Snipes woke up with a hell of a hangover. Not that he usually woke up without one, but they usually weren't this bad. Oh he had plenty of energy and a headache leftover from pint after pint of cheap beer he'd been downing all night, but he was also left with some unfocused irritation he was going to have to find a way to misplace. Snipes tried to stand, then sat right back down on his bunk. He needed to find someone to share his misery with, he went over names in his head. Dante, too easy, Virius, didn't deserve it, Otto, would probably kill him; then out of habit Snipes mind went to another name, Angel. Snipes smiled, he definitely deserved it, and having just come back to the army, well, Snipes hadn't properly welcomed him back yet. Snipes smile widened wickedly.

Snipes groped around for his comm link, and when he found it he opened a channel with the Corellian Hound. “Hey, Visha, I got a job for you guys, I need you to stop by Naboo and pick something up for me.”


Jester barracks, a week later.

Angel looked around his quarters, there was little to barracks, not enough room for them to be truly interesting. Like most people with the finances, Angel kept most of his belongings in his ship, so there was little in the barracks to come to harm. He wasn't sure why he was worrying about that now, but for the last week a vague sense of foreboding had been gradually growing stronger. He couldn't be sure why, perhaps it was the absence of Snipes, Snipes had been gone for a week and when he disappeared out of the blue bad things tended to follow afterwards. Perhaps that was why he jumped when he heard someone buzz the main entrance of the barracks.

Angel left his room and wandered through the lounge, the rest of Jester squad were lounged around, napping, playing cards or arguing over this and that, the way soldiers usually passed the time between missions.

“Don't anyone get up or anything.”

Angel opened the door. In front of him stood a member of the delivery personnel.

“Senior Sergeant Angel?” The man said glancing at Angels uniform.

“Yes.”

“Official Deliveries for Jester Squad,”

Angel eyed the invoice suspiciously, but signed for it. The boxes were marked as Classified, but the invoice said they came from the armory.

As soon as the nine boxes were dropped off in the barracks lounge the Delivery Officer threw a crisp salute and then left, A little too quickly. All the Jesters attention was focused on the boxes. Angel really didn't want to be the first one to open them. He had a terrible feeling about them.

Of course it turned out he didn't need to open them. Just as Jager opened is mouth to say something the boxes exploded, not a normal fiery explosion, this one covered the entire lounge in six inches of whipped cream. Angel wiped it from his eyes in time to see what else the boxes held.

Before him were nine male gungans in quite possibly the smallest bikinis known to the galaxy.

“Welcome back Boss Angel, Mesa love you long time!”


Meanwhile.

“RAIDERS!” Snipes shouted to his assembled squad. “Today we fight to keep our honor, we fight for our pride. We fight to prove that we truly are the best at what we do! Today we commence these prank wars! Take what you can, give nothing back! We're going to prank Jester until they no longer know which way is up! Or down! We're going to prank them so hard. . .”

A loud succession of beeps followed by a click signaled the start of a new day for Jager. After several moments of silence the Radio-net began to echo around the Florian scout ship.

"That was Galactic Trio with Upright position. Its currently 5am in Sianat, and your listening to the Phantom on Radio Free Tadath. Keeping it Real on the Big T..."

Jager quickly came to the decision to sleep on his ship, outside the Stormtrooper base. He knew full well that there would be some form of reprisal after yesterdays retaliatory prank on their SL, and the way he saw it, the further he was from the Jester barracks the less likely he would be pranked.

With a heave he dragged himself up off the bed and began his morning routine. As he stood over his throne with the feint sound of water on plastisteel it became clear that something was missing, he just couldn't figure out what. It wasn't until he had finished that it hit him... his droid was missing. Now, the droid itself was fairly stupid... and the fact that it had up and gone wasn't to distressing to Jager, but it was his and might of been worth something if he had of sold it for scrap.

A quick walk around the ship didnt reveal anything, he remember back to several occasions where the droid had forgotten where the door was and just spent hours running into a wall before it knocked something loose and shut off.

"Eh, good riddance" Jager mumbled as he grabbed his wallet and blaster off the table and headed outside. The lance corporal hadn't taken one step off the loading ramp before he discovered the whereabouts of his wayward droid.

There it was, tied to one of the ships landing struts. It had what looked to be a multi-colored Afro glued to its top with a crudely drawn clown face on the front topped off with a large "RAIDERS RULE" over its body in big black lettering. He paused before he took a step towards it, something didnt seem right... if he had done this to someone, he would of at least rigged the droid with a flash grenade or something to send them shopping for new pants.

"Bah, stay there... retarded-ass droid" Jager called as he took the long way around the ship to the landing pad exit. There was no way he was gonna let this one slip by without some form of pay back...

====

Jager arrived at the main gate to Tadath base at 0930. He'd spent a few hours having breakfast and picking up supplies for his revenge. He just had one stop to make over at the armory before he was done, and he was gonna need some help from Verkur.

====

It was now 1015 and the raiders barracks was more or less deserted. Jager sat quietly across the way and watched for any signs of movement while Verk moved up around the back for a closer look.

"Seems clear," he whispered over the Comm,

"Yeah, I'm heading across now..."

====

The plan was simple... and full proof, and victimless... Jager had gone to work spray painting "JORI RULES" in large letters around the barracks while Verk had welded all the footlockers and bathroom door shut, leaving two lockers untouched.

The two stood back and admired their handy work,

"...Why 'Jori Rules'?" Verk questioned, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead,

"Its nice to give them someone to direct their hate towards... And i wasn't gonna sick them on Bright, Squall or Angel." Jager smirked,

Verk shook his head, "Your an asshole, you know that"

"Hey.. I could of wrote 'Verkur' instead."

The Corporal gave a shrug, "So... whats with the flash grenades?"

Again Jager smirked, "We rig the untouched lockers with them... so when people start trying to open lockers.. BAM!"

The two stood silently for a moment before Verk spoke up, "If they court martial us for this... I'm saying it was you"

"Hey.. if they court martial us, I'm saying it was Jori"

Verk shoved Jager slightly, "Again with the Jori thing... cut the guy a break..."

"The next time your on a mission and he doesn't tell you that his payed of the mercenaries while your dressed as one of them and sneaking around their camp... then you cut him a break" Jager retorted,

"Well... after this, your leaving him alone... Copy?"

Jager stood to attention, "SIR, YES, SIR"

"Your an ass..."

"Sue me... anyway, I owe you one for helping out here." Jager finished as he walked towards the door before Verk stopped him,

"No.. you owe me two, remember Cepany?"

"Alright, Alright. We better clear out, I'm not getting caught at the crime scene"

Verkur gave a nod and headed towards the backdoor, Jager wondered if he full understood that this was gonna escalate this little prank war and turn it into some sort of prank Apocalypse... one from which no one would be safe.

Exiting the barracks he headed towards the front gate again, now was a good time to disappear for a few days... maybe hide out at Koenigs place... maybe hide in a hotel. In any case he knew that his makeshift apartment/star ship was already compromised. Hailing a cab he wondered if he should warn the rest of Jester... but just as he went to send Angel a message he stopped and realised something. It would be much funnier if he didn't, instead he sent one to Verkur,

---Verk... Keep your mouth shut about this.
---If anyone asks you were over at Jagers ship helping him clean his droid.

---I owe you another one... Thats three,

-J.Luth-

OOC:

war.. has changed. For reference, I'am off to go hide in a bar somewhere and get drunk, celebrating my victory of sorts

Jori just happened to be walking beside Raiders’ barracks when he bumped into an obviously angry Dante, who was walking towards the door to the barracks. He started to say hey, but backed up when Dante tried to shove him.

“Whoa. What’s your problem?” Jori asked.

“Why did you trash our barracks?” Dante said, making a move to shove Jori again.

“I didn’t. This is the first time I’ve been anywhere near your barracks in a couple of days. And even if I did, why in the heck would I return to the scene of the crime. I mean that is just stupid. If I were you, I’d look for someone else in Jester to blame. My guess would be Jager. This seems like something he’d pull. Let me see the barracks.” Jori said, before turning and walking through the doors to the barracks.

When he saw the vandalism, he started laughing and couldn’t stop. Soon, he was on the floor with tears streaming out his eyes. He was knocked forward when Dante kicked him. It didn’t hurt because he had his armor on, minus the helmet. He got up, but was unable to stop laughing..

“What are you laughing for? This isn’t funny.”  Dante said.

“Yeah it is. That and the fact that you thought I’d be stupid enough to write that all over.” Jori said, wiping away the tears.

He turned and walked through the doors. Then he was struck with a sudden thought.

Oh crap. If he thought I did this, then he has already probably did something to the Jester barracks.

Jori immediately started running and reached the barracks in a short amount of time. He shot through the door and started searching around. Not finding any evidence of tampering, he walked to his locker and opened it. He began pulling everything out and all of the sudden heard a thump. Looking down, he saw a box lying on his other stuff. He picked it up and read the writing on the side.

Laxative? I’ve never even had any laxative. Why would that be in there? Oh…. crap.

Jori opened up the other lockers and found the same boxes in each one. Shaking his head angrily, he gathered all of them up, put them in a bag, and snuck over to Raiders barracks. Looking inside to check to see if anyone was there, he was glad when he didn’t see anybody. He walked in and shut the door. He looked around for a place to put the boxes. He had to find somewhere so the boxes can’t be found unless someone was actually looking for them.

Put some here, here, and here. There all the boxes are hidden. Now, whatever plan Dante had when he put the boxes in our lockers will backfire.

Laughing, he walked out and over to the Company Cafeteria to grab something to eat. Walking in, he noticed a couple Raiders were seated in the far corner. He grinned in spite of himself and grabbed a plate. Sitting down to eat, he was joined by Bright and Squall, who both had something to eat also. Before long, they finished and headed over to Jester’s barracks. Suddenly, when they entered, each one of them doubled over. Jori was hurting in his stomach, so he crawled to the bathroom and spent an hour in there. When he come out, he discovered Squall sitting on the couch rubbing his stomach.

“What happened? My stomach felt like it exploded. Bright thought it might be something in the food, so she left to find out what happened. We might need to go too.” Squall said.

But just then, Bright ran in.

“I found out what it was. Laxatives. They were found in Raiders barracks.” Bright said, breathless.

Jori grinned and starting laughing, noticing Squall and Bright’s bewildered expressions.

OOC:

There. Blame was turned onto Raiders. Now, it truly is a Prank War

Dante nibbled at his rehydrated snack, waiting for the first stomach pangs to hit him. Troopers were beginning to file into the mess hall, grabbing utensils and trays. Dante watched for Jesters, noting both Angel and Verkur. The presence of both Kand and Jori only added to his amusement. He had to repress a smile, something that became a lot easier when he noticed that most of the other Wildcards and Storm members were present.

Collateral damage. If it works though, it'll be worth it...

He had nothing against most of them, and they'd probably be somewhat piqued after their meals. Dante mentally shrugged and took another bite of the MRE, washing it down with a healthy gulp of un-spiked herbal tea. Most of the diners had settled down in loose groups, with few sitting by squad lines.

One major, and very noticeable, exception was Jester Squad. Most of them were clumped together at a lone table, their heads together and quiet whispers drifting over to Dante's nearby table. No doubt they were discussing his decoy prank and how they were going to return the favor.

Dante's still-throbbing skull began to act up at this point, and their...redecorating of the RAIDERS barracks drifted to the front of his mind. After adding the laxatives to the supplies, Dante had returned to the barracks and begun trying to remove the sprayed letters. Chisels failed miserably, and Dante eventually resorted to gouging the messages out with his vibroknucklers. The others had joined in as they arrived, and the barracks were "JORI RULES"-free by breakfast hour, but the insides looked like someone had chucked a few thermal detonators inside and then emptied a few slugthrowers into the walls.

There was a massive peal of laughter from the Jesters, and Dante almost got up before he manged to bring his emotions back under control. This was mostly made possible by the knowledge that the jokers responsible for the vandalism would be soon laughing from the other side of their mouths soon enough.

Dante's stomach gave an unpleasant unpleasant lurch, and he calmly got up from his seat. He'd intentionally chosen the seat closest to the building's refreshers, as there would probably be stampedes within minutes of the trooper's beginning to eat. Sure enough, Dante saw Wildcards and Storms alike begin to get unsteadily to their feet or collapse holding their stomachs as he himself left the room.

He practially threw himself through the refresher doorseal, and sprinted faster than he known he could into a stall. Groaning faintly as nature took its course, Dante realized that he'd probably miscalculated the dose he'd applied. Too late to worry about that now. As dozens of troopers yelled as they tried to force their way into the refreshers at the same time, Dante took some small comfort in the knowledge that the Jesters were probably little better off. He'd seen three other RAIDERS come into the mess hall, which meant that they'd won, in this prank at least.

==An hour of digestive agony later==

His face pale and empty stomach still, Dante pulled the latch and threw the door open. It bounced off the wall and came back at him as he staggered from the stall. Occasional moans and a force-awful stench emerged from the nearby refresher stations, and Dante felt bile rise in his throat as he fought back a sudden urge to gag. He stepped gingerly over a trooper who'd collapsed on the floor with his hands clasped on his belly, noting with no small satisfaction that it was a Jester. The knowledge put some spring, or at least a normal gait, in his step.

Dante's sudden glee lasted until he saw a clump of stony-troopers blocking the exit up ahead. He felt a cold lump in his stomach that had nothing to do with the powdered laxative as he saw Brightstar, Jori, and Squall at the head of the mob, and repressed the urge to swallow. Kand had spotted him and was upon him in a flash.

"Why the hell did you spike the caf food with laxatives?"

Dante quickly came up with a reply, trying to sound as surprised and shocked as possible. It wasn't very hard, not under these circumstances.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Bright here found a few dozen of these." As he spoke, Kand held up an all too familiar flimsi-plast box up in front of Dante's nose. Out of the corner of his eye, Dante noticed Jori fidgeting as though trying to repress laughter, and his eyes narrowed.

"Where?"

"In the RAIDERS barracks, and your locker."

"I've been framed...Why would I eat food I knew to be spiked?"

"I dunno, but you're going to tell us why."

"I'm innocent!" Dante protested as Kand took a half step forwards. He was about to expand when he heard a quiet giggle from  the group. Everyone in the corridor turned and stared at the source of the noise, Jori, who was suddenly acting a lot like a nerf in the headlights as he realized that he'd been heard.

"Earrp. Guys?"

They continued to stare at the Private. Dante guessed Squall's jaw had dropped a good two inches.

"Uhhh..."

As one, the group advanced on the Private. His nerve breaking, the Jester turned and fled, followed a moment later by a very angry trio of squads. Now alone once more, Dante shook his head and, after checking that he was alone, broke out into laughter. Things hadn't quite turned out the way he'd planned, but it had worked out all the same. Now to get ready for the Jesters' next attempt at revenge....

Waking up, Jori tried to scratch his head. When he found he couldn't he jumped up. He realized he was in some kind of suit and he was trapped in a cage. Then the truth came to him.

I'm in a zoo? Oh crap.

He sat down to think about how he could escape. His comm wasn't on him so he couldn't call for help. It wasn't opening time yet, so the crowds wouldn't help him much if he escaped.

Maybe I can trick one of the staff to come in here. They must know about me, so when they see me "suffocating" they'll know I'm not an animal and they'll come running in here.

Jori stood up and put his hands to his throat, as if he was suffocating. He sunk to his knees and saw one of the staff start to edge toward the cage. He fell over and thats when the guy ran to the cage and opened the door. Soon, Jori's helmet was ripped off and he saw that it was a chicken head. As the guy turned around to get a oxygen mask, Jori jumped up, ran around him, and jumped out the door. Free at last, he ran to the nearest shop and slipped inside.

Now I have to get this stupid suit off.

He looked around and spotted a sign pointing to a refresher. Running to it, he jumped inside. Once there, he proceded to rip apart the suit.



Finally, he had gotten a small rip started and after that all he had to do was rip it down the middle and he could step out of it. Doing just that, he kicked the suit over to a corner and walked out.

I wonder who did this... It would have to be someone from Raiders because since we are in a prank war. That narrows it down. They'll probably come back to laugh at me so maybe I can get them back. First I have to get some things...

When the zoo opened, Jori was the first one there. Before he walked to the cage that had held a few hours before, he looked around the zoo for certain things. Satisfied, he made his way to the cage and sat down, scanning the crowds for any familiar faces. He grinned as he spotted Snipes. Jori's grin widened as he saw the look of astonishment on his face. Jori got up and walked through the crowd towards Snipes, making sure not to be seen.

Alright. Now to put my plan in action...

Jori donned the zoo staff uniform he had "appropriated" from one of the staff. He had changed the look of his face earlier and now the disguise was complete. He walked up to Snipes, but had to control himself from laughing.

"Excuse me sir, but were you the one who dropped off the uhh... "animal" that previously occupied this cage?" Jori asked calmly as Snipes slowly nodded.

"Ok. Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the money you paid us was deemed counterfeit. You'll have to come with me to our offices to talk with my boss." Jori said.

Since Jori had done recon before hand heLeading Snipes to a rarely used office building right inside the gate.

"Just sit tight for bit while I go get my boss." Jori said as he backed out and closed the door.

Phase one complete. On to Phase two.

Jori, still in the staff uniform, walked to where the vehicles were parked. He looked around for a certain vehicle and saw it. An airspeeder that must of been used by Snipes, mainly because of the Raiders' symol on the back of it. He found it unlocked and opened it. Taking out a Glop grenade, he rigged it so that when Snipes opened it up, the Glop grenade would go off in his face and cover the airspeeder with glop.

Now, my plan is complete. I need to get back to Jester's barracks.

He took off the uniform and started walking in the direction of the barracks. Soon he reached it, walked to his room, and fell on the bed. He was soon asleep.

The audible succession of beeps from a PDA in Jager's pocket woke him from his semi-inebriated state. The light screen shone through the fabric of his Jacket pocket leaving a blue square on the lance corporals chest.

Jager removed the PDA from his jacket haphazardly and peered down at the screen,

--=Incoming Call=--
  =ID: Chuck K.=

He let out a sigh and let it beep a few more times. Chuck K, or Chuckie as his friends referred to him, was one rung lower then the 2IC of the base armory. He was a largish human with a hearty beard and a taste for the finer and illicit things in life. The two had a mutual buisness relationship, Jager would on his off days play bookie for the him in-exchange for the occasional "Off the books" firearm or a few cartons of cigarettes (The good ones, not the crappy military issued Lung blasters)

After several more beeps Jager tapped the "Accept" button.

"Ye' daft git..." were the first words out of Chuck's mouth.

"Chuckie... Whats the good word?"

"Fella's been sayin' that you went to town in the Raiders barracks"

Jager mumbled something about bastards and Verk under his breath before throwing up something in his defence,

"Uh.. no.."

"Aye.. Big strappin' Gunny came in muttering something about yourself while he picked up some cleaning products"

Jager sat in silence for a moment before he regretted thinking such terrible things about Verkur.

"Question, Who's this Jori fella?... He's names been popping up a fair bit as of late"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, this Gunny fellow came in, I asked him what was his buisness with the cleaning products and such.. he said several expletives about you and a fella named Jori. Now just a minute ago I get this flier saying something about a 50,000 credit reward for a prank on the wee-bugger."

Jager's pseudo-hangover lifted the moment 50,000 credits were mentioned...

"That's... 50,000 with four Zero's?"

"Aye... I'll send ye' a scan of the flier. Hold on a tick"

Jager sat up in his booth, anxiously awaiting the file. With a beep the file arrived on his PDA and immediately he checked it over. It was genuine... Fifty thousand credits just for pulling a prank on Jori.

"Oh, fore' i forget... Delvin, You know the MP fellow. Well, he would like a word with your friend."

"Is that so," Jager replied, still running the idea of Fifty thousand credits through his head,

"Seems his boys are having a bit of trouble tracking him down, then again they are a rather incompetent bunch at the best of times."

Jager shuddered slightly... it was like someone had just walloped him with possibly the greatest prank in the history of prankdom...

"Chuck, I gotta go. Take care" he stated hurriedly,

"Aye, you to laddy.", and with that Jager tapped the disconnect button as he jumped to his feet and made for the door. There wasnt anytime to waste, the MP's would probably pull their fingers out and find Jori and that couldn't happen. 

=======

Jager reached the base in a little under five minutes. It's amazing what a hover-cab driver can do when you slip him an extra two hundred credits.

Now, if I were Jori.. where would I hide? Jager thought, The base itself was quite expansive and there were plenty of places to hide... but then again, Jager didnt think Jori would of expected such a response from the Raiders SL.

Lets start at the barracks, he mumbled as he moved quickly in its direction. Sure enough, there he was... sleeping like a baby. Jager could taste the fifty thousand credits, well the fifty thousand credits worth of expensive cigarettes and booze that he would no doubt spend it all on.

Jager tip-toed towards the cleaning locker and grabbed a bucket, before moving over to the sleeping private. The next part of the plan would make or break it, he had to place the bucket over Jori's head without him noticing. Slowly he lifted the Privates head, who let out a few incoherent murmurs. Then he placed the bucket over his head.

Jager knew the mere sound of him breathing inside the bucket would stir him from his sleep so he acted fast. Removing his flask from his jacket pocket he took a deep breath.

"FIIRRREEEEEEE!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as he poured the flasks alcoholic contents over the sleeping Private and banging on the bucket.

Jori jumped out of bed then promptly fell to the ground, groggily trying to remove the bucket. Jager dragged him up by the shoulders, still screaming things like "get up, lets go, the base is on fire" and began to spin Jori around.

After about the twentieth spin Jager gave let him go. To his credit he removed the bucket, right before stumbling into one of the bunks steel posts. With a thud he fell flat on his back.

The effects of spin would soon fade, so Jager didn't have much time to complete his next phase. Grabbing a pair pillow case that was draped over a nearby bunk railing and tied Jori's wrists together, following that with a make-shift sock gag. Then with a heave he threw the disorientated Private over his shoulder and made for the door.

It was quite a spectacle that the lance Corporal had made as he casually strolled down one of the bases main roads towards the MP's headquarters with a clearly pissed off, slightly disorientated Private dressed only in his standard issue singlet and briefs over his shoulder.

Jager whistled a merry tune as onlookers shouted things and wolf whistled. Reaching the MP's front door he was surprised to see 1st lieutenant Devlin standing there with a half astonished, half annoyed look on his face.

"What the fuck do you think your doing Luth."

"Afternoon LT, A friend of a friend told me that you were looking for this here Private." Jager stated smugly, Placing an incredibly agitated Jori on the ground for two MP's to pick up and untie.

Devlin was torn between being his general annoyance at Jager's unprofessional antic's, and his annoyance that his men didn't first check the Jesters barracks.

One of the MP's pulled Jori's sock gag out only to regret it as he started screaming obscenities and threats towards Jager.

"Get him to the brig.. and get him washed up, I don't want him smelling like a distillery when I grill him." Devlin barked at his men who disappeared into the HQ with Jori, who was still cursing Jager with every fiber of his being.

"Its called a Prank war for a reason kid, You'll get over it in a day or two" Jager called back, smirking at the thought of the fifty thousand credits he was soon to receive.

"I dont like this..." Devlin began before Jager cut him off,

"LT, listen... he's a good kid, just, he's been at the sauce a bit to much... you know how it is, you have a few close calls... Just, go easy on him." Jager half heartedly pleaded. 

"You are aware that this isn't some backwater shit-pit... bringing in someone doesn't get you a bounty, hell I have half a mind to lock your ass up for disorderly conduct."

Jager knew he was serious, and staying in the same building as Jori for the next few days wasnt going to be good for anyone involved.

"Tell you what, I'll leave, pretend like this never happened.. and when your superiors ask you can claim you apprehended him yourself. Deal?"

Devlin turned and headed up the stairs before stopping at the door,

"You have twenty five seconds to get out of my sight or your going with him"

Jager smiled obnoxiously and bowed to the remaining MP's before he quickly moved off. Jori was going to be pissed... In fact Jori was going to reinvent the term "I'am going to fucking kill you Jager", but Jager didn't care... he was now Fifty thousand credits richer, and Jori couldn't stay mad forever... surely.

Taking his PDA out of his jacket pocket he sent a message to the number on the flier,

---Lance Corporal J. Luth here, You might wanna get your check book out and head down to the MP's headquarters. There's a pleasant surprise waiting for you, scantly clothed and waiting to be laughed at... I'll be in the bar waiting for my fifty thousand credits

--J.Luth--

OOC:

Well, pay up.. Sorry Jori, But 50,000 credits is 50,000 credits.