Name Gunther Rall
Species Human
Gender Male
Age 20
Height 5'9"
Weight 193lbs
Physical Build Fit, strong and solid
Hair Color Brown
Eye Color  Blue
Scars One across left cheek caused by a Wookiee - the Wookiee came off worse.

Hello there. My name is Jegora Fal, and I'm the current Naval Training Officer. I, along with several others (Shazam, Tomas, C-3PX2 and Ibram Tyrol) will be helping you through your training.

Now, you already have a good start on your bio; that is to say, you have your vitals complete. But there is a bit more we want to add.

If you will go here and take a look at Chapter 1, you'll have al the information you need.

You can either edit your previous post or simply re-post your complete bio on this thread. I or one of the other staff members will take a look at that time.

On behalf of the entire VE community, welcome to the Navy.

Name Gunther Rall
Species Human
Gender Male
Age 20
Height 5'9"
Weight 193lbs
Physical Build Fit, strong and solid
Hair Color Brown
Eye Color  Blue
Scars One across left cheek caused by a Wookiee - the Wookiee came off worse.

Appearance:
Although Magic might not be the tallest, his broad shoulders, scarred face and solid build make him an imposing sight to anyone that crosses his path. Despite his somewhat intimidating demeanour, he is a very outgoing and friendly person. He loves a good joke, provided he is not on the receiving end.

Personality:
Magic is a very outgoing person. He is always keen to strike up a conversation with new people and is game for a laugh. He can sometimes come across as a bit rash, but this is mostly down to his impulsive nature. He loves to watch and get involved in any sport and is very active and physically fit. As a young man he played a wide array of sports and this has carried through into his adult life. Magic also enjoys the outdoors, camping and hunting.
He loves to get away from it all and be at one with his surroundings. Taking into account all of the above, Magic is never happier than being in the cockpit testing his piloting skills.

History:
As a child Magic's parents constantly pressured him to get involved in sports as well as to apply himself to his studies. This left Magic with very little spare time for himself and also taught Magic how to survive on 5 to 6 hours sleep per night. He performed admirably in school even if sports were the main focus of his attention.  In what little spare time Magic away from school and sports, he would spend time with his father. Magic's father was an accomplished shuttle pilot on Coruscant and Magic's fondest memories where of white knuckles shuttle rides through the traffic lanes of the city world. Having always wished to serve the Empire, when Magic came of age he enlisted in the Imperial Navy in order to fully utilise the flying skills he acquired whilst he was younger and to further his skills against the best the galaxy has to offer, the pilots of the Empire.

Anden has a good point: why the Navy over a similar freight/cargo style of piloting?  If you can't think of a significant reason: that's okay because this only acts as a rough draft.  Over time, hopefully, you'll begin to better develop your character, or, atleast, get some new ideas about what transpired to make your character the way he is.  The only reasonable edit I could spot was that you mentioned your character laughs easily- in the physical description.  So- maybe wipe that part out of there (since it's already mentioned in your personality portion) and it should be fairly cleaned up.  Adding the part that Jeg mentioned could be helpful, most certainly, but you've already kind of offered up a reason (you loved flying), so it's not totally necessary for you to include that to move on to the next chapter.  Clarifying is great, but, like I said, you might not have the details planned out so far as to do that clarifying.

Chapter 2 (it's located right under Chapter 1 on that link that Jeg gave you in his first post), will require you to read briefly over some materials in order to complete a short assignment.  The assignment basically asks that you describe two maneuvers of your choosing in the level of detail you feel is necessary.  Just make sure you post that here and we'll be sure to critique it for you.  Until then: keep rockin and enjoy your time here at the VE.  Oh, and, again- if you can: try and jump on IRC to meet some folks: definitely helps you to get a better idea of what we're like here.

BLAH!