ZalaVE
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 7
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Reporting In
|
|
July 31, 2009
7:59:13 PM
|
|
Hi I am Crewman ZalaVE Below is my Character bio. Also that topic can be found the following URL below. http://www.vastempire.com/wiki/index.php?title=User:ZalaVE
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
Species: Human Gender: Male Height: 3 Weight: 120 Age: 20 Place of birth: Coruscant Marital: status: Single Social status: Very Socable Phobias: and allergies: N/A Rank: Crewman
Chapter 1 Crewman Zala's Biography
Born on Coruscant to parents Patrick and Lenore Zala Athrun Was a smart and intelligent Human boy who saw a bright future in himself.. At age 19 he graduated High School on Coruscant and was now a man so he decided to go to university. Upon graduating with a degree in Military History at the age of 23 he decided to join the Navy. Athrun Zala is presantly training at the Academy at the rank of crewman and intends to be an outstanding Imperial Citizen in the near future. End of Chapter 1
During his early childhood years Zala was a quiet person and he was bullied alot. beside be made fun of he was very smart and he could draw pictures as good as some of the worlds famous painters.
When he became a teen he started hanging out with the girls and getting to know them very well. After a while of hanging out with them he finally got himself a girlfriend. By the time he graduated high school he was engaged and later after graduating he was married and his wife pregnant with their first child.
[This message has been edited by
ZalaVE
(edited July 31, 2009
8:09:29 PM)]
|
Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Veteran

[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer [VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1035
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
July 31, 2009
8:17:12 PM
|
|
I just gotta let you know that there is such a thing as a reply button that keeps you from posting multiple topics when all you need to do is hit the reply button. Its at the upper right hand part of the post. Other than that, I have to say bravo. Its a pass so move onto Chapter Two. Also, I have to congratulate you on the wiki work, but if you want me to set you up a full wiki page, just let me know.
Vast Empire Imperial NavySenior Chief Petty Officer Hunter MorrellXO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1] 
[This message has been edited by
Hunter-Morrell
(edited July 31, 2009
8:18:46 PM)]
|
ZalaVE
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 8
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post
|
|
July 31, 2009
11:55:32 PM
|
|
Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post
Crewman ZalaVE was in a dogfight his squadron wingmen and himself were engaged in combat in the Hoth system. An Elite Rebel Forces Squadron had been fighting to defend some strange looking planet. They were using X-WING fighters while Zala and his squadron were using TIE Intercepters their task was to destroy them until they were dust. But the battle was extreamly intense pilots were getting shot down left right and center and soon the battlefield became chaotic. Zala's squadron wingmen and himself had called for back up many time but there was no answer. By the time help actually came The Squadron that Zala was in was being torn apart by enemy fire by the time help had arrived it was almost a defeat for the Empire. But when reinforcements had finally arrived the morale of all Imperial pilots in that particuler battle's morale had sky rocketed because of the news of reinforcements arriving. By the end of the space battle the Rebel scum were loosing very badly and their morale had been broken. Later on during that god forsaken day the Rebel Alliance had lost that battle and the Empire had won it fair and square. Later after the horrific dogfight Cewman ZalaVE and his fellow comrads were partying on an Imperial Star Destroyer then the Emperor came onboard and congratulated them on what a fine job they had done. But the breaker of bad news was they had been given a new tasking order and they were not to happy about it at all.
[This message has been edited by
ZalaVE
(edited August 1, 2009
12:18:16 AM)]
[This message has been edited by
ZalaVE
(edited August 1, 2009
10:13:31 AM)]
[This message has been edited by
ZalaVE
(edited August 1, 2009
10:24:28 AM)]
|
ZalaVE
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 9
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Mock Activity Report and ID Line Construction
|
|
August 1, 2009
12:25:30 AM
|
|
ZalaVE Report: July 31st, 2009
Activity: This week I posted six or seven times on the ComNet about my character bio and slight fiction writing. I have not completed any exams. Upcoming plans: Next week I will post as many time as possible on the ComNet. Also I intend to complete exams like crazy and be very active. Questions/Suggestions:Where do you write and omplete your exams.
Crewman ZalaVE Trainee ID Line TRN/CRW Zala/VEN
[This message has been edited by
ZalaVE
(edited August 1, 2009
10:09:38 AM)]
|
Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Veteran

[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer [VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1036
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
August 1, 2009
10:11:08 AM
|
|
Sorry, but I cannot accept your Chapter 2 assignment due to it being 50 words under the predetermined word count. Also, it is in first person, which uses words like I, when it should be in third person, which uses words like he, she, it. If you need examples of third person writing, just take a look at any story post you can find. To make things worse, you mentioned Star Wars historical figures and places such as Luke Skywalker and Rogue Squadron. All of our writing here is original and we forbid any mention, unless specifically stated that you can, of any of the Star Wars universe characters and locations other than what we use here. So no Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, Hoth, Dagobah, Bespin or any others. Sorry for bursting your bubble. However, your Chapter 3 assignment I can accept because it is good. Other than the ID Line, its fine. Check here for information on how to update your ID Line.
Vast Empire Imperial NavySenior Chief Petty Officer Hunter MorrellXO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1] 
|
ZalaVE
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 10
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post redone
|
|
August 1, 2009
10:40:24 AM
|
|
Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post
Crewman ZalaVE was in a dogfight his squadron wingmen and himself were engaged in combat in the Hoth system. An Elite Rebel Forces Squadron had been fighting to defend some strange looking planet. They were using X-WING fighters while Zala and his squadron were using TIE Intercepters their task was to destroy them until they were dust. But the battle was extreamly intense pilots were getting shot down left right and center and soon the battlefield became chaotic. Zala's squadron wingmen and himself had called for back up many time but there was no answer. By the time help actually came The Squadron that Zala was in was being torn apart by enemy fire by the time help had arrived it was almost a defeat for the Empire. But when reinforcements had finally arrived the morale of all Imperial pilots in that particuler battle's morale had sky rocketed because of the news of reinforcements arriving. By the end of the space battle the Rebel scum were loosing very badly and their morale had been broken. Later on during that god forsaken day the Rebel Alliance had lost that battle and the Empire had won it fair and square. Later after the horrific dogfight Cewman ZalaVE and his fellow comrads were partying on an Imperial Star Destroyer then the Emperor came onboard and congratulated them on what a fine job they had done. But the breaker of bad news was they had been given a new tasking order and they were not to happy about it at all.
|
Drac
ComNet Cadet

[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class
Post Number: 260
Total Posts: 2191
Joined: Jan 2009
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
August 1, 2009
11:04:24 AM
|
|
Hello, Crewman Zala. I'm an Operator here at the Academy.
Your new version is better, but you still need to remove the Emperor from it. Hunter may/may not have some other suggestions for you as well.
-Drac
|
ZalaVE
ComNet n00b
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 11
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post redone agai
|
|
August 1, 2009
11:10:24 AM
|
|
Assignment Title: Chapter 2 - The Post
Crewman ZalaVE was in a dogfight his squadron wingmen and himself were engaged in combat in the Hoth system. An Elite Rebel Forces Squadron had been fighting to defend some strange looking planet. They were using X-WING fighters while Zala and his squadron were using TIE Intercepters their task was to destroy them until they were dust. But the battle was extreamly intense pilots were getting shot down left right and center and soon the battlefield became chaotic. Zala's squadron wingmen and himself had called for back up many time but there was no answer. By the time help actually came The Squadron that Zala was in was being torn apart by enemy fire by the time help had arrived it was almost a defeat for the Empire. But when reinforcements had finally arrived the morale of all Imperial pilots in that particuler battle's morale had sky rocketed because of the news of reinforcements arriving. By the end of the space battle the Rebel scum were loosing very badly and their morale had been broken. Later on during that god forsaken day the Rebel Alliance had lost that battle and the Empire had won it fair and square. Later after the horrific dogfight Cewman ZalaVE and his fellow comrads were partying on an Imperial Star Destroyer then a high ranking officercame onboard and congratulated them on what a fine job they had done. But the breaker of bad news was they had been given a new tasking order and they were not to happy about it at all.
|
Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Veteran

[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer [VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1037
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
August 1, 2009
11:15:48 AM
|
|
I'm going to let you deal with this one Drac. I'm at wits end over this one.
Vast Empire Imperial NavySenior Chief Petty Officer Hunter MorrellXO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1] 
|
ZalaVE
ComNet n00b

[VE-NAVY] Crewman
Post Number: 16
Total Posts: 40
Joined: Jul 2009
Status: Offline
|

Assignment 2 - The Post 4.0
|
|
August 1, 2009
9:37:43 PM
|
|
Assignment 2 - The Post 4.0
It was a nice day on for Cewman Zala to go on a sortie with a wingmate of his they were hoping to see some action while doing it to. Upon encountering a nebula of lovely stars the two of them had been spotted by an unknown enemy warship which began fireing at them they imediately started dodging all of the laser cannon shots comming at them. An enemy fighter was coming at them at a very high speed Crewman Zala then aimed his laser cannons at the enemy fighter and destroyed it with only two shots. While he and his wingmate were enjoying the little glorious victory another few enemy fighters came swarming at them they both then aimed their laser cannons at the two incoming enemy fighters and blasted them into nothing. The dogfight had been going for about an hour when most of the enemy fighter squadron had been destroyed by Crewman Zala and his wingmate. Again the same thing happened the two last enemy fighters came swarming at them once more but sadly one of the enemy fighters had managed to shoot dow Crewman Zala's rookie wingmate Zala had become enraged and had gone bezerk in using his ace pilot skills and managed to shoot down the last two enemy fighters. After the dogfight was over Crewman Zala then turned his little starfighter around and went back to base.
Crewman ZalaVE Trainee ID Line TRN/CRW Zala/VEN
|
Hunter-Morrell
ComNet Veteran

[VE-NAVY] Senior Chief Petty Officer [VE-VEEC] Word Slinger
Post Number: 1041
Total Posts: 2071
Joined: Jun 2008
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
August 1, 2009
9:42:39 PM
|
|
Passed. Take the AE and PM it to StOrMz
Vast Empire Imperial NavySenior Chief Petty Officer Hunter MorrellXO/SCPO Hunter-Morrell/Nazgul 5/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1Flt/VEN/VE [CBV][BRC][BWC][MC:1] 
|
StOrMz
ComNet Marshal Imperial Baronet

[VE-NAVY] 2nd Lieutenant [VE-VEEC] Ink Slinger
Post Number: 899
Total Posts: 2218
Joined: Oct 2004
Status: Offline
|

RE: Reporting In
|
|
August 2, 2009
11:22:14 PM
|
|
Good job on your AE Zala, you have been placed in Sting Squadron for the time being.
Congrats!
|