OOC: basicaly i got bored so i wrote a couple paragraphs of something, then decided to post it here and see if anyone could help me better it /OOC


Snipes was hardly impressed. The bar that surrounded him contained only a few patrons, all of whom wore the same down trodden, bored and surrended expression. It was so truly disheartning that Snipes didnt feel he could even get drunk in a place like this, it would be too depressing. Sighing, Snipes stepped down from the stool and retreated to a corner with his bottle of rum. From whence he surveyed the place more carefully.

The bar and its only waitress had seen better days. There was no flirting with the barmaid, there were few young people and even they wore the same expression as their elders. There was none of the festiveness, the celebrations of merely being alive on that day, with those people, in that place that Snipes so valued in a bar. Snipes pulled the cork out of his bottle and took a long drink, looking around the bottle at the patrons, Snipes watched them. Maybe they were his equals, he did not know. He cared even less. they all seemed to be hewn from the same mold, although time had acted diffrently on each. An old man sitting in a corner near the door stared across his table at the wall cought Snipes eye and he was left wondering about the lonely mans thoughts, his family, or if he had any at all. Would he go back tonight to a wife? kids? Or we he go back to an empty house, maybe the house had once held kids and so it had been built large and strong, but now the old man had outlived all his children and so he would ascend the stairs each night, with little but a glow lamp to light his way, the stairs playing havoc on his aged and decrepped bones, he would go to bed with little ado, and in the morning he would wake to a pale sun, washing in through his windows as it rose; then he too would rise and begin his daily tasks, feed the animals, get the tractor running again, fix the fences, keep the live stock in, then as the the sun set he would return to this bar and his seat across from the wall where once he may have entertained his wife, but now he was left alone with the wall. and the cycle would repeat itself, over and over, each day a mear medocracy, no pangs of pain nor jabs of esspecial joy, all things had become habit, excitement and a taste for adventure had left, if it had ever been at all.

Snipes found the entire place depressing and so he paid for his drink and he left, out into the night, as speeders whizzed by Snipes found one he liked and hopped in, after a game with the underdash wires Snipes was off into the night, maybe to find another depressing haunt of the over used, the outlived, or maybe to find his festive bar, filled with gaity and laughter, and the pure celebration of thier continued existance.
 
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TRP/SSG Sniping101/4SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/VEA/VE [LoR][IH][BoA]