Since I went awal I will start all over again and attempt to furfil my dream into entering the DJO!

Physical Appearance
Homeworld: Yavin IV/Coruscant
Age: 19
Species: Human
Native Language:Basic
Gender: Male
Skin Color: White
Height: 5"7
Weight: 121
Hair Color: Light Brown
Facial Hair: Clean Shaved
Eye Color: Blue/green
Scars: On my right eye
Tattoos: None

Personal History
Power-County was born on Coruscant, but his family had gotten in with the wrong crowd when he was a new born so they went and hid on Yavin IV building a house. By the time he turned 13, they thought it was time to leave, they moved back to Coruscant, Power-County, had gotten into lots of fights. Within the first month at the age of 17, his father signed him up for flight lessons, he was the top of his class when he left the school one day, a lower city gang tried to mug him at the time one of them had a knife which cut his right eye on a angle which is now a scar to remember.

Soon after it was his birthday and his father bought him a small blaster pistol. He had always saved up his credits since he came back to Couresant so he got on a ship and left to the outer rim in search of the Empire.

Physical Description
Well built in muscle, Slim, kind of a shady appearence with his bangs covering his eyes. He stands tall with a good posture, He usually has his bangs winged off to the left. The scar on his face tends to frighten people.

Personality
Power-County is a nice person when you get to know him. When it gets into the mission he is more of a lone wolf, until one of his comrades are in danger then he will attempt to save them. "those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum" is  Power-County's fighting will he will never leave a comrade behind even if it risks his life in the doing so. He is calm before the fight.

Also try to be more specific about his scarred eye. Also, the main language of the SW universe is Basic, not English (Yes, it's English for the sake of the movies. They call it Basic, though.).

One point in regard to maintaining canon: Yavin IV doesn't have an indigenous human population at this time in SW history. You'll either need to explain just how it's his homeworld in the personal history or you'll need to change it.

-Drac

Hunter-Morrell wrote:3. Your spelling and grammatical errors. Frankly, you need to shape up. I see a few run-ons that need to be corrected. I'm going to leave it up to you to figure out what they are. Try to split up some sentences or at least use commas to set off the different parts of the sentence.

You still need to work on your spelling and grammar usage. Try using Wookieepedia if you don't know how to spell a Star Wars word. Also, try using [url]dictionary.com[/url] if you don't know how to spell a general word. Using Microsoft Word can help with some of the grammatical problems, try that