Communications Network
Vast Empire  -  New Posts  -  Search  -  Statistics  -  Login 
 
ComNet > Stormtrooper Corps > Archived Army Main ComNet > Bio of Daminga
 
 
 
Author
Topic:  Bio of Daminga
daminga
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  2
Total Posts:  242
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  Bio of Daminga
February 16, 2006 11:19:18 PM    View the profile of daminga 
Native Language: Human
Hair Color: Jet Black
Eye Color: Grey
Skin Color: Tan
Height: 6'2
Weight: 165 lbs
Age: 18
Full Name: Daminga Gurfta
Physical Build: Athletic, Runner-like
Homeworld: Namytan
Other Features:Tattoo on back and thighs/shines - Namytan cross (very similar to Trinity cross on back), Namytan symbol for speed and courage (on legs)


Talents/Skills: Hand-to-hand combat, Scouting/messege running, Camouflage


Background:  On my home planet I knew nothing of war.  In the first 18 years of my live, life was peaceful and I was taught the ways of my family's class: hunter. I was taught by my father and the other hunters of our village how to stalk prey and how to use Mother Forest herself to counsel my movements. As I grew into early adulthood (12 years-old), the elders sent me as a runner between the many surrounding villages. It was during one of these missions to the village of Hiifties that I met the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen.  Her name was Jilsicas. She had long, silver hair and lime-green eyes and was so beautiful that she could stop men in their tracks, which many did, though she was only 14, too young to marry. I was unable to stop myself from doing the same but when she looked up at me, she eyes flashed brightly. I found out later that I was the only one that this had happened to. As I continued to travel between villages with messages, I continued seeing Jilsicas and a relationship developed.  Life was very good to me for a time...until 6 years later.  One day I was dispatched to Hiifties.  The message was to confirm a report that a different type of "animals" were on the planet. What I found instead of the village will haunt me to the end of my days. The village of Hiifties was completely burned down, nothing was left. I just stood there at the top of the hill over looking the village, staring. Then I saw them, walking through the wreckage, the "animals". These creatures were different than anything I had ever seen. They had dark red skin with white eyes. They had long sticks that they held weird and they rode atop even more different, loud creatures. I sensed that these were creatures that I did not want to be seen by. I ran to the woods and hide within Mother Forest's safety. As they passed I counted them, they numbered 8 in all. I didn't understand this, how could 8 strange "animals" destroy a whole village of more than 250 Namyton hunters.  When they past, I circled through the forest to the edge of the village. There I stopped and looked, listened. The bodies of the dead villagers were littered everywhere. I scanned the faces hoping that Father Sky would not allow such a thing to happen to one so beautiful. Yet as I hoped this, I glimpsed something shimmering in Brother Sun's light. That was all I needed to know what her fate was. When I returned to the my village to report my findings I found that there were more strange beings there. These were more similar to us. The only differences I could find were that they all had a white, shell-like skin attached to themselves and that they all looked the same. After I gave my report to the elders, they told me to escort these "warriors" to the site of the village.  I slowed when we reached the hill in front of the village and told them where I last saw the creatures. I watched as they fanned out and headed down hill, 36 in all. I wondered how only 36 "men" would be able to take on 8 of those creatures that a whole village of 250 couldn't handle. As I thought this I heard a sudden loud bang and many more smaller pops fill the air and shake the ground. I looked up and over the hill and watched as the last of the creatures was slain by the white-claded men. That was when I knew that I should learn more about them. After the battle and the return trip back to my village, I ask the elders if I may speak with one of the "white-skinned men" as the villagers were calling them. They granted me this and I soon was learning many things about them and the Empire that they fought for, they even taught me hand-to-hand combat which I seem to be a natural at. These men left our village and our world but many more came to take their place. I soon learned that I could join their ranks and become a soldier of the Empire army. This I did with great hast. I didn't do it for the glory that many seek or the money that many more want. I enlisted because I still dream of that wind swept silver hair, the falsh of thse lime-green eyes and hope that somewhere out in the galaxy that the same disaster doesn't happen again.  If it does, I will be there.
daminga
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  3
Total Posts:  242
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 17, 2006 10:49:02 PM    View the profile of daminga 
it is really that bad that nobody's going to look at it.
Marka
ComNet Initiate
 
Marka
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  198
Total Posts:  414
Joined:  Oct 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 18, 2006 1:55:39 AM    View the profile of Marka 
Actually, I really like the story. It was a tad difficult to read because there were no paragraphs. I am not really in any position to ask this of you, but if you could re-write it with paragraphs, more people would read it.

The only other thing is that you need to get the context right for some of the words, and some spelling.

"I ran to the woods and hide within Mother Forest's safety."

Should be

"I ran to the woods and hid within Mother Forest's safety."

These aren't anything major, simple mistakes, but knowing them and changing them can make a large difference. There are a couple more that you should be able to find. Apart from these, it was good, and the story was very interesting.
 
-----------------------
Private First Class Marka
Fire Team Leader
- Raider Squad -
FTL/PFC Marka/3SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE
[LoR][ES2C]

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together"
daminga
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  5
Total Posts:  242
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 18, 2006 10:18:13 PM    View the profile of daminga 
thanks man, i made another newer one, check it out
Yoder
ComNet Novice
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  42
Total Posts:  486
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 18, 2006 10:25:02 PM    View the profile of Yoder 
Welcome to the empire trooper hope to see you under fire one day

Intresting Marka is right just some minor mistakes here and there then the paragraphs need to be there well people will read your bio. I had many more mistakes than you had when writing my bio.Other people will tell you this,but use spellcheck it helps to write then copy/paste it rather than write it here.For some reason most people here like to critisize peoples writings.*not saying to anyone in particular*  Kudos to you.
 
-----------------------
Yoder
trp/pvt
Marka
ComNet Initiate
 
Marka
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  199
Total Posts:  414
Joined:  Oct 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 19, 2006 12:18:58 AM    View the profile of Marka 
You know, I think Daminga had less mistakes than you just did. We criticise because we care; because it is the only way to improve the writing of others... as long as it is constructive.
 
-----------------------
Private First Class Marka
Fire Team Leader
- Raider Squad -
FTL/PFC Marka/3SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE
[LoR][ES2C]

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together"
Yoder
ComNet Novice
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  48
Total Posts:  486
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 19, 2006 12:41:25 AM    View the profile of Yoder 
I know and he made a new topic answer there if you didn't see it
 
-----------------------
Yoder
trp/pvt
Marka
ComNet Cadet
 
Marka
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  200
Total Posts:  414
Joined:  Oct 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 19, 2006 2:39:10 AM    View the profile of Marka 
And yet you posted in here after he said he had made a new one as well... think about it.
 
-----------------------
Private First Class Marka
Fire Team Leader
- Raider Squad -
FTL/PFC Marka/3SQD/1PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE
[LoR][ES2C]

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together"
Yoder
ComNet Novice
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  52
Total Posts:  486
Joined:  Feb 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: Bio of Daminga
February 19, 2006 9:47:16 AM    View the profile of Yoder 
lets stop typeing any messages AFTER mine,ok. So angel wont say were spamming a !@%!load.
 
-----------------------
Yoder
trp/pvt
ComNet > Stormtrooper Corps > Archived Army Main ComNet > Bio of Daminga  |  New Posts    
 

All times are CST. The time now is 12:01:17 AM
Comnet Jump:

Current Online Members - 0  |  Guests - 243  |  Bots - 2
 
< Contact Us - The Vast Empire >
 
Powered by ComNet Version 7.2
Copyright © 1998-2025 The Imperial Network
 
This page was generated in 1.616 seconds.