Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
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Reporting For Duty
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February 8, 2010
2:34:17 PM
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Thane Reporting for duty sir!
[This message has been edited by
Undertaker
(edited February 8, 2010
2:47:40 PM)]
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Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 2
Total Posts: 133
Joined: Feb 2010
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 8, 2010
4:52:23 PM
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Well from what I've seen from the rest of the post in the VENA, I need to do this.
= Physical Appearance =
Homeworld: Iridonia
Age: 30
Species: Zabrak
Native Language: Basic, Mandalorian, Shyriiwook, among others.
Gender: Male
Skin Color: Black
Height:6'3
Weight:225 lbs
Hair Color: none
Facial Hair:none
Eye Color: Brown
Scars: none
Tattoos: several Tribal tattoos cover his face
== Physical Description ==
Thane Rios, is a tall, very muscular man, he works and trains himself constantly, in both body and mind. Over the years he has had several implants which inhance his strength, and intellegence, along with his eye-sight.
== Character’s Background ==
As a child Thane was trained as an assassin who speciallized stealth mastery, and hand to hand techniques. Later on in his life he started adding new skills to further his assassination abilities. Thane learned how to become a master of disguise, impersonating many people, which allowed him to get to his targets easier. Thane is also a expert sniper as well as an expert pilot, he uses several evasive techniques to avoid fighters as well as capital ships.
He has been on many missions some against rebels, others against the Empire. After nearly 15 years of being on several worlds in different systems, killing off his targets quickly and quietly. He decided to join the VE after a group of drunk rebel soldiers killed his brother in a bar room brawl.
== Personality ==
Thane has a dark personality, he is very quite, but doesn't mind crowds, to him crowds allow him to disguise himself better. He has a good sense of humor but does not show it, he doesn't mind conversation, it just depends on the topic. Thane also regrets some of his contracts he has fullfilled in the past, and keeps those who he has killed in his memory, so that one day he might atone for what he has done. The only people he has no remorse for are rebels. Deadman walking
[This message has been edited by
Undertaker
(edited February 8, 2010
4:53:19 PM)]
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Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 1st Class
[VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1488
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 8, 2010
5:22:54 PM
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Uh . . . yeah. Sorry. I'd like you to add a bit more in the Physical Description section and could you redo the Character Background section? The whole assassin thing is . . . highly unlikely. You need to make it believable. Don't put two short paragraphs about how you are awesome and expect people to take it hook, line, and sinker. Add some substance to it. Don't get me wrong, two paragraphs are fine, you just need to have more substance to it. |
Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 9, 2010
9:43:07 AM
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I'll do that, but how is the assassin part unlikely Deadman walking
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StOrMz
ComNet Marshal
Imperial Baronet
[VE-NAVY] 1st Lieutenant
[VE-VEEC] Ink Slinger
Post Number: 1121
Total Posts: 2218
Joined: Oct 2004
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 9, 2010
12:17:14 AM
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Actually, the assassin part could be a likely upbringing, given the correct circumstances. For example, the Noghri were trained in all the ways listed by Undertaker, minus flying. However, one could be trained as a pilot as well.
Really, an assassin is just another name for a bounty hunter.
Also, your personality/background edits look much better. You have passed Chapter I, please report to Raptor Squadron (in the Navy Main Channel) for your next assignment. Naval AcademyNTO/1LT Stormz/NP Saratoga /TF:TH/3Flt/NAD/VEN/VE
[NSM][IG][SWC][SRC][BI](=A=)(=^SA^=)(=ME=)(=*MAE*=)(=FOCE=)   Imperial Baronet of Kashyyyk |
Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 1st Class
[VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1489
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Joined: Jun 2008
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 9, 2010
4:24:54 PM
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When I read assassin, in my mind I thought of like Altair in Assassin's Creed and was like, "No way" ;p
And I was kind of irritable yesterday, hence the harshness. No offense intended |
Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 4
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 10, 2010
9:30:35 AM
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None taken sir, I shall report to Raptor right away. Deadman walking
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Shazam
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Commodore
[VE-VEEC] Journalist
Post Number: 3866
Total Posts: 4197
Joined: Jun 2003
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 13, 2010
1:37:06 PM
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Ata' boy! Welcome to the Navy, btw; sorry for the late greeting, I was ill-disposed: minor incident involving a Twi'lek, an astromech unit and twelve galons of "flax," a highly corrosive substance used to clean droids, but apparently easilly mistaken with body lotion. She's ganna be okay. Welcome to the Navy! *Flash Was Here...*
NXO/COM Shazam/Phoenix 1-2/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=MA=) (=*FOCE*=) [CBV*] [LoM] [LSM] [MC2] [VC:S] [SV*] [DSM] [KC] {Platinum Writing Medal}
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Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Warrant Officer 1st Class
[VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1501
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 14, 2010
9:21:47 PM
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Dang man. That happened to you too?  |
Shazam
ComNet Marshal
[VE-NAVY] Commodore
[VE-VEEC] Journalist
Post Number: 3867
Total Posts: 4197
Joined: Jun 2003
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 15, 2010
9:37:37 AM
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Like I said... She'll be fine.
*Flash Was Here...*
NXO/COM Shazam/Phoenix 1-2/Phoenix Wing/mSSD Atrus/1VENF/VEN (=A=) (=*SA*=) (=MA=) (=*FOCE*=) [CBV*] [LoM] [LSM] [MC2] [VC:S] [SV*] [DSM] [KC] {Platinum Writing Medal}
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Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 11
Total Posts: 133
Joined: Feb 2010
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 15, 2010
9:51:42 AM
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lol, thanks happy to be here. TRN/CRW Undertaker/? flight/S:137 "Raptor"/W:1 Phoenix/mSSD Atrus/TF:A/1Flt/SFC/VEN/VE
Deadman walking
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Atrasin
ComNet Member
[VE-NAVY] Lt. Commander
Post Number: 948
Total Posts: 1957
Joined: Jan 2008
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 15, 2010
10:25:45 AM
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/me sings
....oooOOOooooo, I wanna FLAX you up..... WC|CO|LCM Geordi "Driver" Atrasin/CVT Taskmaster/A-1/W:1"Phoenix"/mSSD Atrus/TF:A/1Flt /SFC/VEN/VE[=A=][=^SA^=][=^ME^=][=*MA*=][=FOCE=][MC1]{BWC}[NSR:1]{SAS}{SWC} Vacuus Ordo, Nex -Without Order, Death All a man can betray is his conscience. - Joseph ConradWe few, we happy few. We band of brothers. - Henry V May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. - General George S. Patton Jr.  |
Undertaker
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 12
Total Posts: 133
Joined: Feb 2010
Status: Offline
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RE: Reporting For Duty
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February 15, 2010
10:37:37 AM
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Barry White starts playing in the back ground TRN/CRW Undertaker/? flight/S:137 "Raptor"/W:1 Phoenix/mSSD Atrus/TF:A/1Flt/SFC/VEN/VE
Deadman walking
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