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Author
Topic:  My bio.
c.j.r2
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  2
Total Posts:  6
Joined:  Jul 2005
Status:  Offline
  My bio.
July 17, 2005 1:59:28 AM    View the profile of c.j.r2 
A new better bio is above the page!!
[This message has been edited by c.j.r2 (edited July 19, 2005 7:11:48 AM)]
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Disciple
 
Jack Nebulax
 
[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
 
Post Number:  2262
Total Posts:  3245
Joined:  Aug 2004
Status:  Offline
  RE: My bio.
July 17, 2005 5:14:24 AM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
Okay, capitalization is number one, and second of all, there is no way you could have become Darth Vader's right-hand man. And if I'm correct, if you were born 12 years before the Battle of Yavin, you would be a little younger than 30. We're in the Thrawn Era.
 
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Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

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Senior Chief Petty Officer and Reporter Jack Nebulax (*Formerly and No-Longer a ComNet Spammer*), Imperial Navy and VE Today Staff, Vast Empire.
XO/FL/SCPO Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 5 (2-1)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:S]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
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Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  3573
Total Posts:  7772
Joined:  Sep 2000
Status:  Offline
  RE: My bio.
July 17, 2005 1:22:44 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Actually, Jack, Thrawn hasn't risen to his full power yet, so we're still somewhat in the Thrawn Trilogy if you want to go by the books. That is 10 years after the Battle of Yavin. He would be 22.

Really watch the grammar and syntax. You need to use upper-case and lower-case in the right places. Pronouns always begin with upper-case letters. Write your long posts in Word for spellchecking, grammar, etc.

Also, while I do like the creativity of the story, it seems a bit far-fetched. The Empire would not have had accepted an individual who had been against them for so long just because he "liked their big machines". They probably would have killed you on the spot or sent you to a nice life-long brig where the interrogation/torture droids could extract information from you.

Try rewriting the bio with a different background story. Think about this one for a bit - be creative, be original.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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