What? LK-486 is capable of things more than Star Wars fanfics?!

Indeed, we have all asked that question before. If you haven't, you just did by reading the above line.

Anywho, one time I did SO bad in my precal class I had to write an...essay. Yes, an extra-credit math essay. So sit back and enjoy the complicated yet oddly funny world of my Precalculus class.

WARNING! The following is a disclaimer for the subject matter of this paper: do not read this paper if you are pregnant, have heart troubles, high blood pressure, are impaired by drugs or alcohol, or do not like math. The words contained therein pertain heavily to what shall henceforth be known as the Dread Pre-Calculus. Ride (or read) at your own risk!

Throughout life, it sometimes becomes necessary to do things you don't want to do. Such an example would be the Dread Pre-Calculus, which may be considered the most dangerous course a person can take his senior year at  High School. The Dread Pre-Calculus, it can even be said, was invented by aliens to weed out the weak. Indeed, amidst the flurry of numbers , lines, and squiggly letters, one particular knot of troublesome math errata may stand in the way of a man (or woman, for that matter) and his shiny four, and thus alien acceptance. This swampy soup of the Dread Pre-Calculas, is for some reason, given the disarming name of “phase shift”; no, phase shift is not an ultra-cool superpower. Rather, it is part of a sine, cosine or tangent formula.

Take the following equation into consideration (let $ = pi): 3sin(2$x + 4$) - 3

This calls for a man of intellect: in order to find the phase shift of the above equation (henceforth known as Fig.1), one must divide the italicized number by the bold number: c divided by b. That would bring the phase shift to equal x. However, there is an exception to this rule.

Take the following equation into consideration (let $ = pi) 3sin 2$(x + 4$) - 3

This calls for a woman of intellect: The phase shift of this particular equation is simply the italicized portion: the c. The phase shift is 4.

Now for the tricky part: period. For some reason unknown the man, the aliens also included this little bit into the functions.

Take the following equation into consideration (let $ = pi) 3sin 2$(x + 4$) - 3

The period is simply 2$/b. Substitute the bold x, b, into the equation to get 2$/1 (it equals one because there is nothing in front of the x, and one is the default number). Therefore, the period for this equation is equal to one.

Warning! Don't let tests fool you into thinking the period is given with sentences like “Write the equation of the sine function with the given amplitude, period, etc.” It has been clinically proven that such an assumption is hazardous to your health! Be sure to find the period using the 2$/b rule!

Thanks to this handy little guide, you should be cruising in space in no time with your alien brothers. Enjoy your stay in the universe, brush your teeth, and be sure to look both ways before crossing the Math Street.