Your
bio outlines his history and personality decently. I would like to ask that you separate his history from personality traits. This will make it easier to read. Also, there are a number of spelling errors (i.e. Emperial= Imperial, Ackabar=Ackbar, etc.) Those are more minor since they seem to be merely typos. If you could fix both of those previously mentioned things, I will move you on to chapter two.
Imperial Navy-
Kaph Squadron (The Captains Own)SC/WO2 StOrMz/Kaph 1-1/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1 Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=)(=^SA^=) (=ME=)[IG] [BI] Reaper SquadronFM |
WO2 Stormz | Reaper 4 |
ESC Tiamut | VENI |
VEN | VE


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Engineering CorpsStOrMz/
WS StOrMz/Lotaith/
VET/VE
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Pizza ClubStOrMz/
DB StOrMz/Bicycle/
VEPC/VE
Head Delivery Boy
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[20:48] * Verkur screams
[20:48] why are you creaming?
[20:48] ewwwwwwww
[20:48] screaming*