surprise him, as it had happened before when he had been a smuggler along the trade routes of the galaxy. The jolting continued for several minutes then suddenly, he was flying through the clouds of Berchat and flying smoothly.
He quickly pulled a break turn and a barrel roll in quick succession to see how they felt in gravity. "Wow, this is weird." Atrick25 could hear Krius say. Next, Atrick25 increased his speed and pulled an Immelman, which put him high above the cloud tops, and giving him a view of the crater encrusted planet. A few thousand meters to the south-west, he could see a small Imperial outpost, equipped with auto-defense turrets. He wondered how far they could shoot when suddenly a droid fighter zipped past his starboard bow. Then two more followed, forming up behind the first. "Guys, we have company!" Atrick25 said as he took off after the speedy droids.
Struggling against the intense G-force of the planet, Atrick25 threw the throttle in high gear. They engines and boosters roared as they reached maximum capacity and strained to stay there. Soon, Atrick25 could see the individual plates of the droid ships, and eased off the throttle until he could get into position. The droids then split up forcing Atrick25 to follow the starboard side one and getting close behind it. He pulled a break turn, putting his guns ahead of the droid and fired. It hit the droids shields, destroying them, and badly damaged it's left wing. "Déjà vu." He thought as he fired a last round into its full and sending fragments everywhere.
After flying back to the rendezvous point, he could see that a droid was chasing Krius and decided to help out. He locked onto it with missles and fired, exploding his third kill of his career. "Hey, thanks man." Shouted Krius into the intercom and Atrick25 replied a simple "your welcome."
Soon, after helping Deity destroy his droid, Desus One reported back to the Perser Summit and they headed back. They soon left the atmosphere and entered the docking bay of the Perser Summit and engaged the docking clamps, holding the ships in place. As he was powering down the engines Atrick25 thought, "Only one test left, then a real squad." He shuddered at the thought of actually flying one of these ships everyday and opened the cockpit to the docking bay, and his friends smiling faces.
Finally done! -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Atrick25
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 36
Total Posts: 380
Joined: May 2006
Status: Offline
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 3, 2006
10:39:07 PM
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Shazam, I took my Aviator's exam and I emailed it to you so check your inbox! -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Atrick25
ComNet Novice
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 38
Total Posts: 380
Joined: May 2006
Status: Offline
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 4, 2006
3:05:46 PM
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Did I graduate this week? Or do I have to wait? I'm so worried 
P.S. I also PM'd the test to you, if e-mail doesn't work
-----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how!
[This message has been edited by
Atrick25
(edited June 4, 2006
3:42:40 PM)]
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Atrick25
ComNet Novice
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 4, 2006
9:57:41 PM
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Sweet! I'm in Kaph (when I graduate  ) -----------------------
How do I determine my ID line?
Me=n00b so PM me how! |
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Lt. Commander
[VE-VEEC] Chief Reporter
Post Number: 2405
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Joined: Jun 2003
Status: Offline
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RE: Atrick25's Bio
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June 4, 2006
11:09:36 PM
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Sorry to burst your bubble buddy- your with us Welcome to Nazgul Squadron. You can find our website at freewebs.com/nazgulsq
Welcome to Active Duty. -----------------------
*Flash Was Here...*
CMDR/LtC Shazam/Nazgul 1-1/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=*MA*=) (=*FOCE*=) [LoM] [LSM] [VC:S] [DSM]
Commander of Nazgul Squadron, Phoenix Wing and Training |
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