Training. Missions. Tests. Studying. It was all growing to be much more than Corporal Jaenna Caldwin thought it was going to be. After graduating from the academy she thought that things were going to be easy, especially after getting out of the academy so early. She had been the perfect student: she did what she was told, she knew what she needed to do and did it with great efficiency. She didn’t even need to take the exit exam due to how the Commander of Training at the time didn’t think she needed to. Jaenna had gotten through the beginning easily.
Maybe a little too easily.
Since she graduated early, she didn’t have time to join in with the rest of the Training Squad for the Simulation Mission on Tadath. Thus… she didn’t have that first taste of combat, that is until she was thrust into her first mission. Because of her lack of practice on the field before being thrown into the missions with RAIDERS, she was sacred and anxious… And easily agitated.
It just so happened that the day the Squad got ready to leave for Dendros, Dante, a fellow trooper at the time pushed one of the most easily pushed buttons she has, resulting in a brawl between the two troopers. It would have turned out really bad if not for the SL at the time, Helena, stepping in and pointing a pistol at each of their heads.
So… all in all, things started out pretty rough for Jaenna after her easy slide through the academy.
And now… It was all starting to get a little rougher for the nineteen year old Imperial Stormtrooper.
- - - -
The little blinking light that flashed on her Desk Com, signaled that she had a new holomessage. A soft grumble came to the lips of Jaenna Reed Caldwin as she ran a hand through her auburn hued hair, those light sea-foam green eyes staring at the blinking light on the Desk Com with obvious annoyance. The girl was dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a tight tank top, her feet bare and sliding along the soft carpet of the Luxury Condo that she had bought some time ago on Tadath.
Why had she bought it on Tadath? So that she was close to the training of the new troops. Not only that, but she loved the mountain and the other ranges of different terrain that littered Tadath, also known as Nodriss B. But whatever the case was, Jae was happy to finally have some time away from the barracks. She finally had some time to rest.
But now, that rest was being disturbed by some damn message that kept alerting her to it’s existence on the Desk Com that sat on her rather organized desk in a corner of her living room like area.
Walking out of her room, that annoyed look still plastered to her face, Jae made her way to the desk, eyes half shut. It wasn’t only obvious that she was annoyed, but it was also obvious that she had just been woken up from her nap by the periodic beeping that the holomessage kept sending out.
“Alright. Alright. I’m coming… Not like I can actually talk to you anymore anyways.” Jaenna grumbled as she finally made it to the nicely cushioned chair that sat in front of the desk. She sat down in this oh-so-comfortable chair and ran her fingers across the keyboard, inputting her password and bringing up the main screen of her com. A few more clicks here and there and a message made itself even more known in her inbox.
“Bah…” Another grumble and she forced herself to click ‘open’ so she could see whoever it was that tried to contact her.
A ghostly blue image showed up on the small holoprojector pad that Jae had connected to her Com. The image was a little fuzzy and only about six inches high. But itw as quite obvious who it was.
The image of Havock smiled and waved, despite how it was just a voicemail of sorts. “Hey there, girl. I just wanted to see how you were doing…” Her voice seemed to hold worry in it, this caused Jae’s lips to fall into a soft frown. She hated worrying her friend. “I hope that your little vacation is helping you out. We all had a hard time on Kalee. I’m even taking a vacation, I’m heading back to my home to see Jed. Just… Rest up okay, hun? We all need it.” Havock’s fuzzy image looked at the ground for a moment, then back up, appearing to look straight through Jae. “And I know you need the rest.” The image clicked off after Havock’s image waved one last time and smiled feebly.
Jae sighed and leaned back in her chair, placing both hands over her face and inhaling deeply, only to let the captured air flow out of her lungs a few seconds later. She kept her hands there and just thought. Jae had scared Havock on Kalee… she knew it.
Jae never wanted anyone to see what an overload of anxiety and fear could do to her… but RAIDERS had witnessed it. At least two of the troopers did. Karash and Havock. Jae wasn’t as worried about Karash having seen her rage attack though, for she wasn’t that close with him. Havock on the other hand…
Jae never wanted to lose that girl as a friend. But now… since it was obvious that Jae had scared that girl during her little let go of her mind, she was terrified about that happening. Havock’s fear, even if it wasn’t that much, was enough to make Jae worry about losing the girl’s friendship.
“Frack.”
With a frown hanging off of the corners of her pale pink lips, Jae got up and made her way over to the couch that sat just in front of the large TV like image projector. With a soft ‘thunk’ she laid down and placed one of her arms behind her head, getting comfortable enough for another nap.
But before she went to sleep, she decided to actually do what she told herself she was going to start doing. She looked over at the clear glass coffee table next to the couch and reached out to grab the BX-333 Biorecorder from the table top. She looked it over and sighed.
“Time to start my voice journal.” She said before she clicked the ‘record’ button and held the end up to her mouth.
Quote:Well... Kalee was a total failure. For two reasons mainly: One, we didn't get what we went there for, and Two, I let my fear get to me... and it came out. Yeah... It. I'm going to call it that. For lack of a better word really. It isn't simple enough to call it an emotion. And it isn't complex enough to give it a name. It's just... It. That's the best word I can give the stupid thing.
It's barely even a thing really. It doesn't have a soul... it doesn't have a heart. It's just there. Waiting for the right moment to break through my mind and cause chaos everywhere. Well... not everywhere. Mainly to those who are close to me.
I don't even know where It came from.
But then again... When I actually sit down and think... Events from years ago might have given birth to It.
'Events'. That's great. I sound like I'm talking about some certain point in history that affected everyone. No... what happened only affected me. It affected me and the person that I was close with. How can I be so ignorant and not give those things that happened the respect hey deserve and just call them 'events'.
I'm an idiot simple as that.
But I digress.
The true birthplace of this... this... THING that rests in my mind... It's gotta be what happened years ago on Coruscant. With my parents, if you could even call them that, and with what happened to Op'ah.
Daddy Op'ah... Hm. I haven't said his name in so long. But only he is going to get that respect. Never again will I speak the names of those wretched beings that killed him, and gave me my cybernetic arm. They don't deserve it.
My parents... They deserve to rot in whatever hell they're in. Wait. They're still alive. That's right. They haven't died yet. I would have heard something about it on the holonet.
Heh. No matter.
They did this to me. They made my mind give birth to It. And so... I swear that the day I come face to face with them again... Lets just say that they will rue that day.
I'm more than I was back then. Much more. Despite my fear, despite my anger. It's actually It that's going to end up giving me the strength to take out those bastards.
I guess I can thank them for that at least.
Jaenna clicked the 'record' button again and it shut off, saving the first record of her voice journal. She tossed the Biorecorder back onto the table and sighed. She brought her hand to her face and dragged it down her face slowly, sighing softly as she did so. With another sigh she looked over towards the large window that showed the outside world of Tadath.
"Heh. I need to get out more."
The corners of her lips pulled into a soft smile and shut her sea-foam green eyes, slowly drifting off into a very light sleep.
