Actually, Jack, Thrawn hasn't risen to his full power yet, so we're still somewhat in the Thrawn Trilogy if you want to go by the books. That is 10 years after the Battle of Yavin. He would be 22.
Really watch the grammar and syntax. You need to use upper-case and lower-case in the right places. Pronouns always begin with upper-case letters. Write your long posts in Word for spellchecking, grammar, etc.
Also, while I do like the creativity of the story, it seems a bit far-fetched. The Empire would not have had accepted an individual who had been against them for so long just because he "liked their big machines". They probably would have killed you on the spot or sent you to a nice life-long brig where the interrogation/torture droids could extract information from you.
Try rewriting the bio with a different background story. Think about this one for a bit - be creative, be original.
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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