Bear
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
8:10:46 AM
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I've decided to become a stand up comedian! I just stand up and people start laughing, so I'm already quite good at it..
Anyway, my jokes are rubbish. So I need some from you guys. Anything you've heard in a stand-up comedy show or something is fine.. anything at all! I'll pay you 5k for each joke. 
Email [email protected] if they're naughty 
P.S. I don't want Knock-Knock or "There was an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman" jokes..
I want things like "You know who could play Thelma from Scooby Doo in Scooby-Doo: The movie?!? Elton John!" -----------------------
TO/LCM Bear/Raptor 1-2/VE/VEN/(=A=) (=SA=) (=MA=) (=FOCE=) (=JCPA=) (=SCPA=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]
Lieutenant Commander Bear
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Darkhawk
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
9:59:58 AM
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/me throws an old, squishy, rotten tomato at Bear and nails him right in the face.  -----------------------
FL/WO2 Darkhawk/Aegis 2-1 (Aegis 5)/Wing1/mSSD Atrus/VEN/VE/(=A=)(=SA=)(=JCPA=)[BRC]
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad." |
Rukh
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
11:15:05 AM
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/me hits Bear repeatedly with rotten fruit
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FM/LCRW Rukh/Aegis 3-2/1/mSSD Atrus/VE/VE/[=A=][=SA=] Dillon "Rukh" Lazar
Aegis Squadron Flight Three Member Two, Astral Guard Member, Lusthawk Ten
TRN/UNI Rukh/Deathscythe/VE/VEDJ Dillon "Phoenix" Lazar |
sk8guy
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
12:46:05 AM
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/me throws stones, after having run out of rotten fruit
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[ARMY] Cloud
FM/PO2 sk8guy/Aegis 2-2/Aegis 6/ Aegis RO/mSSDArtus/VEN/VE(=A=)(=SA=)(=JCPA=)
"Unleash the power of the Dragon, mwahahahaha!!"
Gold Recruitment Award |
Rukh
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
1:03:36 PM
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/me throws a kitchen sink at Bear -----------------------
FM/LCRW Rukh/Aegis 3-2/1/mSSD Atrus/VE/VE/[=A=][=SA=] Dillon "Rukh" Lazar
Aegis Squadron Flight Three Member Two, Astral Guard Member, Lusthawk Ten
TRN/UNI Rukh/Deathscythe/VE/VEDJ Dillon "Phoenix" Lazar |
Piett
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
2:24:13 PM
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/me throws Jedi with his activated lightstaff at bear! -----------------------
Officer Candidate Piett
Squadron Commander
Viper Squadron
Navy of the Vast Empire
EFM/ESN Piett/Viper1-1/m-SDD Atrus/ /VE[=A=][BRC][SRC][GRC]
"Join us, or die!"--Darth Vader ESB |
Fallen
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
2:37:26 PM
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/me throws a toilet bowl right deep from the barracks at Bear  -----------------------
[Navy - Fallen] FM/WO2 Fallen/Aegis 3-3/1/mSSD Atrus/1ESF/VE/VEN/(=A=)(=MA=)
[Army - Raxen] ETRP/CPL Raxen/1SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE
'Long Live the Vast Empire. And my TIE Bomber.'
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Bear
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
3:40:28 PM
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/me tries to think of some way to make this into comedy..
Thanks a lot guys -----------------------
TO/LCM Bear/Raptor 1-2/VE/VEN/(=A=) (=SA=) (=MA=) (=FOCE=) (=JCPA=) (=SCPA=) [BRC] [BRC] [NDM] [LSM]
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LoneWolf
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RE: Stand up comedy
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December 9, 2001
4:13:46 PM
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[This message has been edited by
LoneWolf
(edited December 9, 2001
4:15:05 PM)]
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Red5
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RE: Stand up comedy
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January 2, 2002
10:01:33 AM
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You know, its a lot easier just to write a bunch of crap down, and people think its funny. As long as it makes no sense, yet makes some sense, and is funny, people will laugh.
As for the jokes, here are some: (pretty bad, but you asked for it!)
You know, Walt Disney isn't really dead. They just froze him so he wouldn't die of cancer. Actually, they only froze his cranium. He thought he was getting a head, but. . .
So a minister, a lawyer, a priest, a bishop, a CEO and a human rights activist all walk into a bar. Bar tender says, "What is this, a joke?"
This termite walks into a bar. He sits down and says, "Hey, is the bar tender here?"
A sandwich walks into a bar , asks for a drink. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
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[LCRW]/[LCR][Red5]/[Nazgul]-[1]/[Wing 1]/[None]/[1VENF]/VEN [=A=] (medals)
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JMac
ComNet Veteran
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RE: Stand up comedy
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January 6, 2002
8:47:34 PM
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:ugh
It's a start.
font class='small'>-----------------------
[army] Fishman
FM/LCRW JMac/Aegis 3-4/Aegis 12/(=A=)
"I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be unfair in my favor?."
"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
Tall, dark, handsome, and all around stud.
[This message has been edited by
JMac
(edited January 6, 2002
8:49:11 PM)]
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D-13
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RE: Stand up comedy
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January 11, 2002
4:34:03 PM
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/me throws his shoe at Red5. Boo! Boo! -----------------------
TRP/1PFC D-13/3SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Lorn IV/VEA |
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