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Topic:  Zerohito[Combat Engineer]
Zerohito
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  Zerohito[Combat Engineer]
January 13, 2010 8:08:19 PM    View the profile of Zerohito 
OOC:

Zero Hitotomi
Combat Engineer
Level 1: Electrical Systems
Story 1:Basic Electronics/Wiring



"Basics, basics, basics." Zero mumbled. It was morning and he had training to do. Electricity was the name of the game and Zero was alright with it. While he could been used for more of scouting it really didn't matter much to him. He was doing something in a field he was partly qualified to be in. Zero only had basic knowledge of electricity and how it worked but he also knew his way around the gear.

The morning air was thick outside but it really didn't do much to discourage Zero from learning. He had made his way outside the barracks and towards the area where he was supposed to meet the master engineer.

The building that Zero approached was about moderate sized and nothing out of the ordinary. As he entered the building there were 2 other troopers there already. They seemed to have a nervous and Zero couldn't blame them for he was nervous too but he wasn't shaking in his boots or anything like that.

"You guys seem nervous" Zero said towards one of the stormtroopers.

"Yeah kind of, This is my field but I think I'll learn more from this guy" Alex Torkurk said.

"Well I've worked with explosives before so I guess this is the right way for me" Yovin Clandestine said.

"Well you could say I'm partly qualified for this" Zero said.

"Yeah I can understand..Hey here he comes" Alex said.

The Master Sergeant who was also the Master Engineer had walked into the building with books in his hands and without even saying a word handed the books to the three troopers.

"Today you'll learning the basics of Engineering and these books along with my words will be your guidance, and before you ask you can call me Sergeant Kovak" Kovak said.

Zero nodded and looked at the book. It was a big textbook that had to do with engineering. If this along with the words of his teacher was all he needed then things wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be. But since this was just introductory phase Zero thought less of it.

"Today we will be doing some repairs, This will show me how much you can do already but I suggest you use the book that I have given you" Kovak said.

"Sergeant Kovak sir, What shall we be repairing?" Alex asked.

"Well instead of doing something simple like data-pads, You'll be repairing some old T3 droids." Kovak said.

"Droids sir? Don't you think that would be difficult since this is basic practice?" Zero asked.

"If you have what it takes then you'll be able to repair it Private" Kovak said.

Zero nodded and it seemed that Sergeant Kovak had a grin on his face. It didn't look like an evil grin but a grin that showed confidence. Zero had confidence in himself and he knew that Kovak had confidence in everyone else.

Sergeant Kovak signaled for the droids to be rolled on in and they all looked old and battered. One had a bad burn mark and the others just looked like they had a simple malfunction.

"Just remembered if the droid blows up you fail" Kovak said.

"Isn't that common sense?" Yovin asked.

"Yes failure is common now get to work" Kovak said.

Zero had one of the T-3 droids that looked like they had a basic malfunction. He opened up an access panel and hooked his data-pad into it. Due to the fact that the droid was old, no diagnostics check could be run until an active power source could be re-initiated. Zero sighed and disconnected the data-pad and found pre-schematics that were provided to him. It seemed that all circuits in the droid were fried and the active power source was disconnected. Whatever happened to this droid is unknown but it seems that it was damaged during a raid by rebels.

"First things first take out the junk" Zero mumbled to himself.

He began to remove all the burned and charred wires and circuits. They were most defiantly old. Maybe 20 or so years but that really didn't matter much to Zero. Now he had an empty droid with no power source. So first he had to give it a power source and he found the tools he needed on the desk he had in front of him. The power source looked odd to Zero but it didn't matter and he inserted it. Now it was time for circuits and wires.

Taking a fusion cutter and a mask off the desk Zero began to weld in both the circuits. They were already programmed so Zero didn't have to mess with that. Then Zero began to connect the wires. He noted that the red wire should go in last seeing as it would be where most of the electricity would flow from. Now that everything was one big circuit, it was time to run the diagnostics check. He re-hooked the data-pad into the droid and it showed that everything was all clear.

"Sarge I've finished repairing the droid." Zero stated.

"Well isn't that nice that you passed but the other two have already finished, You had the most battered droid so i knew it would take you some time" Kovak said.

"Wow that's amazing I guess but I thought I heard an explosion" Zero said.

"Oh you were too much in your own little world to actually notice anything around you, Private Yovin here had his droid malfunction again" Kovak said sighing.

"So is class dismissed?" Alex asked.

"Yes the both of you pass, Go home and get some rest, Trust me you'll need it so you might want to take that book with you too" Kovak said.

"No need for me, I have it all on my data-pad already" Zero said.

He walked out of the building heading back towards his barracks. When he looked at the sky it seemed it was in the afternoon. Zero realized that he was repairing that droid for hours.
Decembrist
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Decembrist
 
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  RE: Zerohito[Combat Engineer]
January 24, 2010 12:45:18 AM    View the profile of Decembrist 
Private First Class Zerohito,

I, Tactical Department Assistant, WildCard Platoon Adjustant, Senior Sergeant Decembrist, hereby bestow upon you the rank of Combat Engineer Specialist Level 1.1. You have attained this by successfully completing your stories on Basic Electronics/Wiring. Congratulations, you may move on to Combat Engineering 1.2, Electrical Systems.

Some notes on your completion (because there's always room to improve as a writer):

Use proper quotation grammar.
The most common form of using quotations in our writing here is dialogue. Think about how a person would actually say what you're writing and use punctuation where appropriate. Quotations, if not the end of a sentence, should always have a comma before the quotation ends.

OOC:
"Basics, basics, basics." Zero mumbled.

The period inside the quotation should be a comma.

OOC:
"You guys seem nervous" Zero said towards one of the stormtroopers.

Missing comma at end of quotation.


OOC:
"Today you'll learning the basics of Engineering and these books along with my words will be your guidance, and before you ask you can call me Sergeant Kovak" Kovak said.

Use punctuation when appropriate. "... And these books, along with my words, will be..." is an acceptable sentence. Also, missing comma at end of quotation.

Choose proper wording.
Read over aloud what you've written. If it doesn't sound or look right, chances are you've done somethin wrong.
OOC:

While he could been used for more of scouting it really didn't matter much to him.

"While he could of been used..."

OOC:
They seemed to have a nervous and Zero couldn't blame them for he was nervous too but he wasn't shaking in his boots or anything like that.

Change "have a" to "be."

OOC:
They were most defiantly old.

Defiantly->Definitely.

Adhere to the rules of writing!
There are rules in writing that don't necessarily apply to speech. Spell out numbers that are said in two words or less, use proper capitalization, watch your tense, and stay away from mundane repetition.

OOC:
As he entered the building there were 2 other troopers there already.

Spell out numbers that aren't more than two words. For instance, you would not spell out 1,323. You would spell out "one thousand."

OOC:
"Yeah kind of, This is my field but I think I'll learn more from this guy" Alex Torkurk said.

"This" should not be capitalized. Proper nouns and the start of sentences are the only capitalizations.

OOC:
Zero said, Alex said, Yovin said, Zero said, Alex said.

This is boring. Describe how they are speaking, what they are doing as they are speaking, or else don't use the same thing after every quote!

OOC:
"Just remembered if the droid blows up you fail" Kovak said.

"Remembered" is past tense. It doesn't fit with the rest of the sentence.

For the first level of any specialization, the grading is very lenient. On higher levels you will not be passed with this writing. On a good note: you covered the material you were supposed to cover. This earns you the next level. Continue to do this, and for the msot part you will be fine.

Jeg will be covering your stories usually, I have stepped in for him at his request. Good luck with the rest of your specialties.

Dec's Diggity-Down Stamp of Approval'd!
Imperial Network Star Wars Image
Tactical Staff
Wildcard Platoon Adjutant
Sergeant Vasili "Decembrist" Rustam

Acolyte of the Dark Jedi Order

Turk
I may not be that perfect son, but y'all'll be rockin' when I'm done.
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