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Author
Topic:  Drill
Gavyn Kanu
ComNet n00b
 
Gavyn Kanu
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  6
Total Posts:  228
Joined:  Jul 2005
Status:  Offline
  Drill
July 8, 2005 9:20:27 AM    View the profile of Gavyn Kanu 
Uhm, ok, here is my bio

Name: Gavyn Kanu
Age: 23
Hair Color: Shoulder lenght brown
Eye Color: Aqua blue
Physical features: A long scar across his right shoulder, and going daignoly down his arm.

      Gavyn Kanu was born on the green planet of Yavin 4. As a child Gavyn would run through the jungle, and climb trees. At the age of 11 Gavyns father began teaching him hand to hand combat. For the next 10 years Gavyn trained endlessly, working himself until he couldn't
move anymore, and slept where he dropped. Then at the age of 21 Gavyn set off deep into the jungle, for 2 years, to survive by himself.
      There, he met a hermit, dressed all in rags. Gavyn learned much from this hermit, most importantly about what was called the "Force." Gavyn didn't understand much of what he was tought, but he remembered. Eventually Gavyn could faintly sence the forse around him. Then it came time for him to return home.
      Gavyn reached his home village and found it burned to the ground. Where there was once a lush green vally, was now a black charred mess. Without looking back, Gavyn headed toward the neighboring village to find that they had suffered the same fate. Gavyn made his way to the underground emergeny hangar shared by the two towns. The ships were luckily fueled, and untouched.
      Leaving his home planet behind, Gavyn reached Coruscant, and there, he heard that the Imperial Army was looking for recruits, and that the pay was good. Gavyn sold his ship, and took a transport to the Imperial Base.

 I guess his personality is funloving, but serious when needed to be. Likes to joke around and just get along with people.
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"A painless lesson, is one without any meaning. One who does not sacrifice anything, cannot achieive anything."
[This message has been edited by Gavyn Kanu (edited July 8, 2005 9:22:45 AM)]
Alez
ComNet n00b
 
Alez
 
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Post Number:  21
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  RE: Drill
July 8, 2005 10:26:28 AM    View the profile of Alez 
okay i know what happened the last time, but im just trying to help.

erm from what i know(which is limited) there are no more force sensitives around and stuff... so i dunno. i like your originality though. its nice.
 
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TRP/PFC Alez/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/1RGT/Tadath/VEA/VE [LoR]
Jack Nebulax
ComNet Disciple
 
Jack Nebulax
 
[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer
[VE-VEEC] Reporter
 
Post Number:  2120
Total Posts:  3245
Joined:  Aug 2004
Status:  Offline
  RE: Drill
July 8, 2005 11:31:25 AM    View the profile of Jack Nebulax 
It's good and all (minus that Force-sensitive part, of course), I don't want to sound like I have Cosmic's job, but how did you end up on Yavin 4? A crash? Because I have not heard of any settlements on that moon.
 
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Revenge is what holds this galaxy together. Without it, the universe would be a boring place.

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Senior Chief Petty Officer and Reporter Jack Nebulax, Imperial Navy and VE Today Staff, Vast Empire.
XO/FL/SCPO Jack Nebulax/Nazgul 5 (2-1)/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/Defensive Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=) (=*SA*=) [SV] [VC:S]
Rep|Int/Rep Jack Nebulax/Rep: 4/Reporters-Interviewers/VE/VET
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Admiral Jack Nebulax, third-in-command of the Auroran Defense Fleet (ADF) and leader of Nemesis Wing (Wing I)
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  3503
Total Posts:  7772
Joined:  Sep 2000
Status:  Offline
  RE: Drill
July 8, 2005 12:19:23 AM    View the profile of Cosmic 
I like the story, but you do need to edit a few things.

1) As said above, there are no more Jedi in the galaxy. There's no doubt going to be Force-sensitive beings, but not ones trained in using their abilities. The Jedi have been pretty much extinct after the Jedi Purge.

2) Coruscant is currently under New Republic control - you won't find any Imperials there.

Make these amendments and repost - the story is good, but now I'd like to see a little more of his personality (what's he like, basically).
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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Gavyn Kanu
ComNet n00b
 
Gavyn Kanu
 
[VE-ARMY] Private First Class
 
Post Number:  8
Total Posts:  228
Joined:  Jul 2005
Status:  Offline
  RE: Drill
July 8, 2005 3:47:13 PM    View the profile of Gavyn Kanu 
Name: Gavyn Kanu
Age: 23
Height: 5'9''
Weight:185
Hair Color: Shoulder lenght brown
Eye Color: Aqua blue
Physical features: A long scar across his right shoulder, and going daignoly down his arm.Slightly muscular, but certianly not "Buff"

      Gavyn Kanu was born on the green planet of Yavin 4. As a child Gavyn would run through the jungle, and climb trees. At the age of 11 Gavyns father began teaching him hand to hand combat. For the next 10 years Gavyn trained endlessly, working himself until he couldn't
move anymore, and slept where he dropped. Then at the age of 21 Gavyn set off deep into the jungle, for 2 years, to survive by himself.
      There, he met a hermit, dressed all in rags. Gavyn learned much from this hermit, mainly the hermit taught him basic martial arts, which Gavyn excelled at, due to prior combat training. Eventually Gavyn could defeat the hermit himself. The two years passed and it was time for Gavyn to return home.
      Gavyn reached his home village and found it burned to the ground. Where there was once a lush green vally, was now a black charred mess. Without looking back, Gavyn headed toward the neighboring village to find that they had suffered the same fate. Gavyn made his way to the underground emergeny hangar shared by the two towns. The ships were luckily fueled, and untouched.
      Leaving his home planet behind, Gavyn reached a small planet on the near Yavin 4, and there, he heard news that the Imperial Army was looking for recruits, and that the pay was good. Gavyn sold his ship, and took a transport full of other recruits to the Imperial Base.

I guess his personality is funloving, but serious when needed to be. Likes to joke around and just get along with people. He is usually calm and level headed, but when he gets angry...its not nice.

 
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"A painless lesson, is one without any meaning. One who does not sacrifice anything, cannot achieive anything."
Cosmic
ComNet Marshal
 
Cosmic
 
[VE-ARMY] Brigadier General
[VE-DJO] Krath Prophet(ess)
[VE-VEEC] Chief Editor
 
Post Number:  3507
Total Posts:  7772
Joined:  Sep 2000
Status:  Offline
  RE: Drill
July 8, 2005 3:49:31 PM    View the profile of Cosmic 
Very well done. Good job on the fixes. I'll place you in Iron Horse.
 
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
CoT/BG Cosmic/HCA-3/SL/3SQD/2PLT/1COMP/1BAT/Tadath/VEA/VE [OPE][OTH][OPA][EW1][CDS][IH][GS][LM][SoS][CRoM][CoH][PoC][MSM][SCP][SoA][IOC]
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Cleric "Cosmic" Vor'soth
SL/KPR Cosmic/Lion 1-1/Lopen/VEDJ/VE [VP][WoS2][KC1][SoY][EoP][OAK]
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