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Topic:  New Recruit
Raiyn
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[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
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  New Recruit
July 24, 2008 2:37:18 PM    View the profile of Raiyn 
Just finished my bio on wiki, just figured I'd post here and say hello as I think that is the next step in my training?
Blue-Leader
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[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class
[VE-VEEC] Essayist
 
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  RE: New Recruit
July 24, 2008 2:52:58 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
Welcome to the academy, Raiyn.

I am Technical Operator Blue-Leader, one of the training Operators will be here to assist you shortly. Now, in the meantime it is great that you have set up your wiki, but for training purposes do you also mind pasting your biography onto this topic.

Thank you,
Blue-Leader.
[FM][Petty Officer First Class Zhar Bacredi][Viper 7][Phoenix Wing][mSSD Atrus][2nd Flight][VEN][Vast Empire]
[=A=][MC:1][=SA=]

Viper Flight Two, Viper Seven
Viper Squadron, The Third Starfighter Group
We Fly, You Die

Zhar Bacredi's Wiki
Raiyn
ComNet n00b
 
[VE-NAVY] Crewman
 
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  RE: New Recruit
July 24, 2008 5:55:34 PM    View the profile of Raiyn 
Callsign

Raiyn

Rank    

Crewman

Division    

Navy

Biographical Information

Age    

35

Species    

Human

Home Planet

Corellia

Gender    

Male

Height    

6'2"

Weight    

190 lbs

Hair Color    

Chestnut Brown

Eye Color    

Crystal Blue

Appearance

* Shoulder-length chestnut brown hair, usually very unkempt and unattractive.
* A black eye patch covers his right eye, where a scar peeks out from above the patch onto the forhead, indictating some sort of accident. His other eye is a beautiful crytal blue.
* He is a simple dresser, usually found wearing tight black T-shirts to reveal his physique, along with a pair of leather black pants or jeans - also a snug fit.
* He dons a pair of black combat boots that make loud thumps and thuds when he walks throughout a room, often making it appear that he was angry or frustrated over something.
* He is an all around muscular man, his hands are rough as his is scowl of a face. He has a light beard, more of a five o'clock shadow really; he is very unkempt and could care less about his looks.

Personality

Raiyn doesn't speak much. When he does, however, it usually isn't something very nice or heart-warming, but rather something insightful - which in Raiyn's mind is the only time one should speak. He loves to sit back when in a room of strangers or even people he might call "friends", and just watch how the conversation plays out. Every now and then he might chime in his two cents, which in turn will usually silence the conversation, and bring the focus onto him - something that gets on his nerves quite often. People usually feel as though that when Raiyn has something to say, it's something important and of value to the matter at hand, and due to that reputation that is the main reason why he really only he speaks when he is spoken to. He feels as though he needs to constantly live up to that repuation, and that any irrelvant comments would cause people to think less of him. For as much as he denies it, Raiyn cares more about what people think of him than most others do. He is a prime example of a loner, yet he cannot help but feel the anxiety to fit in with the others. Although he has a funny way of showing it, and he is damn near impossible to read, Raiyn still longs for the situations to occur where he is the man in the middle rather then the lone soldier on the outskirts of the conversation.

Being as insightful as he is, Raiyn can easily read people, judge them, and see through their masks that they wear. In a way he is a human polygraph test, in a way he is the final judgment - no man can pull a fast one over him. Perhaps it is through all the years of being the proverbial loner, listening and taking in all the BS that people spew from their mouths that has made him the way he is - ever so insightful.

He has a sense of humor, however it is very dry. The things he makes jokes about are often things that are inappropriate deeming the situation; things that only he finds funny. He has a twisted sense of humor, and he longs for the day when he will be able to find someone who shares that sense of humor with him; perhaps he would not feel so alone then, although, he would never let anyone in on this information.

History

Raiyn enlisted in the Imperial Navy for one reason and one reason only; to release years of aggression upon all those who made him the way he is now - everyone. It was also the death of his mother, Fae, that had a lot to do with his entrance into the Imperial Navy. For she was all that he to live for, his father died when he was at a young age. Although his mother was not the best role-model for Raiyn growing up as a child, she was all that he had and Raiyn loved her for that despite her occupation as a prostitute and a junkie on the side. Raiyn would often have to fight off the men she would bring back to the house for her services, and if they wouldn't leave in the morning or tried to get more than what there money was good for - Raiyn would handle them. These men, however, were often much bigger than Raiyn, and he would get tossed around quite often by them. He acquired many scars and bruises over the years because of this, however, he could never forget the day when one of his mother's "clients" decided to stab him in the eye, and nearly beat Raiyn to death. Thus being the reason why he wears an eye patch, and thus being the reason why he is the demented being that he is today.

It was, however, that after all the years of fighting for his mother and trying so hard to get her going in a better direction when she eventually was killed by one of her clients. He was a very large man, a man by the name of Victor, whom when Raiyn tried to get to leave went into a fit of rage and beat Raiyn to a bloody pulp and then ended the life of his mother right in front of his eyes.

Scarred for life by the incident, Raiyn has now enlisted himself in the Vast Imperial Navy, where he will serve and protect his planet like he failed to do for his mother. Except this time, there will be no failure.
[This message has been edited by Raiyn (edited July 26, 2008 11:00:41 AM)]
Blue-Leader
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[VE-VEEC] Essayist
 
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  RE: New Recruit
July 24, 2008 6:19:28 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
As I can see that is a wiki copy and paste, I can say nice job. But I do have a few issues:

1) Another staff member correct me if I am wrong, but "Jeans" do not exist in the star wars universe. Comment: You may have Jeans.

2) The formatting on the top part is a bit off, can you put it into the following format please:
Code: Select all
Name:
Species:
Age:
Height:
Weight:
Eye Color:
Homeworld: (Please add)

I realize you have already put it into that format, it is just spaced differently. And if you would please add a homeworld to your bio as well, that would be great. Just try to clean the bio on here up a little bit, try taking out the '[edit]s' and such.

3) This is really minor, but we are not the 'Imperial Navy', we are a splinter faction from that. We are the 'Vast Empire Navy'.

Great work on the bio so far.

Once you have done those corrections you may move onto Chapter II of flight school. There is an assignment at the bottom of the provided link.

Keep up the good work, and if you have the time using mIRC or the Java Chat link on the main page to communicate with me, or any other operator could speed up your training. If you enter IRC, please type in:
Code: Select all
/join #VENA

I will be in that channel, if I am not another Operator might be as well.
[FM][Petty Officer First Class Zhar Bacredi][Viper 7][Phoenix Wing][mSSD Atrus][2nd Flight][VEN][Vast Empire]
[=A=][MC:1][=SA=]

Viper Flight Two, Viper Seven
Viper Squadron, The Third Starfighter Group
We Fly, You Die

Zhar Bacredi's Wiki
[This message has been edited by Bacredi (edited July 24, 2008 6:56:28 PM)]
StOrMz
ComNet Member
Imperial Baronet

 
StOrMz
 
[VE-NAVY] Petty Officer 1st Class
[VE-VEEC] Ink Slinger
 
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  RE: New Recruit
July 24, 2008 9:19:40 PM    View the profile of StOrMz 
Hello Raiyn,

I am Stormz and Operator of the VENA. I found one minor mistake within our Bio. The very end talks about you wanting vengeance on an entire planet. We (the Vast Empire) are not vengeful. We try not to take unnecessary lives. In regard to this I would like for you to change that before moving on.
Imperial Navy-

Kaph Squadron (The Captains Own)

XO and FL/PO1 StOrMz/Kaph 2-1/Wing 1/mSSD Atrus/1 Fleet/VEN/VE (=A=)(=^SA^=) [IG] [BI]

Imperial Network Star Wars Image
______________________________________________________________

Engineering Corps
StOrMz/WS StOrMz/Lotaith/VET/VE

______________________________________________________________

Pizza Club
StOrMz/DB StOrMz/Bicycle/VEPC/VE

Pizza Delivery Boy
______________________________________________________________

[20:48] * Verkur screams
[20:48]  why are you creaming?
[20:48]  ewwwwwwww
[20:48]  screaming*
Raiyn
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  RE: New Recruit
July 26, 2008 11:01:28 AM    View the profile of Raiyn 
Ok, did what you guys asked. I'm now going to read Chapter II of flight training.
Blue-Leader
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  RE: New Recruit
July 26, 2008 1:24:25 PM    View the profile of Blue-Leader 
Great job, Raiyn. Proceed.
[FM][Petty Officer First Class Zhar Bacredi][Viper 7][Phoenix Wing][mSSD Atrus][2nd Flight][VEN][Vast Empire]
[=A=][MC:1][=SA=]

Viper Flight Two, Viper Seven
Viper Squadron, The Third Starfighter Group
We Fly, You Die

Zhar Bacredi's Wiki
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