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Author
Topic:  my bio
Katrina
ComNet n00b
 
Katrina
 
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Joined:  Jan 2006
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  my bio
January 29, 2006 9:30:48 PM    View the profile of Katrina 
eye color: green
hair color: blonde
age: 16
phisycal features: tattoo of a dolphin on lower back, scar on left ankle
personality: out-going, ready to do anything, and short tempered
history:
Growing up on a small planet Katrina was able to explore anywhere she wanted to, this brought on a great curiosity for everything. At age nine her father died and her mother no longer wanted her, so she was sent off to tattoine(sp?) and there she worked for shelter and food doing countless things.Unfortunantly her mother found some use for her and decided to sell her to some slave owners in tattoine where she spent a long while working for her owners and being treated horribly.Her owners died and she was sent free. At the age of 15 she was able to earn enough money for a ride to naboo where she found a place to stay and a job as a sells person. She worked hard but never felt that this was the life for her she wanted something more active with more adventure in it. One night as she was walking home from work she saw a flyer for storm troopers corps, curious about what it was about she picked it up and read it through a few times, she then decided to go sign up.

i hope it isnt to short i tried to make it long but it appears i have writers block...sorry
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Major General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  4427
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Joined:  Sep 2000
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  RE: my bio
January 29, 2006 9:47:06 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Ok, couple things.

1) Run this through Microsoft Word or an equivalent program with grammar/spellchecker. Watch the punctuation - I spotted many areas that lacked/needed periods, commas, etc.

2) Do a little research before you start writing. If you don't know the name of a famous planet, research it on the starwars site or google it before you write your post. Having (sp?) in your final draft doesn't look good.

3) Everyone has writers block, but don't post while you do. Wait it out. I'd rather wait a while for a good post than wait very little for a post that could have been written with better quality.


The story is good - try revising it with my tips.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/MG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/Drill Squad/Tadath/VEA/VE
[OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE
[VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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Katrina
ComNet n00b
 
Katrina
 
[VE-ARMY] Private
 
Post Number:  3
Total Posts:  3
Joined:  Jan 2006
Status:  Offline
  RE: my bio
February 2, 2006 9:08:05 PM    View the profile of Katrina 
ok thanks will do
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