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ComNet > Stormtrooper Corps > Archived Specialty Storynet > Velius Scouting
 
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Topic:  Velius Scouting
V55
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V55
 
[VE-ARMY] Private Second Class
 
Post Number:  53
Total Posts:  117
Joined:  Apr 2012
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  Velius Scouting
May 17, 2012 3:31:00 PM    View the profile of V55 
 Velius was a mix of many emotions and thoughts as the shuttle
carrying him and four other new recruits touched down onto the landing
pad of a small facility in the middle of a vast jungle. Velius and the
other four recruits were all here for one thing, to train in being a
scout. Velius was fairly convinced that he was going to do fairly as
he and his father had done some exercises to improve this skill back
home but now, it was a real test. The doors of the shuttle opened and
the recruits filled out and stood in a line in front of the large
steel door of the small facility. Velius felt ridicules standing
there, as he always did when he had to stand at attention. He found it
useless and demoralizing, but that was just him. Why do they make
us do this anyway? It’s not like we are not going to listen to the
directions.
IT was then that Velius realized how stupid he
sounded. There are people who don't follow directions very well and
get distracted easily.
Velius was in so involved in his own
thinking that he did not notice a tall stocked man slowly walking down
the row of quiet recruits. When he came to Velius, his face twisted
and he cleared his throat. Velius, suddenly aware of the mans
presence, Velius quickly readjusted his posture and looked straight in
the mans eyes. Looking back into his very own was a set of dark eyes
which Velius knew meant trouble for him.

"Do you have something better that you could be doing solider?" The
man asked, letting it be clear that he was annoyed in his tone.

"No, Sir!" Velius replied as he tried to keep eye contact with the man.

"That's what I thought." the man replied as he turned around and
proceeded back down the line. "And that’s what I expect from all of
you maggots! I expect you to follow directions, to hear directions,
and to be fully aware of what's going on at all times. Lets say you
didn't follow the directions on a mission with your squad, ay, and you
ended up getting yourself killed because you didn't follow directions.
What would you do next time?" The man raised an eye brow at the line
of recruits. "Do you want to know what you would do next time? Well
that’s easy, NOTHING AT ALL!" The man went quiet as he turned his back
to the recruits, Velius could feel his heart rate begin to slowly
decrease. A bead of sweat raced down his for-head as the man began to
speak again. "You would be doing anything because you'd be dead." The
turned around and faced the small group of recruits. "Well now that we
are done with that, shall I introduce myself. I am Sergeant Evens,
your trainer for the duration of time that you will be at this
facility. While you are here, you will learn two key things, the
importance of stealth and the importance’s of a good field report, any
questions?" The group grew from silent to dead silent, Sergeant Evens
began to walk down the line of recruits again. As he passed Velius, he
swore he could see the sun glint off metal on the Sergeants for-head.
Velius was quick to decide that this was probably just a metal plate
from an injury as a solider and to not let himself get distracted.

When the Sergeant reached the end of the line, he began to walk back
to the doors of the small facility. “Your barracks is over to the left
of the facility." Evens called as he walked, "There are bags with your
names on them on the beds in there. These contain your instructions
for your first assignment. Meet back here in half an hour and bring
you stuff. Your assignments begin when we brake." Evens turned as he
opened the doors to the facility. "AND DON'T BE LATE! DISMISSED!"

Velius found his bag on the bed in the furthest corner of the room.
Inside was a heavy olive green jump suit, a rations pack, a small note
book and pen, a com-link, and his orders slip. Velius quickly changed
into his jump suit and attached the combat knife and com-link to his
belt. Then he sat down on his bed and began to read the sheet of paper
containing his orders.


================================================================================
Scouting Exercise One- The Enemy Base    *This
document is for solider V55's eyes only!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


    Instructions: Your instructions for this
mission are quiet simple. You and your squad have been ordered to
infiltrate an enemy base to the northeast of this facility. The only
problem is that you must get in quietly and unseen, the objective is
to not kill anyone and get into the base silently. Your job as a scout
is to find the enemy base, find a way in, and to try to figure out the
guards watch patterns. You will be going at this mission alone but
contact with the other recruits may be necessary via com-link for
further instructions see Sergeant Evens.
___________________________________________________


    Gear: Your gear for this mission is the
gear listed below.
*Note- The combat knife is only for emergencies involving such things
as fending off wild animals, cutting plants...ect. In now way should
the knife be used on the guards at the base.

>One, sage jump suit, size M
>One, combat knife
>One, report book and pen
>One, com-link
>One, one week ration pack
___________________________________________________

    Requirements:  > Report must be short but
must also have all the following: way into base, guards schedule, and
a rough map of the outside of the base.
                                                       > You must not
be seen by any guards as you scout the base.
                                                       > You must not
confront the guards i any way, shape, or form.
                                                       > You must
return in one day with your complete report.
                                                       > You must not
pair with another recruit. Info can be shared via com-link but you are
forbidden to pair up.



        Sighed-  Krik Greu Evens
================================================================================

Velius frowned as he looked at the combat knife at his side. Well
this stinks, we won't get to kill anything.
Velius smiled to
himself, I sound foolish. A loud beep followed by an even
louder voice shot through the speakers in the barracks.

"OK YOU LAZY MAGGOTS, REPORT TO THE PAD ASAP FOR MISSION BRIEFING
AND..." Evens trailed off. The sound of papers rustling could be heard
over the speaker. “FOR MISSION BRIEFING AND THE START OF YOUR MISSION,
NOW GET TO THE PAD RECRUITS!” The speaker clicked off and the five
recruits quickly gathered all the things and walked single file out of
the small barracks.

It took Evens a few minutes to meet the recruits on the pad and when
he emerged he was carrying a manila folder and five pairs of
binoculars. Evens walked down the line of recruits yet another time,
this time handing each recruit a pair of binoculars. When he was done,
Evens stood back and opened the manila folder.

“Now recruits, there aren’t many other directions I have to tell you
that you haven’t already read from your briefing sheets. I will say
that each one of you will be doing a different mission, be it scouting
a base, to tracking an enemy,” Velius recalled his sheet having all of
those things one his sheet. “All you will return to me at the end of
one day one the field with your reports. Those are all the directions
I have been told to tell you so there is only one thing left to do,
tell you to start your missions. So, without further a due…” Sergeant
Evens gave a small smile and took a deep breath. “Now you can start
your missions dismissed.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Velius turned to the northeast and began to jog into the thick woods
that surrounded the small facility. Velius could see the other four
recruits running in there own separate directions into the woods and
wondered where they were heading. Velius jumped over a few small trees
and stopped running. He was about 200 feet into the woods now and he
decided to take it easy. [/i]I should start to try and find some
evidence of the enemies in these parts. Velius stopped and looked
around. The woods looked like woods, empty, with little to know sighs
of life aside from the trees.
While I’m here, I should begin to
map where I am going. Velius reached into the small bag at his
side and pulled out the journal and pen. With very few details and
just a small line or two, Velius had begun his map. As he walked
through the woods, he continued to follow this pattern. Every once and
a while, he would stop, look for signs of life and add a little more
to his map. This continued for about 2 hours until one of his normal
stops that he noticed a small path into a dried out riverbed off to
Velius left. As he walked over, he noticed foot prints in the dry
dirt. With a little more investigation, Velius could see that these
were new and he decided to follow the path and see if it led to the
enemy base. Making sure to stay out of sight of the path but still
able to see what was going on. After stalking through the woods for a
good 20 minutes, Velius came to a small canyon. A smile crept across
his face as he look with in the canyon for inside was a complex of
buildings. Two guards stood alone at the entrance of the canyon, starring into nothing. Velius made note of this and the time of day it was.
I think I'll make a quick run around the base then come back here and record the rest of the guards activity.[i] Velius put his small bag in a collection of rocks next to where he was laying. Then he proceeded to carefully make his way around the base, trying to find a good place you could sneak in. When Velius can to the top of the canyons he could see that the canyon was open on the other side too, which would make it very hard to seek in the front or the back. After making his way all the way around the complex, Velius decided that coming in off the canyon wall onto a large building close to the bank was a good idea. After noting this Velius prepared himself for the long task of keeping track of the guards shifts at the gate in front of him. By midnight, Velius had recorded a total of 7 guard switches with a delay between the 4th and 5th change. Velius assumed it was because of the guards who were to take the post were just waking up. Velius noted this a potential time to enter the camp, be it canyon wall or through the main entrance. At one AM a call came through on the con-link that one of the recruits had finished his report and slowly, one by one, the others called saying they had finished. After compiling all of his notes and finalizing his map, Velius finally called his in and began to head back to the facility. The hike was long and tiring but Velius made it back. All the other recruits had already made it back and out there reports in a small drop box next to the facilities door. After Velius himself did this, he retired to his bed where he sleep soundly till the breakfast call the next morning.
All war is deception

ETRP/PSC Velius/V55/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/Tadath/VEA/VE

-A very lonely shadow-
[This message has been edited by V55 (edited May 17, 2012 3:33:59 PM)]
Garryll Gates
ComNet Marshal
 
Garryll Gates
 
[VE-ARMY] Captain
[VE-DJO] Dark Jedi Knight
[VE-ICS] Privateer Captain
 
Post Number:  1912
Total Posts:  2159
Joined:  Sep 2007
Status:  Offline
  RE: Velius Scouting
May 17, 2012 4:48:19 PM    View the profile of Garryll Gates 
OOC:
Velius was fairly convinced that he was going to do fairly as
he and his father had done some exercises to improve this skill back
home but now, it was a real test.


The use of the word 'fairly' here doesn't really fit; 'well' is more appropriate.

OOC:
The doors of the shuttle opened and
the recruits filled out and stood in a line in front of the large
steel door of the small facility.  Velius felt ridicules standing
there, as he always did when he had to stand at attention. He found it


'Filed' not 'filled.' 'Ridiculous,' not 'ridicules.'

OOC:
IT was then that Velius realized how stupid he
sounded. There are people who don't follow directions very well and
get distracted easily. Velius was in so involved in his own
thinking that he did not notice a tall stocked man slowly walking down
the row of quiet recruits. When he came to Velius, his face twisted
and he cleared his throat. Velius, suddenly aware of the mans
presence, Velius quickly readjusted his posture and looked straight in
the mans eyes. Looking back into his very own was a set of dark eyes
which Velius knew meant trouble for him.


You want to be aware of the use of apostrophes to mark possession (man's). 'tall stocked' should either be 'tall and sturdy' or 'stocky.' Stocky means stout, thick-set, but not usually tall. A type with 'IT.'

Last thing in this passage; a whole lot of 'Velius this,' 'Velius that.' Mix it up, or the story gets monotonous.

For the rest of the post, you do have numerous errors in grammar, spelling, wording and punctuation. Make sure to read a post after you write it to try and catch some of these errors, as they can distract a reader from fully enjoying a post.

You did an acceptable job on the scouting of the enemy base (guard rotations and the like). However, I'd like to see more 'meat' to the story in the path-finding and an analysis of the environment.

This spec is marked Needs Serious Edits. Please fix your errors and improve on what I suggested. If necessary, also get a beta reader. When you finish, repost the specialty and put a post in the 'Specialties that need to be graded' thread.

Company Commander of Phoenix Company |Tactical Officer of the Army | Adept of the Dark Jedi Order | Captain of the
Bloodfist in the Osk Company
TO/CPTGarryll Gates/3SQD/1PLT/1COM/1BAT/1RGT/Tadath/VEA/VE [SCP][RoM][ICE] [IH] [CCA] [BC] [SRP] [AS-4] [ES1] [CoS] [EW1] {RESx3} [ESC09] [RoTx2] [CRoS] [AoT] [CoZ][CoDS][VT][CRoM][KAD][RCA][*QW 12*](3.1)(1.1)

SM/DJK Gates/Eagle Sect/Lopen/VEDJ/VE (KC1)
Longtime leader of Blackjack Squad
For Tadath, for the Empire.

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